This is a weird one


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The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:

Hey Graham, I'm not in the room, right?

NO, you're still in the tavern!
OK, you guys are being attacked. There are thirteen Ogres surrounding you.

Ogres? I've got an Ogre-slaying knife! It gets +9 against Ogres!

But you're still in the TAVERN!

I attack the Darkness!

Dark Archive

Does the gazebo appear to be hostile?

The Exchange RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32

James Keegan wrote:
I attack the Darkness!

Ah, genius! I gotta go find that again :) Just reading it makes me laugh!


Are there any girls there? ;)


I've played in some weird campaigns but never have I played in a Nintendo game.

The Exchange

I havent played in nintendo game until now. and yes there are girls in the game, they're just usually a dragon or half-dragon. we have one female in our party though, but she's a killoren. basicly she some kinda weird monkey ladie that changes color, and she that only one that weve seen so far.

the DM also found out that we knew that his game was a video game, and we didnt even get a chance to blow it up in his face oh well. he said that the raeson he used a video game as his campaign is because he cant think up a way to start his story off, and he assured us that the story would change when we hit higher levels, he also said a whileago that the real story would even start until about 10th level. so i think that we're just fight random encounters until we get to 10th level.

but luckily enoughwe got to play kikai13's game instead, the other DM seemed kinda pissed. he also needs to stop giving off long speeches about why his character does everything that he does and just try to play and not think so long about why his character would do this tiny little thing, like walk somewhere.


Hay Jason and Bradley! Sorry I let the cat out of the bag at the game, I didn't realize you all were trying to save the surprise till I read this board... oh, I'm the human ninja for everyone else... and really for everyone who is saying we should quit this game, any game can be fun if you make it fun, you can't depend on just the DM, a good group makes for a good game, and we have a good group that we use for multiple simultaneous campaigns, so if we quit playing his game it could disrupt all of them because his wife is also in the group... As an example, one of the funniest parts of the campaign came while we were in Windia and he was describing a method of transportation between cities on Rocs, well this combigned with his description of how the Windians (humans with wings) trained their young to fly by shoving them out of caves that where hundreds of feet above a river in a natural landbridge caused us to envision them strapping their young to rocks and throwing them out of the caves to land on our ship which was just entering port below, by the end I was in tears and it has become a running joke in our group. Anyways, the campaign definitely has problems, you two all forgot one of the best parts of the campaign... when he randomly rolled that we met a sea hag in the middle of the hurricane :) Then he decided not to use it mid game, but really if he would just be more prepared he would do a lot better, I keep telling him that.... one day maybe he will listen...

Dark Archive

Hey! Glad you made it onto these boards--lots of cool stuff going on here! It was okay that you brought up Breath of Fire II--he still seemed kinda shocked that we all knew so much about his campaign. That in and of itself was pretty funny. I'm picturing him scrambling through his other Nintendo games, trying to find one that is more obscure...

Anyhoo, I am having fun in his game, but you are correct that he needs a little more prep time put into his stuff. He sent me an e-mail asking for advice, and I told him that a couple of random encounters are okay, but the entire game should not be based on what he rolls on the random encounter tables. I also told him that sometimes, you can make a memorable encounter from what seems random--like the ogres in my game. They seemed quite a bit like a random encounter, they really had very little to do with the storyline, but they also had recently killed a paladin and had some cool new javelins of lightning. That made them a little different from "basic ogres, straight out of the MM."

I do think he is learning, and is well on his way to becoming a good DM.

The Exchange

ah the rocks... i mean rocs. good times. and the next time the DM tries to put somehing like that in his game he needs to be more descriptive. this is what i remember.

DM: you and your crew just arrived at windia.

ME: how high up does the city look.

DM: really high, uh... you couldnt measure it and also the are small children strapped to rocs being pushed off of the cliff.

ME: holy crap! move the boat, i dont want it to be smashed with rocks!

it ended with us sitting around for about 10 minutes imagining kids on boulders falling several hundred feet towards my boat. and then the DM got all pissed off for interupting the game. he always seems to be pissed off at me.


Kosivo0121 wrote:
it ended with us sitting around for about 10 minutes imagining kids on boulders falling several hundred feet towards my boat. and then the DM got all pissed off for interupting the game. he always seems to be pissed off at me.

Yeah, I've noticed that, it's really weird cuz he seems to just want you to calm down cuz you can be a little hyper at times, but he's even more hyper than you are so I don't really understand what his deal is on that one....

The Exchange

yeah oh well... I'll see if i can calm down for the giant ant smashing.

Dark Archive

Some people detest behavior in others that they themselves exhibit. For example, a few weeks ago at work, Bob gave us an hour long sermon about how much he hates liars. As long as I have worked there, we have had a running joke--"Do you know how to tell if Bob is lying to you? His lips are moving." Yet he yells at us about how much he hates liars.

DM may be the same way, but with hyperactivity instead of lying.

The Exchange

thats a good point, thanks for the advice I'll try to be a litlle less hyper and a little more focused. i wonder if theres going to be a half-dragon ant in the cave somewhere, that would be cool.


Hahahahaha, half dragon ant..... if only I didn't actually half expect to see one there, and I'm not saying you need to be less hyper, as far as I'm concerned I haven't seen any unacceptable behavior out of you during the game. It could be like he said, that the DM just doesn't like seeing his own behavior, but I think its more likely that he needs to be the center of attention at all times, ya know, the only child syndrome, cuz he kinda comes down on ya in the other game too and I don't really think its always called for.

Dark Archive

Yeah--don't take it to heart if he starts coming down on you--you gots lots o' folks there that are totally cool wit'cha.

The Exchange

how could the DM possibly have Only Child Syndrome. that just doesnt make sense, he has two other siblings, and he's the oldest, that by itself should make him least likely to have OCS. oh well... and my goal tommorrow is if we use my ship again, I'm not going to roll crap on my proffession sailor check (or my perform sailor check lol)and this boat will not take any water and we wont get hit with a hurricane. could one of you guys put some ranks in profession meteorologist for me so we can predict the storms?


Kosivo0121 wrote:
how could the DM possibly have Only Child Syndrome. that just doesnt make sense, he has two other siblings, and he's the oldest, that by itself should make him least likely to have OCS.

Cuz he's special! Yeah, I think we should make your ship into a land cruiser, or airship, I mean how hard could that be, a few ranks in blacksmithing, or carpentry, a few flying rocks, I mean Rocs.... then we just get our DM to read this http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0145.html and we could actually make it to the next town without hitting level 20.

The Exchange

why dont you tell that to the hydra, and the red caps, and the goblin with the dire badger, and the sea hag. if i remember correctly, all of those were in the same travel.

Dark Archive

I don't reckon that I have to put any skill points into profession: meteorologist to be able to forecast Party Cloudy With a 70% Chance Of Hurricanes today, clearing and cooler tonight with a 90% chance of half dragon stuff.

The Exchange

mabey someone could PrC into stormlord and when we get a hurricane they can just shut it down, i say we draw straws to see who has to get struck by lightning and PrC into stormlord. i think amanda was going to in Martin's campaign.

also, what would happen if i ripped off the antenna of a giant ant. the DM said nothing would happen if i did, but i think they should lose their scent ability because ants dont have noses they use their antenna for their senses. i need to know this because i plan on ripping them off of at least one ant if it would be usefull, and cool.

ooh... what about this, Half-Dragon Hurricane

Dark Archive

Kosivo0121 wrote:


ooh... what about this, Half-Dragon Hurricane

I would be laughing if there wasn't such a high chance of us actually having to fight one.


kikai13 wrote:
Kosivo0121 wrote:


ooh... what about this, Half-Dragon Hurricane
I would be laughing if there wasn't such a high chance of us actually having to fight one.

You can laugh, but it makes me want to cry. Plus, you could have a half-dragon elemental storm, so I can even see how it would be possible. For some reason, I see someone dying today, I dunno why, I just get that feeling, prolly cuz he said that the ants will come infinitely if we don't make it through the hole in time and that they spawn like every three or four rounds.... I don't have enough ghost steps for that kind of crap, so welcome to my obligatory 1 point of damage a round.... *sigh* maybe dying won't be so bad.... and as far as storm lord goes, someone else can do it, cuz once Martin starts running his follow up campaign, I'm going to be playing a stormlord in it.


This thread reminds me first time I played with a friend of mine in his first dm session. It started like this:

"Well, guys, you suddendly decide that Mystara is too little for you. Now you are on a rocket to a distant planet where you will start a new civilization"

Things just got worse from there :D

daedel, el azote

Dark Archive

daedel, el azote wrote:

This thread reminds me first time I played with a friend of mine in his first dm session. It started like this:

"Well, guys, you suddendly decide that Mystara is too little for you. Now you are on a rocket to a distant planet where you will start a new civilization"

Things just got worse from there :D

daedel, el azote

Wow--that sounds horrible. Well, at least it wasn't a half-dragon rocket.

Dark Archive

hanDofthEwrAiTH wrote:
For some reason, I see someone dying today, I dunno why, I just get that feeling, prolly cuz he said that the ants will come infinitely if we don't make it through the hole in time and that they spawn like every three or four rounds....

And also the fact that when he lost his potion of cure light wounds last week he said that he was going to kill someone in his game.

If it's me, I'm going to make a character named Deathevn in honor of Breath of Fire II.

The Exchange

he better not kill me. i would be pissed and someone else would have to sail the boat. he'll probably make someones potion of cure light wounds get spilled in the ocean.


Kosivo0121 wrote:

he better not kill me. i would be pissed and someone else would have to sail the boat. he'll probably make someones potion of cure light wounds get spilled in the ocean.

nah, he'll probably just start giving us potions that only work on creatures with the dragon subtype i.e. dragons and half dragons.....


Ugggghhhhh....... that was interesting, it was a bunch of BS when he started putting down your game for using chapters from Dragon. Oh yeah, after you all left, I beat the piss out of the paladin that was talking so much smack. Beat him so bad that since he hadn't been able to hit me, he took a cheap shot to the back of my head as I was walking away. I'd say that should lose him all of his abilities as a paladin. He couldn't find me at all since I was ghost-stepping around him and I was averaging 10 points of damage a round. His only shot on me did like 12 points. So yeah, we'll see what happens next time. Although, almost falling into the whirlpool was sweet, one of the more fun times in the game. I can't believe the DM actually said "I never actually thought the players would investigate this hole" when we had been searching ALL of the other holes, like we were just going to skip one random hole. Ah well, I got to coerce a giant ant into a whirlpool by throwing a shuriken into the ant while in a cave hanging onto a rock in a raging torrent of water that was trying to sweep me into a whirlpool with a glowing antennae from another giant ant that had light cast on it was in my mouth for illumination. All in all, that's the most heroic session I've had in his game so I was relatively happy with it. That is, of course, until he had his 10th level character come in and do everything for our level 5 party rather than letting us do it, which I complained to him about a little before I left.

Scarab Sages

Sounds like Trouble in Marioland! You guys should head to Pipeworld!

Dark Archive

It actually went pretty well tonight, I thought. He does seem to be learning as he goes, and is improving. And although I don't think that we deserved all the extra experience points that he threw us "just so we would level," I must admit that I did like leveling up my character.

But when he said that there was a whirlpool, I really had to bite my tongue to keep from asking, "Is it a half-dragon whirlpool?"

The Exchange

the session did go pretty well, but it seemed like it was too easy for us. no one was in any genuine danger (exept for handofthewraith in the whirlpool) i think that he and I were the only ones that took damage.

but i definetly agree that the DM is getting better.

at least there werent any hurricanes in the cave.


Yeah, at least he shortened travel a lot, though he didn't have to completely take out the random encounters, it was a nice change of pace. Although, it would have been nice if Steve had been able to get a little more involved since he was actually in town this week.

Dark Archive

Yeah, I felt kinda bad for Steve-O since he just laid over on the giant beanbag and slept through most of it. I know he wanted to play. DM should have found a way to get him into things.


Yeah, unfortunately Steve kinda hurt himself by creating a character that can't talk.... I really don't like having those kinda PC's in the game, its fine for a DM to have them as NPC's, but its just to hard for the player to stay involved

Dark Archive Contributor

Just dropping by to say I've been greatly enjoying this thread, guys. I hope you keep us updated on the craziness of your DM. :)

The Exchange

not being able to talk is one thing. remember steves character knows handspeak, but wait... its some other type of handspeak that nobody knows. way to make things more complicated for everyone. we sould just make him a magic jaw that allows him to speak, i'm shure he knws plenty of languages but just cant convey them.

remember you can still trip underwater...

Dark Archive

Kosivo0121 wrote:


remember you can still trip underwater...

Yep, just depends on how many mushrooms you eat...

Dark Archive

hanDofthEwrAiTH wrote:
Yeah, unfortunately Steve kinda hurt himself by creating a character that can't talk.... I really don't like having those kinda PC's in the game, its fine for a DM to have them as NPC's, but its just to hard for the player to stay involved

Actually, I think it was DM's idea to have Steve play a vampire who had the bad luck of someone ripping off his bottom jaw. Something he saw in a computer game or something.

Dark Archive

Mike McArtor wrote:
Just dropping by to say I've been greatly enjoying this thread, guys. I hope you keep us updated on the craziness of your DM. :)

Hey, thanks, Mike! It's good to see that you are enjoying our hijinks. We will be certain to keep you posted on our DM's zaniness.

Grand Lodge

kikai13 wrote:
Actually, I think it was DM's idea to have Steve play a vampire who had the bad luck of someone ripping off his bottom jaw.

I don't even know what to say... It is certainly a novel concept. Does he gum his enemies to death?

Liberty's Edge

Vattnisse wrote:
kikai13 wrote:
Actually, I think it was DM's idea to have Steve play a vampire who had the bad luck of someone ripping off his bottom jaw.
I don't even know what to say... It is certainly a novel concept. Does he gum his enemies to death?

No, but I'll wager numerous electrum pieces that he can open a can of tuna as easily as he can tie his shoes.

The Exchange

if you didnt know, THIS is the character that steve based his character off of.

Dark Archive

So, no bottom jaw and weird looking fingers. I wonder how we didn't notice that!


The worst part is that I loved that game! Cept for the ending of the first one in the series which just kinda left you goin huh? But yeah, definitely the DM's idea on that one, which really bones Steve over, cuz then he doesn't even get to play a character he made, which makes it more difficult to get into the role, on top of that, his skills overlap with the party's really badly, putting him in a backseat position with you all on the sailing side, and with Jason as the combat freak, he can't really shine there either, as far as sneakiness I've got that covered, so his character is just ok at a lot of things that the party can already do better, making it an even more difficult character to play. Though, I still haven't caught what his class is..... rogue I think.... but I'm not sure, I have a feeling he's a higher level than us as a vampire.... pretty much has to be with that massive ECL they get.... and that was some really random rambling.... I do that from time to time.... But, yeah, the DM definitely explained that he had a cloth over his face like in the picture, I'm just assuming that he actually has all of his fingers.

The Exchange

I think he does have all of his fingers, like i said that's what steve BASED his character off of. also he's a ranger, with no animal companion, and i dont know if he can cast spells or if he's playing the variant ranger without spells.

Dark Archive

I must admit, I'm eagerly anticipating our first battle with a half-dragon dragon. Can't wait to see how he does that one!

The Exchange

imagine all of those stat bonuses. what color or colors do you think he'll be?

do you think that we could make my ship a half dragon? its colossal size, my ship would be able to fly! and breath weapons, that would be great!

Dark Archive

Yeah, we probably could make your ship a half-dragon. We could just say that a near-sighted red got jiggy with a ship. The only drawback is that your half-dragon ship would be JUST LIKE all the other half-dragon ships roaming around his world!

The Exchange

no, my half-dragon ship would be so much better than all of the other ones... because it would be uh... well fine it would be the same as all the other ones.

fine, i'll just get a half-celestial ship.


Yeah, but all of the gods are gone so that means that your half celestial ship would probably take a -level just like all of the clerics in the world making it crappier than all of the other ships. That's why we need to make it into a lycanthropic vampire ship. It shouldn't be too hard, I mean steve is a vampire, and Bow or Bo, how ever the DM spells it, is a Dog or wolf man type thinging so he's probably a lycan, that means they each just need to chew on your ship for awhile and then it will be bad ass :) .............and then the DM will make it into a half dragon........

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