The most awful RPG in the world...


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Mikaze wrote:
Modera wrote:


F.A.T.A.L. is the worst game ever. I've read it. I've attempted to make a character (which I quickly gave up on). I've deleted gleefully the pdf. I've apologized to women in my life for even knowing about it.
F.A.T.A.L.'s ability to induce male guilt by simply existing is impressive in and of itself.

Tell me about it. I merely read the infamous ex-RPG.net review, and I had an overwhelming urge to send a donation and written apology on behalf of the male gender to NOW.

Silver Crusade

I've just now discovered Wraeththu thanks to this thread.

I actually wanted to scream a few times while reading Darren MacLennan's review for it.


Heh, heh. If you've never played Bruce Galloway's "Fantasy Wargaming," you have NO IDEA how bad an RPG can get.

Player: "I attack!"
GM: "OK, calculate your current excess Str and Dex for that weapon, factoring in losses from wounds."
Player (some time later): "4!"
GM: "OK, consult the table on page 556 and throw dice according to the equations there."
Player: "I don't understand the equations."
GM (a LONG time later): "Okay, I got it. Roll dice and I'll tell you what happens."
(Player eagerly rolls; DM consults table on p. 559).
GM: "What were those excess number again?"
Player: "4 and 2 or something, I think."
GM: "OK, roll 2d4 and add 4."
Player: "Six!"
GM: "He loses 6 Con... no, wait, make that 3 Str and 3 Dex. Wait, no, he's wearing armor. Let me consult this other table... oh, crap, there's another equation. And if you hit in the arm, there's an equation for effects that I don't understand, either."
Player: "Want to go outside?"
GM (closes book): "Absolutely."

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

Herald wrote:

I'm surprised no one mentioned F.A.T.A.L.

Truely bad.

Okay, morbid curiosity here... what does F.A.T.A.L. stand for? Or is it not actually an acronym, they just thought the periods would look cool?

Grand Lodge

Fatespinner wrote:
Herald wrote:

I'm surprised no one mentioned F.A.T.A.L.

Truely bad.

Okay, morbid curiosity here... what does F.A.T.A.L. stand for? Or is it not actually an acronym, they just thought the periods would look cool?

According to the always accurate Wikipedia, it is Fantasy Adventure To Adult Lechery. The legendary beat-up review of it is here. Read it - it is awesome.


Wow! I only got as far as the part where they explain how pregnancy makes women uglier, but that was enough to be convinced that FATAL must be one of the worst things ever written. Not just RPGs.

Grand Lodge

Gotta love any RPG that has an Anal Circumference stat and detailed rules for rape...


Jadeite wrote:
You can't have a serious Werewolf Wild West campaign when the characters are named Jack Daniels, Johnny Walker and Jim Beam.

Hahaha, oh wow. Actual tears are streaming from my eyes as I type this, I am laughing so hard. My god. That's Knights of the Dinner Table material, right there.

("And you have one here from... Jack Daniels?"
"Wow! He does exist!")

Ahem, excuse me...

Also, I've seen the Sailor Moon RPG (almost picked it up, myself), and yeah... GoO's point buy stuff is infinitely breakable. I'd say this is one place where the move to d20 helped rather than hurt, but that could be just me. And the system's still broke, mind, just in different ways.

Grand Lodge

A friend of mine bought Wraeththu on eBay, thinking it was really a stupid misspelling of "Wrath of Ch'tulhu" or something like that. Man, was he surprised to receive a game about gay-yet-sexless manga space elves and their quest to screw and kill all humans. Worst of all, the eBay guy wouldn't take it back!

BTW, did anyone ever write a good Dragonlance supplement? The AD&D DL campaign setting was so eye-bleedingly bad it put me off DL for life.


Vattnisse wrote:
A friend of mine bought Wraeththu on eBay, thinking it was really a stupid misspelling of "Wrath of Ch'tulhu" or something like that. Man, was he surprised to receive a game about gay-yet-sexless manga space elves and their quest to screw and kill all humans. Worst of all, the eBay guy wouldn't take it back!

Huh. I looked up "Wraeththu" on Wikipedia. Now I kind of wish I hadn't done that.


Vattnisse wrote:
A friend of mine bought Wraeththu on eBay, thinking it was really a stupid misspelling of "Wrath of Ch'tulhu" or something like that. Man, was he surprised to receive a game about gay-yet-sexless manga space elves and their quest to screw and kill all humans. Worst of all, the eBay guy wouldn't take it back!

Of course not. "I thought it was a typo" is not a legitimate grievance.

Grand Lodge

And, seriously, who'd want that game back anyway? He probably got it on a similar misunderstanding in the first place.


Vattnisse wrote:

A friend of mine bought Wraeththu on eBay, thinking it was really a stupid misspelling of "Wrath of Ch'tulhu" or something like that. Man, was he surprised to receive a game about gay-yet-sexless manga space elves and their quest to screw and kill all humans. Worst of all, the eBay guy wouldn't take it back!

BTW, did anyone ever write a good Dragonlance supplement? The AD&D DL campaign setting was so eye-bleedingly bad it put me off DL for life.

The book was equally wretched. If I remember correctly it was gay pretty boys morphing into this weird alien/vampiric/WTF creature where they could reproduce in some odd fashion without resorting to icky women. I compulsively collect books, but this one hit the used book store in about two days from purchase.


Kirth Gersen wrote:

Heh, heh. If you've never played Bruce Galloway's "Fantasy Wargaming," you have NO IDEA how bad an RPG can get.

OMG, I think I just picked this book up at a used bookseller's a few weeks ago. I picked it up out of curiosity and it's right next to my bed, but keeps getting buried by new things from Paizo that get read first.

LOL

The Exchange Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 6

Kirth Gersen wrote:

Heh, heh. If you've never played Bruce Galloway's "Fantasy Wargaming," you have NO IDEA how bad an RPG can get.

I've owned that book since the early 80s. Never have gotten all the way through it. What a mess.


Russ Taylor wrote:
Kirth Gersen wrote:

Heh, heh. If you've never played Bruce Galloway's "Fantasy Wargaming," you have NO IDEA how bad an RPG can get.

I've owned that book since the early 80s. Never have gotten all the way through it. What a mess.

I've had that one for a long time too, think a relative got it for me in a misguided idea that it was D&D. There are some good tips for world creation, just don't bother with the system.


Trey wrote:
OMG, I think I just picked this book up at a used bookseller's a few weeks ago. I picked it up out of curiosity and it's right next to my bed, but keeps getting buried by new things from Paizo that get read first.

The first few chapters (before he gets into the game mechanics) are awesome -- easily worth the price of the hardcover. Then, as soon as he starts in with character building, just put it down.

Liberty's Edge

AIIEEEEE! THE PAIN, THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Runs off to unscrew his skull and scrub his brain with bleach.

Silver Crusade

Vattnisse wrote:

A friend of mine bought Wraeththu on eBay, thinking it was really a stupid misspelling of "Wrath of Ch'tulhu" or something like that. Man, was he surprised to receive a game about gay-yet-sexless manga space elves and their quest to screw and kill all humans. Worst of all, the eBay guy wouldn't take it back!

It deserves special mention for its ability to offend everyone. Women are marginalized, straight men are victims, and gay men get the worst deal of all, being uniformly portrayed as walking, talking stereotypical Mary Sues with sea anemonoes for genitals who write terrible, terrible poetry.

I'd honestly be surprised if there was anyone outside the "yaoi-fangirl" demographic that got into this.

Surprised and horrified.

Grand Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.

You know, I wasn't as offended by Wraeththu as I was by FATAL. After all, FATAL is the game system in which:

* If you are a physically weak male, you are more likely to be homosexual
* If you are a physically unattractive female, you are more likely to be homosexual
* If you are an attractive female, your weight goes down, your cup size goes up, and you are more likely to be blonde

and, of course, if your intelligence is low, your character gains "retard strength"

FATAL is also the game where everyone has a Penis Size and Anal Circumference stat, so that you can calculate damage when someone gets ass-raped by a hill giant. Compared to that, Wraeththu is a walk in the park.

Having said that, I was equally mystified as you as to who would actually want to play Wraeththu. Imagine that first session. "Hey, guys, I've got a new game! It's about asexual superbeings having lots of sex and killing humans, and writing poetry! It's just like Vampire, only stupider - oh, and it's based on online fanfic novellas!"

Man, I'd run.

Silver Crusade

Vattnisse wrote:


FATAL is also the game where everyone has a Penis Size and Anal Circumference stat, so that you can calculate damage when someone gets ass-raped by a hill giant.

I feel awful that the first thing I thought of while reading this was how this could be practically applied to Hook Mountain Massacre...

Vattnisse wrote:


oh, and it's based on online fanfic novellas!"

By someone who calls herself Storm Constantine no less.

Wreaththu stands out a bit more for me right now because it's a fresh and exciting new horror, while F.A.T.A.L. has grown somewhat familiar in its vileness. With time it will probably bounce right back to its top spot.

And by "with time" I mean a week or the next time I view an excerpt from F.A.T.A.L., read a review of it, or dwell on it for more than half a minute.


Mikaze wrote:
Vattnisse wrote:


FATAL is also the game where everyone has a Penis Size and Anal Circumference stat, so that you can calculate damage when someone gets ass-raped by a hill giant.

I feel awful that the first thing I thought of while reading this was how this could be practically applied to Hook Mountain Massacre...

Well, Hook Mountain contains some pretty vile things, but often more through implication. They don't give us a detailed list in what positions they were raped or anything.

Though we haven't seen Nick's original submission, of course ;-)

Anyway, in Hook Mountain, it was a (very grim) tool to hammer home the fact that you're up against really vile enemies. It does a very good joob making clear that Golarion's not a Pony Ranch with baloons and rides. They don't keep going on about "Points of Light" (with capitals you hear loud and clear) just to continue with stuff that is carefully engineered to not give five-year-olds any nightmares.

Hm... now I want to start a petition to make Nick Logue write Pathfinder Fiction.

Silver Crusade

KaeYoss wrote:


Though we haven't seen Nick's original submission, of course ;-)

I still feel dread pondering some specific statements in the introduction concerning what was cut.

I halfway want to know.

The other half knows I would need bleach applied directly to the brain afterwards.

Liberty's Edge

KaeYoss wrote:
Hm... now I want to start a petition to make Nick Logue write Pathfinder Fiction.

1st signature!

Liberty's Edge

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
KaeYoss wrote:
Hm... now I want to start a petition to make Nick Logue write Pathfinder Fiction.
1st signature!

second


Timespike wrote:

AIIEEEEE! THE PAIN, THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Runs off to unscrew his skull and scrub his brain with bleach.

Scoops out his mind's eye with a grapefruit spoon and stuffs it with sawdust. Drills hole in head with a 15mm wood bit on an 18v DeWalt and sucks out offending grey matter with ultrasonic lipo-vac.


Garydee wrote:
My vote has to be the DC Universe rpg from West End Games. Clunky and not much fun to play. Mayfair's DC Heroes that came out before it was great!

I wholeheartedly concur! I used to love West End (Star Wars first ed, Paranoia, Ghostbusters), but this game really blew. It was clear they were just trying to shoehorn superheroes into their "Universal" d6 system.

Basically when you buy a superhero RPG and you can't make a character that flies, shoots some kind of beam, and maybe has a forcefield without going into the "Advanced Character Generation" rules, something is out of whack.

Other roleplaying games I dislike include:

Star Trek (The FASA version) and Rolemaster (we used to call it "Roll Master" - and I also include their sucky version of the Middle Earth rpg)


Aww come on- Mayfair over West End Games? What is this, the bizzaro universe?!?!? ;-)


Freehold DM wrote:
Aww come on- Mayfair over West End Games? What is this, the bizzaro universe?!?!? ;-)

Don't get me wrong, I really like West End Games. And I don't especially care for Mayfair at all. I'm just saying that West End really blew it with their take on the DC Heroes RPG.

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

Vattnisse wrote:
Having said that, I was equally mystified as you as to who would actually want to play Wraeththu. Imagine that first session. "Hey, guys, I've got a new game! It's about asexual superbeings having lots of sex and killing humans, and writing poetry! It's just like Vampire, only stupider - oh, and it's based on online fanfic novellas!"

This part made me laugh so hard that I cried....

...and now my mascara's running.

Scarab Sages

Fatespinner wrote:
Okay, morbid curiosity here... what does F.A.T.A.L. stand for? Or is it not actually an acronym, they just thought the periods would look cool?

Like the guy from White Wolf, who always put a huge, bold DOT in the middle of his double-barreled name, so as to hammer home the unquestionable superiority of his aristocratic lineage, and force us unwashed, plebeian, single-surnamed peasants to never dare question the fact that the game mechanics sucked total ass.

Oh, yes, I remember, it was Mark ReinSPLODGEHagen, that's it...

Scarab Sages

KaeYoss wrote:
Wow! I only got as far as the part where they explain how pregnancy makes women uglier...

?!?!?!

<strokes his copy of 'Bouncy and Blooming'>

"There, there, don't let the nasty words hurt you, my precious..."

Scarab Sages

Vattnisse wrote:
According to the always accurate Wikipedia, it is Fantasy Adventure To Adult Lechery. The legendary beat-up review of it is here. Read it - it is awesome.

That is one awesome review; I wish all reviewers and commentators could vent this much venom against those who so sorely deserve it. We wouldn't have so many craptacular games, books and movies.

This is even more scathing than the film reviews in KoDT (which I fully support, by the way).


If you want venom, go no further than The best Page in the Universe. If Maddox doesn't like something, he makes it clear. With animated pictures (the one where he illustrates that Sony s$@&s on its customers is a good example).

Snorter wrote:

Like the guy from White Wolf, who always put a huge, bold DOT in the middle of his double-barreled name, so as to hammer home the unquestionable superiority of his aristocratic lineage, and force us unwashed, plebeian, single-surnamed peasants to never dare question the fact that the game mechanics sucked total ass.

Oh, yes, I remember, it was Mark ReinSPLODGEHagen, that's it...

Well, by all accounts, Reinhagen (I use Phonetic Spelling(TM) and that ing splodge is silent) is arrogant and condescending, but at least his game is okay.

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16

KaeYoss wrote:


Well, by all accounts, Reinhagen (I use Phonetic Spelling(TM) and that ing splodge is silent) is arrogant and condescending, but at least his game is okay.

For years, several of us, in all seriousness, pronounced his name "Rein-dot-Hagen". We figured it was an affectation.

Is he really arrogant? I'd heard the same thing about Jonathan Tweet and Erick Wujcik, whom I then met. They're both actually pretty nice guys.

It occurs that several games have either appeared on this thead, and then also on the "best RPG ever" thread, or else appeared here but been held up as Important Games in the Advancement of the Industry (Vampire, Amber, and so forth).

The key, I think, is that a good game is not all things to all people. A good game addreses some demographic, and may do so brilliantly, but leave others out in the cold.

So, yeah, if you're looking for a tactics-heavy game light on characterization, Vampire and Amber, and Blue Rose are terrible games. If you're looking for games to play at Lutheran Bible Camp, I'd steer clear of Scion or West End Game's MasterBook:NECROSCOPE books.

To stay on-topic: if you want to read through a book without blood pouring out your ears, you're not the target demographic for Palladium's Heroes Unlimited.

Grand Lodge

I wanted to like the Palladium system sooooo bad - but I just couldn't. I enjoyed the Teenage Mutant Nija Turtles stuff back in the days of yore, but I looked over Rifts a couple of years ago and...buuuuu-uuuuuh! Not good.


Chris Mortika wrote:
Is he really arrogant?

I don't know. Never met him. All I can say is that I read people write he was arrogant.

Nevertheless, my point was that it wasn't my point, which was that the game is good. It seems that F.A.T.A.L. (that damn game wasted 2 seconds of my life because of the .....) is a horrible game buy a horrible guy. Bad combination.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Forever Man wrote:

Guys, guys . . !

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! R U Daft?

The *Worst* game ever (and arguably the greatest, but only if you have a B-movie appreciation for too much awesome) is the late Dave Hargrave's Arduin Grimoire!

Phraints, Technos & Deodanths, oh my!

And talk about a wild imagination that couldn't organize itself in any way, shape or form. That dude was crazy!

Arduin

I think I'll knock one off on old Dave's behalf! Hell, D&D probably wouldn't have Thri-Kreen if he hadn't come up with Phraints first!

;^))

Are you kidding the madcapness about it was the whole deal! It was just so much fun reading his off the wall monsters, Demons, and the Noble Familes of Arduin, that I could barely maintain myself. I never used Arduin as a world, but I mined it for a lot of stuff in mytime.

And remember in the words of the Graf, Nunquam exqusare, Nuumquan exponare. (never apologise, never explain)

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

That one however that beats all of them is... apparantly the one in which the gamemaster and players should clearly be smoking the same kind of weed the developers were when they created it.....

TimeShip.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder PF Special Edition, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Seldriss wrote:

I wouldn't say they are the "most awful" roleplaying games, but these were pretty bad, from my experience :

- In Nomine Satanis/Magna Veritas : I know this one is popular, but all i see is a game for immature teenagers.

That was the name given to the original French game which was adapted by Steve Jackson Games as InNomine. I presume you're referring to the American game, not the original as they were very different despite the lineage.

Grand Lodge

Vattnisse wrote:
Myself, I can't stand Vampire and the other White Wolf games. The system is sorta OK, but the fluff grates, and the self-rigtheousness of the hard-core players.... Gack!

Speaking as a hard-core old World of Darkness larper...

Yeah, a lot of them are *real* snobby...

Grand Lodge

Vattnisse wrote:
I wanted to like the Palladium system sooooo bad - but I just couldn't.

Hear hear. Couldn't have said it better. I tried playing their Heroes game. Making a character was *awesome*, but playing it?

Not so much.


Vattnisse wrote:
Myself, I can't stand Vampire and the other White Wolf games. The system is sorta OK, but the fluff grates, and the self-rigtheousness of the hard-core players.... Gack!

It's always best to ignore hard-core players. Don't hate the game, hate the player.


You know what I hate? That LOOOOSEEEERRR Dungeons and Dragons crap. Might as well call it... uh... Dumbasses and F!$!+!s! Huh huh huh...

Dark Archive

<hoough....wheugh>

raises hand....squeeeeze....

<hoough....wheugh>

Shadow Lodge

How about 4E?

Just kidding...or am I?

Seriously, by far the worst thing I've played to date was TORG. A friend of mine bought me the set to GM (oh the joys of being known as the guy who will run a game) and besides the overly complicated system related to the various semi-time-travel elements, the system had me really scratching my head.

The whole concept seemed okay, but we eventually trashed the idea of running a game (something to this day I'm grateful about).

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16

MisterSlanky wrote:
Seriously, by far the worst thing I've played to date was TORG.

Myself, I've loved TORG. I thought the mechanics were ingenious, the setting was very deep, and so on.

But, I'll grant you, it wasn't a game you could be casual about.


i thought the TORG game system was unplayable. Loved the scenario, but the game play was awful. Just my two cents.


Xaaon of Xen'Drik wrote:

Rolemaster...sorry I hate charts for charts sake....

Phoenix system is up there also...charts for charts sake...

NO NO NO!!!

Yeah, I was going to go with MERPS. I HATE games that you cant play with out looking at a chart every few seconds.


That I've actually bought ... hm ...

TORG was awful.

Actually I know it's looked fondly upon by some, but imo, 'Skyrealms of Jorune' really sucked. It was trying to do the same kinda thing as Tekumel, as regards setting, but was about fifty times worse in every way. Names were twee and silly just for the sake of it, the GM and players were referred to throughout by in-game 'alien' words, and the setting was just dull, dull, dull. Perhaps the biggest dissapointment in my rpg buying experience - TORG was crap, but I hadn't been told it was brilliant before buying it so had low expectations (that were met).

4e is up there too imo and experience.

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