Malgana the Twistwood Lich
female, goblin lich, infernal sorceress 11th
Description:
Little is known of Malgana’s true origins, but according to goblin legend she made a deal with an infernal entity in exchange for 444 years of existence as a lich.
After ruling the goblin tribes of the Twistwood Forest for many decades, Malgana was finally betrayed and "executed" by her own kind. Yet even after her treacherous kin removed her head and cut out her organs (spine, liver, heart and tongue), she continues to live on in an undying (albeit speechless) mockery of life.
Presently, Malgana is a severed goblin head hidden within a tangle of black hair. Her mouth is sewn shut and stuffed with oak leaves, but her black eyes dart about, studying her surroundings with an eerie intelligence. She is currently hunting for her lost body parts in the hopes of overcoming her condition… for each of her missing organs holds a fragment of her former power as a lich.
Motivations/Goals:
Malgana is merciless, evil and entirely malevolent, yet her charisma often enables her to relate to others just enough to manipulate them into doing her bidding. She delights in tempting her victims to make promises and deals that they later come to regret—a trait that echoes her (rumored) infernal origins.
First and foremost, Malgana seeks to regain her former lich powers. To accomplish this, she must first retrieve her missing organs (see Malgana’s Phylactery for details).
Once her body and powers are restored, Malgana hopes to reassert her dominion over the local goblin tribes and begin a war to enslave the nearby human settlements that have brazenly sent logging expeditions into the Twistwood Forest in the perceived "absence" of the Twistwood Lich.
Schemes/Plots/Adventure Hooks:
There are several ways to introduce Malaga as a recurring villain, depending on the style of your particular campaign:
- The PCs are exploring a goblin barrow when they accidentally free Malgana’s head from a sealed sepulcher. Even if they destroy her, they only manage to return her head to her phylactery, and they are now responsible for unleashing the Twistwood Lich upon the world.
- The PCs hear from a local dryad that the Twistwood Lich has resurfaced and is trying to rebuild herself with the help of her newest henchman, Daegan the Bonechewer (male, troll, barbarian 5th). The adventure evolves into a race where the PCs must find and destroy Malgana’s phylactery before Daegan and Malgana can recover her organs.
- Or, if the DM is up for an extreme role-playing challenge, the PCs learn that they must infiltrate a dungeon that Malgana formerly inhabited. She agrees to help the PCs, but only if they first promise to take her head with them and help recover one of her missing organs (which, ostensibly, is hidden in the dungeon the PCs are infiltrating). To make this plot hook work, Malgana must have information that is absolutely vital to the PCs’ mission.
Malgana’s Head CR 9
LE Tiny Undead goblin lich head
Init +6 ; Senses darkvision 60; Perception +10
===== Defense =====
AC 25 , touch 16 flat-footed 23
hp 55 (11d12);
Fort 5 , Ref 7 , Will 13
Defensive Abilities +5 natural armor bonus , resist fire 10 ; Immune undead immunities
===== Offense =====
Spd 0 ft., silent still fly 60
Melee +5 touch (1d8+5 negative energy; Will Save (DC 19) for ½ damage)
Ranged by spell
Space 2.5 ft.; Reach 0 ft.
Special Attacks Corrupting Touch, Hellfire
Spells Known (Infernal Sorceress CL 11)
Cantrips (at will) detect magic, read magic, open/close, bleed, mage hand, message, dancing lights, arcane mark, prestidigitation;
1st (6/day)— alarm, charm person (DC 16 ), disguise self, protection from good, shield, magic missile;
2nd (6/day)— detect thoughts (DC 16 ), hideous laughter (DC 17 ), mirror image, scorching ray, spectral hand, whispering wind;
3rd (6/day)— deep slumber (DC 18 ), fireball, fly, slow (DC 17 ), suggestion (DC 18 );
4th (6/day)— black tentacles, charm monster (DC 19 ), greater invisibility, wall of fire;
5th (4/day)— dominate person (DC 20 ), mind fog, planar binding (lesser) (DC 19 ), summon monster V;
===== Tactics =====
Before Combat Until she gets her body back, Malgana prefers to be carried around and dangled by her hair from the off-hand of her strongest available henchman. While being carried, she cannot make melee attacks and she shares a square with the creature carrying her. Before combat, Malgana casts silent stilled protection from good and silent stilled shield on herself (if there is time). If Malgana is by herself (i.e. if she’s not being carried), she first casts silent stilled fly and then her other defensive spells before entering combat.
During Combat Until she recovers her tongue and spine, Malgana must use her Silent Spell and Still Spell metamagic feats to cast any spell from her sorcerer spell list, a factor which greatly reduces the extent of her available spells. That said, Malgana typically leads off a fight by using her hellfire supernatural ability. Next she casts silent stilled deep slumber and silent stilled suggestion to neutralize any enemies uninjured by the flames. From there, she plays the battle round by round, blasting away weakened individuals with her evocation spells and saving her enchantment spells for unscathed opponents.
Morale Malgana only flees if she perceives retreat to be a wise tactical choice. She has no fear of death and is not opposed to the idea of suicide missions as long her phylactery still stands. If captured, she deliberately tries to get herself killed so she can return to her phylactery.
Base Statistics Without silent stilled protection from good and silent stilled shield, Malgana’s stats are as follows:
AC 19 , touch 14 flat-footed 17 ;
Fort 3 , Ref 5 , Will 11
===== Statistics =====
Str 10, Dex 14, Con --, Int 14 , Wis 11 , Cha 19
Base Atk +5; CMB -3
Feats Craft Wondrous Item, Eschew Materials, Improve Initiative, Iron Will, Silent Spell, Spell Focus (Enchantment), Still Spell;
Skills Bluff +16 , Craft +9 , Diplomacy +15 , Intimidate +15 , Knowledge (arcana) +7 , Knowledge (local) +11 , Fly +11 , Perception +10 , Spellcraft +15 , Sense Motive +10 , Stealth +18
Languages Common, Giant, Goblin, Infernal
Gear circlet of persuasion, 7 ornate facial piercings (200 gp each)
SQ darkvision 60 ft., undead traits, resist fire 10
===== Special Abilities =====
Corrupting Touch (Su): Causes a creature touched to become shaken for 5 rounds. The target also suffers a -2 penalty on saves versus spells of the enchantment school.
Hellfire (Su): 1/day: Calls down a 10ft-radius pillar of fire that deals 11d6 damage. Those caught in the blast receive a Reflex save (DC 15 ) for half damage. Good creatures that fail their saves are shaken for 11 rounds.
Malgana’s Phylactery
AC 15, 80 hp, hardness 10
Malgana’s phylactery is the Black Oak, a hideous tree that stores her life essence.
If Malgana’s head or any of her prime organs are destroyed, they re-grow from the acorns of the Black Oak within 1d10 days. Beyond that, it is otherwise up to Malgana to put herself back together. The only way to permanently destroy Malgana is to find and fell the Black Oak where it is hidden, deep in a dangerous and unhallowed ravine.
If Malgana recovers any of her organs, her stat block and challenge rating are modified as follows:
Head: Malgana’s head is essentially her stat block as detailed above. Without a body and tongue, she must use Silent Spell and Still Spell to cast spells. (+0 CR)
Spine: If Malgana’s spine is reinserted into her stumped neck, she slowly regenerates a decrepit-looking body after resting for one entire day. This increases her size to Small, her Speed to 30, and she no longer requires Still Spell to cast spells (+1 CR).
Tongue: If Malgana’s tongue is reinserted into her mouth, she regains her speech and no longer requires Silent Spell to cast spells. (+1 CR)
Liver: Malgana must have a body to reinsert her liver, but if she does so, her maximum hp increases to 75 and she regains all the extraordinary abilities of a lich (+4 turn resistance and immunity to cold and electricity). Once she has her liver back, her body no longer appears frail and decrepit. (+1 CR)
Heart: Malgana must have a body to reinsert her heart, but if she does so, she regains the supernatural abilities of a lich (fear aura, paralyzing touch and DR 15/bludgeoning and magic). Once she has her heart back, her eyes glow like embers. (+1 CR)
Kobold Press
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A lich in 1600 words? Great! I liked the concept in the prior round, and I dive in hoping that the stats deliver.
On first inspection, the revised history and hooks really work. That first hook, in particular, is a great one as it helps Malgana and puts the onus for fixing the problem squarely on the PCs' shoulders.
On to the stats. The 55 hp is 16 below average for a lich at her level. Iron Will strikes me as a poor design choice, as it increases one of her existing strengths in saves rather than improving a weak spot.
On to spells... Using still silent fly spell is a beautiful mechanical underpinning for a floating head. And I was happy to see it noted under Speed. However, as I see more stilled silent spells coming up in the Tactics section, I'm concerned. How many levels is that metamagic? It's a bit of bookkeeping for the DM that I don't like; some helping text would have been great (As in "stilled silent spells take up a slot 2 levels higher than normal", just as a reminder.) Otherwise, you force the DM to check the rule book with a major NPC. This slows down play.
With a summon monster V as a major spell, I'd expect to see her preferred creature listed under tactics.
Finally, there's the phylactery and modular body parts. The stats there are simple and effective. Nice work.
Recommendation: Recommended to advance based on originality, and following through on a difficult premise. And to my fellow judges, let me just say, O Ye Of Little Faith.
Color me impressed. I was really hoping to see a rework of Malgana. I was hoping you wouldnt ditch this. And going from witch to lich--ah, that warms the heart of an old school gamer. Well done!
I'm not gonna cap on your for the 2 level bump for the still spell metamagic. For goodness sake, we have to presume DMs know some of the rules. And for this villain its a vital one.
But lets look further...
I have to say, I think you have done a great job addressing the major issues I had with your prior version of this villain. The body parts thing is now cool and she's not just a head. She's motivated. She has clearer goals. She is WAY more playable now.
I loved the tonge and silent spell and the still spell stuff. That showed some excellent mechanical dexterity from you. Very nice.
Last round I said "great idea but you didnt deliver." Well, I am so glad Paizo let people modify their villains because you definately did. I really think you have now delivered on the coolness that I saw in Malgana originally.
I appreciate and respect your growth between these two rounds.
I recommend Malgana to advance. In fact, I recommend Malgana quite a bit. She is really fun and playable now.
Description:
I like the updates to her description. I think she's actually usable as a villain now.
However....
She's not a sorceress. She's a sorcerer. There is no sorceress class. Female sorcerers may be called sorceresses, but in their stat block (which the name/class/level entry is technically part of, even though it's in a weird place for this competition) the class name is sorcerer. You wouldn't put "fighteress" or "wizardess" or "priestess" or "druidess" in a female character's stat block because those aren't class names. So you shouldn't put "sorceress" there, either. This is a Sean-nitpick, but I declare myself King of Nitpicks, and you are now in my domain!
Stat Block:
In spells known, you have a space between the — and the name of the first spell in each list; there should be no space there.
FYI, all readers, the provided stat block uses a double hyphen -- there because we'd normally use an em-dash — but sometimes that gets messed up in web browsers, so I used the double hyphen to avoid weird errors in everyone's entry. This entry correctly uses the em-dash (Kevin must have checked a Paizo product for the official format), and I'm not penalizing him for using the actual correct format.
You have some unnecessary semicolons ending some lines in the stat block.
Nice use of Silent Spell and Still spell to overcome her limitations.
Rule Element:
I like the effect of gaining her various parts. It's not something you could easily apply to another creature but it works fine for this unique villain.
Rec: advance, if you promise to never, ever, ever refer to the sorcerer class as "sorceress" in a stat block again.
Director of Game Design
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Severed Goblin Head Lich! Yes please. I really like the concept for this villain and I think the hooks tie in nicely to her overall theme. It is far too easy to go the "lich as a wizard who wanted to cheat death or gain power angle", so I am glad to see that this one is relatively unique (although it does remind me somewhat of another rather famous lich with severed parts).
On to the stats. "LE Tiny Undead goblin lich head ".. Ha! I am not sure that head is a creature type, but I am willing to run with it. That said, it should probably read "Lich, 11th-Level Goblin sorcerer (infernal)" followed by "LE Tiny undead (augmented humanoid)". Malgana's hit points are incorrect, even with the missing liver adjustment (her max hp with liver should be 115, due to gaining her Cha bonus to her hit points). Saves should read as "+5" not just "5". Natural armor should not be listed in defensive abilities. Her spells are listed in reverse order (high should come first). She appears to know one too many 5th levels spells (2 for 11th level, one bonus for bloodline), and her spells per day appear to be off by one for 1st through 3rd level (due to high Charisma) and none of these take into account the precast spells from her tactics (which would reduce her number remaining per day). Her CMB is incorrect (it should be +3, equal to +5 for BAB, –2 for size, see pg 150 of the Beta). Skills and languages appear to be correct.
I really like the new rules element here, making Malgana a collectable villain (gotta catch em all) and these rules fit with the concept perfectly.
If I were developing this monster for an adventure, there would be an average amount of work, but nothing that would require a serious rebuilding. On a personal note, despite these problems, this is my favorite villain of round 3 and I really do hope that you advance.
My Grade (on a 1-10 scale) is a 10 (because I like the concept just so much, if it were an average concept, I would give it a 7 based on the rules issues).
Jason Bulmahn
Lead Designer
Paizo Publishing
If her she lacks a tongue, her mouth is sewn shut and stuffed with oak leaves, how does she manipulate others and tell her minions what to do? I voted for Malgana anyway, but I would be interested in an answer to this (once voting ends and you are allowed to answer questions of course).
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I have a confession to make; last round, I didn't vote for your entry. I had reservations about what a severed head could actually do, and how you could make it seem to be an effective villain. Happily, you have proven my misgivings to be unfounded, and also made me laugh out loud with the line 'LE Tiny Undead goblin lich head'. Have one vote, on me!
If her she lacks a tongue, her mouth is sewn shut and stuffed with oak leaves, how does she manipulate others and tell her minions what to do? I voted for Malgana anyway, but I would be interested in an answer to this (once voting ends and you are allowed to answer questions of course).
I suspect that might be what the message and whispering wind in her spell selection are for. Now try not to think too hard about how she manages to cast suggestion...
Congrats! The feedback looks good, although I mourn for the loss of the witch/fairy tale angle.
The goblin lich in bits with the high kewl factor and low practicality factor from last round. The fluff's updated with newer, better ways to get her into the campaign. I don't like the change from Witch to Lich though, that's weak. But the implementation is awesome. The best so far! 8/10 and one of my votes.
Awesome. I didn't like the Twistwood Witch last time around, but the Twistwood Witch... now we're cooking with charcoal. Great way to revitalize your concept. I'm pretty sure you'll be getting one of my votes.
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What clark said. I HATED the witch head idea. You really turned this around. As is you get my last vote. Oh, and the Phylactery. maybe just me, but 80 hp isn't alot. especially if the PCs pass hardness. i might have gone with the Ironwood stats for a 1 fot diameter tree. Just me. Other then that. Beautiful.
I considered this one of the most interesting ideas last round but due to then highly problematic execution did not vote for it. And lo and behold, you have fixed the problems and put in a share of new goodness in this entry.
Here, kind sir, do take my vote, I insist.
But I do wonder what kind of lair can you figure out for next round...there hasn't been anything particularly lair-specific here so far. And I still wonder if those body parts have effects of their own, if found independently...
Kevin I gotta say you have my vote. I didn't really even give Malgana a read-through last round... but with what you've done to her this round... I agree with everyone... you've certainly kicked-it-up SEVERAL notches. Nicely Done.
Dean; the Minstrel_Wyrm
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But I do wonder what kind of lair can you figure out for next round...there hasn't been anything particularly lair-specific here so far. And I still wonder if those body parts have effects of their own, if found independently...
there is only onw posible... the area of the forest surrounding the Black Oak, the center of Malagana's Power...
Last round I didn't liked that much...now... well you make a pleading head into the Blair Witch Project, and I congratulate you...
ok I has 4 votes already given... and I am leaving Varush where it is... so you present me with an unique dilemma...
I like the witch and the Black Oak... I like the feeling of horror and darkness I canseeher creating...the dreadof the unknown... by a little head...
ooh my players would hate her, if suddenly they saw he flying they would think is a Vargouville :D
the other one gives me a new great divination spell, other an excellent elixir with an enormous cost... and 2 great villains... one of them with a new sorcerer's bloodline, the other with a decent feat...
I think the feat is losing :S I Blame Malgana, she is great...but I still prefer the Vampire Rakshasa with issues with reincarnation :P
I don't recall my exact reactions to Malgana from round 2, because I think stopped reading almost right away- I just couldn't get into it at all- and ya gotta trust your gut.
But this time? Aw dude! I loves me some Malgana. I can totally picture the Pathfinder module she'd appear in- the art, the maps, all the Paizo-ey goodness. That's gotta be a good sign, right?- that your entry is already making me eagerly visualize the published adventure?
And it's always inspiring to see growth and evolution. I like Malgana that much *more* because I *didn't* like her in the last round. That shows that you listen to people, that you're smart, you think on your feet - and - if I were an editor/publisher - would convince me that you would be very agreeable to work with.
I like Malgana, and I like Hecataeus. I hope you both go on to do really cool things in the RPG field, both during and after this contest.
One hands-down vote from me, yo.
M
I am a HUGE fan of Malgana. I really didn't see her as flawed, rather just overly detailed on one of the many ways she could be used.
I am very glad that Kevin took in the other peoples concerns and built up a the concept with utter rigger so that it would answer their fears.
I am very glad i trusted to my gut about the shard of true brilience i saw in Twistwood Witch and you will be getting my vote, hands down, no questions asked. I think your in with a very good chance of winning this.
I admit, I was definitely not a fan last round. I saw her as, as we say in our group, a "football" ... a mcguffin to be carried around and be a general annoyance until the party ditches it for other fun.
But, wow, you have totally turned her around :) I might have left the name alone, keeping her the Twistwood Witch (I like the imagery), but all the rest is a vast improvement. My hat is off to you!
Now here's to hope I can actually sleep tonight with the image of this floating icky horror show head bouncing around in my brainpan!
Jason says the skills are right, though I was wondering if she got the sorceress (sorry Sean <G>) levels after becoming a lich or before. If after, then her 44 points work, but if before, I thought the rule was that you didn't get to "back-figure" skill points for increases to INT? If you do (and that's how we house rule it) then no problem either way :)
I was a tad confused on the stats ... I see an unknown, a 10, 12, two 14s and a 9 ...
Over all, just ICK on this bad girl, and my players will hate you if I ever get to run this :) Kudos!
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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It's always inspiring to see growth and evolution. I like Malgana that much *more* because I *didn't* like her in the last round. That shows that you listen to people, that you're smart, you think on your feet - and - if I were an editor/publisher - would convince me that you would be very agreeable to work with.
Amen to this. I was a hater last round but I like her a lot this round. The growth is great, the stat block is super, the feat is fab. You did a very nice job of connecting mechanics with character, making mechanics SERVE character even in a complex stat block (not as easy as it sounds). Your build-a-villain concept works much better when the PCs are penalized for doing the obvious (destroying the head), and likewise the adventure hooks set up a parallel track, so PCs aren't presumed to "grow their own villain" while carrying the head around.
Anyway, it's a strong maybe from me. I'll have to check. Good luck!
I'm kind of disappointed that one of the plot hooks doesn't have the PCs dealing with those wacky Paizo goblins. There's so much comic gold there that's not explored. I'd like the vicious little whack-jobs to be a bit more prominent in this entry, which doesn't have that goblin feel to it. The goblins should have been the ones using her head as a ball, not the PCs!
Not to mention that I'd want to know what makes a Paizo goblin want to become a lich. What makes one of those little guttersnipes think that far ahead? Could she even count to 444 before becoming a lich?
(You may know me as the guy on the boards continually asking for a comedy adventure.)
While these are PROFOUND disappointments for me, I like the exponential growth shown by the Superstar, plus the gonzo creativity demonstrated in the prior round. You've got my vote again. If you make it to the adventure round, I'll be looking for a Paizo goblin hook.
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I'm kind of disappointed that one of the plot hooks doesn't have the PCs dealing with those wacky Paizo goblins. There's so much comic gold there that's not explored. I'd like the vicious little whack-jobs to be a bit more prominent in this entry, which doesn't have that goblin feel to it. The goblins should have been the ones using her head as a ball, not the PCs!
Not to mention that I'd want to know what makes a Paizo goblin want to become a lich. What makes one of those little guttersnipes think that far ahead? Could she even count to 444 before becoming a lich?
(You may know me as the guy on the boards continually asking for a comedy adventure.)
While these are PROFOUND disappointments for me, I like the exponential growth shown by the Superstar, plus the gonzo creativity demonstrated in the prior round. You've got my vote again. If you make it to the adventure round, I'll be looking for a Paizo goblin hook.
It's my hope that we'll learn Urgathoa turned her into a lich on a drunken dare, and is now regretting it.
She's got my vote this round too... you took an intriguing concept from last round, and turned her into an intriguing concept that works, thereby compounding the intriguingness. The plot hooks are better developed, with a more realistic approach to what PCs will and won't do.
That said, I'm not crazy about the name change. I don't see anything wrong with a lich being called a witch. I mean, a witch can become a lich. The Whispering Tyrant didn't change his name to "The Whispering Lich" when he got undead. The problem I have is that when we call her a lich, all of a sudden players know things about her, about what they need to expect and do. To the credit of the entry, a lot of what they'll expect won't be true yet, at least not until she gets her parts together, but they'll know to expect a Phylactery and likely want to go looking for it rather than waste time on a body-part hunt. Call it metagaming if you will... but in my experience, if my players think they know what a solution is, they'd rather not spend a half dozen sessions pretending they don't.
Wanted to say thanks to everyone for the feedback. I appreciate your votes!
I suspect that might be what the message and whispering wind in her spell selection are for
message is language dependent and requires you to actually speak, turning the message spell into some sort of telepathic communication is beyond the power of the silent spell feat (or should be IMO at least). I missed the WW spell in the spell selection though, and that seems to provide a bit of a way for her to interact.
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Made before reading any other comments.
Mechanics: Okay, except I'm not quite sure how Malgana gets a +3 Cha bonus from her infernal sorceress levels. From what I've read in the PF, she should only get two ability score bonuses. I absolutely love the missing organs mechanic, though. Very, very unique compared to the other new rules I've looked at thus far. It would have been nice to know the rolls or how you came up with the hp and the normal hp with her liver. Also, Malgana doesn't seem to have used all of her skill points. With 11 levels in druid and 4+2 (Int modifier) points per level, she should have 66 skill points, not 44 (as I counted). Malgana should have one more feat (if Iron Will is from HD, then she should have a bloodline feat). She should also have an additional spell slot per day from her 18 Charisma (6 for 11th level sorceress+1 18 Charisma), along with all of the other spell levels up to 4th (7 slots each per day). Only the 5th-level spell slots are accurate. Also, it appears Malgana has an extra spell known for 5th level (she should only have 2 plus dominate person, and lesser planar binding is a 4th level spell [take it out, and the problem is solved]). Of course, she can't even cast 4th level or 5th level spells until she gets her tongue or spine back. I also just noticed that goblins have a -2 to Cha, which means the +2 from lichdom is canceled out (give her elite scores or something, or a special magic item to fix it?). In the stat block, you failed to include the paralyzing touch and fear aura, too. Apart from these errors, good mechanics. Out of 10: 4
Fluff: Above-average. One problem is that we don't get a lot of information about her personality, but Malgana has a strong feel to her, and the reader is ultimately interested. I mean, flying, mummified goblin head? The only other place where I've seen anything about lich body parts is in a Dragon creature catalog (I can't remember the number and I'm too lazy to go find it), which has a little spider in a skull called a “crawling shiver.” Malgana's flavor easily surpasses that of the shiver. I was a bit worried about the tree phylactery (since Aelfric Dreamslayer used the same idea), but it fits perfectly with Russian mythology with the acorns turning into her head and such. Gotta love the new ideas with the missing body parts. It would be interesting if the heroes destroyed her liver or something and she started to regrow. You may have drawn on other people's work, but the uniqueness totally cancels it out. (Oh, I just thought of vargouilles...) Better fluff than the one other submission I've read this round. Out of 10: 8
Playability: Great. I can easily imagine an evil DM using Malgana on the PCs, who wonder what in the hells she is (as long as they haven't read this, of course). They destroy her head, but she just regrows and continues to search for her spine. It's fun to devise adventures with Malgana, whose constant motive in everything she does is to find her organs. Also, I love that she's a goblin. Goblins never seem to get to high levels, but this one did by killing rats and stuff until she got to 2nd level, then went after bigger game (just kidding). One problem I have is her tonguelessness. She needs a tongue so she can taunt the PCs, otherwise they're going to taunt her. Or maybe telepathy, because her charm person and suggestion won't work too well without being able to communicate with her minions. All she'll be able to do is blast the PCs with magic. She could really do with an item that let her talk to anyone to use her spells and ranks in Diplomacy, Bluff, and Intimidate to their full effect. I'd go out on a limb to say that without her tongue, Malgana should have a -2 or even -3 to her CR to make up for this. Besides the tongue problems (no, this isn't a promotion for the Stones...), her playability is exceptional. I love the concept, there's just many errors in the stat block which aren't apparent when you're writing it. Out of 10: 7
Overall: I love this villain, who is assuredly villainous. The flavor is exceptional. The problem is with the stat block. I hope you get my vote, but I still have 14 more submissions to read. Good luck! Total, out of 30: 19
This is MUCH improved over round 2, and hints at the genius you showed with the Spider Hook in round 1. You have fixed most (but not all) of my objections in round 2, and I thank you for it.
My favorite part of this was your "new rule", which seems to be my favorite part of most of the submissions. You found a story-driven way to increase Malgana's statblock threat to the PC's. Nicely done. As the party increases in level, she gets more of her bits-and-pieces back and increases her threat (and CR).
I still have an objection to the party helping Malgana (plot #3), so points off for that. They are just not going to fall for it. The Silent Spell/Still Spell combo was a no-brainer (because of the lack of hands and movable mouth), and I would have been dissapointed if you hadn't done it. So that's a "push" (to use a Blackjack term). However, you took our suggestions to heart and got rid of the "unkillable" bit from round 2 (which I hated), gave her a minion (someone else suggested this), and made her a Lich instead of a Ghast (which makes more sense). Also, nice catch to increase the Sorcerer level to 11 so that she could be a lich. Positive points for all that.
Also, I like that her phylactery is "hidden" in plain sight. Most PC's will be looking for a box, gem, amulet, or some other item. Will they be able to "see the forest for the trees"? Technically, a phylactery needs to be an item, not a living thing (like a tree), but I'm willing to ignore that and include it with the other bits about regaining her body parts, into one gigantic "new rule". One minor nitpick is that I would have described the tree in more detail. The example phylactery in the MM describes a metal box containing strips of parchment with magical phrases. Perhaps the Black Oak has magical symbols carved into the bark? Maybe that is coming in the next round, but if it's her phylactery, it should be included here.
Overall, nice job. I still have more to read, but this is a contender.
I have read and re-read (and on few entries, several times after that) all entries, and one thing I could definitely say for this one, it sticks to my head like white on rice. Even while at work, Malgana seems to float within my memory much like her severed-albeit-floating head. She reminds me of a very gory Brothers Grimm fairy tale, and when I say very gory, I meant not for children under the age of 18 and of the faint of heart specially those who had a heart transplant or pacemakers installed.
Another one of those entries that made good use of this round and turned their so-so character into so-damn-good character. Nice job on reworking your villain. I'm not much into stats but I do read and reference what the judges and voters say. Well done and hope to see you next round.
Vote: 2 of 4
TL
Made before reading any other comments.
Mechanics: In the stat block, you failed to include the paralyzing touch and fear aura, too. Apart from these errors, good mechanics. Out of 10: 4
Actually, she only gets those powers if she gets her heart back.
Otherwise, I'm impressed. Only one or two other people are going through stat blocks with a fine tooth comb.
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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Congratulations on Superstar '09 Top 16!
Growth
The writing for Malgana doesn't seem tightened any. The description seems rushed and doesn't give juicy details that make me want to play her. She's like one of those advenutre hooks in a gazeteer that you read a bit, skip over, and turn the page. She needs to be exciting and dangerous. If your hooks were creepier, that would be different. But there's really no horror in her presentation. I get the feeling things just aren't going to work out for her and she'll never really be dangerous. I know that's not your intention, so focus on making her villainy come to life.
Again - she is a passive villain. Things keep happening to her, even with her changes. I do appreciate that her presence in the campaign is signicifcantly less dependent on the party doing all her work for her. Shows that you listened.
I think a missing plot hook is that Malgana controls something the PCs need - she threatens some fate or knows where something is. The efforts to help make her mobile again are hindered by a tribe of wicked goblins, led by the very shaman that betrayed her.
Mechanics
-As we have all learned now, Pathfinder adjusts CR down 2 for PC class levels. Malgana's CR should be 7, if you buy the -1 per organ thing. More on that when I get to it.
-Appreciate the color change in the stat block. Not many have done that so far.
-How is it your Hp for 11d12 are only 55? Should be 115 [(6.5*11)+44]
-I can't do it. I give you a little credit for trying to make something unusual, but I get to the liver and I just can't anymore. When a lich's body is destroyed, it comes back. You've arranged it so she still suffers dismemberment. But then the liver/heart addition is completely arbitrary. A lich survives just fine without a liver. Without some description of the curse that makes the lich function this way, and maybe the opposition to her assembly the PCs would encounter, I struggle to take this villain seriously enough to present to my players.
-I'm not as concerned about the metamagic as some others. It is acceptible in that your villain can't survive without those, but a problem in that...your villain has huge weaknesses.
-fly and the metamagic feats are pretty obvious moves to me, but it shows that fair mechanics can brighten a conept that seems really flawed until you get to the encounter. You did improve a lot, just maybe not enough for me personally.
New Hotness
A living tree as a phylactery is weird. A better design might have been a feat that mitigates metamagic costs. I'd drop Iron Will and give her something like: Metamagic mastery When you cast a spell modified by more than one metamagic feat, reduce that spell's modified spell level by one. Casting a spell with this feat is a full-round action.
Well..it needs work, but I am just trying to give an example.
Overall
You improved significantly in terms of hooks and playability for Malgana. I still think the name needs work, but I grant you he's one of the better submissions in the "guy i wouldn't really use myself" category.
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Made before reading any other comments.
Mechanics: In the stat block, you failed to include the paralyzing touch and fear aura, too. Apart from these errors, good mechanics. Out of 10: 4
Actually, she only gets those powers if she gets her heart back.
Otherwise, I'm impressed. Only one or two other people are going through stat blocks with a fine tooth comb.
Oh yeah... I had read that part, but it just sorta slipped my mind, as I put the paralyzing touch part in after all the other mechanic stuff. Thanks for pointing it out!
And yes... I have been going through submissions with a fine-toothed comb. I hope I'll get through them all by Monday.|
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Overall
You improved significantly in terms of hooks and playability for Malgana. I still think the name needs work, but I grant you he's one of the better submissions in the "guy i wouldn't really use myself" category.
It's a she, not a he! Just because she can't speak for herself and has to use fly spells to move around doesn't mean you can debase handicapped people!
It's a she, not a he! Just because she can't speak for herself and has to use fly spells to move around doesn't mean you can debase handicapped people!
Ah, give him a break. After all, it's just a head. Hard to tell the gender from just a severed goblin head. Can you tell one goblin head from another?
:)
EDIT: Maybe you can. After all, you are "Gark the Goblin".
:P
How is it your Hp for 11d12 are only 55? Should be 115 [(6.5*11)+44]
If you give her max HP for that 1st HD, its even higher. 12 +(6.5*10) +44 = 121
Maybe he meant her HP increases an additional 75 which would make it 130 HP. Closer to the average, and I for one don't think a villan needs to be exactly average (I know from the comments that I am in the minority on this).
However, you make a good point. If he meant an additional 75, that's what should have been said. If he meant what he said, then that's too low. Either way, it's a mistake.
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It's a she, not a he! Just because she can't speak for herself and has to use fly spells to move around doesn't mean you can debase handicapped people!Ah, give him a break. After all, it's just a head. Hard to tell the gender from just a severed goblin head. Can you tell one goblin head from another?
:)
EDIT: Maybe you can. After all, you are "Gark the Goblin".
:P
You got that right. I can chew on a piece of hair and tell if it's a male or a female, just by the hormones. She's handicapped, for Goblin's sake!
(Goblin isn't actually a god, but it sounds cooler that way, as opposed to Maglubiyet in core D&D or Lamashtu in PF)|
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
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Kevin, way to channel Letterman on the upgrade from witch to lich. I was not a big fan of Malgana last round, but you really turned it around with R3. If the PCs destroy the head as many commenters said they would, now as a lich, she comes back, and can go on her own body scavenger hunt. The alternate hooks really go a long way to give her versatility. Each of these is an option to introduce her, but with her re-assembly quest, you've got a built in series of adventures featuring her. My only complaint in the description section is that I would have really liked to know what she does if she succeeds in reclaiming all of her parts. It says that she'll go after the nearby human loggers, but beyond that, what? Once she does that, does she just chill in the Twistwood and lord it over the goblins?
Her stat block is pretty clean. There's the hp problem, and the spells in reverse and the extra 5th level spell too. She has a good mix of offensive, defensive and misc. spells, and should be able to hold her own against appropriate level foes. The big concern I have is that she's under geared. I understand that when first found, she wouldn't have a lot, but I'd want to know what she's got once she recovers her cahces of magic (maybe some at her phylactery?)
The new mechanic is a perfect fit for the villain, which is good and helps define how she's unique. She's perfectly made fo a campaign arc - as she gets more powerful as the PCs do. I can easily imagine them fighting her once for each of her stages of re-growth, and then having a final battle against the complete version at the Black Oak.
I'm halfway through the entries this round, and I'd say she has my 3rd vote so far, but not as strongly a lock as the other two. There's a fair chance she gets bumped off my personal votes, but I hope to see what you do next round, regardless.
Impressive.
I like the reimagining. Now she is a clearly usable villainess.
Now, with just some tightening up of the Stat Block, you would be completely first rate.
(And sorry, I am an "old school" hold out and I do just both Sorceress and Priestess.)
Even so, this is a very good candidate for what I am finding to be my very precious four votes.
P.S.--bring back Malgana, The Twistwood ***WITCH***
Leave the stats as is and all that, keep her as a lich, but just change the title. It rocks so much harder. ;)
I hereaby agree, calling her a witch doesn't exludes lichdom :D
And throwing my support on this one too, Witch was better title.