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The Exchange

The Pathfinder RPG playtest threads - what a terrible, wasted opportunity. It could have been really cool, and the "community" could have shaped a really interesting game. Instead, every anal rules lawyer on the planet has emerged from whatever crack they were slumbering in to vomit their incredibly tedious opinions on to the boards for the rest of us to "enjoy", and debate how many astral devas can dance on the head of pin. Not only does my brain shut down when I try to read their tedious proclamations about how important cod-philosophical musings on the game are, I get actively annoyed by their superior sniping at eachother as they do so.

The thing is, I actually care how Pathfinder turns out - not as some conduit for me to boost my flagging self-esteem with tendentious arguments about rules combinations no one who actually plays the game gives a damn about, but because it is increasingly unlikely I will be playing 4e much and so I am especially interested in seeing that Pathfinder will be a good game which I enjoy as a true heir to 3.5. Unfortunately, cutting through the crap on the boards trying to get to some actual relevant arguments on the subject is so demoralising I increasingly can't be bothered. Maybe it doesn't matter - it'll probably be OK. It's a shame a potentially interesting experiment like this should fail, falling victim (like the 4e threads) to a small band of fanatics who only want to talk to eachother.


Ageism in any form seriously chaps my arse. It’s a huge problem in the U.S., where you spend the majority of your life being “too young” if you do anything besides head directly to college and party your guts until your eyes bleed, then you spend a very brief period at the “right age” before becoming “too old” and a risk again.

Scarab Sages

mwbeeler wrote:
....head directly to college and party your guts until your eyes bleed....

Ah, the good old days. How well I don't remember them.

Dark Archive Bella Sara Charter Superscriber

Aubrey the Malformed wrote:

The Pathfinder RPG playtest threads - what a terrible, wasted opportunity. It could have been really cool, and the "community" could have shaped a really interesting game. Instead, every anal rules lawyer on the planet has emerged from whatever crack they were slumbering in to vomit their incredibly tedious opinions on to the boards for the rest of us to "enjoy", and debate how many astral devas can dance on the head of pin. Not only does my brain shut down when I try to read their tedious proclamations about how important cod-philosophical musings on the game are, I get actively annoyed by their superior sniping at eachother as they do so.

The thing is, I actually care how Pathfinder turns out - not as some conduit for me to boost my flagging self-esteem with tendentious arguments about rules combinations no one who actually plays the game gives a damn about, but because it is increasingly unlikely I will be playing 4e much and so I am especially interested in seeing that Pathfinder will be a good game which I enjoy as a true heir to 3.5. Unfortunately, cutting through the crap on the boards trying to get to some actual relevant arguments on the subject is so demoralising I increasingly can't be bothered. Maybe it doesn't matter - it'll probably be OK. It's a shame a potentially interesting experiment like this should fail, falling victim (like the 4e threads) to a small band of fanatics who only want to talk to eachother.

Well said. While I love what Paizo is trying to do, I've never been overly impresesd by the results of anything designed by a committee, particularly a committee of non-professional gamers. Worse yet, the threads that aren't debating arcane rules issues ad naseum are voting contests to try and keep 3.5 essentiall unchanged (e.g., any thread on skill points).

I hope that in listening to its fans, Paizo also separates the wheat from the chaff.

Scarab Sages

Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
Instead, every anal rules lawyer on the planet has emerged from whatever crack they were slumbering in to vomit.....

In the past, a certain alter-ego of mine would have chimed in at this point. Otherwise, well said Aubrey. Well said indeed.

The Exchange

Ah yes, I miss him. Maybe I should self-edit in future - don't want to get banned!


Something crazy struck me over the last few weeks, and I guess it qualifies as a rant. Maybe it's because of the people I've met on the boards, from the fact that I am a creative type and I work in New York City, but I'm amazed at how many people are just out walking on the street that can do amazing things and you would never guess it. With a few noteworthy exceptions, cellists are rarely recognized on the street. No matter how many blistering cello solos you can do, very few people will grant you recognition for that both because live music doesn't occupy the same sphere as it used to and because if you play in an orchestra, you're thoroughly anonymous on stage. You walk around on the street and no one knows you're an awesome cello player. Or painter. Or writer. Or actor for the theatre. Or chef. Or Olympic louge champion. Or the best marksman in your Army platoon.

You're like a secret, undercover Olympic Louge Champion.

There are people walking around in our day-to-day lives that can do things that seem superhuman to those of us that don't have the same combination of raw talent and hours of practice. But everyone recognizes people that are barely competent at what they do, by virtue of being on television or in the movies. And I can understand it, I know how media operates. But it's just amazing and curious to me just how much talent and skill is out walking around that we may not even be aware of. Brilliance is rarely seen on television or in the movies, but you might bump into it on the street.

Liberty's Edge

Yeah....THE Sam Rivers played in Gainesville, Florida, once a year.
He'd play there once a year, on the real cheap, y'know...to give the college kids a little culture.
So he came into this store where my father and I were, and my dad's going, "wow! Sam Rivers!" and nobody else knew who he was.

Grand Lodge

Why must every single huge-ass SUV/pickup truck (which, unfortunately, seems to be 95% of the cars) in Arizona drive with their brights on? After driving from Tucson to Phoenix, I'm practically blind. Turn your damn lights down when driving around other people! Hell, even truckers know how to do it, so how hard can it be? Gack!


Rant: Not having enough time to regularly write on Paizo for the last few months.

Liberty's Edge

Vattnisse wrote:
Why must every single huge-ass SUV/pickup truck (which, unfortunately, seems to be 95% of the cars) in Arizona drive with their brights on? After driving from Tucson to Phoenix, I'm practically blind. Turn your damn lights down when driving around other people! Hell, even truckers know how to do it, so how hard can it be? Gack!

They gotta kinda point them down more I think.

I mean, point them dowm more physically as opposed to the light brightness.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Aubrey the Malformed wrote:

The Pathfinder RPG playtest threads - what a terrible, wasted opportunity. It could have been really cool, and the "community" could have shaped a really interesting game. Instead, every anal rules lawyer on the planet has emerged from whatever crack they were slumbering in to vomit their incredibly tedious opinions on to the boards for the rest of us to "enjoy", and debate how many astral devas can dance on the head of pin. Not only does my brain shut down when I try to read their tedious proclamations about how important cod-philosophical musings on the game are, I get actively annoyed by their superior sniping at eachother as they do so.

Oh geez, amen, I could not agree more.

I'm new to the boards but I am already sick of all the heavy-handed "I know best" crap that has been flying about. It's gotten to the point that I rarely look at most 3P posts because I don't feel like reading another OCD, socially-inept moron spout off on how wrong Jason is on something.
It should be something fun but certain people make sure it's anything but.


Heathansson wrote:
Vattnisse wrote:
Why must every single huge-ass SUV/pickup truck (which, unfortunately, seems to be 95% of the cars) in Arizona drive with their brights on? After driving from Tucson to Phoenix, I'm practically blind. Turn your damn lights down when driving around other people! Hell, even truckers know how to do it, so how hard can it be? Gack!

They gotta kinda point them down more I think.

I mean, point them dowm more physically as opposed to the light brightness.

Yeah, that's what I think. Having them right at my eye level while I drive a compact economy car is enough to burn my corneas out.

Liberty's Edge

Why must it be so hard to find THREE GOOD PLAYERS who can make it to game every weekend?! I've found that three is my optimal number for running campaigns, but it just plain never works out with schedules. Arrrgh!


Timespike wrote:
Why must it be so hard to find THREE GOOD PLAYERS who can make it to game every weekend?! I've found that three is my optimal number for running campaigns, but it just plain never works out with schedules. Arrrgh!

Because that would make it too easy. :-)

Seriously, to me, it's all part of the game. Schedules get messed up, people get delayed, things in general go wrong. Just play the hand you're dealt and in time, players will catch up to speed.


James Keegan wrote:


I know, really. I'm actually regularly impressed by how considerate and civil my fellow commuters are at times. I see young men, dressed in the height of Thug Life fashion, standing up and volunteering their seats for pregnant women. I see people yielding the right of way getting off the subway if they see someone standing, obviously waiting to get off.

Toronto could really learn something from you guys in this regard. No one gives up their seat for anyone - and I mean just about never. I've regularly seen people getting on the train that were clearly blind or had broken legs etc. and no one stands. The train can be filled with 24 year old yuppies and no one gets up. I recently saw a blind person sit on the ground on the subway it was shocking and a depressingly pathetic cultural shift.


I was critiqued at my last game...I was told that it was obvious that I hadn't planned the encounter out as well as I should have...

This was after a total of 16 hours of stat and research time between bi-weekly games for a table of 10. I explained that while 4 chuuls were only about a 50% proposition for a party of 10 5th level adventurers, even I couldn't undo a grand total of 17 20's rolled that night...by the PC's.

The ungrateful cur then continues to prattle about how my heart didn't seem into it, and maybe I should take a break...wait for it...while HE takes over, and runs a kewl new campaign he had been working on.

I admit, I lost my cool. I threw my Mt. dew at him...followed by the bottle....followed by my pizza plate...followed by the pizza box. I pursued him out of the garage, and squirted fat free ranch dressing into the open window of his crap-mobile while he frantically burned out and sped away.

Mind you, this group has been together for almost 5 years now, so after a few breaths, I returned to the "Orc's Hole" (don't ask) to get a deserved ass chewing from my other players. Boy was I in for a surprise to find they had burned his character sheet! Turns out nobody really liked him, but nobody wanted to say anything for fear of seeming rude. We have since enshrined his sheets' ashes in a manila envelope labelled "Orc kissing, sister bumping, dwarven beard licker." which were a few of the more "G" rated insults I sent flying his way.

In hindsight, i could have probably handled it a little better. But Cheeseless Rice! where has player etiquette gone? I don't mind having my encounter handed to me with sauce every now and again, but to have a player insult your hard work in reprehensible at the very least.

His character (in game) discovered that the anal cavity is a perfect entry point for kyuss worms and was put down with much glee by the party. The farting worm attack had my players rolling on the ground laughing.

The remaining 9 players have been schooled on how much f*****g work I really have to do to put their favorite pastime together, and have learned that this good old dog still has teeth. It worked out in the end...but....freakin players man...you feel me?


Donovan Vig wrote:
I admit, I lost my cool. I threw my Mt. dew at him...followed by the bottle....followed by my pizza plate...followed by the pizza box. I pursued him out of the garage, and squirted fat free ranch dressing into the open window of his crap-mobile while he frantically burned out and sped away...In hindsight, i could have probably handled it a little better...

Screw that noise; get in line so I can pin a medal on you!


Throwing objects at people really isn't cool. However, failing to hit that guy between eyes with that can of Mountain Dew is also not cool.

It's an enigma. ;)


wrapped in a mystery. My rage threw off my aim...I mean how tactless! It's all good though. I just think about what his car must've smelled like with half a bottle of fat free ranch - in July - and I get all tingly feeling.

Nothing quite like it since, just the typical player on player drama.


One thing that is bugging me is which monsters WotC kept and which got OGL/SRDd (yeah I know, this is not a new issue but still felt like venting a little) Mind Flayers, Beholders and associated races (Gith races and Umber Hulks for Illithids; Gauths for Beholders) they can keep without any complaint from me-same with Kuo-Toas and Slaad; and the Yuan-ti are popular so I understand keeping those (don't particularly LIKE it though) but I like the Displacer Beast and Carrion Crawler and I wish those had been OGL/SRDd and if they kept the Slaad why didn't Wizards keep the Formians too (for Law Chaos balance in the OGL-namely eliminating the most numerous forces of both for OGL purposes?) Oh well, also the Aboleth which is somewhat similar at times to the Illithids (aberration mastermind plotting in the depths) was allowed in the OGL-just seems a bit random at times. This also provided an excuse to revive the rant thread since it was at risk of disappearing

Liberty's Edge

Women.

Can't live with them, can't ARRRGH!

The Exchange

Problems, dude?

Liberty's Edge

Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
Problems, dude?

More than usual, yeah.

Ah, nothing terminal. Just needed to scream, you know?


Heh, I think my wife feels the same way now that she's outnumbered. I'm busily teaching her the joys of boys. We break crap and are REALLY LOUD AT ALL TIMES. ;)

Remember parents: Unbreakable toys can be used to break other toys!


I saw this one girl on my way into work during the week; she had Robert Smith hair. Seriously, like, "Disintegration" era Robert Smith hair. I was like,"Wow! You're bringing it back!" and she didn't say anything, because I said it with my mind, not with my mouth.

I see the Orange People a lot, too. With their bright fake tans, blonde hair and bright lipstick. I don't know why people do that; it really isn't attractive. I just think about how, in the good Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Gene Wilder, you never saw a female Oompa Loompa. Well, I seen one now.

Where I work, we publish a lot of Page A Day calendars (in fact, it's the original home of the Page A Day calendar) and we're doing one for Cute Overload: the website that gives young women a bad name. The photos are cute, of course; hamsters, pandas, puppies. Cute. I just want to strangle whoever writes the copy on these. "Kitty" is not "Kitteh". I will lose all respect for anyone that talks that way. And what kind of person frequents Cute Overload, exactly? I can imagine two types: 6-13 year old girls and 'Nam veterans so destroyed by their experiences that they just have to sit at their computers,"Cute, I need something cute....the pandas...in the trees...THEY'RE IN THE TREES!"

Calendars: The Perfect Gift For Someone You Barely Know.


James Keegan wrote:

I just want to strangle whoever writes the copy on these. "Kitty" is not "Kitteh". I will lose all respect for anyone that talks that way. And what kind of person frequents Cute Overload, exactly? I can imagine two types: 6-13 year old girls and 'Nam veterans so destroyed by their experiences that they just have to sit at their computers,"Cute, I need something cute....the pandas...in the trees...THEY'RE IN THE TREES!"

Calendars: The Perfect Gift For Someone You Barely Know.

Awesome.


ArchLich wrote:
James Keegan wrote:
Calendars: The Perfect Gift For Someone You Barely Know.
Awesome.

Woah, woah, there. You aren't trying to horn in on "bath set" 's action, are you?


Okay, f+#& Mars. Seriously, f+#$ Mars. A little robot costs how much money to build and send up there, it bumps into rocks and breaks and then costs how much to bring back? All so we can know that there MIGHT have been water up there billions of years ago? What will we do with this information, this very expensive information? There are problems here. Problems that a NASA robot's huge salary might help fix. Mars isn't going anywhere, we can procrastinate a little. How about that global AIDS crisis? Huh? Anyone? Shore up some of our badly neglected levees? College tuition for veterans? Can that Mars money come back to address some of those things?


I work is a small school and I am the only male teacher. I am nearly always ostracized by the females. Sometimes they talk around me like I am not even there, or, worse yet, leave when I come in the room. I am not a bad guy and trying to be pleasant ( without getting in anyone's face) when I can, but sometimes, they really make me feel like garbage.

Liberty's Edge

James Keegan wrote:

Okay, f%*! Mars. Seriously, f%*! Mars. A little robot costs how much money to build and send up there, it bumps into rocks and breaks and then costs how much to bring back? All so we can know that there MIGHT have been water up there billions of years ago? What will we do with this information, this very expensive information? There are problems here. Problems that a NASA robot's huge salary might help fix. Mars isn't going anywhere, we can procrastinate a little. How about that global AIDS crisis? Huh? Anyone? Shore up some of our badly neglected levees? College tuition for veterans? Can that Mars money come back to address some of those things?

The budget NASA gets ($16.8 billion for 2007) is really, really miniscule compared to what other domestic agencies receive, like the Department of Health and Human Services ($63 billion for 2006-2007). AIDS Relief monetary donations exceeded $16 billion in 2007; and the GI Bill (in use since the Korean War) provided $7 billion to military veterans for college tuition in 2007 alone. Back to NASA, my wife use to be a staff dentist (civilian) for KSC, and she made less than I do as an active duty officer in the Army. They (NASA) really don't have a lot of money to begin with.


Maybe not, but is this the economy for space exploration? Several billions of dollars (even if it's a drop in the bucket compared to the war, cost of aid and benefits) can have an appreciable impact on human lives on this planet. It'll be there when there's more money to spend. The people that money could benefit might not; I'm not talking about wiping these problems away, it's not an all or nothing situation. I'm talking about making some headway.


All right. This has been too long coming. You've slumbered enough, my monstrous child. ARISE!!!

4e.

WHAT

THE

$%^*?!

SERIOUSLY.

"Whoa, now, Saern, this should go in the 4e section!"

Nope! It's a rant, and the rant thread is here. Besides, an examination of the 4e threads will show I haven't bothered sticking my nose in them, so I need to get a little venting out here.

Spoiler:
And I need the ego boost of seeing my creation rise in the thread listings again.

To WotC: What the hell are you smoking, and where can I get some? Because that must be some serious s$~@ you're freebasing.

I'd rather have nothing to do with 4e at all, but a buddy of mine buys the PHB and I just have to take a look, I suppose for the same morbid curiosity that draw's one's eyes to a bloating corpse.

Alignments. What the hell did the old alignment system ever do to you, WotC? Why did you feel the need to butcher it?

"Blargh! Everything must change! No competition from our own product which is by definition now outdated and no longer competing with our new s@*#-on-a-stick! BLARGH!!!!"

So far as I know, in my infinite ignorance, the alignment system we all know and love has been around since the early days of 1st edition, some minor and extremely infrequent tweaks aside. Oft maligned as "pigeon-holes," the two-word description of a creature's basic philosophical outlook actually allowed an immense amount of room to play and explore various mindsets, personalities, and stories. Further, one of the best parts of the alignment system was that it wasn't inherently tied to any core, fundamental mechanics, so it could roll from one edition to the other with absolutely no need to change or modify it.

"HAHA!!! KITTY KATS GO MOO-QUACK! ALIGNMENTS BE DUMBTARDED! ME CAN'T COUNT TO NINE! MAKE IT FOUR INSTEAD!"

Wait.. I see Lawful Good... and then there's just "Good." So, Lawful Good isn't as pure as just Good? And how can you have Lawful Good unless you have a Chaotic Good to contrast it against? Unless just "Good" is what Chaotic Good was... but then, why the hell is Chaotic Evil a viable alignment, but not Chaotic Good? Or Lawful Evil, for that matter? GAAAH!!!!

WTF, guys?! This doesn't even make sense! Whatever the flaws of the old system, this one is barely even coherent. It's like they don't even understand basic adjectives. What are they, freaking five year olds?

"YOU TALKS FUNNY! WHAT BE A BASIC? CAN ME EATZ IT WITH LEAD PAINT?"

"Hey, guys, I've got a great idea! Let's take a cherished institution of a beloved game, piss all over it, burn it, butcher it with a chainsaw, piss on it again (don't forget to take a s$%& while you're at it) and market it as THE GREATEST THING SINCE I DISCOVERED MY GENITALS!"

"Good idea, Jim, but why stop with just one cherished institution? Let's $#%^ ALL OF THEM!!!!"

Spell schools? Gone. Vancian magic? Gone. GNOMES?! GONE!

"Oh, those were too complicated. No one could understand them."

Color spray deals radiant damage?

You know what?

Spoiler:
F@#@ YOU!

And no, thank you, I don't want to pay $5 for a delicious glass of vinegar mixed with your urine.

Liberty's Edge

The rant thread's finally found a home!

And yeah, I don't get the 4e alignment thing either ... but I just can't get myself to care enough about what they're doing to rant about it...

Scarab Sages

Saern wrote:
Color spray deals radiant damage?

Okay, now my rant is on!

Color Spray (colour spray in Canada, sometimes just called the spray) was the best friggin' spell ever gifted to mankind by the planetary-sized genius of three crazy men playing wargames.

Magic missile? What game are you playing. Sure it is better known, mostly thanks to the Dead Alewives "Dungeons and Dragons" skit, but that spell frankly sucks on a dead dog's nose. Especially now that you have to roll to hit. I mean, shield is a better spell. It both provides an AC bonus and blocks pesky missiles of force. And don't get me started on the damage. Who cares about damage when you can coup de grace your enemies like some kind of unholy threshing machine - but instead of wheat, you thresh sleeping people!

Simply put, Color Spray was the best spell ever. And that's in 3rd Edition. Don't get me started on AD&D, where you weren't even entitled to a save until 6th level (or higher level than the caster), and it was an alteration spell. That's right! Color Spray used to be so awesome that it affected everything, and if you hadn't been fortunate enough to kill a few hundred orcs in your day, well you went night-night and met the end of dagger. That's right, my wizard killed you, you sleeping backstabbing rogue! Behold the justice that is saves versus spells!

Now, why is Color Spray the best spell ever? Check this out and try to deny it! Name one other spell that allows a 1st level wizard to end a bar fight before it begins, murder all the participants, loot the bodies, and be gone before your party members come to? NONE, that's one!

I am pretty sure there was a rule somewhere, I'll have to dig through my old 2nd Ed. PHB, that if your wizard didn't take Color Spray then you had to reduce their Intelligence to 3 because they are stupid. I think it was in Chapter 3 somewhere.

And one of the designers* once told me personally that they had to nerf Color Spray for 3rd Edition because it was so overwhelmingly awesome that it was either that, or create a whole new God of Color Spray whose only domain (power and spells) was Color Spray and portfolio was Color Spray and the casting and applications thereof, and the smiting of those who didn't cast Color Spray. So the design team had to REDUCE the spell into something that can instantly wipe out a village meeting, but only if the villagers aren't undead, oozes, plants, or constructs.

*By designer I mean nobody.

So now Color Spray only does radiant damage?

OMG! ALL SPELLZ MUST DEAL DMG! CLRSPRY ROXORZ!

Color Spray doesn't need to deal damage. Color Spray let's a fledgling hedge-mage kill your entire family in 6 seconds (time may very depending on number of coup de grace attempts). Oh, you say, but in 3rd Edition everyone gets a save, and the really bad effects are limited by HD! Oh yeah, that is so horrible! A 1st-level Wizard can walk into the King's audience room, cast one spell, and proceed to loot the crown and scepter right out of the old man's still-living hands. Unless he is an undead, ooze, plant, or construct.

Oh, did I mention how good Color Spray was for finding out if someone is an undead, ooze, plant, or construct? (Okay, if you have difficulty telling oozes and plants from real people, your character has other problems).

But none of that matters anymore, because the best spell ever: DEALS DAMAGE! HURRAY! Now my wizard has another power that deals damage. I didn't have enough, thanks.

This is the last straw! I'm pulling out my AD&D spellbooks and casting Color Spray on 4th Edition. Since AD&D has been around longer, it is higher level, and 4th Edition only has 4 HD so it gets no saving throw. Coup de grace, jerk.


James Keegan wrote:
Maybe not, but is this the economy for space exploration?

I would posit it is always an economy for space exploration. There isn’t a compelling reason to give two craps about space (well, aside from a greater understanding of the universe and the desire to preserve ourselves through colonization). There’s every reason to care about getting there, and discovering what happens when you are there. The technological leaps we make as a species in the drive to explore space more than compensate for the initial expenditures.

What there isn’t an economy for is a war exactly two people wanted, and a license to print money that could have done so much more as health, education, and welfare funding. Although we could also put forward the massive influx of cash directed at DARPA will advance us far into the future, the human cost is a bit more telling.


So from what I've heard it's boring playing a wizard because they run out of spells. Well they way I see it you probably got Int 17 or higer so why don't you just think of something else to do?

And fighters are boring cause they don't get cool powers, and become underpowered at later levels. I sugest you guys go ask the wizards for advise.


Having probably a hundred little projects laying around that you want to do, but no time to do any of them.


Lenarior wrote:
I sugest you guys go ask the wizards for advise.

Just as long as they don't live on the Coast.

"So uhm, any advice?"

"EAT S&%& AND DIE, AND LIKE IT BECAUSE I SAY SO! That'll be 20gp."

The Exchange

{rant}

I will be heading off to DragonCon at the end of August and I know I will love every minute but why oh why are gamers so unacquainted with the fundamentals of personal hygiene?

Please - stinky gamers - yeah you - there is this wondrous invention called soap. When combined with hot water and used every day it has truly transformative properties. Oh, and if you finish it off with deodorant then you will get bonus points - and maybe even a date or three.

No the woman in the woman dressed as slave Leia is not running away from you because you talk like Jabba the Hutt - it's because you smell like Jabba the Hutt.

sheesh

{/rant}


Adventure Path Charter Subscriber

At some of the late Milwaukee Gen Cons, there was a group handing out gamer emergency hygiene kits. They had little bars of soap and a couple other toiletries.
I thought it was a great idea. Talk about community service!

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
crosswiredmind wrote:

{rant}

I will be heading off to DragonCon at the end of August and I know I will love every minute but why oh why are gamers so unacquainted with the fundamentals of personal hygiene?
Please - stinky gamers - yeah you - there is this wondrous invention called soap. When combined with hot water and used every day it has truly transformative properties. Oh, and if you finish it off with deodorant then you will get bonus points - and maybe even a date or three.
No the woman in the woman dressed as slave Leia is not running away from you because you talk like Jabba the Hutt - it's because you smell like Jabba the Hutt.
sheesh
{/rant}

Soap... AND water!

Oh, that's the problem...
*takes notes*


crosswiredmind wrote:

{rant}

I will be heading off to DragonCon at the end of August and I know I will love every minute but why oh why are gamers so unacquainted with the fundamentals of personal hygiene?

Please - stinky gamers - yeah you - there is this wondrous invention called soap. When combined with hot water and used every day it has truly transformative properties. Oh, and if you finish it off with deodorant then you will get bonus points - and maybe even a date or three.

No the woman in the woman dressed as slave Leia is not running away from you because you talk like Jabba the Hutt - it's because you smell like Jabba the Hutt.

sheesh

{/rant}

QFT. The part of conventions I dislike the most.


I am 28, married with three children. We have an okay income but a large amount of debt. Contrast with my players. They are all close to my age, but none are married or have kids. A few live with parents. Their incomes support only themselves and they are largely debt free.

Of course, they're psyched about playing 4e. Even if I liked the new system I wouldn't prioritize it over food and diapers. I've made it clear that my campaign will continue under 3.5, at least until the PFRPG comes out.

Well, on June 7th only two people showed up. No one answered when called. I found out Monday that a friend from out of town had been visiting to play 4e on Friday. Since my game is on Saturday, I take it they played until the wee hours and then sacked out the rest of the day. Well great.

So since the three of us was enough to play, we generated 3rd level Pathfinder characters and ran them through a simple dungeon. The party was: a dwarven cleric (of a fire and strength god), a elven wizard NPC, and a halfling bard. Not a very heavy hitting party, but they did alright until they got sloppy.

They entered the final chamber where they confronted a necromancer and four ghouls. While the bard hung back and performed and the wizard lobbed spells, the cleric went forward and was jumped by all four ghouls. Despite his high AC, he was eventually paralyzed for the full 5 rounds. By the time he became unparalyzed, his step backwards to heal was moot and the ghouls soon brought him down. In the meantime, the necromancer blinded the bard and menaced him with a spectral hand delivering chilling touches. He drew his sword and charged blindly into melee. Obviously, a blind bard can't hit anything. When the bard was brought down I called the battle over.

Here's what gets me. They expected some Deus Ex Machina to come in and make them not dead and eaten by ghouls. Honestly, in a regular game maybe, but in a one-off? I asked him why he didn't turn and he replied that he "wasn't a turning cleric" due to his low charisma (of 8). This is a lame excuse even under 3.5 turning rules, but in PF it's unforgivable. That would've been 2d6 positive energy, enough to potentially bring them down to nubbins. They may not have fled, but it could've reduced them significantly in HP.

I'm burned out, obviously. The game hasn't provided the enjoyment it once did. I honestly don't know how I can expect my players to understand when we have such massively different references. Honestly, I've enjoyed my time off. I've been building stuff, gardening, reading, playing the pile of unfinished PS2 games, and doing various things with the family. My players can get their 4e ya-yas out and, if they don't suck, they can rejoin my game when I feel like running it again.

Liberty's Edge

Why do my rants always seem so trivial? Meh. Here goes.

F#&%ING TOURISTS! WHY DO YOU JEAPORDIZE MY LIFE WITH YOUR INEXPLICABLE BEHAVIOR?!

OK, I live in Ticonderoga, the official backwater of New York State. Most of its cash flow comes from tourism. Which I would be OK with if the tourists WEREN'T ALL F~*@ING MORONS.

There are tourists who PARK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD to take pictures, then SPEED OFF WITHOUT SIGNALING. I have to walk three miles to work every day, and as a consequence of this, am nearly run over at least once daily.

There are tourists who think that the Ticonderoga Municipal Waste-Treatment Facility is, in fact, Historic Fort Ticonderoga. I wonder if they are aware that Historic Fort Ticonderoga was not, in fact, made from Ye Olde Form-Laid Concrete with Vinyl Roofing.

There are tourists who ask dumb questions. Like these:

Lady - "Where's the pencil factory?"
Me - "The pencils haven't been made in Ticonderoga for twenty years."
Lady - "But it says Ticonderoga Pencils."
Me - "That's just the brand, ma'am."
Lady - "I don't understand."
Me - "They're just called Ticonderoga pencils. They aren't made here. They're made in Mexico. Like it says on the box."
Lady - "Why are they made in Mexico?"
Me - "I have no idea."
Lady - "Oh..."

Or these, supplied by my friends Kaleb and Bryce, who work at Historic Fort Ticonderoga:

Tourist - "Is this real dirt?"
Bryce - "No, ma'am, it's synthetic."

Tourist - "How do you get all the flags to point the same way?"
Kaleb - "Magnets."

Tourist (who, incidentally bypassed the clearly marked parking lot and tried to drive up through the main gate into the parade ground) -
"Where do I park?"
Bryce - "In the parking lot."
Tourist - "Where's that?"
Bryce - "Where all the cars are."

Tourist (pointing to an 18th-century cast-iron mortar labeled in two-inch-high letters "CAST-IRON MORTAR, 18TH CENTURY")
"What's that?"
Kaleb - "It's a cannon for launching midgets."

And during a re-enactment of the Battle of Fort Ticonderoga:
Tourist - "Oh, my GOD! Are they DEAD?"
Kaleb - "Yep. We've got a hell of a recruiting program, though, so it'll be back next year."

My main beef with... No, wait, make that PSYCHOTIC F~$#ING HATRED of the summer months is that, during this time period, I am IMMERSED in a SEETHING CAULDRON OF STUPIDITY (mostly from New Jersey). It impedes my functioning (like the gang of bicyclists that cut in front of me in the grocery line at a convenience store after denuding the shelves of all edible matter), and, I swear, lowers my I.Q. by proximity. No wonder 48% of the population are alcoholics.


Adventure Path Charter Subscriber

Shiny, I so get you. I deliver kegs in the nations oldest city and have this to say:
STOP AT THE %^$# STOP SIGNS, STAY THE !@#$ OUT OF MY LOADING ZONES, AND MY RIG WILL NOT STOP FASTER BECAUSE IT HAS MORE WHEELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 65,000 LBS OF BEER AND TRUCK ARE COOL BUT STEP IN FRONT OF ME AGAIN AND I SWEAR THAT I WILL GO MAD MAX UPON YE!!!!!!!
#@!$%&%$ tOURISTS!!!

The Exchange

Callous Jack wrote:
crosswiredmind wrote:

{rant}

I will be heading off to DragonCon at the end of August and I know I will love every minute but why oh why are gamers so unacquainted with the fundamentals of personal hygiene?
Please - stinky gamers - yeah you - there is this wondrous invention called soap. When combined with hot water and used every day it has truly transformative properties. Oh, and if you finish it off with deodorant then you will get bonus points - and maybe even a date or three.
No the woman in the woman dressed as slave Leia is not running away from you because you talk like Jabba the Hutt - it's because you smell like Jabba the Hutt.
sheesh
{/rant}

Soap... AND water!

Oh, that's the problem...
*takes notes*

And they don't even the excuse of not having cool soap to use as a gamer. Inconceivable!

Silver Crusade

Oh, so you had a nasty little band breakup, huh? Decided to do it just off stage after the last show of the tour? Good going team! Now how about both of you move on already and get over your respective drama and put out some albums that don't have little digs at the other party! Okay, so Bye Bye Beautiful was a good song. DON'T DO IT AGAIN is all I'm saying. And as for you, drop the whole "I walk alone" bit and move on. AND DO NOT insert suprise screeches in the middle of your metal opera album which typically WILL be played at high volumes. Yeah you have a classically trained operatic voice. TOO BAD I CAN'T HEAR IT NOW WITH MY EARS BLEEDING.

I was generally pleased with both albums though....

The Exchange

The Eldritch Mr. Shiny wrote:
And during a re-enactment of the Battle of...

MAKE IT STOP ... MAKE IT STOP

I went into a laughing fit. Riled up the dog. Laughed so hard I was crying. Wiped my eyes and forgot I had Goldbond anti itch cream on them. Now my eyes sting. That made me forget about the mosquito bite, so that's good.

You and your friends need to spin this into a movie deal. Way too f*+@ing funny.

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