Ha ha, ha ha
Uh huh, uh huh
So tell me, when you took the Practice Scholastic Aptitude Test, did you know the answers or did you guess?
You rely on gimmicks to amuse your fans and act all urban to jack up your soundscan
What's the matter with you?
How come you rhyme monosylabically?
Is atrophy shrinking your entire vocabulary?
Your style's like garbage cans meant to be taken out on a weekly basis
Ever since your first record you've been in a state of suspended animation
You look like Snuffleuffagus and Astropithecus
Me Cray, you abacus
But enough about you, let's talk about me and how single-handedly I redefined the science of radio astronomy
Making Nobel prize winners question their notions of reality
Oh, but I digress
You always win at Sorry
I always win at chess
Go get some percasets
Ha ha, ha ha
Chorus:
Careful with that mic weezy
Do you really think it's that easy?
Do you really think it's true?
That up above they can't hear you
Mmm, this is really good ice cream, do you want some of it?
Oh, my bad, I didn't know you were lactose intolerant
Makes you pass gas, frightens all the girls away
Only friends you keep are those you pay
I'm always on the ready for the wack snack attack
I carry sandwiches around in a straight edge style Jansport back pack
Got the gadget Q gave Bond, controls your mind, makes you jump in a pond
Go quack quack and flap your arms
Leaves you confused but completely unharmed
Ha ha, ha ha
Both you and I know the past ten years have been rather intense
I'm ashamed to admit I've been fooled by the seductions of violence
People walking around with ugly auras
At times I'm even tempted to seek the advice of Dr. Laura
But I ignore her
And I take a deep breath and count to ten
Ain't gonna let it get under my skin
Take a deep breath and count to ten
Think of all the nice places that I've been
Like back when I was waging peace against the visigoths
I was tutored in the ancient mysteries by a wisened philosoph
Learned the polyrythyms of celestial time
Waiting for the one to come and get it done
And finish the rhyme
Ha ha
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Isn't life a blast?
It's just like living in the past
We go downtown to do our shopping
And we live in suburbia
And I say
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HO HO HO HO HO HO HO
HE HE HE HE HE HE HE
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA! HA! HA!
"There's nothing here to do," she said,
He said, "come on, baby, I'll show you a good time"
So they went down to one of those cheap hotels, and
They got all sticky and wet
And I say
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HO HO HO HO HO HO HO
HE HE HE HE HE HE HE
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA! HA! HA!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HO HO HO HO HO HO HO
HE HE HE HE HE HE HE
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA! HA! HA!
Director of Narrative
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My brother's at the store,
A genius when he's bored,
He contemplates his consciousness.
He feels his hands they sweat,
He can't connect it yet,
He pools all his resources.
And he calls out the insects he commands,
And the waterbugs attack the policeman.
My brother's at the morgue,
He gets up off the floor,
He contemplates his escape,
But a guard waits at the door,
He feels his powers soar,
He pools all his resources...
And he calls out the insects he commands,
And the waterbugs attack the policeman.
He tries to make it home,
He stops to use the phone,
He can't remember where the house is,
But a cop waits at his car,
And he needs his meds once more,
He pools all his resources...
And he calls out the insects he commands,
And the waterbugs attack the policeman.
Yeah, the waterbugs attack the policeman.
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I understand you
You've got a problem
Now understand me
It's your problem not mine
To find a reason, don't ask me
Don't ask for a reason to live your life
Shake your head, left and right
Like the old man who shows up here every night
What does he hear in this kind of music?
Why don't you ask him?
Find out what you need to know
All ages show
You haven't lived all there is to live
How old is old?
How old is old?
All ages show
How old is old?
All ages show
I get the feeling that I've heard all this before
I spoke your words, I felt your feelings
But when I reached a dead end, I knew there was more
I guess I'm just too young to see it
But I've shorn up some people
A little bit older
And they say the problems keep coming
But reasons to keep on trying keep growing
And they grow and they grow and they grow
All ages show
You haven't lived all there is to live
How old is old?
How old is old?
All ages show
How old is old?
All ages show
Shake your head, left and right
Like the old man who shows up here every night
What does he hear in this kind of music?
Why don't you ask him?
Find out what you need to know
All ages show
You haven't lived all there is to live
How old is old?
How old is old?
All ages show
How old is old?
All ages show
How old is old?
How old is old?
All ages show
How old is old?
All ages show
Don’t you ever dare laugh when a hearse goes by,
For you will be the next to die.
You won’t know where and you won’t know when,
But you will never see the light again.
Then a caretaker tall and thin,
Digs a hole and puts you in,
All goes well for about a week,
Then your coffin starts to leak.
And the worms crawl in and the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle on your snout.
They eat your eyes and they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly between your toes,
The worms crawl in and your stomach turns green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream,
You spread it on a piece of bread,
And thats what you eat when you are dead.
She said,"I know what it's like to be dead. I know what it is to be sad."
i find it kind of funny
i find it kind of sad
the dreams in which im dying
are the best ive ever had
I'd like to help you doctor
Yes I really really would
But the din in my head
It's too much and it's no good
I'm standing in a windy tunnel
Shouting through the roar
And I'd like to give the information
You're asking for
But blood makes noise
It's a ringing in my ear
Blood makes noise
And I can't really hear you
In the thickening of fear
I think that you might want to know
The details and the facts
But there's something in my blood
Denies the memory of the acts
So just forget it Doc.
I think it's really
Cool that you're concerned
But we'll have to try again
After the silence has returned
Cause blood makes noise
It's a ringing in my ear
Blood makes noise
And I can't really hear you
In the thickening of fear
Blood makes noise...
I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink.
I sit and tell him about my weekend,
But he never betrays what he thinks.
Can you see the real me, doctor?