The Great McArtor Experiment


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Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber
Charles Evans 25 wrote:
Rhothaerill wrote:
A lot of interesting speculations about Mike McArtor.

Rhothaerill:

Ummm, if Mike permitted anything to be known about himself, being a ninja wouldn't some of those moves be things other than 'roundhouse kicks' all the time? I'm fairly certain lots of oriental weapons & martial arts would be involved.
Just commenting in case you have time to produce a 'corrected' version, if Mike will let you. :D

No corrections!

Substituting 'Mike McArtor' for 'Chuck Norris' (and removing a few of the more offensive Chuck Norris facts) wasn't too bad, but I don't want to do any more substitutions. :)


The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Khellex Manpaw Eats Fleshy Bits wrote:
S/\/\RFs are invading this thread. Time to break out the dinerware and invite Mc Artor to the table.
Okay, time to intervene. S/\/\RFs, I am sorry but you cannot invade this thread. There is a strict law among Paizonians: S/\/\RFs, Snorks, Mcartors, Lemmings, and Monkeys can only invade threads that are specifically devoted to them. Get outta here!
Ha ha! He didn't say Pigeons!

Or Squirrels. At them my minions. Take all their nuts.


Unmcartored wrote:

I am Mike McArtor of the Clan McArtor. I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal.

You too Huh? Aye thought I felt saomethin' familiar.

~~~~Unsheaths his Claymore~~~~

In the end, their canna be only one.


Khellex Manpaw Eats Fleshy Bits wrote:
The Dire Pigeons of Doom wrote:
Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Khellex Manpaw Eats Fleshy Bits wrote:
S/\/\RFs are invading this thread. Time to break out the dinerware and invite Mc Artor to the table.
Okay, time to intervene. S/\/\RFs, I am sorry but you cannot invade this thread. There is a strict law among Paizonians: S/\/\RFs, Snorks, Mcartors, Lemmings, and Monkeys can only invade threads that are specifically devoted to them. Get outta here!
Ha ha! He didn't say Pigeons!
Or Squirrels. At them my minions. Take all their nuts.

Skiurids! Our natural enemies! DIE!!!

Scarab Sages

Just remember what ol' Mike McArtor does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Mike McArtor just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it."

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Mike McArtor always says at a time like that:
"Have ya paid your dues, Mike?"
"Yessir, the check is in the mail."

Scarab Sages

Duke Mike: "I am Mike the McArtor. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples."

Ash: "Well hello Mister McArtor. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: James Jacobs and s~#~... and James Jacobs just left town."

Scarab Sages

Zod wrote:
F. Wesley Schneider wrote:

Gnomes Suck!

Humm... nothing happened... but I do feel like I just got smacked in the back of the head. Ow.

*smack*

Kneel before Zod!

Now cup them...


Way out west there was this fella I wanna tell ya about. Goes by the name of Mike McArtor. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. See, this McArtor, he called himself "The Ninja". Now, "Ninja" - there's a name no man would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Ninja that didn't make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interestin'. See, they call Bellevue the "Beautiful View"; but I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow it as there are some nice folks there. 'Course I ain't never been to London, and I ain't never seen France. And I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I'll tell you what - after seeing Bellevue, and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' as you'd seen in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin' like the good Lord gypped me. Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place in the early '90s - just about the time of our conflict with Sad'm and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, 'cause, what's a hero? Sometimes, there's a man. And I'm talkin' about the Ninja here - the Ninja from Bellevue. Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the Ninja. The Ninja, from Bellevue. And even if he's a lazy man - and the Ninja was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in all of King County, which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide. Sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man. Well, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced it enough.

Scarab Sages

Stands in front of the bathroom mirror with the lights out and holding a single candle

McArtor. McArtor. McArtor.

Checks behind him for Mike McArtor with a hook hand or bloody knife

Damn, still noth....aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!

Dark Archive Contributor

Unmcartored wrote:
He fits right in there. And that's the Ninja. The Ninja, from Bellevue. And even if he's a lazy man - and the Ninja was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in all of King County, which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide.

That whole preamble is super awesome, but that section is the best. THE BEST!

:D


Aberzombie wrote:

Stands in front of the bathroom mirror with the lights out and holding a single candle

McArtor. McArtor. McArtor.

Checks behind him for Mike McArtor with a hook hand or bloody knife

Damn, still noth....aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!

Bye Zombie. You'll rise again.

Liberty's Edge

Anybody else find it spooky that Mike just 'happened' to post right after zombie?

Also, Hi Mike! I hope everything is going well with you.


Isn't Aber a skeleton?

Liberty's Edge

Nope, JuJu zombie.

Scarab Sages

Wiglaf wrote:

Anybody else find it spooky that Mike just 'happened' to post right after zombie?

Also, Hi Mike! I hope everything is going well with you.

Yeah, isn't that weird. The old "chant his name 3 times" routine worked. Sweet! Who should I try next?

Hmmmm....

Stands in front of the bathroom mirror with the lights out and holding a single candle

Alyssa Milano. Alyssa Milano. Alyssa Milano.

Checks behind him for Alyssa Milano

Dark Archive Contributor

Nope. Me again.

Sorry.

Paizo Employee Chief Technical Officer

Aberzombie wrote:

Stands in front of the bathroom mirror with the lights out and holding a single candle

Alyssa Milano. Alyssa Milano. Alyssa Milano.

Checks behind him for Alyssa Milano

Yeah, I think if you want to summon Alyssa Milano, you and your hot sisters need to simultaneously recite a poem gleaned from a musty text you found in your attic.


Vic Wertz wrote:
Yeah, I think if you want to summon Alyssa Milano, you and your hot sisters need to simultaneously recite a poem gleaned from a musty text you found in your attic.

Wow. A Charmed reference. :P


There is no Mike McArtor, only Zuul.


McArtor

...

Nope. Dangit!


Grimcleaver wrote:

McArtor

...

Nope. Dangit!

Maybe if I howl?

OOoooooWWWWWwwwwwMcArtorwwwwwWWWWoooooOO

Nada. Off-key too.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Companion, Pawns, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Charter Superscriber

By the power of McArtor... I have the POOOOOOOOOWER!

Scarab Sages

McArtor!

EDIT: Poop! Still, I will keep the fire alive, Mike!

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Alyssa Milano!

Damn.

McArtor!

Damn.

Snork!

Damn.

Scarab Sages

Callous Jack wrote:

Alyssa Milano!

Mmmmm......Alyssa Milano

Liberty's Edge

Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories, PF Special Edition Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber
Aberzombie wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:

Alyssa Milano!

Mmmmm......Alyssa Milano

Do Zombies have Sex drives?....

And...

Inga: WereMcartor!!

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: WereMcartor?

Igor: There.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What?

Igor: There, Mcartor. There, castle

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Why are you talking that way.

Igor: I thought you wanted to.

Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, I don't want to.

Igor: Suit yourself. I'm easy.

Scarab Sages

Dragnmoon wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:

Alyssa Milano!

Mmmmm......Alyssa Milano

Do Zombies have Sex drives?....

When it comes to Alyssa, I think even a rock can have a sex drive.

Liberty's Edge

Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories, PF Special Edition Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber
Aberzombie wrote:
Dragnmoon wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:

Alyssa Milano!

Mmmmm......Alyssa Milano

Do Zombies have Sex drives?....

When it comes to Alyssa, I think even a rock can have a sex drive.

Ehh.... she did not look so good last season of Charmed... or

Last season on My Name is Earl

Scarab Sages

Dragnmoon wrote:


Ehh.... she did not look so good last season of Charmed... or

True.

Dragnmoon wrote:
Last season on My Name is Earl

I didn't know she was on that show. I've never watched it.


Aberzombie wrote:
Dragnmoon wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Callous Jack wrote:

Alyssa Milano!

Mmmmm......Alyssa Milano

Do Zombies have Sex drives?....

When it comes to Alyssa, I think even a rock can have a sex drive.

AMEN!!!

Liberty's Edge

Paizo Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories, PF Special Edition Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber
Aberzombie wrote:


I didn't know she was on that show. I've never watched it.

Funny show....See it....now!

Edit: oops.... Mcartor!!!!!!!!!!!!


McArtor! McArtor! McArtor!


Sharoth wrote:
McArtor! McArtor! McArtor!

...is insane and never going to get his own word curse!


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Sharoth wrote:
McArtor! McArtor! McArtor!
...is insane and never going to get his own word curse!

McArtor could be a vestige. Hey, anyone have a binder's seal ready? Call upon the spirit of McArtor, form a successful pact, and use his power to rule the world.

...Or maybe charm Alyssa Milano to get in the sack with you.

Scarab Sages

Mmmmmm....Alyssa


McArtor. Now there is a name I have not heard in a looong time.

Scarab Sages

McArtor, I just can't quit you.


Gavgoyle wrote:
McArtor, I just can't quit you.

You had to say it.

Dark Archive Contributor

Wait... why is this thread still going?

;D


I really hate that McArtor guy.

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