And now for something completely different - privies and baths


Lost Omens Campaign Setting General Discussion

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primemover003 wrote:
Well it's not pathfinder, but if you can find one (most likely on Ebay or maybe amazon) the Aurora's Whole Realms Catalogue is priceless!

I remember reading a review of that book in a UK roleplaying magazine that was overall favourable, but gave it a certain amount of ribbing for the clothing section's use of the phrase 'everyone needs a good jerkin'. That's almost as bad as the Paranoia supplement The Bot Abusers Manual.

Snorter wrote:

We are talking about the carving in Tomb of Horrors, right?

Right?

Just in case there are any actual green devils reading this, and getting steamed...

Well, they'd still be in a better mood than a Green Abishai used as a urinal - it'd get mighty pissed off. Although I'm thinking a mimic would find it a useful disguise...

Scarab Sages

JRM wrote:
Although I'm thinking a mimic would find it a useful disguise...

As an amazing coincidence, I found one lurking in my area...

MIMIC

Don't have nightmares!


[pun]I think this is the crappiest thread ever . . . (chuckles)[/pun]

Did the Smurfs have any privies?


DarkArt wrote:

[pun]I think this is the crappiest thread ever . . . (chuckles)[/pun]

Did the smurfs have any privies?

Just lift the cap off any mushroom and you very well might find a moist basin full of dayglo orange smurf turd. Thus the name sh!take-- originating with the concept of a smurf taking--

Well... Now you know why I've never been a mushroom guy myself. You'd best check each and every one you get for a damp raisiny core. That ain't no Charm's Blow Pop candy center, man. It's the ghastly leavings of evil blue-baby fey.


Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path Subscriber
DarkArt wrote:

[pun]I think this is the crappiest thread ever . . . (chuckles)[/pun]

No $#!* Sherlock! :)

The Exchange

The oldest reference to waste disposal is in the expert book (1883) with a black pudding at the bottom of a cespit.


I can't believe there are two pages of this.

It's craptastic!

Silver Crusade

speakin of private time, a group I was in were camping down for the night & the fighter decided he had to go, so he walked over to a bush, whipped it out & started to go................that was until a goblin made a meal out of his manhood.

He never did let that classic D&D memory down. ha ha ha

RM


Some fun toilet monsters: mimic (obviously), rot grub, insect swarm, cave moray, gutslug, green slime, ochre jelly (obviously), and the ever popular animated object (DM: "The toilet attacks you").

Some of those are from ToH (the gutslug is from ToH II).


S~!+ that leaps out of the toilet and burrows into your ass?

Maybe that's why there aren't any toilets?


Kruelaid wrote:

s~&% that leaps out of the toilet and burrows into your ass?

Maybe that's why there aren't any toilets?

This thread suddenly reminds me of the s!*# weasels from Stephen King's Dreamcatcher.

Liberty's Edge

Maybe it's like Star Trek. By the 23rd Century humans no longer exude waste, right?

-DM Jeff

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16

Or perhaps there are aspects of a fictional universe we don't care to explicitly simulate.

Scarab Sages

DM Jeff wrote:

Maybe it's like Star Trek. By the 23rd Century humans no longer exude waste, right?

-DM Jeff

If real life became as PC as the Federation, humans would no longer have the will to live, never mind lay a dog's egg.

Scarab Sages

Kruelaid wrote:
s*!* that leaps out of the toilet and burrows into your ass?

There's people who'd pay good money for an experience like that...

EDIT: or so I'm told.

Scarab Sages

Gurubabaramalamaswami wrote:
Some fun toilet monsters: mimic (obviously), rot grub, insect swarm, cave moray, gutslug, green slime, ochre jelly (obviously), and the ever popular animated object (DM: "The toilet attacks you").

What's the name of that fish that swims up your hog's-eye, and embeds itself?

BBBrrrrrrr!


Chris Mortika wrote:
Or perhaps there are aspects of a fictional universe we don't care to explicitly simulate.

"New Darfellan racial features:

Aquachong (Ex):..."

Liberty's Edge

DM Jeff wrote:

Maybe it's like Star Trek. By the 23rd Century humans no longer exude waste, right?

-DM Jeff

Well....if that wasn't the Captain's Log in the Bridge latrine, then...what was it?

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16

Snorter wrote:


What's the name of that fish that swims up your hog's-eye, and embeds itself?

Candiru.


Jack, Necromancer Games in one of their dungeon modules put three toilet seats in the middle of an unfinished room on level 1 of the dungeon. Name of it escapes me for the moment. Rappan...something. There were three books for the dungeon that came out separately. This was in the first book for the upper levels.

One of the three toilets indeed was a mimic and it was designed to be more powerful than the party or at least very tough to try and initiate a chase and fight scene with the party being chased by the toilet mimic.


In a related vein, one of the other Necromancer Games dungeons had a cave covered with bat guano which had become very slick with all the dungeon traffic.

My players ended up snowboarding through on shields taken from a nearby monster. Great moment that, especially when one didn't make it and had to slip and slide to the end of the passage.

He was so "shaken" that he couldn't hit anything in the next battle. Plus the party wouldn't go near him.


Dark_Mistress wrote:
Vaguely along the same lines, I always wanted to see more books and such devoted to mundane equipment. Cloths, everyday items, kids toys ect. One of the reasons ...and a 10-foot pole is one of my all time fav gaming books. But a book from Paizo about the pathfinder world on mundane equipment would be nice. And I am glad they have the topic included in maps, it is kinda silly when their not.

I'd buy this in a heartbeat. It would be a great book for the Pathfinder Chronicles line. ...And a 10' Pole and Aurora's Catalog are both great references, but a real Pathfinder equipment book would be awesome.

The Exchange

One of my Mystaran Adventure Scenarios:

5. Something under Mirros

"I hear ol Vigo was moanin about somethin tryin ta eat him when he went the Jakes at the Broken Mug." Boris squatted above the hole in the ground and moaned at his constipation.
"Damn Drunk with his fairytales!" Replied Yan from the next squat.
"You Know there are supposed to be tunnels dug beneath the city." Boris was thinking they might look into that soon.
"Yeah. Been thinking about...what the...ERRAGGG!" Yan's scream was Cut short.
"Yan? What you Screaming about? Yan?" Boris felt very alone as he staggered forward around the stall to look in on his friend. he watched as a naked foot and leg slid down a very narrow hole. The stall was sprayed with blood.
Boris made best speed for the Tap Room leaving a trail of dung in his wake.
"For Halav's Sake someone find me a Pot to go in..."

DM Briefing: A Gelatinous predator begins eating people who use the toilet or venture into cellars. This is a Permanently Hasted Gargantuan Black Pudding (stats: 8xHD, 2x Size).


yellowdingo wrote:

This is a Permanently Hasted Gargantuan Black Pudding (stats: 8xHD, 2x Size).

Ah, a Hasty Pudding. I should have recognized British humor as soon as I saw it.

Liberty's Edge

Gericko, The module you were talking about in your first post was Rappan Athuk. Which was a fairly old school module that they recently redid and released as a boxed set 'Rappan Athuk Reloaded'.

Its a harsh module though, expect pretty steady deaths in it, tomb of horrors style. Still, fun though(I played in it rather then DMed).

-Tarlane


Snorter wrote:
Gurubabaramalamaswami wrote:
Some fun toilet monsters: mimic (obviously), rot grub, insect swarm, cave moray, gutslug, green slime, ochre jelly (obviously), and the ever popular animated object (DM: "The toilet attacks you").

What's the name of that fish that swims up your hog's-eye, and embeds itself?

BBBrrrrrrr!

The Candiru.

You have to be immersed in water whilst relieving yourself - urinating off the side of a boat or from a river bank is safe.

Would be a good deterrent at a swimming pool though: "This pool is infested with Candiru - pee at your own risk"

Scarab Sages

Gurubabaramalamaswami wrote:
Some fun toilet monsters: mimic (obviously), rot grub, insect swarm, cave moray, gutslug, green slime, ochre jelly (obviously), and the ever popular animated object (DM: "The toilet attacks you").
Snorter wrote:

What's the name of that fish that swims up your hog's-eye, and embeds itself?

BBBrrrrrrr!

Matt Devney wrote:

The Candiru.

You have to be immersed in water whilst relieving yourself - urinating off the side of a boat or from a river bank is safe.

Would be a good deterrent at a swimming pool though: "This pool is infested with Candiru - pee at your own risk"

Didn't Lee Fletcher get a dose of these? LOL

He certainly caught something when he fell of his bike into that swamp in Bolivia(?), but he was vague about what.

Hands up who wants to ask his fiance, if his pecker is a mangled callous?

Contributor

Snorter wrote:
I thought that was the purpose of the green devil-face in Tomb of Horrors...

I thought this too, but then I realized that a lich doesn't need to pee (besides, Acererak's "Lil' Archie" stopped working and fell off eons ago).

Scarab Sages

A player in our school game (1983?) saw the picture on the back cover, and declared he was taking a whizz into it's wide-open mouth (yeah, we were that age...). "Yeah, baby! Oh, you like that...etc"

I remember thinking 'You are soooo dead, fully expecting the jaws to clamp down on his 'meat'n'two veg', and wondering how that injury would translate in game terms. I was quite surprised when nothing happened.


You mean no one made the green face statue suddenly animate, chew, swallow and declare, 'Feed me, Seymour!'?

Scarab Sages

Feed me Seymour
Feed me aaaaallllniiight loooong!

You can do it!

Feed me Seymour
Feed me aaaaallllniiight loooong!

Cos' if you feed me Seymour
I can grow up BIG! and STRONG!


That's the stuff!

Scarab Sages

He's so nasty, treating her rough
Slapping her around and always talking so tough!
You need blood and he's got more than enough!
(I need blood and he's got more than enough!)
You need blood and he's got more than enough!
(I need blood and he's got more than enough!)
You need blood and he's got more than enouuuuuuuuugh!

everyone on Skid Row join in...

If you want a rationale
It isn't very hard to see (NO! NO! NO!)
STOP and think it OVER now!
The guy sure looks like plant food to me!
The guy sure looks like plant food to me!
The guy sure looks like plant food to meeeeeeeeeeee!

come on now...jazz hands!

(ME! ME! ME! MEEEEEEEEEEE!)

SO GO GET HIM! <bu-dum!>


LOL... man, you do have quite the deep repertoire!

Liberty's Edge

I'm not sure whether I'm ashamed to admit, or proud that I saw Little shop of Horrors a few years back as a stage show(and have a copy of the old school DVD of it, with jack nicolsen.)

Great show though.

-Tarlane


Tarlane wrote:

I'm not sure whether I'm ashamed to admit, or proud that I saw Little shop of Horrors a few years back as a stage show(and have a copy of the old school DVD of it, with jack nicolsen.)

Great show though.

-Tarlane

There was the Corman film with Jack and then the movie based on the musical. Both were fun and campy, and you just can't beat a talking maneater plant.

Scarab Sages

Move on up...nature calls,
You got the point
I'm gonna BREAK your BAAAAAAAAAAAAALLS!

(dododooo, dododooooo...)


I recall the adage that you can't have your pudding until you eat your meat. . . or was it the other way around??

Scarab Sages

A secret door to a privy can be found in any wall, with a DC20 spot check.

Seriously, if you always put a 5'x5' unmarked room in a dungeon...poof privy...

Course with the unwashed races, you can just make any room the priv...they just pick a corner...hell it's good enough for certain construction workers...ewwwwwwww...

Another solution is a hole in the floor that leads to an Otyugh's lair.


DarkArt wrote:
I recall the adage that you can't have your pudding until you eat your meat. . . or was it the other way around??

If you can eat your meat, who care about pudding?!

Scarab Sages

If I could eat my own meat, I'd never leave the house!


Isn't there one in the Lair of the Laborers in the Whispering Cairn? I seem to recall its plugged up and lousy with lacedon.


For a long time, I put privies in every dungeon I made. My group eventually started to think I had a fetish or something, and mercilessly made fun of me. Broke my fragile ego at that age.


I thought Paizo had a no-thread-crapping policy. I call bias! ;)

FWIW I think the garderobe mimic is a truly sinister and brilliant idea. I shall have to borrow that for my own campaign. BTW, what about such a mimic sharing a symbiotic relationship with a Devil-Tree like creature that creates zombie-like clones of anyone so devoured?

Cleric: "By Loki's lioncloth, what have You been doing in there all this time?!"

Fighter-Zombie: *moan*

* Cleric ducks inside and closes the door

Cleric: "Uugh, You didn't put the lid back do- OH GODS!!!"

Dark Archive

Mikaze wrote:

It would also kill any possibility of sewer alligators.

Think of the sewer alligators.

I did, but then the otyugh started munching on them. Besides, a mudmaw (MM II pg.153)in the sewers has more of a fantasy feel don't you think. Or maybe a swarm of clockroaches (MM IV pg.28)


Laithoron wrote:
FWIW I think the garderobe mimic is a truly sinister and brilliant idea. I shall have to borrow that for my own campaign. BTW, what about such a mimic sharing a symbiotic relationship with a Devil-Tree like creature that creates zombie-like clones of anyone so devoured?

Why thank you kindly, I hope your players appreciate it.

I've long had a liking for mimics, and seen no need to restrict them to the classic chest when there are so many other possibilities, especially considering they're as intelligent as humans and can speak Common (I never used the dumb Killer Mimics that also existed back before 3rd edition came out). My favourite Mimic disguises so far have been a dugout canoe and a totem pole. I think they give them too big a volume in 2nd/3rd edition - 150 cubic feet is the size of a largish elephant, a Large mimic should be more like 30 cubic feet, which is still a substantial chest (2'x3'x5').

Hmm... I've just reread the 3.5 SRD's Mimic entry and it makes no mention of the chameleon-style ability to change colour they have in 1st & 2nd Ed, just that they mimic *Shape*. That must make it harder for them to fool adventurers! Maybe that explains why adventurers are more likely to Spot a masquerading Mimic (Disguise +13) than a lion lurking in long grass (Hide +15).

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Mike McArtor wrote:
It's funny, but when we put in privies we get people complaining about having potties in their game. When we don't, we get people asking for us to include them. We can't win! :D

No you can't. Let me introduce you to my friend, a Mr. Camu. :)


Mikaze wrote:
Here's a question: Otyughs are sometimes used to dispose of human waste. What kind of waste do otyughs produce?

They produce tuna sadwiches and cherry cokes. It's the circle of life man! LOL!!

Ultradan


DM Jeff wrote:

Maybe it's like Star Trek. By the 23rd Century humans no longer exude waste, right?

-DM Jeff

"Scotty, beam the $#@&% out of me!"

Ultradan


yellowdingo wrote:
The oldest reference to waste disposal is in the expert book (1883) with a black pudding at the bottom of a cespit.

Gosh, I feel old now... ;)

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