Conan would just dual wield Yyrkoon and Elric of Melnibone. Wherupon Conan would replace Conan and Conan with Conan O'brien and Carrot Top, who, being gingers, are immune to the soulsucking powers of Stormbringer and Mournblade, as gingers are not in possession of a soul.
Conan would thus fight Conan to a stand still.
This is starting to read like a Yellowdingo thread.
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This thread will be driving in 8 years, dude!!!
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Who could whup Conan?
Conan's dad.
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The HULK beats Conan???
The skrull agent on the moon during the Trial of Phoenix was not the Super Skrull, any more then the Kree soldier was the misbegotten mate of a mudworm.
==Aelryinth
Conan would whup up on anyone no matter what. Simple fact.
But is he awesome? Is he as awesome as Gruumash?
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Blasphemy! No one can defeat Conan!
(except Riker, pre-beard, and Chuck Norris)
Damn you for beating me to Chuck Norris. The 3rd fist behind Chuck Norris' beard would knock Conan out!
I work every Saturday now, Bill. Put that in your coffee mug, buddy.
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“He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man. He that is more than a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a man, I am not for him.”
How about Conan's own chin?
We know that Robert E. Howard based Cimmeria on the Celts.
If that is true, why is Conan always shown as clean shaven?
It is possible that the reason for Conan's wandering is that he was unable to grow a proper beard, a mark of status in Celtic culture.
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... a dread wizard?
Nah.
A certain Furiosa could probably do it one-handed, though.
Me, of course. :-)
With one arm and one leg tied behind my back.
The hand on the other arm would be holding a Smith & Wesson model 29 (.44 magnum). ;-)
Maybe captain america can get it done?
Sorry everyone but Conan will get whupped by any swarm of autonomous AI aerial drones. It's an unbeatable combo.
Who can whup Conan you ask?
Who can whup Conan you ask?
Are you talking end-of-the-world type stuffs?
Who could whup Conan?
In Pathfinder, the eidolon of a very wealthy 20th level "chained" summoner should have no problem.
A bad website interface?
Age.
Anyone mentioned one punch man yet?
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Interesting time capsule of a thread. The casual gay bashing back in 2006 absolutely wouldn't fly today.
Conan's an extremely skilled dude with a sword, but ultimately still just a dude. A better question might be who're are equivalent characters (like Fafhrd or Parn from Lodoss War), not who can beat him. Because plenty of characters would beat him simply by virtue of punching in a completely different weight class.
Though now I'm wondering how he'd work as a Heroic Spirit in the Fate series. He'd probably have a whole grab bag of powers because he's done so much.
the IRS
the IRS
I don't know I think Conan would just stab a tax collector or auditor.
ok. here it is. Conan vs. Ripley.
Hudson: Let's just bug out and call it even, OK? What are we talking about this for?
Ripley: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Hudson: f*%&in' A...
Burke: Ho-ho-hold on one second. This installation has a substantial dollar value attached to it.
Ripley: They can *bill* me.
boom
If Superman picked up Conan and threw him into the Sun:
Conan would hang out for a while and enjoy the warmth. Later, when he missed his girl he would cut the Sun in half with his battle axe; the explosion would throw him back to earth.
Falling through the vacuum of space at absolute zero temperatures, he would enjoy the view on the way in and think deep thoughts about the nature of Man and existence.
When he landed he would look for Superman.
He would say, That was hot but after a while I wanted to chill out.
Soon after landing, John Wick walks up to Conan and hands him a gun.
Conan says, "Thanks Johnny Utah. And, Vaya con Dios."John Wick says, "You know that really means `go with God`?"
Conan nods his head.
Asbestos
This seems like an appropriate place to bring up The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.
I haven't read 1194 posts on this.
AM Barbarian is all that is needed.
The new Conan the Barbarian comic book launches next week.
> Conan the Barbarian #1 <
Love that this thread came back.
Within the paradox of being comes the realization Robert E. Howard could not whup Conan.
Mechaconan.