What am I gonna read in the bathroom now!


Dragon and Dungeon Transition Discussion


It sounds funny but its NOT!

As all married men out there know, the only true time that you can claim for yourself, in any given day, are those golden-precious few minutes in the bathroom. And now I learn I will have to "go" without that glossy paged (masterwork +1) enchantment that is my monthly 'Dungeon'. I don't know if I can adjust. There's not a feat for that. I'm too old to get more skill points. I fail all the 'Cosmo' quizzes. The 'Digest' proves that laughter is NOT always the best medicine. And 'Woman's Day' is right out! HELP!

Thanks, Paizo for making the magazine top notch (even when you had polyhedron making me read it upside down)! Its the end of an era! A bit of Americana is fading. What next? Baseball? 4th of July? apple pie? MOM?!?


I know I have always read my Dungeon upon the Porcelian Throne as well. I guess now I have to read more than just the movie/book/culture review articles in my Nation subscription. And finish all the articles in Scientific American, and completely read my NAtural History magazines, and maybe even get to Soljourner, if I can that is.

Damn you WoTC!! *Shakes fist at the heavens*


Sol wrote:
Damn you WoTC!! *Shakes fist at the heavens*

You need to shake your fist at the ground.

Liberty's Edge

Could you bring your laptop in there? ;)

Paizo Employee Director of Sales

Toad wrote:
I fail all the 'Cosmo' quizzes.

Well, I'd give you a better grade if you didn't insist upon taking them on the commode.

As for you can read...

I can think of a thing or two.


Once I secured a series of Dungeons several years ago (i.e. 1-X), I've been kinda OCD about my set. I got comic covers for them all, and replaced all the ones I got damaged in the mail. Not I got an NM/X collection.

I'd never take one to the bathroom. One of my spares, though, they're OK.

Anyone intersted in an old issue #19, with the Deck of Cards cut out?

I swear I washed my hands afterwards.


Might I suggest The Brothers Karamazov? If you only read it on the john exclusively, even bringing it on trips to read in johns along the way, you might be able to finish it by the end of your natural lifespan. And you'll have all kinds of existential "fun".


James Keegan wrote:
Might I suggest The Brothers Karamazov? If you only read it on the john exclusively, even bringing it on trips to read in johns along the way, you might be able to finish it by the end of your natural lifespan. And you'll have all kinds of existential "fun".

Haha! You may want to keep a copy of the Iliad in there too. Just to mix it up a bit.


You can add to that list two long books by Russian authors that I have yet to complete more than 50 pages of, yet want to read:
"The History of the Russian Revolution" By Leon Trotsky (bound in one edition with bible paper thin like pages)
&
"The Great French Revolution" by Peter Kropotkin.

Damn those late 19th century-mid 20th century Russian Authors were wordy eh? I guess long winters in youth and some exile in old age really make one verbose.


You may as well add Mikhail Bulgakov's "The Master and Margarita" to the mix.

However, it won't stay in your s%+%ter long, because you won't stop reading it until you finish it.


Uncle John's Bathroom reader series; a must for any bathroom; there is an article for any time period you might spend in; uhm, contemplation. These books are full of all kinds of random stuff and I highly recommend them.

Paizo Employee Director of Game Development

If some of you are spending enough time in the bathroom to read books and long magazine articles I would seriously consider reviewing your diet.

* This has been a public service announcement from the Unrequested Advice Netwerk.*

Liberty's Edge

It's the only place anybody leaves you alone...

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

Heathansson wrote:
It's the only place anybody leaves you alone...

Well, even THAT depends on the age of your children....

Paizo Employee Director of Game Development

We're creative folk and that's the best we can come up with?

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

Daigle wrote:
We're creative folk and that's the best we can come up with?

You're right. I'm sorry I have failed you, Daigle-sama.

*commits hara-kiri*

Paizo Employee Director of Game Development

Ya beat me by a few seconds, I was actually responding to Heathy without using that handy 'reply' function that's provided.

Liberty's Edge

We could read innards for omens now.

Paizo Employee Director of Game Development

Then you'd really be having digestive issues. Boredom in the john would be the least of your worries.

Liberty's Edge

Hey, I'm not the one seppukuing all over the place!!!
I don't even own a silver wakizashi.


My guess is, when WotC puts out an online version of Dungeon and Dragon, that a hardcopy will still be useful in the bathroom.

Just not in the same way :/


Tatterdemalion wrote:

My guess is, when WotC puts out an online version of Dungeon and Dragon, that a hardcopy will still be useful in the bathroom.

Just not in the same way :/

Did you ever hear that Flaming Lips song, "She Don't Use Jelly"?

"I know a guy who
Goes to shows
When he's at home and
Blows his nose
He don't use napkins
Or his sleeve
He don't use tissues
Or any of these
He uses
Maaagaaaziiinnes"

Oh, wait. You meant using it in ANOTHER different way.


You'll find any of the Complete series and Spell Compendium on the sink counter in my buddy's bathroom. The porcelin throne must afford a +4 circumstance bonus to min/maxing strategies.

This is an awesome thread, and I totally sympathize!


The problem I have is that my kids are way to young to be looking at some of the pictures in either magazine. So leaving them lying around in the bathroom is not an option. Unfortunately, I usually don't take the time to head off and grab a magazine before I go to the bathroom. So if it isn't anything there to begin with, I don't read it there.

Greg


I don't want my Dungeon or Dragon magazine to get moisture damage if I leave them in there too long and someone takes a shower, so my throne room reading is reserved for manly staples such as "American Rifleman" and the latest Shotgun News catalog.

I also used to keep Golf Digest in there, but I don't subscribe to that any more. My golf game is as f'ed up as it's going to get and I don't need any more putting advice from 7' tall 16 year old girls that can outdrive me by 50 yards.

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

James Keegan wrote:


Did you ever hear that Flaming Lips song, "She Don't Use Jelly"?

Oh my god! Yes! I heard that song on the radio a few months ago and I could not, for the life of me, find out who the hell it was! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Scarab Sages

James Keegan wrote:
Did you ever hear that Flaming Lips song, "She Don't Use Jelly"?

If I recall correctly, the girl in question used vaseline, did she not?

Grand Lodge

Ungoded wrote:
James Keegan wrote:
Did you ever hear that Flaming Lips song, "She Don't Use Jelly"?
If I recall correctly, the girl in question used vaseline, did she not?

She did indeed. Now that is one yummy sammich...


Aside from rage, it is actually the issue that'll kill the digital initiative at least for me. I have a nigh-infinite number of ways to waste my time when I'm plopped in front of my laptop connected to the internet, one more isn't going to be special.

I'm *always* looking for good stuff to read on a bus, or the john. D&D stuff works better than novels because it's often incremented into short interesting sections such that a person can read it for short periods of time and not have to reorient themselves to teh plot such as is the case in a novel. I've always made sure to save up an unread dragon issue for each time I go on vacation.

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