Today in the mail I got my first two flip mats ever. I got them as a gift to myself to go along with my 4e core books and my first 4e game ever with a brand new group. Except...after more than four months of trying to rally a face-to-face group, I still only have two players. I've exhausted every resource I can think of where I'm living currently; the messageboards, networking sites, word of mouth.
I found a couple on Pen & Paper that live sooo close by and want a game to join, but for some reason they suddenly went incommunicado shortly after bailing the first session due to a migraine. I might get angry with them for ditching the game for such a trivial reason or for going incommunicado, but for all I know the husband got a brain tumor and then they lost internet access. I have two friends from high school that have agreed to try D&D but I haven't been able to reach them for an entire week. I might get angry with them, but this is not new or unexpected behavior from them. One of my players tells me that she has a family friend who plays along with her husband, but somehow the player hasn't been able to talk to her in the 3+ weeks since mentioning her. The player has said she would give me the couple's contact info, but has yet to. Again I might get angry with her, but she's currently jobless and depressed so I don't think getting angry would help.
The only possible resource I haven't yet looked into is the local gaming store. By 'local' I mean it's forty-five minutes away, and I don't even know where it is or what it's called. And honestly I'm so disheartened right now that all I can think is 'what's the point? I can always start Kingdom Hearts instead.' I'm not particularly looking for advice, I just wanted to vent a little so thanks for tuning in folks.
TS
I found a couple on Pen & Paper that live sooo close by and want a game to join, but for some reason they suddenly went incommunicado shortly after bailing the first session due to a migraine. I might get angry with them for ditching the game for such a trivial reason or for going incommunicado, but for all I know the husband got a brain tumor and then they lost internet access.
If you ever got migraines, you wouldn't think it was a trivial issue to bail on gaming because of one. I don't get them but a couple of my players do and are pretty much non-functional when they get them.
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No, migraines are not trivial (I've had one - urgh), but I can certainly understand TS's disappointment. I moved to my current location last September and have had a difficult time trying to find a group.
I have a few friends who are interested in both 4e and Pathfinder, but we've yet to meet. I've been too timid, among other reasons, to join a PBP but might in the near future just to be able to game.
Good luck and I hope you find a group soon.
Director of Game Development
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I don't think this thread has anything in particular related to 4th edition, so I'm moving it to the off-topic forum.
Maybe we need a non-game-system-specific forum for talking about gaming in general....
I agree. The off-topic section is more of a playground in my eyes and I don't want any serious gaming threads getting pooped on before they get ridiculous. I fully support a General Gaming section.
Working on a Saturday Gary? Come visit if you get a chance.
Wayfinder, PaizoCon Founder
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Should this go in Gamer Connection?
Anyway, my advice? Go online. As in Maptools, or Fantasy Grounds, or some virtual tabletop, with a voice chat program to add on. In this way, you eliminate distance as a deterrent to potential gamers. You eliminate the problem of people not wanting to "spend several hours over at so-and-so's home" when all they really want is to stay in the comfort of their own home.
Sure, it is NOT like playing face-to-face. But it's darned close. And for people who have problems getting players because they live in a cultural dead zone, this method of gaming can supply a whole bunch of potential players.
I don't think this thread has anything in particular related to 4th edition, so I'm moving it to the off-topic forum.
Maybe we need a non-game-system-specific forum for talking about gaming in general....
I agree. The off-topic section is more of a playground in my eyes and I don't want any serious gaming threads getting pooped on before they get ridiculous. I fully support a General Gaming section.
Working on a Saturday Gary? Come visit if you get a chance.
I'm not really sure at all that I do. One concern is it just becomes another battleground in the Edition Wars. Another issue is it decreases the traffic on many of the currently existing forums which probably is not really ideal.
I'm not at all sure I agree with moving this to 'off topic'. Its not really 'off-topic' at all. Its just not specifically focused on 4E as opposed to other editions of D&D.
Just keep at it TS. Your in a fairly populous area of the North East. Population density can't be that low. There must be some gamers around where you live.
Would you consider being a player? You might have more luck finding a group and joining as a player. Or maybe meeting other gamers through some other games? Have you been attending all the cons going off within reasonable driving distance? Lots of gamers at local cons and some of them might be from your neck of the woods.
I'm glad to hear that others think that migraines are a valid reason to bail a game; if that couple ever gets back to me it'll be one less thing for me to be irritated about.
I don't think this thread has anything in particular related to 4th edition, so I'm moving it to the off-topic forum.
Maybe we need a non-game-system-specific forum for talking about gaming in general....
I think that would help. I don't know about others, but I think of the 3e and 4e forums as THE D&D forums and all the others as non-D&D forums. But maybe just renaming the Off-Topic forum, or adding a blurb to it, would help too.
By the way, TS, where are you located?
Sullivan County, New York. It's a social desert here; I'm sure there are gamers nearby but I think most of them don't even know that message boards and networking sites exist.
Anyway, my advice? Go online.
That's actually what I decided to do yesterday. My only problem is actually sitting down to watch and learn from the MapTool tutorials. It shouldn't be an issue, but I have a party to go to this afternoon and once the week starts my free time goes down the drain...damn full time employment.
Would you consider being a player? You might have more luck finding a group and joining as a player. Or maybe meeting other gamers through some other games? Have you been attending all the cons going off within reasonable driving distance? Lots of gamers at local cons and some of them might be from your neck of the woods.
I'd love to be a player and will check out the boards and networking sites again for nearby games. But when I looked through them all to post about my own game, the nearest pre-existing game was 1+ hour away. It's workable, but with gas prices the way they are and my hourly salary...ugh. Do gamers really meet gamers at cons? I've only been to one con ever and I just figured them to be like gamer vacations. I wonder how far and when the nearest con is...
TS
Well my experience has been that when it rains it pours. In other words if you do have a successful group pretty soon you have more people clamouring to play then can be accommodated. Your group acts as its own advertising creating word of mouth and if your running around with cool handouts and such those attract attention as well.
There are gamers out there or at least potential gamers, its just a matter of getting them to notice each other.
No, migraines are not trivial
I've fortunately never had a migraine, but I've known people who have, and they all agree on the following test:
Migraine test - Does the idea of a shotgun being inserted into your rectum and discharged fill you with thoughts of sweet, blessed relief? If you answered yes, it is a migraine. Also, if you are capable of reading the question, it is not a migraine.
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No, migraines are not trivialI've fortunately never had a migraine, but I've known people who have, and they all agree on the following test:
Migraine test - Does the idea of a shotgun being inserted into your rectum and discharged fill you with thoughts of sweet, blessed relief? If you answered yes, it is a migraine. Also, if you are capable of reading the question, it is not a migraine.
What a vivid image that paints - and slightly disturbing, but effectively true. I certainly never want to experience another one.
I'll be happy to play or to DM - with Pathfinder I hope to do both if my new found group ever gets together. I may show up on the PBP boards sometime.
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By the way, TS, where are you located?Sullivan County, New York. It's a social desert here; I'm sure there are gamers nearby but I think most of them don't even know that message boards and networking sites exist.
Hmm, sorry but that rules me out. Ah, well. Best of luck to you, I went through something similar 2 years ago.
Do gamers really meet gamers at cons? I've only been to one con ever and I just figured them to be like gamer vacations. I wonder how far and when the nearest con is...
How much can it hurt to check it out?
No, migraines are not trivialI've fortunately never had a migraine, but I've known people who have, and they all agree on the following test:
Migraine test - Does the idea of a shotgun being inserted into your rectum and discharged fill you with thoughts of sweet, blessed relief? If you answered yes, it is a migraine. Also, if you are capable of reading the question, it is not a migraine.
I've had a couple of migraines, inflicted upon me by my wife. Usually it is accompanied by partial blindness in my left eye and the desire to drill holes in my skull at my temples. I can read simple sentences, though.
TS, what's your handle on P&P? i'm acive over there (agoraderek).
I use the same screen name on every gaming site.
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Maybe we need a non-game-system-specific forum for talking about gaming in general....
As a relatively new GM, I've had a few thoughts that I couldn't fit into a category as they exist now (like designing gaming tables) that would work a lot better in a general gaming advice forum. So this is one vote for a general gaming forum.
I empathize, Tequila Sunrise. I have found players but not with similar enough play styles to form a cohesive group.
I had similar problems. It took me well over a year to find a solid, stable group. I went through a lot of extraordinarily flaky people. Saying they'd come, then disappearing off the face of the earth, or swearing they really wanted to play, but were apparently so busy, they would not be able to make any date in the next 10 years.
I got lucky and found a group of people who were all friends with each other, but none of them really wanted to run a game, just play. The fact that I'm kind of an outsider to them actually is helpful in a lot of ways to being a DM. We all seem to be pretty happy with the arrangement.
I wish you the best of luck. Keep trying and it will eventually come together.
Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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Out of curiosity, are you running a straight D&D game or using your tome(s) of house rules? I know that I tend to lose interest in a group very soon after learning they employ substantial house rules. So, while I may be gung ho with the idea of joining a campaign, that can rapidly turn sour if I'm presented with excessive house rules.
Interesting. I find houserules to generally be a turn off as well. I wonder if that is common.
I empathize, Tequila Sunrise. I have found players but not with similar enough play styles to form a cohesive group.
I'd totally game with you if we were in the same area. But if we played classless, you'd have to GM.
I had similar problems. It took me well over a year to find a solid, stable group. I went through a lot of extraordinarily flaky people. Saying they'd come, then disappearing off the face of the earth, or swearing they really wanted to play, but were apparently so busy, they would not be able to make any date in the next 10 years.
Flaky gamers are so frustrating! What is it about gaming that makes its hobbyists so fraking weird? It's like rpgs radiate some kind of 'antisocial radions' that put us significantly more at risk of extreme social ineptitude than any other group of people.
Out of curiosity, are you running a straight D&D game or using your tome(s) of house rules? I know that I tend to lose interest in a group very soon after learning they employ substantial house rules. So, while I may be gung ho with the idea of joining a campaign, that can rapidly turn sour if I'm presented with excessive house rules.
I actually don't have a Tome of House Rules for 4e. (...yet) As an aside, the Tome isn't meant to be used all in one game and I've never used even half of them. Anyway I've found too that players are very skittish about house rules so I really try to keep them few and positive. I told my 4e players that we would have three house rules:
1. No non-class skills. (So any PC can use their class trainings on any skill in the skill chapter.)
2. PCs will get enhancement bonuses and extra crit dice to replace the gumball magical items that I won't be dropping with every orc.
3. I don't grant XP for killing things. There'll be plenty of combat in my game, but as long as the game is progressing and everyone is having fun I give XP.
Hm, I also mentioned that my homebrew powers that operate off alignment are up for grabs. It is possible that the couple heard that and thought "Run! He's one of those 'all paladins have to be LG' DMs!" but I like to think that others aren't as presumptive as that.
TS
I'd totally game with you if we were in the same area. But if we played classless, you'd have to GM.
You know me, I'm always classless. Drop by for a game whenever you are in da hood.
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No, migraines are not trivialI've fortunately never had a migraine, but I've known people who have, and they all agree on the following test:
Migraine test - Does the idea of a shotgun being inserted into your rectum and discharged fill you with thoughts of sweet, blessed relief? If you answered yes, it is a migraine. Also, if you are capable of reading the question, it is not a migraine.
Other migraine test: does it feel as if your skull has lightning arcing inside of it, and the idea of getting someone to crack your head open to relieve the suffering seem like the best idea you've ever had?
Blurring vision, flashes of light, auras around any light source, nausea, dizziness, and so on - not exactly a fun experience. I have gotten them at work before, and as I work at a casino it makes them even more thrilling. You soon hit a point where you don't even think about wanting it to stop, because you can't muster that much coherency.
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As to the original topic, I hear you. I live in the same kind of social desert, since my job leaves me with midweek off when everyone else is only free weekends...
Other migraine test: does it feel as if your skull has lightning arcing inside of it, and the idea of getting someone to crack your head open to relieve the suffering seem like the best idea you've ever had?
Maybe you should try it. That's how Athena happened.
What, you don't want a Goddess to leap out of your skull?
As to the original topic, I hear you. I live in the same kind of social desert, since my job leaves me with midweek off when everyone else is only free weekends...
Ouch. Is there a university near by? Surely college kids have crazy schedules.
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As to the original topic, I hear you. I live in the same kind of social desert, since my job leaves me with midweek off when everyone else is only free weekends...Ouch. Is there a university near by? Surely college kids have crazy schedules.
Yeah, my college group 2 years ago played 5-10PM Wed and/or Thurs.
I second the meetup.com idea, search D&D or gaming or roleplaying... there are a good amount of them up there take a look at This one it might help
Edit: Never mind, I see that you're already in that one
Flaky gamers are so frustrating! What is it about gaming that makes its hobbyists so fraking weird? It's like rpgs radiate some kind of 'antisocial radions' that put us significantly more at risk of extreme social ineptitude than any other group of people.
I play on-line, and what drives me nuts is people who drop off the face of the earth and can't be bothered to send a message to the DM saying "I'm not interested in the game any more", "I'm too busy", etc. Maybe some people think that it's more polite to say nothing at all than to say "Sorry, this isn't for me".
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I used to move a lot, so I developed some techniques to get in contact with other players, One of the most successful was this:
tell a friend to meet with you in a mall, a friend that is usually late, then, get there around 1 hour before the meeting time.
bring a core book with you, sit next to the cinemas and start reading it.
its possible that someone will start talking to you.
other is the same thing, but go to a bookstore.
hope that helps.
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Flaky gamers are so frustrating! What is it about gaming that makes its hobbyists so fraking weird? It's like rpgs radiate some kind of 'antisocial radions' that put us significantly more at risk of extreme social ineptitude than any other group of people.I play on-line, and what drives me nuts is people who drop off the face of the earth and can't be bothered to send a message to the DM saying "I'm not interested in the game any more", "I'm too busy", etc. Maybe some people think that it's more polite to say nothing at all than to say "Sorry, this isn't for me".
been there, done that.
shame on me
Flaky gamers are so frustrating! What is it about gaming that makes its hobbyists so fraking weird? It's like rpgs radiate some kind of 'antisocial radions' that put us significantly more at risk of extreme social ineptitude than any other group of people.I play on-line, and what drives me nuts is people who drop off the face of the earth and can't be bothered to send a message to the DM saying "I'm not interested in the game any more", "I'm too busy", etc. Maybe some people think that it's more polite to say nothing at all than to say "Sorry, this isn't for me".
Ugh, those people are freakin' ridiculous.
tell a friend to meet with you in a mall, a friend that is usually late, then, get there around 1 hour before the meeting time.
bring a core book with you, sit next to the cinemas and start reading it.
its possible that someone will start talking to you.
other is the same thing, but go to a bookstore.
Oooh, I like that idea! And Batman did come out today...
TS
TequilaSunrise, you can also exorcise your frustration in a MMORPG, like many gamers do.
Even if these heretics dare taking the name of "roleplaying games", and most of the time dont deserve it, they still bring a daily dose of adventure, magic and socializing.
After all, that's better than no game at all.
After that, you can check your local gamestore to recruit players or join a gaming group.
Stores usually have a board for these gatherings.
Some even have a few tables for gamers, in the backroom or the basement.
Or get yourself into a Play by Post game, here or anywhere else.
Or even start your own as a DM.
Happy gaming :)
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Other migraine test: does it feel as if your skull has lightning arcing inside of it, and the idea of getting someone to crack your head open to relieve the suffering seem like the best idea you've ever had?Maybe you should try it. That's how Athena happened.
What, you don't want a Goddess to leap out of your skull?
Not really. Deities - particularly the ones like the Greeks - are usually way more trouble than any benefit they bring along with them. Troublemakers, the lot of 'em.
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Not really. Deities - particularly the ones like the Greeks - are usually way more trouble than any benefit they bring along with them. Troublemakers, the lot of 'em.What, you don't want a Goddess to leap out of your skull?
Have you ever seen Saint Seya? C'mon!!!
Athena was the one godess that pick up on every other god.. and those stupid knights of her coudnt see they were fighting for the wrong side... pfft
TS, what's your handle on P&P? i'm acive over there (agoraderek).I use the same screen name on every gaming site.
Me too!
Been in the same situation myself MANY times. My best advice. JUST PLAY. Find 1 other person and start a game. Even if it's kind of ridiculous to start an RPG with just one other person.
Help the player create 4 characters and just let him/her run all the characters. Much better if you have a current game going to get other people interested than if you're always telling people that you're trying to get a group together.
Been in the same situation myself MANY times. My best advice. JUST PLAY. Find 1 other person and start a game. Even if it's kind of ridiculous to start an RPG with just one other person.
Today we had our first session. The couple got back in contact and said they could make it today. The wife called this morning to say that they couldn't make it because hubby had a dental emergency; I'm a little annoyed but she did bother to call and she did sound genuinely disappointed that they couldn't make it. So I decided to just play with my two remaining players; we had a short game but it was a blast. I hope the couple can make it to next weekend's game, but in the mean time I put up a couple flyers around town and will continue asking around for players.
Thanks for the kind words everyone,
TS
Been in the same situation myself MANY times. My best advice. JUST PLAY. Find 1 other person and start a game. Even if it's kind of ridiculous to start an RPG with just one other person.
That's where my best friend and I are at. The other members of our gaming group were completely unreliable, and our schedules are pretty tough to coordinate... So we decide to say f*** it, we'll just play the two of us whenever we can. The player runs two characters, and the DM runs a few NPCs, and we alternate playing the role of DM. Our first one on one session starts tomorrow (Rise of the Rune Lords)... I look forward to initiating dialogues with myself, and having conflict between my two characters. Wish us luck!
As an aside, Expeditious Retreat Press also have a cool series of one-on-one modules. We'll probably end up playing a few of those, as well...