Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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Recently, I wrote and produced the following exceptionally NSFW short film:
CreativeJuices Presents: the D&D PHB PSAs, part 34: Q&A #5
. . . a continuation of a number of OTHER silly joke-movies that I've done.
ENJOY!
Okay...
First, I know know a little toooo much about where Boomer gets his ideas.
Sceond, that looks a lot more liike my gaming group than I would have thought.
Third, everything the dwarf says is gold. everything.
Thanks (?) for sharing.
Boomer, from reading your contest entries I was fairly certain you were the awful bio-alchemically produced offspring of H.P. Lovecraft and George Will.
These videos prove me wrong. But you're still one sick puppy. God help the RPG industry if you win this contest and achieve even moderate notoriety in the field of game design. I will immediately convert to Catholicism and dedicate my life to securing papal blessings for your editors in the hopes that divine grace will deliver them from the madness you impose upon their psyches.
The end is nigh, people. The end is nigh.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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Boomer, from reading your contest entries I was fairly certain you were the awful bio-alchemically produced offspring of H.P. Lovecraft and George Will.
These videos prove me wrong. But you're still one sick puppy. God help the RPG industry if you win this contest and achieve even moderate notoriety in the field of game design. I will immediately convert to Catholicism and dedicate my life to securing papal blessings for your editors in the hopes that divine grace will deliver them from the madness you impose upon their psyches.
The end is nigh, people. The end is nigh.
*blush*
Flattery will get you EVERYWHERE, sir.
God help the RPG industry if you win this contest and achieve even moderate notoriety in the field of game design.
...And if you don't win I believe WotC is looking for a new PR person. (Or at least they should be.)
Your D+D work? yes. Your man-nipples? No.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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...And if you don't win I believe WotC is looking for a new PR person. (Or at least they should be.)
I would SO love to be the new Wizards of the Coast PR guy.
Boomer: So, we want more people to play D&D, yes?
WotC: Correct.
Boomer: Then we want them to think D&D is awesome, yes?
WotC: Correct . . . what are you getting at?
Boomer: To that end, I want to make a movie. A big one.
WotC: We've already made a movie about D&D.
Boomer: Yes, you made crappy movie about D&D. I want to make a super-awesome movie about D&D players - a raucous, heart-warming, hilarious film about how people who play D&D are the coolest people ever.
WotC: . . . Seriously?
Boomer: Yeah. Remember the movie Bring it On? You know, where you're all like, "oh, man, I hope that these girls succeed, because I had never realized until this moment that cheerleaders are people, too!"?
WotC: . . . yes.
Boomer: And, like, in Detroit Rock City, you totally hope that the four kids somehow make it to Detroit and get to see KISS, live, in Cobol Hall?
WotC: . . . yes?
Boomer: But then, like, a week later, you suddenly realize that you, personally, could care less about the band KISS! In fact, if you had tickets to see KISS live in Cobol Hall, you would probably sell them on eBay - and that no, cheerleaders are NOT people! Or at least not the kind of people that you want to root for! They're horrible, self-loathing, plastic machines
WotC: My wife was a cheerleader in High School.
Boomer: . . . good for you, sir. But my point is this: a great film makes you care about a group of people, empathize with them, in a way that you had never done before. Ten million people in the 80's didn't care about preppies in a 1950's New England private school at all - until Dead Poet's Society made them care. Same with Stand by Me and Mean Girls and Breakfast Club and Can't Hardly Wait, in their own way.
WotC: . . . you want to make a version of Dead Poet's Society for gamers?
Boomer: I was thinking more Superbad crossed with Bridge to Terebithia. Think of the last episode of Freaks and Geeks, but with action.
WotC: *stares blankly*
Boomer: Because I want animated, motion-capture 300-style sequences for the in-game section. Oh, and I want to hire Vin Diesel to play a Human Fighter.
WotC: *blinks*
Boomer: Oh, and I want to set it during the mid-90's, so that we can use Planescape.
WotC: Huh?
Boomer: I need three million dollars.
WotC: Get the hell out of my office.
*giggles*
Awesome. :P
Maybe it's my 101-degree fever talking, but as I re-read the sales-pitch for my insane "D&D Player" movie, I actually really want to see that film.
I'd really like to see it too, and I don't have the fever excuse.
Actually I'd really like to be in it.
Maybe it's my 101-degree fever talking, but as I re-read the sales-pitch for my insane "D&D Player" movie, I actually really want to see that film.
I mean, I name-drop some REALLY good films in there.
You could rewrite the Little Miss Sunshine script and turn it into Boomer and Mona go to Gencon ala Harold and Kumar.
Now that would be a feel good movie no one could have issues with.
I was thinking more Superbad crossed with Bridge to Terebithia.
I'm speechless as I try to imagine such a movie...
Are you saying it's kind of like Chasing Amy mixed with Clash of the Titans? Or the D&D movie crossed with Good Fellas. Or what?
I was thinking more Superbad crossed with Bridge to Terebithia.I'm speechless as I try to imagine such a movie...
Are you saying it's kind of like Chasing Amy mixed with Clash of the Titans? Or the D&D movie crossed with Good Fellas. Or what?
I kinda picture it as being The Care Bears Movie mixed with Pulp Fiction and a little bit of Conan for the fantasy.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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Thanks to the legendary healing powers of Jewish Penicillin - because my mama's Chicken Noodle Soup has all the properties of a Cure Disease potion, but with twice the flavor! - I'm now sentient enough to return to the Paizo boards. HOORAY!
Okay, so here are the two main things that I would want from MY movie about gamers:
(1) Awesome, serious action - the biggest reason that Lord of the Rings got made into a series of films was, honestly, us gamers - the kids who have kept the fires of "elves, magic, goblins and rangers" burning for the last few decades. We deserve brilliant writing and Oscar-winning actors and violence and drama and heartbreak, not nerd-exploitation like In the Name of the King.
(2) D&D Players presented as something other than complete f*@$ing losers - yes, I love the Fear of Girls movies and the Knights of the Dinner Table comic book, but I feel like we're ready to take a stand as real human beings with a certain respect for ourselves and for our own hobby. The average gamer I know is intelligent, charming, well-liked, married, with a good job - but if all I knew about gaming was from popular culture's caricature of us, I'd be afraid of gamers.
Beyond that, who even cares? The sky is the limit!
Man, I would GLEEFULLY make a road-picture about me and Erik Mona trying to get to GenCon, actually.
RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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I have fantasized that if I won the lottery I'd finance a DND movie that didn't suck. Like, I'd get a small panel of DnD players and every decision would have to get past us.
FILM TYPES: We have all these scripts we can adapt - not too expensive, and we can change out some of the references for Greyhawk or FR, that will appeal to gamers, but not be too out of the mainstream.
ME: I have a button, and it will open the floor and send you straight to Hell if you ever say anything like that again.
FILM TYPES: Okay, well...it's just that the focus groups aren't...
ME: Go to Hell. {pushes button}
NEW FILM TYPE GUY: Okay..sirs..we, erm...are changin parts of this script and trying to add references to the game that will keep the flavor, but we chose a script for a horror/action film like you requested.
ME: Excellent! So, we can maybe have the monk yell 'Ki Strike!' when he hits the ghost and actually hurts it.
NEW FILM TYPE GUY: Well,there's that, and we also thought we'd have Lidda yell 'Sneak Attack!' as kind of an homage to-
ME: Dude, still can't believe I said that last part with the straight face! You're not the New Film Type Guy! You're all the same!
FILM TYPES {in unison}: We are?
ME: See? {pushes several buttons} Next?
NEW PRODUCER: I think I see where you're going, sirs. Let's talk about an adaptation of Against The Giants. We'll get a rookie screenwriter who hasn't even joined the guild yet. It'll be a fresh-
ME: Wait a minute!
NEW PRODUCER: Please don't hit the button! I really thought you'd liike this one!
ME: SShhh! I do like it. I just wanted to tell Boomer to GET HIS TONGUE OUT OF MR DIESEL'S EAR! {holds finger over button}
NEW PRODUCER: I was saying, the script tells a classic DND story, with tons of combat and great effects, and sets up a whole underdark trilogy. But we won't kiss anyone's ass, we'll just make a great movie that barely references the game. The gamers will get the clues, right?
ME: You might be allowed to live through this, buddy.
NEW PRODUCER: That's not all! We'll specifically feature sinister beholders with 360 vision, and we won't ever reference the clerics of Obad Hai as the best healers in the land. What a crock!
BOOMER: That's right, Mr Diesel. If there's anything you need, you just tell your old buddy Hennet. In fact-
ME: Hey, Pa ZU zu! Knock it off! Tell this new producer about your Spring-Attacking Dread Wraiths and get him a readable map of your encounter! I want him working on the Giants trilogy, the Chameleon story, and the Great Modron March!
BOOMER: Vinnie, baby, would you please tell the guy with the buttons that Hennet doesn't speak to non-Superstars.
VIN DIESEL: Oomph Lellmarma! {spits out Booms' fingers} Jeez, dude! Do I have this job yet, or what? I think I've earned an aswer!
HOT SECRETARY CHICKS, EACH A DEAL OR NO DEAL ANYA LOOK-A-LIKE: Hi, Howie!
ME: I'll say it again, I'm not..erm...never mind. Hi, girls!
HOT SECRETARY CHICKS: JJ Abrahms called about that Deadlands project. He says he's in.
ME: Thank you, God. For everything. Ack! BOOMER!
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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Sorry, Booms!
No, no - Boomer like! Boomer LOL'ed!
Unfortunately, the Boom passed-out cold, weak as a kitten, about twenty minutes before you posted.
Honestly, what I'd love more than anything - and what we, as fans might actually GET - would be cartoon adaptations of Salvatore's Homeland, Exile and Sojourn as setups to a longer Icewind Dale series.
Check out Way to the Mithral Halls, if you haven't seen it already, for a taste of how AWESOME it could be.
Seriously, though: It was the Dark Elf Trilogy that got me into D&D in the first place, and I think that it would be a REALLY smart move on the part of Hasbro to pimp that license. I mean, they're doing a DragonLance movie, but how many Harry Potter-loving, WoW-playing, Naruto-obsessed Poke-kids are all that jazzed about Keifer Sutherland as Raistlin Majere?
/would love to live in a world where Film was ruled by AncientSensei
//admits that he has a certain . . . man-crush on Vin Diesel, perhaps
///would hopefully be a LITTLE more subtle about it in person
apparently, the DragonLance movie came out on January 15th. Man, with there had been a Dragon article about it . . .
/me grits teeth.
/me remembers promise not to vent about Dragon and Dungeon.
$#@%#$@$%@!!#$
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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I was thinking more Superbad crossed with Bridge to Terebithia.I'm speechless as I try to imagine such a movie...
Are you saying it's kind of like Chasing Amy mixed with Clash of the Titans?
I just realized that my LIFE is basically Chasing Amy mixed with Clash of the Titans - but only the really awesome, non-depressing parts of those films, obviously.
Maybe more like Mallrats mixed with Ninja Scroll?
I just realized that my LIFE is basically Chasing Amy mixed with Clash of the Titans - but only the really awesome, non-depressing parts of those films, obviously.
So your life is a Harryhausen stop-motion animation version of Joey Lauren Adams?
Maybe more like Mallrats mixed with Ninja Scroll?
Two of my faves.
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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/would love to live in a world where Film was ruled by AncientSensei
Tickets would instantly go to $12. Those big red 'Go To Hell' buttons are expensive!
I have long thought the best DnD movie waiting in the wings was the Scorpion Clan Coup. While some older-schoolers-than-I will venemously point out that's not a DND story, it has little chance of hitching a ride to the big screen without Hasbro being attached to it, and AEG could still make plenty of money off the asociation.
But what a great, unique story. Maybe David Carradine as Togashi Yokuni
Here's a great question: who would play Bayushi Kachiko? Mmmmmm.
Practically speaking, doing something like was done for Dream Park (remember that novel) would probably work fairly well, if it's meant to cover gamers rather than be an in-game movie.
Here's a great question: who would play Bayushi Kachiko? Mmmmmm.
Devon Aoki.
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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Devon Aoki.Here's a great question: who would play Bayushi Kachiko? Mmmmmm.
Hmm...I ave never seen her act. I have only seen her in Sin City, and that doesn't tell me anything about her being Kachico.
But, if you can point me in the right direction, I'm willing to do some more 'research'.
: }
She's in War with Jason Statham and Jet Li...IMDB reveals more.
She's in War with Jason Statham and Jet Li...IMDB reveals more.
LOL! She was in D.E.B.S.!! :P
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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She's in War with Jason Statham and Jet Li...IMDB reveals more.LOL! She was in D.E.B.S.!! :P
Is that like B.A.P.S.? :)
I mean, they're doing a DragonLance movie, but how many Harry Potter-loving, WoW-playing, Naruto-obsessed Poke-kids are all that jazzed about Keifer Sutherland as Raistlin Majere?
Assuming this is the animated version of Dragonlance your talking about,the general concensus on the WotC boards was it was pretty poor (though I cannot speak of it myself, not having seen it); and according to the wiki, nobody liked it anywhere else, either. Apparently the voice acting was pretty good, but the animation quality was foul and they tried to do far too much. I always think it's a very bad sign when the authors think it was crap.
Poor show by WotC, they just can't seem to make TV/movies that aren't mediocre to outright crap.
And I'm going to generously assume that you were refering to Harry Potter-loving, Naruto-obsessed poke-personages in a positive light. (Or I'd have hit you with my ultimate Rasangen Hyper Beam jutsu, and we wouldn't want that, now would we...)
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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And I'm going to generously assume that you were refering to Harry Potter-loving, Naruto-obsessed poke-personages in a positive light. (Or I'd have hit you with my ultimate Rasangen Hyper Beam jutsu, and we wouldn't want that, now would we...)
Hey, man, I'm the KING of the Potter-Loving, Naruto-Obsessed, WoW-Playing, Clix-Buying, Jr-High-Age Poke-Kids at my local brick-&-mortar gaming store; to them, I exist as proof that skinny kids with glasses, a love of gaming and a vocabulary exceeding that of their football-playing peers can grow up to have fun, make money and kiss girls, even sometimes right on the lips.
I love the Poke-Kids - they keep me young at heart, and their obsessions slowly become my obsessions. My job then, as an Elder Statesman of Gaming (because I remember a time before the OGL) is to make them love MY obsessions.
So it makes me sad that the DragonLance film sucked.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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About the DL movie, I will say that the animation in the film is not quite as awful as you may have heard, or more precisely it's really bad in some places, kinda blah in others, but mostly it's okay. The quality of the art/animation certainly never rises to the level of "Wow!" and even the parts that are clearly "cool" are few and far between. The bad spots are bad, no getting around it, but they come and go; most of the film the animation is just kinda mediocre, not great, not terrible. The compositing of raw CG with cel was most of the problem. In a few places it looked okay, but generally it was a bad idea and poorly executed at that.
Yeah, how's that for a ringing endorsement? "It's not completely terrible, or it's only awful in a few places, and otherwise it's mostly mediocre." Still, my point is that the movie is not just 90 solid minutes of suck, and I think that's the reputation it has developed. Most of it is watchable.
I thought in general the movie was enjoyable. Yes, they skipped a fair bit of story and some neat scenes and details, as you'd expect in translating the book to a 90-minute movie (Hickman just wanted to do the story to Xak Tsaroth and back to Solace for movie #1, but the studio said "nope, do the whole book," so they found a way to jam it in), but they hit all the necessary parts for the story to move. Music was fine, voice acting was fine (I like Kiefer so I enjoyed his turn as Raistlin, but most of the other parts were pretty well done as well). I think I enjoyed Tas and Fewmaster Toede the best... :)
Was it what we all hoped it could be? No, nor even something I need to rewatch on a regular basis, but I think it's worth a rental or a Netflix or whatever your movie delivery system of choice might be.
Now if you really like DL and want to see a great version of it, check out the comic books & trade paperback compilations from Devil's Due Publishing (the first two Chronicles books are in TPB format and Spring Dawning will be in TPB in another month or two I think, and Legend of Huma is also in TPB). The artwork there is fabulous and definitely worth a look.
And I'm going to generously assume that you were refering to Harry Potter-loving, Naruto-obsessed poke-personages in a positive light. (Or I'd have hit you with my ultimate Rasangen Hyper Beam jutsu, and we wouldn't want that, now would we...)
Hey, man, I'm the KING of the Potter-Loving, Naruto-Obsessed, WoW-Playing, Clix-Buying, Jr-High-Age Poke-Kids at my local brick-&-mortar gaming store; to them, I exist as proof that skinny kids with glasses, a love of gaming and a vocabulary exceeding that of their football-playing peers can grow up to have fun, make money and kiss girls, even sometimes right on the lips.
I love the Poke-Kids - they keep me young at heart, and their obsessions slowly become my obsessions. My job then, as an Elder Statesman of Gaming (because I remember a time before the OGL) is to make them love MY obsessions.
Good for you! You just get used to people dissin' on Naruto and Pokemon, when you know Naruto and Pikachu could so kick everyone's butt ('Cos like, Pikachu basically a little yellow ninja in his own right!), that you just tend to assume you're being impuned all the time.
Which I generally find I am anyway (I mean, just because I try to occasionally combine my Tolkien purism with Naruto and Pokemon and lasers all at the same time, people get all twitchy...) I suppose I should note my most recently created character was a Monk1/Cleric 3 completely reflavoued into a Naruto-style shinobi...
Oh, and Boomer, if you've not ever checked out Naruto the Abridged Series (and for that matter Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series), I suggest you go and find them right now...I have a feeling you might well find them amusing (I find 'em freakin' hilarious, and I don't even like regular Yu-Gi-Oh.)
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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And I'm going to generously assume that you were refering to Harry Potter-loving, Naruto-obsessed poke-personages in a positive light. (Or I'd have hit you with my ultimate Rasangen Hyper Beam jutsu, and we wouldn't want that, now would we...)
Hey, man, I'm the KING of the Potter-Loving, Naruto-Obsessed, WoW-Playing, Clix-Buying, Jr-High-Age Poke-Kids at my local brick-&-mortar gaming store; to them, I exist as proof that skinny kids with glasses, a love of gaming and a vocabulary exceeding that of their football-playing peers can grow up to have fun, make money and kiss girls, even sometimes right on the lips.
I love the Poke-Kids - they keep me young at heart, and their obsessions slowly become my obsessions. My job then, as an Elder Statesman of Gaming (because I remember a time before the OGL) is to make them love MY obsessions.
Good for you! You just get used to people dissin' on Naruto and Pokemon, when you know Naruto and Pikachu could so kick everyone's butt ('Cos like, Pikachu basically a little yellow ninja in his own right!), that you just tend to assume you're being impuned all the time.
Which I generally find I am anyway (I mean, just because I try to occasionally combine my Tolkien purism with Naruto and Pokemon and lasers all at the same time, people get all twitchy...) I suppose I should note my most recently created character was a Monk1/Cleric 3 completely reflavoued into a Naruto-style shinobi...
Oh, and Boomer, if you've not ever checked out Naruto the Abridged Series (and for that matter Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series), I suggest you go and find them right now...I have a feeling you might well find them amusing (I find 'em freakin' hilarious, and I don't even like regular Yu-Gi-Oh.)
Yep. My daughter is a Naruto nut and showed me the abridged versions. Crazy but funny.
My job then, as an Elder Statesman of Gaming (because I remember a time before the OGL) is to make them love MY obsessions.
If you're the Elder Statesman of Gaming at Journey, what does that make me? Or, for that matter, Sam Parker? ;)
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4
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My job then, as an Elder Statesman of Gaming (because I remember a time before the OGL) is to make them love MY obsessions.If you're the Elder Statesman of Gaming at Journey, what does that make me? Or, for that matter, Sam Parker? ;)
AN elder-statesman, brother. "An", not "The".
And I learned it from watching you!
*grin*
Again, my point stands -- if you're considered an Elder Statesman of Gaming...
<grinnin' back atcha>
Boomer, you will still always be my favorite priest.
Boomer, you will still always be my favorite priest.
Best part about that was that he wasn't actually a priest -- just a pathological liar with megalomania, and when confronted with someone of authority, he immediately thought of the first thing that he could think of that would give him authority over that guy, so he introduced himself as "Father" Ashton... and then he had to keep up the lie.
Hilarious.
Boomer, you will still always be my favorite priest.
Best part about that was that he wasn't actually a priest -- just a pathological liar with megalomania, and when confronted with someone of authority, he immediately thought of the first thing that he could think of that would give him authority over that guy, so he introduced himself as "Father" Ashton... and then he had to keep up the lie.
Hilarious.
yeah I remember that. It was fantastic. Then of course everyone thought I was just the nice crazy guy who helped everyone. Even talked to me during important meetings and didn't bother hiding anything from me. :)