The Secrets of the Metadventurer (PFRPG) PDF

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Are you cool enough to play me?!

Do you like to win Pathfinder?! If you understand that this is a competition between yourself and the GM, then I may just choose you as a player. Come discover The Secrets of the Metadventurer, the most awesome character class ever and join me in pwning the entire make-believe world that GM jerk spent years creating. Marvel at the power of my Metagaming Pool to game the system! Witness the firepower of the fully armed and operational third-party supplements I can drag into your game with my Third Party BS class feature! Exult as my 20th level capstone ability Make the GM Cry reduces that jerk into to a weeping mass huddled in a pile of post-its and crumpled paper containing a lifetime of world-building notes! Cower before my mastery of overusing exclamation points in my ad copy!!!!

This is Rite Publishing's April Fool's day product, from the same brilliant and sexy mind that brought you last year's In the Company of Gelatinous Cubes and will bring you next year's In the Company of a Dreamy Game Designer (in sonnet form). The publisher describes me as a new 20-level base class that is, "serious fun, functional, and balanced, but with tongue in cheek," some reviewer will describe me as, "a blatant cash grab that's not even funny," and I describe myself as the greatest character concept that ever allowed itself to be written.

Come check out The Secrets of the Metadventurer!

Author: Wendall Roy
Cover Artist: Johnny Rockwell
Pages: 6

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An Endzeitgeist.com review

5/5

An Endzeitgeist.com review

Wow, wow, wow...are you serious? This is the reviewer who is supposed to judge my magnificence? This odd, long-haired German goth/metalhead-sod? Really? Oh well. I'm in a good mood, so I'll "help" you, okay endy? Great! So, my splendorous debut is 11 pages long, though 1 page is the front cover, 1 the editorial, 2 are advertisement and 1 page is the SRD, which means I get a full 6 pages...not that I'd need more to show how awesome I am, mind you...but still, gotta talk to my agent about that... *walks off*

Ehem, yeah, so this is a prioritized review and was moved up in my queue at the request of my patreons, before this strange guy rudely interrupted...oh damn, he's coming back!

Hey, Chris...yeah, about those... WAIT. You there, endy! I said I'd do that for you, right? Right! So, what do I do - urgh...I hate repeating myself and I explained it in the book already...but, in a nut-shell:

I WIN PATHFINDER.

There, 'nuff said.

Urgh, you're still reading. I can see you. So yeah, wanna know more? Gotcha. I am better and more awesome than all other classes, because I friggin' know. I'm not some pseudo-smart wizard-sheeple...I know I'm a character in your game. Yeah, you heard me. I know I have 2+Int skills (really? come on!) and d8 HD and proficiency with simple weapons, light and medium armors. I have 3/4 BAB-progression. I also am good at Min/Maxing - bonus points for kicking off a discussion on the Stormwind Fallacy. When resting, I choose one good save (two good saves at 12th level) and the others are bad save.

Starting at 4th level, I can select two skills that are not knowledge (No, GM, I don't care about the intricacies of your world!) and get max ranks for the day. At 8th level, I can also swap attributes and at 16th level I can swap 1/day saving throws, ability scores and bogus feats. I also am a master of optimizing flexibility: I can choose each day to gain arcane casting, divine casting, martial tricks or a crapton of skill. Oh yes, I'm that awesome.

Starting at 2nd level, I get a metagaming pool equal to 1/2 class level + 3. I can spend these as free actions to get skill bonuses, additional non-AoO-5-foot movements and even negate partial effects on successful saves. At 3rd level, I know what you know. No seriously, I can simply metagame what you know - d20+class level + Int-modifier and bam...you're GM is pissed. Priceless, believe me.

At 5th level and every 6 thereafter, I get Bogus feats. I can change these whenever I rest. Why? Cause that is how I roll! Oh, and 6th level, I can spend metagaming points to alter the damage of my weapons. At 7th level, I am adept at making allies count as abettors for Betrayal feats...who needs these suckers, after all? Oh, and yeah, at 9th level I can Rules Lawyer game-mechanics 1/day and alter them by +2/-2 or +10%/-10%, twice that much at 19th level, +1 daily use every 5 levels above 9th.

At 10th level, I can change energy types or better pass through SR via metagaming. At 13th level, I can divert effects when I failed my save to allies - we all know we only have to do better than the other suckers, right? And guess what? I have read all those supplements - at 13th level, I can take a treasure and identify it...and determine which treasure it is, within GP-boundaries. I always get what I want, man. At 15th level, as long as you, the player, bring a third party book to the table, it'll be game for me. I know. Awesome, right? Oh, guess what, at 18th level, I can metagame those stupid action economy limitations. But the most fun is 20th level - the ability's called "Make the GM Cry" - extraordinary wish. Oh, and when I die, I immediately resurrect. Oh yeah. You know you want to see that in action, right? Thought so.

Conclusion:

All right, so this reviewer-git doesn't pay me enough for this, so blabla, nice artworks full color 2-column layout etc. Bookmarks are there as well.

So, I dictated the book to Wendall Roy and he seems to be able to write it - congrats, dude. No seriously, I couldn't wait anymore. This game needs my awesomeness in it. It's time that those prissy wizards and stuck-up paladins learn their place. This is where I come in, by the way. So do yourself a favor and get this book - we'll have a lot of fun making your fellow players cry. And best of all - you can always just point to the fact that I'm not "overpowered." Not our problem if the others just can't play the game, right? Hate the game, not the player!

Ehem...how do you end these things? Oh yeah, I'm obviously 5 stars + seal of approval (Seriously? "Seal of approval"? Pretentious much? Man, reviewer-dude, you got some issues...) and totally inexpensive, so buy my awesome book!

Metadventurer out.



So, totally posted this review with endzy's account at his site, Nerdtrek and GMS magazine and posted it here, on OneBiscuitSale and the unpronounceable SRD-store...signing off for now!


Endzeitgeist wrote:
So, totally posted this review with endzy's account at his site, Nerdtrek and GMS magazine and posted it here, on OneBiscuitSale and the unpronounceable SRD-store...signing off for now!

Best review ever! Had me laughing all the way through it!


Thanks, Sethvir! Glad it made you smile...and that *HE* is gone...for now... <_<...>_>


Dear Metadventurer, before my GM allows me to enlist your help in a campaign to where the two of us may climb to greatness, a question has come up.

What are your favored class bonuses?
Obviously every race ever should always pick YOU as their favored class, but are they limited only by the basic options of Hit-Point or Skill-Point, or is there hidden goodness lurking beneath the surface for those that truly devote themselves to a partnership with you?


2 people marked this as a favorite.

So, I had to knock out that dumb reviewer-git to reply, but yeah - there ya go. The things I do for ya!

The answer's totally obvious, man! I'm obviously so awesome I should be able to freely choose any combination of all favored class options ever whenever I choose whether I am better at casting, skills or fighting than any of those other sheeple-PCs.

...then again, this stupid review-prick keeps moaning about balance and stuff like that and he's really stuck up with what he allows and whatnot, so we kinda made a compromise. After all, i get to sleep on his couch, drink his coffee, smoke his cigarettes...anyhow. Don't tell anyone.

So the totally not recommended compromise for whiny GMs that can't handle my awesomeness would be to force me to choose a race like emo-ling, growth-challenged alcoholic, prissy tree-hugger or one of those others at 1st level and then allow me to gain the favored class option bonuses of the I-smash-with-stick-fighter, the klepto, the religious wacko or the bookworm-nerd when I choose my awesomeness for the day. If you're good, you can maybe talk your GM into allowing an additional race's options to choose from at...

...what you're mumbling? Damn, should stop hitting him so hard.

...so yeah, round 10th level and again at 20th. Personally, I'm currently trying to talk him into more of these, since, frankly, I'm cooler than all those weirdo-races...but yeah.

...he's getting back up. He looks pretty angry. I'ma go for a walk, righty, endy? Aw, sh*t, keep calm, man....So yeah...gotta run, hope that helped and see ya around!

Metadventurer out.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Endzeitgeist wrote:
The answer's totally obvious, man!

Oh my, what have I created...

Good question on the favored class bonus. Feel free to foist this freebie feat (say that five times fast) upon your GM. I've vetted it through heavy playtesting, so it's totally balanced. Scout's honor.

100% Class, All Of It Low (General)
I am a golden god.
Prerequisite: optimizing flexibility class feature
Benefit: Whenever you choose options for your optimizing flexibility class feature, you can retrain all favored class bonuses that you have gained from your metadventurer class levels. For each class level, you can choose either +1 hit point, +1 skill point, or any favored class bonus available to your race for another class.
Normal: You can choose +1 hit point or +1 skill point per level as a favored class bonus for the metadventurer class.

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