Please witness the Atomic Array


Off-Topic Discussions

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The Jade wrote:
Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:

Jade! Come back, Jade! Dad needs you,,,and mom wants you!

Shande! Come back Shande!!!

It's like if Shane was a Yiddish cowboy ;)

A shande (Yid) – a disgrace; one who brings embarrassment through mere association, from German eine Schande, translated "a disgrace", meaning "such a shame"

I thought I was combining Shane with Jade. Good thing to know, though, that I curse subconsciously in Yiddish.


Make your meat puppet go read the Maya link I put up for him.

RPG Superstar 2012

Mairkurion {tm} wrote:
taig wrote:
Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

His plan is working perfectly...

Speaking of plans, why did people stop posting in the Rone Barton thread?

We know where he is.
That's not the point. GO READ THE PLAN!

But your plan is off topic.


taig wrote:
Mairkurion {tm} wrote:
taig wrote:
Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

His plan is working perfectly...

Speaking of plans, why did people stop posting in the Rone Barton thread?

We know where he is.
That's not the point. GO READ THE PLAN!
But your plan is off topic.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.

*sizzles*

EDIT: You should flag it as irrelevant.

Heh. Heh. Heh.


Mairkurion {tm} wrote:
Make your meat puppet go read the Maya link I put up for him.

I saw a sacrificial altar stone in Panama. Had a permanent stain right about where th' heart would be on a guy.


I wish a bunch of Xibalban monkeytail deathlords and their iguana jaguars would climb out of the damn pottery and start serious fraggin' in the midst of that house of snooty wannabes.


I will take this to mean Heathy has already scheduled his visit and bought the tickets ahead of time.


I look forward to arguing whether Yigg or Ithaqqa is the real Qetzalcoatl in the house of the razor room.

Liberty's Edge

taig wrote:
Mairkurion {tm} wrote:
taig wrote:
You won't believe this, but there have been flamewars about politics, religion, and 4e.
Is it my fault that atheistic Republicans love 4e?
Is that a cricket bat you're swinging with?

Nah, more like a splitting maul.

Liberty's Edge

Welcome back, Rone! Now where's my stuff!

RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32

The Jade wrote:

Thanks, Mairkurion. :)

And thanks to our ENnie prodders. Because of you... win, place, or lose, at least we managed to ENTER this year!

New Atomic Array in the works. If all goes well, it should release next Friday.

Yaaay.

Gotta go find my Thin Lizzy albums now...

Silver Crusade

It's good to see your furry face on the boards, Rone!


Madgael wrote:
The Jade wrote:

Thanks, Mairkurion. :)

And thanks to our ENnie prodders. Because of you... win, place, or lose, at least we managed to ENTER this year!

New Atomic Array in the works. If all goes well, it should release next Friday.

Yaaay.

Gotta go find my Thin Lizzy albums now...

The boys are indeed back in town, my friend.


Thank you all for your well wishing, guys, I... WHOA!

LOOK OUT!

Atomic Array episode 43 arrives just in time to save the life of your puppy!

Now that we have your attention… How do you handle everything from an aasimar to a horde of zombies without carrying enough gear to sink in a swamp? That’s the question Ryan Costello, Jr. (know hereon in as Contrary Jellos) aimed to answer with the latest Pathfinder-compatible crunch-fest from 4 Winds Fantasy Gaming: Strategists and Tacticians: the Definite Guide to Clever Warriors.

Great concepts. Great writing. Great editing. There, I used up my three greats for today and I don’t even feel bad about it.

4 Winds Fantasy Gaming: http://4windsfantasygaming.com/

Ed’s Pick: Sun Tzu’s The Art of War
Rone’s Rant: “Losing Santa” <-- This rant has an audible spoiler alert but here's another heads up... don't play it around kids who still believe in Santa unless you want me to be the one to tell 'em otherwise.

Ed suggested I create a theme song for this episode involving percussive clangs of swords and armor. He was looking for Stomp goes medieval I think, straight percussion, but I went in a strange direction from there to create the sonic absurdity This Was a Bad Strategy.


Great to hear you back guys, but... but...

"Fire at will"
"Who's Will?"

Groan...


Heh. A groaner ever once in a while is good. They can't be the paragons of wit all the time. ;P

Listening to it for the second time now. Welcome back, AA. Oh how we missed thee.


ericthecleric wrote:

Great to hear you back guys, but... but...

"Fire at will"
"Who's Will?"

Groan...

(Walks over to a frosted window, looking out wanly at geese alit upon a wintry pond.)

So much hate in the world...

Although I always try and keep my humor homegrown and spontaneous, "Who's Will?" is a joke I once saw in the 1971 film Zachariah. I've been waiting for a long time to whip it out and jam it somewhere special... decades even... and to think that when I finally did I had it blow up in my face like this... and all over your face too!

Oh the shame of it all! I vow... nay! AS PAIZO IS MY WITNESS I BLOOD OATH ONLY TO USE THE HIGHEST GRADE FARM FRESH FREE RANGE PUNS FROM THIS DAY FORTH, LEST I BE DAMNED TO A LAYER OF HELL WHERE THE ONLY MUSIC THAT PLAYS IS A POLKA BLUES FUSION!

Apples, peaches, pumpkin pie
Let's play hide and seek...
I don't want her you can have her
She don't RPG... HEY!

;)


Mairkurion {tm} wrote:

Heh. A groaner ever once in a while is good. They can't be the paragons of wit all the time. ;P

Listening to it for the second time now. Welcome back, AA. Oh how we missed thee.

Thank you, brother. It is good to be back. :)


No hate, grone. ;)

You must have a stack of emails to get through.... :D


ericthecleric wrote:
No hate, grone. ;)

Wow an eponymous variant for a bad pun. Well played, sir!

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Rone, I have been accused of having a strange and even dark sense of humour. Nothing I have ever said, done, or laughed at holds a candle to five Rudolf spankings. Thank you not just for having me on the show but for having me on this show.

By the way, I was so busy mentally verifying "Contrary Jellos" (you kept junior an abbreviation. Tricky, sir) that I missed the opportunity to point out my Dad worked for Kraft/General Foods, makers of Jell-O.

Sovereign Court Contributor

Another smashing hit!


Ryan. Costello wrote:

Rone, I have been accused of having a strange and even dark sense of humour. Nothing I have ever said, done, or laughed at holds a candle to five Rudolf spankings. Thank you not just for having me on the show but for having me on this show.

By the way, I was so busy mentally verifying "Contrary Jellos" (you kept junior an abbreviation. Tricky, sir) that I missed the opportunity to point out my Dad worked for Kraft/General Foods, makers of Jell-O.

Now that Kraft connection HAS to be mentioned on the next show.

Thank you kindly, Ryan. :) I'll make sure to save my most dark and zesty material for your visits.


Louis Agresta wrote:
Another smashing hit!

Thanks, Lou!

Contributor

Ryan. Costello wrote:
Rone, I have been accused of having a strange and even dark sense of humour. Nothing I have ever said, done, or laughed at holds a candle to five Rudolf spankings. Thank you not just for having me on the show but for having me on this show.

If only we could put all the out takes on air, right Ryan? :)


Ed Healy wrote:
Ryan. Costello wrote:
Rone, I have been accused of having a strange and even dark sense of humour. Nothing I have ever said, done, or laughed at holds a candle to five Rudolf spankings. Thank you not just for having me on the show but for having me on this show.
If only we could put all the out takes on air, right Ryan? :)

Wha? Give us loyalists the unedited version! :P


Urizen wrote:
Ed Healy wrote:
Ryan. Costello wrote:
Rone, I have been accused of having a strange and even dark sense of humour. Nothing I have ever said, done, or laughed at holds a candle to five Rudolf spankings. Thank you not just for having me on the show but for having me on this show.
If only we could put all the out takes on air, right Ryan? :)
Wha? Give us loyalists the unedited version! :P

Wonder what that would be rated? At our best we're XXX... at our worst... Zzz...

Ed's right though... there are some daring things said and laughed at that never make it on air. We've had guests who have no problem rolling with occasional bouts of impromptu dark comedy but then there was the time I unwittingly made an off color joke to a guest who just so happened to be a pastor. He didn't say anything at the time but you could have heard a pin drop. When Ed later filled me in I said, "You gotta warn a brother!" <G>

Needless to say, that was one of those comical asides not intended for the air. Nothing as bad as a Lou Agresta joke mind you, as his are supplied direct from the devil himself.

Long ago, in a car dealership far away, I helped a friend shop Acuras. The salesman was very professional, but when he showed us the spacious trunk I said to him, "Whaddya think? Six bodies in there?"

It was if I was using some kind of conversational litmus strip to ascertain acid wit, because the salesmen laughed aloud, his voice sprouted a depraved tone, and he started in with a torrent of dark humor like you wouldn't believe. I'd unlocked his inner beast. My friend was quietly horrified by the pair of us. Same thing happened with a waiter named Al in a very shi shi restaurant. He was so professional but then I said that one thing that made his eyes widen manically and his voice sink down gravely and menacing and he started in with material that would have made Kinison blush. I surveyed milady, "Doesn't he seem like the guy of guy who, when he's not serving food in a tux, strangles hookers in cheap motels?" and she agreed. I seem to be able to transform men into wereweasels better than a full moon or an unguarded hen. Great, unmarketable skill #406.

The Exchange

As much as I would love to hang with you Jade, that last post makes me realize that for me spending to much time with you in person would be like reading every book in the Mistatonic library in a weekend.


Crimson Jester wrote:
As much as I would love to hang with you Jade, that last post makes me realize that for me spending to much time with you in person would be like reading every book in the Mistatonic library in a weekend.

I'm no seaside cultist, but for some reason I come seaside cultist approved.

Contributor

Rone's just being kind. If you had an unedited version, you'd hear how bad my jokes are and would lose all respect - if you have any, that is - for me.


The Jade wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
As much as I would love to hang with you Jade, that last post makes me realize that for me spending to much time with you in person would be like reading every book in the Mistatonic library in a weekend.
I'm no seaside cultist, but for some reason I come seaside cultist approved.

... Now I want a sample. It would make up for the sheer impossibility of me ever braving the cold north of Tennessee for any length of time which keeps me from ever visiting those actual territories in person.


Orthos wrote:
The Jade wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
As much as I would love to hang with you Jade, that last post makes me realize that for me spending to much time with you in person would be like reading every book in the Mistatonic library in a weekend.
I'm no seaside cultist, but for some reason I come seaside cultist approved.
... Now I want a sample. It would make up for the sheer impossibility of me ever braving the cold north of Tennessee for any length of time which keeps me from ever visiting those actual territories in person.

Oh please reconsider a visit to our chilled and craggy shore, Orthos. We'd just love to have you for dinner. Be warned, we like our food battered... beyond recognition. ;)


The Jade wrote:
Oh please reconsider a visit to our chilled and craggy shore, Orthos. We'd just love to have you for dinner. Be warned, we like our food battered... beyond recognition. ;)

Yeah, sucks that you're too far north for a cold-blooded reptile like myself :P


Orthos wrote:
The Jade wrote:
Oh please reconsider a visit to our chilled and craggy shore, Orthos. We'd just love to have you for dinner. Be warned, we like our food battered... beyond recognition. ;)
Yeah, sucks that you're too far north for a cold-blooded reptile like myself :P

Well if Mohammed won't come to the mountain...

(Calls into being an army of lurking horrors, all undulating southerly like some migration of wingless pseudopod geese.)


The Jade wrote:
Orthos wrote:
The Jade wrote:
Oh please reconsider a visit to our chilled and craggy shore, Orthos. We'd just love to have you for dinner. Be warned, we like our food battered... beyond recognition. ;)
Yeah, sucks that you're too far north for a cold-blooded reptile like myself :P

Well if Mohammed won't come to the mountain...

(Calls into being an army of lurking horrors, all undulating southerly like some migration of wingless pseudopod geese.)

*waves welcomingly*

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

"KAAAAAAGGEEEEEMATSUUUUUUU!"

Oh wait, no that's not right...

"TAAACTTTIIIIIICCCCCCCSSSSSS!"

Awesome show guys. Downloaded it Saturday morning (your Friday night... yes I was regularly checking the website in hopes it would be there )and listened to it on my way to work that day.

This is definately on my must have (when I can afford it) list now.

Looking forward to the next one now.
I'm going to have to think of something creative for my entry now. I am the boss and technically the only one higher than me is the owner, which happens to be my parents...


Grue in the Attic wrote:
*waves welcomingly*

You're making me nostalgic for the Zork trilogy.


flash_cxxi wrote:

"KAAAAAAGGEEEEEMATSUUUUUUU!"

Oh wait, no that's not right...

"TAAACTTTIIIIIICCCCCCCSSSSSS!"

Awesome show guys. Downloaded it Saturday morning (your Friday night... yes I was regularly checking the website in hopes it would be there )and listened to it on my way to work that day.

This is definately on my must have (when I can afford it) list now.

Looking forward to the next one now.
I'm going to have to think of something creative for my entry now. I am the boss and technically the only one higher than me is the owner, which happens to be my parents...

Thanks, Flash!

I'd agree that you have a quandary regarding the boss contest. Then again, if handled with a comic touch, throwing your parents under the bus for a game book might be daringly entertaining.

<G>


The Jade wrote:
Grue in the Attic wrote:
*waves welcomingly*
You're making me nostalgic for the Zork trilogy.

This should help.


Orthos wrote:
The Jade wrote:
Grue in the Attic wrote:
*waves welcomingly*
You're making me nostalgic for the Zork trilogy.
This should help.

I sing thine name to the seventh shore of King Duncanthrax the Bellicose's realm! Orthos! Orthos! ORTHOS!

Had to pull myself away from Zork 2 just now.

There were so many more Infocom games. I wish someone would bundle the entire catalog.

Liberty's Edge

Did you guys get my response to your e-mails?


The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
Did you guys get my response to your e-mails?

I can't speak for your communications with Ed, but you and I sent a couple back and forth.

I love the smell of email volley in the morning.

Liberty's Edge Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012

I've got another trip to Tennessee this weekend, so I'll be listening to both Atomic Arrays on the drive (there will be one out this Friday, right? Right??). It will bring some needed levity to the trip.


taig wrote:

I've got another trip to Tennessee this weekend, so I'll be listening to both Atomic Arrays on the drive (there will be one out this Friday, right? Right??). It will bring some needed levity to the trip.

We'll be missing the next slot but it looks good for the one after. Hope you enjoy the episodes. Caveat... the last episode has a "Losing Santa" rant not meant to be played around anyone who believes in Santa. If applicable, yourself included. Beware!

Silver Crusade

The Jade wrote:
taig wrote:

I've got another trip to Tennessee this weekend, so I'll be listening to both Atomic Arrays on the drive (there will be one out this Friday, right? Right??). It will bring some needed levity to the trip.

We'll be missing the next slot but it looks good for the one after. Hope you enjoy the episodes. Caveat... the last episode has a "Losing Santa" rant not meant to be played around anyone who believes in Santa. If applicable, yourself included. Beware!

I was devastated. You have crushed a belief I have clung to for the past 29 years.


Celestial Healer wrote:
The Jade wrote:
taig wrote:

I've got another trip to Tennessee this weekend, so I'll be listening to both Atomic Arrays on the drive (there will be one out this Friday, right? Right??). It will bring some needed levity to the trip.

We'll be missing the next slot but it looks good for the one after. Hope you enjoy the episodes. Caveat... the last episode has a "Losing Santa" rant not meant to be played around anyone who believes in Santa. If applicable, yourself included. Beware!
I was devastated. You have crushed a belief I have clung to for the past 29 years.

Hey, I could have been wrong! What do I know about the existence or nonexistence of big elves with a penchant for home invasion?

Liberty's Edge

The Jade wrote:
The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
Did you guys get my response to your e-mails?

I can't speak for your communications with Ed, but you and I sent a couple back and forth.

I love the smell of email volley in the morning.

Alright, cool, just making sure. I'm really sorry about the mess I caused, and I hope it hasn't tainted any future dealings. I guess I just don't know how or when to keep my mouth shut.

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
The Jade wrote:
The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
Did you guys get my response to your e-mails?

I can't speak for your communications with Ed, but you and I sent a couple back and forth.

I love the smell of email volley in the morning.

Alright, cool, just making sure. I'm really sorry about the mess I caused, and I hope it hasn't tainted any future dealings. I guess I just don't know how or when to keep my mouth shut.

Don't worry Shiny, you're not the only one who didn't get stuff they won. I don't blame Rone & Ed, but the Companies they plug shouldn't say they'll give prize support if they never intend on carrying through with it.


The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
The Jade wrote:
The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
Did you guys get my response to your e-mails?

I can't speak for your communications with Ed, but you and I sent a couple back and forth.

I love the smell of email volley in the morning.

Alright, cool, just making sure. I'm really sorry about the mess I caused, and I hope it hasn't tainted any future dealings. I guess I just don't know how or when to keep my mouth shut.

Look, since the others don't know what we're talking about... let's just air our dirty laundry. Shiny is referring to the fact that he took out a huge ad campaign, TV spots included, targeted at major US cities. He told millions of people that his new podcast Shinytown was going to crush Atomic Array under its adamantine heel. He also told Hell's Angels that we dissed their mamas, so Ed and I were forced to break into a local gun store, gear up, and send a lot of those bad boys to bad ends. We broke into Shiny's compound that night... lots of explosions and broken glass. 80's metal played in the distance the entire time for some reason, almost like we had a soundtrack. Shiny appeared atop a tower that shot up from his villa and lit us up with stinger missiles. Our mecha dog DARF (Doggie Armored Robot Friend) leapt in the way, heroically saving our lives, then laid there buzzing and broken. Enraged, Healy and I shot into the villa, splattered Shiny's men across the walls like some Goth Pollack, ascended the tower and held Shiny by the throat. I could tell by his eyes that something wasn't right. Just then he vomited a cephalopod looking alien which hopped off the tower and spontaneously evolved hang glider wings. Never saw it again.

"I think he was possessed," I said to Ed.

"Naw..." said Shiny, coming to and feeling the blood on his brow as if he didn't understand the concept of his own mortality. "That was just some really bad sushi. Guys, I won the powerball and I lost my head. Thought I could buy godhood. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

Yeah... there was, and he did. I'm happy to report that DARF is back up and running and better than ever with plenty of new upgrades. That was one hell of Tuesday, man.

(Robodog bart then roll credits)

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