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3.5/d20/OGL

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*radio crackles*

"Repeating this advisory from the Office of Emergency Preparedness. The dead are being reactivated by forces unknown. The bodies are weak and uncoordinated - but are capable of inflicting damage on people and property. They are to be considered extremely dangerous, especially in large numbers. These can be disposed of only by incapacitating the brain. These reactivated bodies will attack warm-blooded animals of all species without provocation, and will devour the flesh. Acts of homicide and cannibalism reported through the afternoon are contributable, at least in part, to these reactivated bodies.

We now rejoin our regularly scheduled program."

Scarab Sages

Larry Lichman wrote:
Thet Kobaldt feller IZ a necromansererer. Sorta.

Yeah, ah herd he do sum raht terruhble things ta dead folk whut cain't fight back. Tain't natchrul.


Ahm covrin m'ears. Caint stannit whin th'talk gits all sooty.


*two human zombies emerge and shuffle slowly towards the porch*


Aber! Sumuh yer kinfolks is stopped by.

Think ah mite go set in m'tree furuh spell.

Scarab Sages

Ayup, muh kin lahk ta shuffle on by fer uh spell sumtimes. Don't pay um no mind - thar harmluss, ah swar!


Zombies: BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINSSSSSSSESSSSSSSSS!

Scarab Sages

veector wrote:
Zombies: BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINSSSSSSSESSSSSSSSS!

Whut're ya doin? Makin fun uh muh kin folk? Izzat it? G*$$#@n hippeh! Ah got uh good mind ta whallop yer head. Tain't raht. They ain't dun diddly ta ya, an thar ya go mockin em. G+~@%@n hippeh!


Aber's right. Ain't nivir seen a zombie yit cain't prnounce "brains." Sorta thir speshiality an whatnot.

Scarab Sages

Ayup.


*The zombies try to move onto the porch, but stumble on the steps. They fall to the ground and begin writhing around gurgling.*


Well, damn, I wuz agoin ta bring over som a ma moonshine, but looks like yew don needs any! Howdy, charlie, scuse me while I step over ya. Anyhoo, the missus put the still backs together, an so longs as I members ta put ma pipe out round those parts, we got all the liquer we can drink!

Scarab Sages

veector wrote:
*The zombies try to move onto the porch, but stumble on the steps. They fall to the ground and begin writhing around gurgling.*

Dang it hippeh! Ain't ya got no respect fer uh fellas kin folk! Howd ya lahk it if'n ah started rahtin nasty stuff bout yerselfs kin? Don't make me git out muh shotgun!

Korgoth wrote:
Howdy, charlie, scuse me while I step over ya.

Dang Korgoth! Howd ya knowed muh pappy's name wuz Charlie? Ya'll ain't nevuh met afore.


I comes back and looks whats happening? What is with pictures next to names?


Wal, I reckon ivvybuddy roun these parts knows Charlie, jess it ain't plite tuh say so til yuh bin interduced properlike. Whichis tuh say, ah cain't rightly say ahm acquainted with thet feller thar. Thuh key tuh being plite, mah granmaw told me, is knowin when tuh not know thuh things yuh know.


Trey wrote:
Wal, I reckon ivvybuddy roun these parts knows Charlie, jess it ain't plite tuh say so til yuh bin interduced properlike. Whichis tuh say, ah cain't rightly say ahm acquainted with thet feller thar. Thuh key tuh being plite, mah granmaw told me, is knowin when tuh not know thuh things yuh know.

whut he said.

Scarab Sages

Trey, yer granny shor wuz uh smart gal.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
veector wrote:
*The zombies try to move onto the porch, but stumble on the steps. They fall to the ground and begin writhing around gurgling.*

Hey look! One of them footballs!

*kicks around a zombie head*


Aberzombie wrote:
Trey, yer granny shor wuz uh smart gal.

Ah coulda bin thet smart, but ah went an got uh education insted.


ayup. Almost to 6000 pages. ayup.

Dark Archive

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber

How 'bout thet! Kobaldts kin cownt!


Kobold Cleaver wrote:
Beaver Cleaver wrote:
gikky gik! you miss!

*Cannonball crashes into insane doppelganger*

"And the necromancer picks up a spare."

Whuups.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Larry Lichman wrote:
How 'bout thet! Kobaldts kin cownt!

Nuh uh!

Dark Archive

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber

Ah wudn't kid ya 'bout sumthin' lahk thet!


They kin count, jes not all inna row.

Scarab Sages

Ah reckon so.

Dark Archive

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber

ayup.

Scarab Sages

Thet's whut ah figerd.


arrryup.


*A black Chevy Suburban pulls up to the porch. Guys in sunglasses and dark suits jump out with pistols drawn, looking over the scene.*

Veector: So... the postmonster is now replacing words typed as "Ay" and "Thee" with "Uh" and "Thuh". Quite the neat trick Mr. Wertz.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Aberzombie wrote:
Thet's whut ah figerd.

Booty? Whar?

Scarab Sages

Huh? Wuzzat?


ayyup.


whooo doggies!


Yup.

Liberty's Edge

ayyyyup.


Aheeryuh.

Scarab Sages

Ah reckon so.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

You wrecked wha?


ayup.

Scarab Sages

Ah ain't reckt nuthin. Mary Jo Dugun swar's ah banged muh car inta her daddy's shed, but thet ain't true nohow.


An even if'n yuh did, thet shed had it comin. Bin blockin m'view of thuh East Ridge fer a dog's age. Old man Dugan warn't even usin it rite innyhow. Which don't matter none, since nobuddy hit it. An thet's all I got tuh say bout thet.


Is dat de Mary Jo Dugun wid de yellerish hare or de Mary Jo Dugun wid de reddish hare?

Scarab Sages

Ah think thar both thuh same person. Cupal uh years back this feller whut sold hair stuff broke down neer ol'man Dugun's spread. Mary Jo traded usin thuh fone fer sum uh thuh stuff he wuz sellin. Now evy time ah see thet gal, she got herself diffrint hair.

Liberty's Edge

ayup.


gikgikgikgikgik!!!


Thim lil red fellers giv me uh headache sumtimes.

Liberty's Edge

ayup.


Ah reckon so.

Dark Archive

Adventure Path Charter Subscriber

Y'all see thet sum fellers down in Georgia dun cot Bigfoot?

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