Often I see threads of the dumbest thing players or DMs for that matter have ever done. Always the optimist I would like to hear some of the most clever uses of magic items, spells, a player's belt for all I know. (A fork in the case of Rudd, Greyhawk reference)
Recently my DM told me that my newly introduced player could have a 25,000 gp magic item to be on par with the rest of the group, but the item would have to be exactly 25,000 gp. Looking in the DMG the first thought was to have a cloak of resistance +5. Then I wrote down all of the items fitting the bill and the ring of x-ray vision jumped out. My character is a mage so I was thinking of all great uses of cover one could have to protect a spellcaster. So now I can stand behind total cover(provide it is not overly thick) and cast empowered magic missile or whatever. It has already come in handy checking for traps. The DM thought the choice was judicious and well thought out. The other players love/hate when my character closes one eye and raise my right hand in a fist. I don't mind the groans the ring of clairvoyance (sight beyond sight)would have prompted too many Lion-o jokes.
I once had an NPC Suggest to a PC that his companions were angry with him and that he needed to immediately seek their counsel and forgiveness. In response, another player told the Suggested PC that "We'll forgive you for your trespass if you capture that guy (the NPC)!"
I had a rogue/mage who wanted to use a clairaidience spell to listen for the tumblers in a safe he was cracking...
And a wizard who used walls of fire to "funnel" trolls into a central area where he could fireball them (a few jumped through the wall; good thing he had friends for backup)...
Gust of wind into the end of a small metal cylinder to propel a projectile...
The possibilities with spells are limitless.
This weekend, I introduced D&D 3.5 to a new player, who had made a Fighter (one of the easiest classes to play for a newbie). During the conversation with the patron, who had just offered the group of 1st lvl characters 100gp each to clean out his castle, the new player decided to capitalize on his maxed Intimidate skill. He slammed his greatsword into the floorboards (leaving it quivering there), leaned over the table and glared at the patron, growling, "Not enough."
His roll? Nat 20 for a total of 25.
The patron's responding roll was a 1. The patron promptly peed himself, told the party he'd pay them 250gp for the job, with half up front!
In the first fight (vs. 4 goblins they caught flat-footed), he used his Cleave attack and killed two in the first round.
Nice introduction to the game, I think!
Syrinx
Nicely done for the newbie!
Good lord, there's been a lot in the campaigns I've run. Probably the quickened stone to mud/mud to stone combo.
Or the one where one player decided he would "arrest" the mercenary army that they were facing, which the army, of course scoffed at. One truenamer utterance, one electrical deluge, and one wildshaped-druid-into-dragon later, the army willingly surrendered.
Or the thunderstone down the iron golem's gullet.
The most clever use of a severed arm was to start a bar fight in Diamond Lake's Feral Dog tavern. One failed intimidate check lead the severed arm of the late Skutch to bounce off the table and onto the floor, where a stray dog promptly grabbed it and ran off. The only remark was a sad Merovinn Bask saying,"He was my only friend." Then the fight was on. Clever players. Clever, clever players.
My paladin had gotten separated from his companion, and was "somewhat" lost in an arctic tundra, when he was attacked by a wraith! A couple of unlucky rolls later, and I was running out of options. It was time to make my escape as best as I could. So, I took a 5 foot step back, reached into my robe of useful items, and threw down... a donkey. Yay distractions!
TK
Well, I don't know if this qualifies as a "most clever use" because it'll likely never happen again AND it was a last ditch effort at survival, but, here goes....
Background info: I was playing a gold-elf Bladesinger from Evermeet who had created his own arcane nexus (Quintessential Wizard) and one of its abilities was to make me practically immune to my own magic. Also, we had a gamer with us who was only sitting in for this one session, so our DM let him play a black dragon (in disguise) to add a little twist to the campaign.
Well, during a battle, I got stuck outside a castle while everyone else was fighting inside. First I got surrounded by ogres and was fighting for my life, then someone used an orb of dragon-kind and made the black dragon change and attack me. Also, just as he came into view, one of the ogres cut my arm off! So, since I figured I was dead anyway (and so did everyone else, DM included) I dropped a fireball centred on me (the nice thing about bladesingers is one-handed casting), which killed one or two ogres and dropped enough hit points off the others that they fled. By this point I had almost no spells left and certainly nothing to beat away a dragon. After looking through the spells I still had left, I picked the only spell that I thought even had a chance of helping me... Phantasmal Killer! After the laughs and groans died down, the player roled his saving throws.. he rolled a 2 on his Will save which made him miss the DC by 2 points or something, then on his Fortitude, he rolled a natural 1! It took almost 5 minutes for everyone to realize that a half-dead, one-armed elf just pointed at the dragon and IT dropped dead. Needless to say, it was a defining moment for that character.
So, for everyone else out there, remember, the only useless spells are those you don't cast.
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Well, I don't know if this qualifies as a "most clever use" because it'll likely never happen again AND it was a last ditch effort at survival, but, here goes....
Background info: I was playing a gold-elf Bladesinger from Evermeet who had created his own arcane nexus (Quintessential Wizard) and one of its abilities was to make me practically immune to my own magic. Also, we had a gamer with us who was only sitting in for this one session, so our DM let him play a black dragon (in disguise) to add a little twist to the campaign.
Well, during a battle, I got stuck outside a castle while everyone else was fighting inside. First I got surrounded by ogres and was fighting for my life, then someone used an orb of dragon-kind and made the black dragon change and attack me. Also, just as he came into view, one of the ogres cut my arm off! So, since I figured I was dead anyway (and so did everyone else, DM included) I dropped a fireball centred on me (the nice thing about bladesingers is one-handed casting), which killed one or two ogres and dropped enough hit points off the others that they fled. By this point I had almost no spells left and certainly nothing to beat away a dragon. After looking through the spells I still had left, I picked the only spell that I thought even had a chance of helping me... Phantasmal Killer! After the laughs and groans died down, the player roled his saving throws.. he rolled a 2 on his Will save which made him miss the DC by 2 points or something, then on his Fortitude, he rolled a natural 1! It took almost 5 minutes for everyone to realize that a half-dead, one-armed elf just pointed at the dragon and IT dropped dead. Needless to say, it was a defining moment for that character.So, for everyone else out there, remember, the only useless spells are those you don't cast.
I will never hear the end of this.
I was DMing and the halfling went on a solo mission of theft. The next morning the guards found his room at the inn and were coming to arrest him. He recognized the sound of booted feet right away and made a bolt for the end of the hall just as they saw him. The thief thought to jump out of the second story window, but it had iron gridwork! Wand of Scorching Ray to the rescue! Down he jumps, landing just outside the stables. He grabbed a light horse and, though a size smaller than its normal rider, managed to make it go. Away from the inn he shoots!
Well, that's all well and dandy, right out to the town gates. Uh oh, archers and a guard on foot. Well, the thief takes his chances with the archers and manages not to become a pin cushion, but that leave the halberd-wielding footman. As I remember, he lept off the horse, veering it before he did so to avoid it becoming impaled on the guard's weapon, then dashed up to the guard and pulled out the sunrod he happened to have. With an impressive series of rolls, he grabbed the guard's mail shirt, scrambled up his person, and shoved the sunrod into the helmet, right in front of the guard's eyes, blinding him! Beneath the guard towers (thus, out of line of fire from the archers), the halfling grabbed the horse again and rode out before the archers could figure out where he was again. He rode off into the mountains, never heard from again.
That was Sexi Golem's character. I can't count how many times I've seen similar amazing, desparate chases with his characters, whether in D&D or in games like Morrowind and Oblivion (including a chase that literally went across Cyrodiil TWICE OVER, and he got away!)
I once had a player that decided to break into the cruel king's castle... in order to look for any princesses that might be locked up (and hence lonely). Suffice it to say that fireballs are great getaway distractions, ESPECIALLY if you don't actually throw them near anyone.
My first character ever was, of all things, a Half-Elven Bard in Eberron. We were on our way down to Xendrik for some mission or another (one of the published adventures, I think,) and after being attacked by a bunch of sahuagin and a shark, our ship pulled up on an island for some quick repairs. The sahuagin followed us out onto the island, and demanded a tribute (bribe) for our safe passage.
So, I have a quick whispered conversation with the Druid (who happened to have a Masterwork Scimitar made of crystal that he hadn't gotten around to selling), and while the Sahuagin are busy speaking with the captain and the Paladin, I cast Nystul's Magic Aura, followed by Light, and respectfully hand the "+1 Keen Scimitar" whose powers I had just awoken to the Sahuagin's spokesperson. We were free to go, because it was obviously a magic sword of great value. I still chuckle anytime I think about the sahuagin's rage when the sword stopped radiating magic.
...buying people drinks, diplomacy, sleight of hand, prestigitation, and lesser confusion...
In the ghostwalk campaign I'm running, I have a gnome bard.
This bard is probably far more roguish than the rogue/ranger in the party.
He's going to be leaving manifest for Donaree on adventure and to get more money, but before he leaves, he performs at a certain bustling tavern in the Portal Ward, and does his goodbye concert. He easily earns 1000 gp during the night, 400 of which goes to the bar...for their take and because he tried to steal an employee's coinpurse and got caught, but managed his diplomacy roles to not get turned in...
Anyway, he decides, as a going-away present, grateful for his payment, to buy EVERYONE in the tavern, all 89 individuals (he was number 90) 6 drinks, enough to sufficiently get them drunk. To do this, he drops 200 gp.
EVERYONE fails their fort saves, not that I rolled them 89 times, but I rolled enough, thus I used the rules for getting drunk- resulting in -2 strength, -4 dex, -4 wisdom for 89 individuals.
Well, he decides to perform another song and to give a speech or something, and makes a diplomacy check on the crowd, and well exceeds the DC to make them Helpful. they tip him an additional 500 gp. (note the next portion)
Now, since everyone is drunk and their wisdom scores are lowered by 2 points, and the average wisdom score is still going to be 10 -2 for 8, everyone fails their spot checks on what he does next...
He performs a MASS sleight of hand check, this effectively allows him to get into a 4 way group hug kinda action, perhaps over and over again- I forget if he actually stole gold, but he wasn't trying to...
He was trying to steal items, and he succeeded (I believe I rolled percentile to see if they would be magical or not).
I tell him he can manage to get his mits on a total of 4 items, but performed additional sleight of hand rolls to confirm, even the pixie who doesn't imbibe necessarily didn't notice (I think she rolled like a 2), then, of course, with the last item he has to make a choice between a necklace and a chain/amulet...naturally he chooses both, but I make him earn both.
He performs a song and casts prestidigitation to distract the wearer of the necklace. Afterwards, he rather stumbly casts Lesser Confusion on the guy with the chain around his neck...
Naturally the guy attacks someone else, and the Gnome, pretending to intervene- and presumably jumps- snatches the chain from the person's neck and hightails it out of there.
I think I'm going to switch the necklace with a lesser magic item, but the haul was still worth, including gold and gems (yes 300 gp of either what he stole or what was given was in gems), oh, about 30,000 gp.
Needless to say, the bard character pretty much cares only about money, and maybe performing as a bard and such.
He's also a few pounds heavier, and I more than suggested that he consider purchasing with his somewhat ill-gotten gains a bag of holding. (partly so that someone in the party has one, partly to keep him from being encumbered)
And this was just at the last session.
Director of Game Development
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...or tools. Back in 2nd edition I had a rogue *erm* thief, that had a penchant for tools. He had a couple of saws, some pliers, hammer, spikes, nails, hand drill, a vise, some rope, chain, and some files in a bag of holding stuffed in his satchel. They came in handy for doors that he couldn't pick and adding to his removal of traps.
In one adventure where the party was taking out a vampire holed up in a castle with his minions, the group had killed most of the minions and the vampire kept picking on us and then getting away. Eventually the wizard found that the vampire's sleeping place was at the top of the tallest tower in the complex (why I have _no_ idea!). So I make all my climb checks to get to the top of the tower on the outside and then begin to perforate the ceiling of the tower with the hand drill until a large enough hole was made to start using the saw, eventually opening a large enough hole so that the sun would shine onto the coffin. When that time came I hopped down there and pryed the damned thing open. Of course I couldn't have done it without the rest of the crew.
Well back in 2nd Ed i was a 13-15 level Wizard... cant remeber when this happened but my party got attacked by a black dragon and it wiped all of us out... except me.. thing had 80% of its HP left and me allmost out of spells... *house rule* any "Personal" spell can be cast on an unwilling creture if it fails a basic save
I cast blink on the dragon.. failed its Save and SR check.. then cast it again on myself ... you can imagin how hard it was for us to hit each other... god i love you blink spell....
Well back in 2nd Ed i was a 13-15 level Wizard... cant remeber when this happened but my party got attacked by a black dragon and it wiped all of us out... except me.. thing had 80% of its HP left and me allmost out of spells... *house rule* any "Personal" spell can be cast on an unwilling creture if it fails a basic save
I cast blink on the dragon.. failed its Save and SR check.. then cast it again on myself ... you can imagin how hard it was for us to hit each other... god i love you blink spell....
PHB II has a spell in it called baleful blink, 4th level wiz/sorc that I am sure you would enjoy.
The cheesiest/innovative use of a spell in a 3.5 D&D game that I witnessed was a player who had his wizard cast Explosive Runes many times to get them on several parchments which he then attached to a 10 ft. blanket. He gives a wand of dispel magic to a rogue. Have them ready an action to use the wand. When he teleports or using any number of spells to deposit the blanket of explosive runes next to a creature (within 5 ft, the creature read it), the pc with the wand uses it to attempt to dispel the explosive runes, only to fail since even if they roll a natural 20, it is still not high enough to successfully dispel the wizard's magic. So the runes automatically go off. The poor target gets hit by numerous explosive runes with NO save (as per the description of Explosive Runes). It's a simple 3rd level spell and this guy used it to take out a demon with over 30 HD with one shot. Nifty.
CB out.