she was away, in a distant land with
Jose and Lupe, learning more about the
lost city of Shangri-La and the secret
of super awesome shrubbery and hedges. Consuela
learned the language of grass and taught
the flying squirrel monkeys to love again.
Then the nighttime came, and with it
, from the east, came the brain worms.
From the west came the space moles,
drunk soccer hooligans and foreign photographers. From
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the south came flying leotards with twelve
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mile long abstract tentacles formed from recurrent
fever dreams. Consuela was undaunted for she
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had faith in her lord Mr. Clean.
That bald, merry gentleman was a favorite
among Elder Things assurring her protection. Consuela
, on the other hand, was completely screwed.
Raging, Consuela shifted into vole crinos form.
Her vicious claws were utterly ineffective against
A juvenile plutocracy made by the screaming
children offspring of the Elder Things and
Ghosts, this greatly upset her to the
more popular elements of the peasantry, who
just wished that they were all home.
Which is a nightmareish place of endless
show tunes and thoroughly choreographed dance routines.
these were considered heretical by the sacred
Owlbears of North Umbria. Not to be
confused with those galldurned hairy tapdancing communists,
the scared owlbears of Southern scardey mountain.
Southern Scaredy Mountain is copyrighted by the
Kel-Morian Combine. Anyways, once
upon a time there lived a
MANGO! MANGO! MANGO MANGO MANGO!
"DOOT DOOT DOOT DOOT" proclaimed the mango
supercomputer, that awesome mastermind who
dubiously commanded the floor scrubbers across the
entire Eastern seaboard be forced to use
two ton mallets and ripped up jeans
to ensure that messes were properly cleaned.
Meanwhile, the architect of the aforementioned messes
took refuge with local nagging housewives union.
The national army was sent to force
Texas to comply with slavery's abolition already.
Or, failing that, to completely destroy the
army of trolls emerging from an open
rift in the local Dairy Queen's bathroom.
The rift really bummed me out because
I really had to "go". The trolls
had occupied the stalls and hired a
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