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The game simply isn't designed around balancing the classes against each other. It is balanced around a cooperative party of them facing challenges.

Yes, that Lich can go hardcore Gygaxian on them, pull every dirty trick in the book out, and probably literally smash them. If he does, then the players have the right to look at the DM and say "WTF, dude?" The DM can ALWAYS overpower any given encounter and ensure his players lose. DMs that do that are generally considered dicks.

High-level casters are hell, and the game pretty much assumes a standard group will be packing one or two. A DM with an all-martial group will need to account for it in his planning.

If a DM moves to using dice rolls to force "friendly" character action, the players will immediately know something is up.

The local bartender doesn't use Diplomacy checks to chisel an extra copper out of them as a tip.

No, she needs to actually do them favors, and be a real ally. That is the only way for the betrayal angle to work.

This old problem.

The issue here is importing our modern, complicated notions of the words "Good" and "Evil" into a world where morality is a fully realized, divine or semi-divine force. In our world, good and evil are debatable. In Pathfinder, Good and Evil define your character in an objective sense.

You can certainly play DnD/Pathfinder "straight," which means you accept the moral precepts it lays down. Some creatures are, in fact, evil. Evil should be destroyed. This allows you to go about your campaign without wondering about these moral quandries. You kill evil things and take their stuff. A horrible way to exist in our world, certainly, but in Pathfinder, that makes you a hero, because evil is bad.

If you want to discard that notion entirely, and treat alignment as a moral code you aspire to (like in our world) rather than an inherent force that places a mark on your soul, go for it. If you enjoy the kind of dilemma you are facing right now, then by all means import all the moral/ethical BS from our world.

The important thing is you agree with the table about which version of the game you are playing. Never cross the streams. If the Paladin is going hardcore Gygaxian, vaguely racist genocide, and the Wizard is planning on clucking his tongue and demanding that the DM have him fall every five minutes nobody is going to have fun.

So, take five minutes before your next session and ask, OC, which kind of Pathfinder you want to play. Maybe your DM should just lay down the law on what good and evil mean, and go from there.

Honestly, if you didn't let a newbie Monk with Wisdom 10 move some stuff around, I would say you are too harsh.

There are a lot of moving parts to Pathfinder, and punishing new players for not instantly assimilating all of it will only result in pain, and make it less likely they want to play in the future.

It's a game, and everyone is supposed to have fun. You allowed for fun. That's a good thing.