Mr. Shiny, hello old friend. I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything but my thoughts are always with my pals on the boards.
I have had an extremely difficult year, losing both my parents in the course of five months. I was put on medication, the type that interfered greatly with my concentration and ability to retain information, I'm a Math Major, this was a problem. I took myself off medication and looked into some holistic approaches to stress and anxiety. Long story short (oh wait, too late) I've found that a mixture of catnip and chamomile tea works wonders to calm the nerves and keep the heart rate down without the buzzy headed feelings you get on the meds. I hope I helped in some little way.
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Mr. Shiny, hello old friend. I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything but my thoughts are always with my pals on the boards.
I have had an extremely difficult year, losing both my parents in the course of five months. I was put on medication, the type that interfered greatly with my concentration and ability to retain information, I'm a Math Major, this was a problem. I took myself off medication and looked into some holistic approaches to stress and anxiety. Long story short (oh wait, too late) I've found that a mixture of catnip and chamomile tea works wonders to calm the nerves and keep the heart rate down without the buzzy headed feelings you get on the meds. I hope I helped in some little way.
Hey, good to see you again.
I'm sorry to hear about your troubles--I know what that kind of medication is like, and I know what it can do to the body. I may try out some of your ideas. Much appreciated.
Missing your second possible Pathfinder game due to your family wanting to spend a night on the Oregon coast (if you haven't been there, just know; even colder and rainier than the rest of Oregon in early spring, not to mention the driving wind with bits of sand in it).
This is definitely not the time of year to be visiting the Oregon coast. Summer is way better.
Yikes, Lady Lena. Please accept my condolences on your difficult, difficult losses.
Mr. Shiny, hello old friend. I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything but my thoughts are always with my pals on the boards.
I have had an extremely difficult year, losing both my parents in the course of five months. I was put on medication, the type that interfered greatly with my concentration and ability to retain information, I'm a Math Major, this was a problem. I took myself off medication and looked into some holistic approaches to stress and anxiety. Long story short (oh wait, too late) I've found that a mixture of catnip and chamomile tea works wonders to calm the nerves and keep the heart rate down without the buzzy headed feelings you get on the meds. I hope I helped in some little way.
~bows my head~ I am sorry to hear about your losses, Lady Lena. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Just know that you have friends here who care and are willing to listen.
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Less sucky than most, but...
...Today was my first Pathfinder game with the new gaming group, including two occasional Paizo forum posters. I was a total jerkass. The whole time. For no f&$%ing reason.
The worst part was that I realized I was being obnoxious, and couldn't make myself stop. I always f*$*ing do that when I'm around new people. No wonder people think I'm an a*&&!*%.
Yikes, Lady Lena. Please accept my condolences on your difficult, difficult losses.
+1
Mr. Shiny, hello old friend. I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything but my thoughts are always with my pals on the boards.
I have had an extremely difficult year, losing both my parents in the course of five months. I was put on medication, the type that interfered greatly with my concentration and ability to retain information, I'm a Math Major, this was a problem. I took myself off medication and looked into some holistic approaches to stress and anxiety. Long story short (oh wait, too late) I've found that a mixture of catnip and chamomile tea works wonders to calm the nerves and keep the heart rate down without the buzzy headed feelings you get on the meds. I hope I helped in some little way.
I am so sorry for your loss, Lady Lena. I am glad that the holistic approach, which I have had both positive and negative experiences with professionally, works for you somewhat. Here's hoping that you get your particular blend of tea just right and that it works for you in ways otc stuff never could.
I still like you and we all have those days I think.
Less sucky than most, but...
...Today was my first Pathfinder game with the new gaming group, including two occasional Paizo forum posters. I was a total jerkass. The whole time. For no f#%#ing reason.
The worst part was that I realized I was being obnoxious, and couldn't make myself stop. I always f#%#ing do that when I'm around new people. No wonder people think I'm an a@!!~~#.
Wow; those years are tough; will add you to my prayers; also; St John's Wort is good for calming you as well as good diet and moderate excersize, works for me anyway.
Mr. Shiny, hello old friend. I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything but my thoughts are always with my pals on the boards.
I have had an extremely difficult year, losing both my parents in the course of five months. I was put on medication, the type that interfered greatly with my concentration and ability to retain information, I'm a Math Major, this was a problem. I took myself off medication and looked into some holistic approaches to stress and anxiety. Long story short (oh wait, too late) I've found that a mixture of catnip and chamomile tea works wonders to calm the nerves and keep the heart rate down without the buzzy headed feelings you get on the meds. I hope I helped in some little way.
Getting a paycheck with a little extra money on it and some kind of financial crisis ALWAYS COMING THE F*&# UP!!!
Getting a paycheck with a little extra money on it and some kind of financial crisis ALWAYS COMING THE F*&# UP!!!
Isn't that always the way? Still, better to have the extra money when you need it than need it not have it.
Menstrual cramping. The kind that makes your legs hurt. >.<
(Y'all asked...)
I second it, only mine mack me faint from the pain sometimes :-/
People blatantly lying to my face, and thinking I won't know. Makes me want to slap them upside the head.
.....
Can I have one part of my life that isn’t TMZ’d up the butt?
So... sounds like we're being evicted. I haven't had a job since the stint at the game store, and it's not for lack of education, skills, or trying. Tomorrow we're going to the apartment office to "discuss options," aka "when we're leaving else we get sued".
I don't know where we're going to go.
So... sounds like we're being evicted. I haven't had a job since the stint at the game store, and it's not for lack of education, skills, or trying. Tomorrow we're going to the apartment office to "discuss options," aka "when we're leaving else we get sued".
I don't know where we're going to go.
Oh that sucks so much :( I've been job hunting for 18 months, but we've been lucky with my husbands job. I hope that something can be worked out so that you don't need to move too soon. Hugs
Being beat in a contest by someone I know... because I don't live on facebook. (Though there's still a few days left, I doubt I can find enough people to push me into the lead)
Also, being talked into entering a "worlds hottest larper" contest. -.-;
Being beat in a contest by someone I know... because I don't live on facebook. (Though there's still a few days left, I doubt I can find enough people to push me into the lead)
Also, being talked into entering a "worlds hottest larper" contest. -.-;
Reason #4920934832 Why I hate Facebook.
narrowly avoided a car accident yesterday.
now i'm all freaked out about driving.
i guess it could've been worse, huh?
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Sucky things: No job, going through a divorce where she won't talk with me about it and I have to move out of my current place soon but here's something I want other people's opinion on.
I set up and run the PaizoCon UK Pathfinder Convention and this year my (not quite yet) ex-wife has asked if she can attend with her current partner.
My first reaction is no way. Am I being petty? What should I say?
Speeding ticket. Need to come up with $177 in seven days. Blergh.
narrowly avoided a car accident yesterday.
now i'm all freaked out about driving.
i guess it could've been worse, huh?
It could have been, but the freaked outness will stay with you. While driving to my drivers test, a truck suddenly pulled out in front of me - the truck was on a painted island - as we were about to go past it. Needless to say I didn't pass the test, and I'm only now getting back into driving, almost 2 years later. So I'll say what happened to you sucked.
Sucky things: No job, going through a divorce where she won't talk with me about it and I have to move out of my current place soon but here's something I want other people's opinion on.
I set up and run the PaizoCon UK Pathfinder Convention and this year my (not quite yet) ex-wife has asked if she can attend with her current partner.
My first reaction is no way. Am I being petty? What should I say?
I think she's being rather rude, and saying no is not a bad thing. The divorce isn't even finalised and she has a new partner already, and you should just take it and have them rub it in your face? Say no, but in a nice way, not an "you're an evil cow" way. She should understand why, and if she doesn't then you're better off.
Umm I hope that wasn't too much...something. It's just that rudeness is a big peeve of mine. Maybe messageboards aren't for me ;)
Speeding ticket. Need to come up with $177 in seven days. Blergh.
That sucks :-/
It could have been, but the freaked outness will stay with you. While driving to my drivers test, a truck suddenly pulled out in front of me - the truck was on a painted island - as we were about to go past it. Needless to say I didn't pass the test, and I'm only now getting back into driving, almost 2 years later. So I'll say what happened to you sucked.narrowly avoided a car accident yesterday.
now i'm all freaked out about driving.
i guess it could've been worse, huh?
I've been in a few accidents myself over the years- the freaked-outness goes away after a while, but you need to be gentle with yourself. Give yourself week and a day before you get behind the wheel again- you need time to recover and relax.
Speeding ticket. Need to come up with $177 in seven days. Blergh.That sucks :-/
+1. Sorry to hear about that man.
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Sucky things: No job, going through a divorce where she won't talk with me about it and I have to move out of my current place soon but here's something I want other people's opinion on.
I set up and run the PaizoCon UK Pathfinder Convention and this year my (not quite yet) ex-wife has asked if she can attend with her current partner.
My first reaction is no way. Am I being petty? What should I say?
I think she's being rather rude, and saying no is not a bad thing. The divorce isn't even finalised and she has a new partner already, and you should just take it and have them rub it in your face? Say no, but in a nice way, not an "you're an evil cow" way. She should understand why, and if she doesn't then you're better off.
Umm I hope that wasn't too much...something. It's just that rudeness is a big peeve of mine. Maybe messageboards aren't for me ;)
Thanks. That's not too much. I agree (and so do others) that she's being rude and acting badly. I just need to hear others express that opinion to convince me I'm not being unreasonable. Truth is that she doesn't believe she's done anything wrong by not giving reasons for the divorce or having a new partner almost immediately after telling me to leave. So however I say it I don't think she'll understand why. (Analysing her own feelings was never her strong point.)
Anyway, I've probably said too much. Thanks for some helpful comments.
Glad to help, and to know that I'm not the only one who thinks she's being rude. Hmmm maybe she won't understand, but the new partner might? Either way it sounds to me like you're better off.
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If it is amicable, then it's probably OK. Doesn't sound like it is, though, so she is just being insensitive. Hey, you break up with the the arranger of PaizoCon UK, there are consequences.
Thanks Cassey and Aubrey.
When we see each other I keep it polite and she always says she doesn't want to talk. That's what really sucks about this - she's never explained why she wants this or talked through things. She wants to maintain the appearance that none of it matters anymore. I don't want to comment on her new partner but don't expect any understanding from that quarter. And she's never been able to accept that her actions and behaviour have consequences.So I've told her I'm thinking about it and asked what she would say if our positions were reversed.
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If it is amicable, then it's probably OK. Doesn't sound like it is, though, so she is just being insensitive. Hey, you break up with the the arranger of PaizoCon UK, there are consequences.Thanks Cassey and Aubrey.
When we see each other I keep it polite and she always says she doesn't want to talk. That's what really sucks about this - she's never explained why she wants this or talked through things. She wants to maintain the appearance that none of it matters anymore. I don't want to comment on her new partner but don't expect any understanding from that quarter. And she's never been able to accept that her actions and behaviour have consequences.So I've told her I'm thinking about it and asked what she would say if our positions were reversed.
Wintergreen,
Adivce from someone who isn't currently, and hasn't been for a while, in a relationship so take it for what it's worth.I sympathise with the desire, but it is absolutely the wrong thing to do to ban her. Is PaizoCon UK going to be in two rooms again this year again? If so, make sure she and her partner are in the other room to you to minimise contact. I know this won't make you feel any better, but if you don't act as the bigger man, it might hurt in the divorce itself as it makes you look unreasonable. No, that isn't fair, but it is a possibility.
Also, don't comment on her new partner. After all, you're the organiser so during PaizoCon you are always going to be too busy to talk to her.
As I said, I'm sorry you're going through this, but even if it feels good and is understandable, revenge isn't the best thing you can do. I'll see you in July.
I did not get the job I was interviewed for. Really had my hopes up... Serves me right, I guess. :(
Would have been my ticket home, could've left this damned backwater behind.
Worst thing is they didn't even give a reason. Will call them though.
Hope there is a silver lining somewhere...
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Wintergreen,
Adivce from someone who isn't currently, and hasn't been for a while, in a relationship so take it for what it's worth.I sympathise with the desire, but it is absolutely the wrong thing to do to ban her. Is PaizoCon UK going to be in two rooms again this year again? If so, make sure she and her partner are in the other room to you to minimise contact. I know this won't make you feel any better, but if you don't act as the bigger man, it might hurt in the divorce itself as it makes you look unreasonable. No, that isn't fair, but it is a possibility.
Also, don't comment on her new partner. After all, you're the organiser so during PaizoCon you are always going to be too busy to talk to her.
As I said, I'm sorry you're going through this, but even if it feels good and is understandable, revenge isn't the best thing you can do. I'll see you in July.
Thanks Paul,
I'm posting here to get a range of opinions so yours is as helpful as the others. To be honest, I'm getting tired of being 'the bigger man' in this and nothing I do is going to interfere with the divorce.Seeing her at other conventions hasn't been good for me but I've never been seeking revenge (some explanation, yes, but never revenge).
I've not made a decision yet anyway.
Wintergreen,
Adivce from someone who isn't currently, and hasn't been for a while, in a relationship so take it for what it's worth.I sympathise with the desire, but it is absolutely the wrong thing to do to ban her. Is PaizoCon UK going to be in two rooms again this year again? If so, make sure she and her partner are in the other room to you to minimise contact. I know this won't make you feel any better, but if you don't act as the bigger man, it might hurt in the divorce itself as it makes you look unreasonable. No, that isn't fair, but it is a possibility.
Also, don't comment on her new partner. After all, you're the organiser so during PaizoCon you are always going to be too busy to talk to her.
As I said, I'm sorry you're going through this, but even if it feels good and is understandable, revenge isn't the best thing you can do. I'll see you in July.
Thanks Paul,
I'm posting here to get a range of opinions so yours is as helpful as the others. To be honest, I'm getting tired of being 'the bigger man' in this and nothing I do is going to interfere with the divorce.Seeing her at other conventions hasn't been good for me but I've never been seeking revenge (some explanation, yes, but never revenge).
I've not made a decision yet anyway.
Paul is being such a grown up :) On reflection of what he has said, it probably is best to be the better person. That said you can be the better person, but your friends don't have to ;)
I did not get the job I was interviewed for. Really had my hopes up... Serves me right, I guess. :(
Would have been my ticket home, could've left this damned backwater behind.
Worst thing is they didn't even give a reason. Will call them though.
Hope there is a silver lining somewhere...
As someone on the job hunt as well, I get where you're coming from and it sucks :-/ I'm sure though that your silver lining will show up. Luck with the hunt.
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I did not get the job I was interviewed for. Really had my hopes up... Serves me right, I guess. :(
Would have been my ticket home, could've left this damned backwater behind.
Worst thing is they didn't even give a reason. Will call them though.
Hope there is a silver lining somewhere...
I sympathize as I am in the same position of looking for a job.
Definitely call them and get feedback whilst thanking them for the interview.You learn from the feedback and it shows that you care about the job. You never know, the person they appointed may pull out and they'll be looking at those they interviewed.|
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Paul is being such a grown up :) On reflection of what he has said, it probably is best to be the better person. That said you can be the better person, but your friends don't have to ;)
Wintergreen,
Adivce from someone who isn't currently, and hasn't been for a while, in a relationship so take it for what it's worth.I sympathise with the desire, but it is absolutely the wrong thing to do to ban her. Is PaizoCon UK going to be in two rooms again this year again? If so, make sure she and her partner are in the other room to you to minimise contact. I know this won't make you feel any better, but if you don't act as the bigger man, it might hurt in the divorce itself as it makes you look unreasonable. No, that isn't fair, but it is a possibility.
Also, don't comment on her new partner. After all, you're the organiser so during PaizoCon you are always going to be too busy to talk to her.
As I said, I'm sorry you're going through this, but even if it feels good and is understandable, revenge isn't the best thing you can do. I'll see you in July.
Thanks Paul,
I'm posting here to get a range of opinions so yours is as helpful as the others. To be honest, I'm getting tired of being 'the bigger man' in this and nothing I do is going to interfere with the divorce.Seeing her at other conventions hasn't been good for me but I've never been seeking revenge (some explanation, yes, but never revenge).
I've not made a decision yet anyway.
Paul has a point, but it is easier to turn the other cheek when you don't really care anymore, and it doesn't really sound like that. Your ex hasn't even had the decency to talk to you about it. Life is too short to hang about with people you don't really like (and if that doesn't include your ex, it probably includes her new man). And somtimes pettiness can be good for the soul, at least for a while. If you don't want to be friends (and most people don't remain friends with their ex'es - yes, it happens, but not that often) you don't really need to offer an olive branch or have her hanging round at the con you are organising.
Obviously, we aren't close enough to the situation to really give you meaningful advice. I'd simply do what feels right for you, and don't do anything you feel you might regret later. If you don't want her at Paizocon, don't have her - you have enough to worry about without adding the emotional trauma of rejection to the mix and ruining your experience of the con. On the other hand, if you prefer to rise above, do so - maybe it will, looking back, give you a feeling of superiority, if nothing else. Just remember - keep your cool.
Things in life that suck? Pnuemonia.
My wife just got out of the hospital after six days of treatment for pnuemonia.
The good side of it? She is doing somewhat better now, even though she'll still be fighting it off for a few weeks. also, the yacht club where she is employed has held her job for her even though she did not have enough time off to cover what she missed (she only started there recently). Finally, the day after she was hospitalized, I got a bonus at work that covered most of the expenses for this that our insurance did not.
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Obviously, we aren't close enough to the situation to really give you meaningful advice.
Getting the opinions of people who are distant from the situation is the reason I posted about this here. I felt that some objectivity and an outsider's perspective would be helpful.
Paul has a point, but it is easier to turn the other cheek when you don't really care anymore, and it doesn't really sound like that. Your ex hasn't even had the decency to talk to you about it. Life is too short to hang about with people you don't really like .
The whole thing is a problem for me because I do still care. So her refusing to talk about stuff is very frustrating.
Obviously, we aren't close enough to the situation to really give you meaningful advice. I'd simply do what feels right for you, and don't do anything you feel you might regret later. If you don't want her at Paizocon, don't have her - you have enough to worry about without adding the emotional trauma of rejection to the mix and ruining your experience of the con. On the other hand, if you prefer to rise above, do so - maybe it will, looking back, give you a feeling of superiority, if nothing else. Just remember - keep your cool.
I found it difficult to keep my cool at other events - managed it but it was stressful. I know that I find it traumatic and that is my problem - her attitude is that my feelings aren't her concern any more - and I do feel that while running PaizoCon UK I don't need any additional stress or trauma. But as the Venture Captain shouldn't I be encouraging people to play Pathfinder? But not at a personal/emotional cost. That's my dilemma. Them being there will make me feel bad and stressed but I wouldn't let that impact on my behaviour or the con itself.
Anyway, thanks everybody for your comments. I'm still thinking it through and keeping your points in mind.
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Things in life that suck? Pnuemonia.
My wife just got out of the hospital after six days of treatment for pnuemonia.
The good side of it? She is doing somewhat better now, even though she'll still be fighting it off for a few weeks. also, the yacht club where she is employed has held her job for her even though she did not have enough time off to cover what she missed (she only started there recently). Finally, the day after she was hospitalized, I got a bonus at work that covered most of the expenses for this that our insurance did not.
Wishing your wife a speedy recovery.
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Less sucky than most, but...
...Today was my first Pathfinder game with the new gaming group, including two occasional Paizo forum posters. I was a total jerkass. The whole time. For no f~*!ing reason.
The worst part was that I realized I was being obnoxious, and couldn't make myself stop. I always f!&+ing do that when I'm around new people. No wonder people think I'm an a#$@&@*.
If you want to regain your reputation, make a deal with them.
Print out the quoted post, on easily-recognisable business cards (one each). How about a Monopoly-style "Get Out of One Totally-Deserved Ass-Kicking Free"?
Then, if you start being an ass, they can pull it out their wallet, and flash it at you.
"Hey, Dave, will you be needing this today?"
That should hopefully be a humourous wake-up call, which beats them taking crap and letting it build up. Right?
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Sucky things: No job, going through a divorce where she won't talk with me about it and I have to move out of my current place soon but here's something I want other people's opinion on.
I set up and run the PaizoCon UK Pathfinder Convention and this year my (not quite yet) ex-wife has asked if she can attend with her current partner.
My first reaction is no way. Am I being petty? What should I say?
That sucks.
My response to anyone in this position would depend on, firstly, is she a gamer?
In your case, IIRC, she is.
Is the Con a regular event for her?
Again, IIRC, it is.
What nobody wants, and nobody should have to put up with, is a non-gamer spouse, deciding to gatecrash an event, to point at the geeks, and say "Look what I had to put up with".
Secondly, is the new guy the cause of the split? Is he aware of the fact she's still legally married? Is he aware you'll be there?
If the answer to all three is yes, then he's a douche, and should stay away. If any of the answers are no, then he may be as uncomfortable with the whole thing as you, and not appreciate being used as some kind of trophy. You can tell a lot from how someone treats their ex, and if she starts playing mind games, he can reevaluate whether he wants anything to do with such nonsesnse.
My wife's aunt is not doing well at all. She is a colon cancer survivor, but seems to be suffering from complications- the thing is we all don't know how bad this is as her husband(wife's uncle) is kinda telling everyone the worst case scenarios and we're not sure really what's going on. Not sure what's worse- the possiblity that everything is really as bad as we've heard it, or the not knowing.