Photos? *puzzled look* Oh! ya mean muh Polaroids! Nah, caint sort nuthin out cheer. Gottan take 'em to the drug store for developin furst. Be bout a week, Ah guess.
But, if y'all think it's that importunt, go on ahead and get the rok sahlt.
*looks at watch*
Well, guess Ah best be getting back to the office. No telling what kinda trouble the Boone twins have got into since Ah been gone. Whatversome y'all do wit dem hippies, jes don't leave no evidense..ya hear?
*saunters back to patrol car and rolls into the sunset*
Don' worry thare, Tegan. Thet zombeh wasn't oglin the pretty lady on theh tellavision, he wuz jus' thinkin' about what he'd lahk to have fer supper.
Oh, wahl don't that jus make me look like a shriner in a minicar.
*A strange little man, some reconize as a dwarf santers up carring a shotgun in his right hand and an waraxe in his left*
Howdy yall i bee hearin that yall got sumthin ofa hippie problem. Id bee willin to sulve it fur sum of that there Texas chilli anda coupla them cold brews. that beein if yall aint gotcha a workin still fur sumthin stronger.
wahl findgya a place ta sit & hep yorsef to some ah that Texas Chili. If we kin find our friendly effreit he's around by tha grill somewhars I magin he'd cook ya up some Barbie Q. We got's beer here *hands little man a jar of clear liquid* and some fahrwater.
*The dwarf walks up to the porch, leans his axe and shotgun against the edge. Then hops up and sits down one the porch next to them. Then he takes big gulp of the clear liquid, followed by 3 huge spoonfuls of the chili.*
Now that thare aint to bad. igot nice full flaver, mmmm good cutomeat. bout the unly thin it need isa little moor spice. Shore like this here fahrwater. Yall shore is sum friendliest kind o peeple I did ever meet. Now where is them damn hoopin and hollerin, grass smokin runnin freely willie neely hippies?
*Finishes of the bowl of chili and the clear liquid. Wipes face of with the back of his sleeve. Lets out one the loudest and longest burps heard in these parts for a very long time. Easily one of the best 3 of all time.*
Scuse me it aint bad mannors is gest good food.
Heathy, if grain is lahk tha culur, then wut do you magin waylcum is?
Whew, Ah wuz wurid thar fer a minut.
mmmm
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Ah dun made it into a magazine! Ah do believe them Paizo fellers dun quoted me in Dragon. Et saiz raht thare, on page 4, "Hey you kids, get off my lawn!" Ah nearly fell outta meh outhouse when Ah read that. It's jes whut Ah saiz when Ah'm a-yellin at hippies.
Speakin a which...
Get off meh properteh y'all worthless hippies! Y'all got three seconds afore Ah starts shootin, an' Ah don't count so good so who rilly knows haw long thet's a-gonna be.
*Everyone hears Tegan yell*
THRAY!
*she comenses ta shootin*
Har's some salt fer yer wounds!
(see, said it in under 8 words during combat! WHOOT)
Hay, I fixed up a hot tub in tha bed ah that truck that don't run. Found an ole tarp and stuck it in thar. It's holdin tha water purty good.
Well now, I gots the pork rib roast all pulled and dis smoked Turkey an dis purty lil ham got all rested so I'z cut et up; got some new sauce fer each made from da drippins en it already be in da pulled pork o course; but got it hear ta paint and slop on. Dat beef brisket still gonna be takin a bit tho; ah, dat dit was nice n warm jez lake my mammies homefront purt near reachin two hunart degrees give er take prolly a bit much fer you soft skinned folkes. hehe some peeps I hear (shudders in horror) have dem walk in freezer types; me, I gots me a walk in smoker :)
*looks around* hmm, some deez beer kegs be gettin low n we be needin som mur rolls n watnot side viddles *snaps his fingers to refill the kets, open containers, coolers, rolls, slaw, salads, snack veggies n chips *
Sides be unim port tant; so ifn yall want sometim special; hehe we can talk at each other n come to an arrangement, but I never, say never, cheat the meat.
oh, n da beans r done; gots me a special hand me down recipe been round deez parts fer a coons age den some; called Katies Pioneer Beans (a RL recipe in the James Beard Cookbook I love); dig in an git you a heap; ring dat triangle; Come N Git It.
hmm, Hot Tub.....hehe I gits in dat n well be sitting oneadas either steam bath r sauna; but I suppose I could use abit o cleaning up n it sure looks like I could sit a spell n soak.
yep...
I agree; dat grass sure be growing high; is darn near 80 degrees outside my place raight na, but da pollen count be off da scale so we all a weezen n sneezen.
...
sho nuff
Aight ma grass, be belongin to da cityfolk, dat n all dat ragweed *achoe*; ifn I waits a bit I be guessin dat dem hippies will cut, dry n try ta mix it wit der dried bannana peals n roll n burn it. Funny thing tho; dey dont seem ta bbq; all I been seein dem eat is rabbit food n da dudes sneakin away fer cans o spam.
now dem volleyballers oer der; ah, dey sweet as a dream; sometimes I wonder if any da rest o you kin seez em; diggin, bouncing; hittin, divin, teamwork; sweat; lourdy lourdy; that be a sight to behold not that silliness at da end of some show I seen on dat tv contraption somebody set up round back dat had some Man Show thang with girls on trampel leans; I dont be understand dat at all.
sho nuffThe Shogun of Harlem.
Yah, me n mister Nuff were just standing here enacting a business transaction when this guy broke in here and....
hehe dat Barry Gordy; nice senso humor.
... -sniff- why does it smell like hummus in here? <_<
well, good thing i brought my banjo then... -ding ding ah ling ding dong-
its uh.... one of them camo banjos, ya thats the ticket... <_< ya know, so the varmits don't see you playin it
*After apperantley spacing out for a bit, the dwarf stands up. Picks up his shotgun, double checks to make sure its loaded, then picks up his axe*
Weeeeeeelll now that yall ben kindanuff to let me eat and rest here on yore porch it be timenuff fer me to ghet to tha job me ben paid fer
*Runs off towards to where the hippies are, Several gunshots and screams can be heard*