Artemis Entreri

The Grey Mouser's page

67 posts. Alias of Patrick Curtin.


1 to 50 of 67 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | next > last >>

fafhrd! I can't see you in this crowd!

Is it Khatti?

Fafhrd? Are you in yon gaggle of freaks?

Ogiva the Nightbinder wrote:

"Lad, I already have enough gold coin," he says as he looks at Grey Mouser with an amused smile. "I deal in information and knowledge. If you're seeking answers, then I need information in return, rumors perhaps, or the outright facts will do."

The Grey Mouser grins and withdraws the coin

"Well said! I myself am an avid procurator of knowledge, information, gossip, lies, innuendo and fabrications of all stripes. I can tell you about a shocking story I heard from Lady Belthames' body servant that she let slip while drunk at the Pumpkin Festival. It seems this servant had been called upon to procure the services of a mute barber and .."

The Grey Mouser launches into a highly-embellished story about Lady Belthames, her servant, a mute barber, several drunken priests of Bacchus, an androgynous flautist.

The diminutive swarthy cloaked man leans into Ogiva. A gold coin of respectable size appears upon the bar between them

"Aye good sirrah, we seek information pertaining to our client's shop and an attack he suffered recently by one of those dark-skinned elves known as 'drow'. Specifically, what the merchant Muulsh's shop held that the drow wanted, what the shop had been in the past, and the identity and whereabouts of said attacker now."

The Grey Mouser looks down.

"It seems someone has left you a tip, sirrah."

He slides the gold piece over

"I'm sure many like it can be had for the right information."

The smaller cloaked figure frowns

"HIST! You clumsy oaf! Would you bring down every cutpurse and streetwalker on our heads? A bit of finesse is required for investigations such as this. I should heve figured a scruffy barbarian would not know how to go about a bit of civilized skullduggery."

Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser amble over to the group arounf Tristan and Lk.

If you are well, young master, we will be on our way.

These ill-formed wights put up a good fight, but I feel they will be tiring soon Fafhrd!

The Grey Mouser smiles, letting the verbose barbarian do the talking while he readies Cat's Claw and watches their back

The Grey Mouser sits bemusedly at a table with his companion Fafhrd.

I've not seen anything like this place, even in the jaded subterranian sorcerous city of Quarmall, eh Fafhrd?

The Mouser arrives. He and Fafhrd exchage a manly hug and backslap

Good to see you old friend! He cries

The Mouser surveys the ruined guildhall. The dracolich has gone, taking the piles of swag with him to some new lair. The slight man frowns.

We need our guildmaster ... He holds the Jack's Trimillenial post!

Hollers out

Crimson Jester! Are you here?

The Mouser lights up

HAH! We have that walking tin can now!


Of course finding the Crimson One isn't always easy ...

The Mouser frowns

Perhaps we should fight fire with fire. This creature runs on stolen Jack energy, perhaps there is some Jack energy we can use to counter it. Who posted the last millenial on this thread?

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:

I'm going to destroy it. Is everybody with me? *takes PJ's elephant gun with him*

You can count on my steel!

Shakes a few embers from his cloak

No fear my masked friend. By all that is holy I will assist you in mounting that thing's head on our guildhall's mantle. This I swear.

The Grey Mouser leaps from hiding and sinks Cat Claw into the contruct.

HAH! Take that clanking clunker!

Walks into the clubhouse

Does anyone know where that beast Candle Lighter lairs?

Hey, what's an unemployed nerd supposed to do while the wifey's out working? It's better than drinking a twelve pack and watching WWF on TV, right?

hee hee ... except I'm not Candle Lighter ...that's KC. Get the schizos straight Davi!

Lead the way Masked One!

The Masked Rogue wrote:

See?!? Every time it gets stolen, this happens! Watch, all our gold has been transmuted to lead.

So, you loot the dracolich's hoard, and I tangle with the Tin Czar?

The Mouser gets up

That sounds like a good plan B. Where does this creature live?

Meh. It's all good. I was going to have him do some negotiations and end up playing CL for a fool, but these things are hard to coordinate.

The Mouser flies back and crashes into a table

My retirement heist!

By Kos! What in the seven eyes of Ninguable was that?

Ascends the stairs, then sees his comrade afire

Masked one! Are you all right?

Puts his companion out with a bucket of water

What did this?

A grey-clad figure enters the Crimson Crime Clubhouse. He descends the stairs to the the heavily-warded loot sanctum in the cellar. He closes and locks the bank-vault like door and places his prize in a velvet-lined box on a table in the center of the room. Piles of gold and jewels from previous heists glisten around him.

Just lying on the ground! By Mog and Kos I shall get a pile of Rilks for this beauty! But careful, oh so careful, things such as this can bite of handled incorrectly. Lucky we have this high-security warded vault for just such a heist!

Chortles greedily

The cleaver buzzes in its new cushioned home

Faugh. Enough of this. The pickings were better among the sots at the Silver Eel. Farewell fellow rogues!

Departs in a swirl of grey mouseskin cape, Stage Left.

The Mouser looks affronted

Well, I had spied a talking frog, and naturally with my innate showmanship I had thought I could parley him into a travelling exhibition. Maybe make the long trip to Cold Corner and impress the rubes...errr..noble barbarians with this wonder. Alas, that frog had some large irritable, rich, wand-weilding friends.

And for the record. I am not 'Lawful' in anything I do, thank you.

AH! A thieves' guildmaster! I have often crossed swords with that ilk before. Tell me, what is his concern? Do you owe him a cut of loot? Is he out to make an example of you? We can always turn the tables on him ...

The Mouser picks his fingernails with Cat's Claw and grins evilly.

Who is this Godfather person you discuss?

Empties large pile of gold into wall safe, shuts and locks it.

Claps his hands togeter

A marvelous exposition CJ. I am reminded of a rhyme one of my admirers once circulated throughout Lankhmar City about me:

The city lifts black roof-shields to the stars
And shuts the jungle out with mortised stones
And seals the scents of flowers in glass jars
And locks Earth's secrets up in brass-clapsed tomes
No satyr may live there, no faun survive
The stench and clangor of each crowded street.
The white-fanged beasts cannot contrive
To gnaw an entrance through its black concrete.

Yet 'mongst the gargoyles on the slated roofs
One grey-masked face peers down with living grin
That mocks the scurry of the city's floor
Two grey-gloved hands tease ope' the library's door
And break the ponderous books and scribble in
Footnotes that give lie to all the proud proofs.

I always liked that one.

Hands CJ a brimming bag of gold

Here's the cut from earlier.

Dodges the small scaly one's blow with cat-like reflexes

Now now, no sour grapes. You got your frog back.

The Mouser shrugs

All that for a frog. Ah well, at least their visit wasn't wasted.

Don't read this one neither:

Sits at the table and pores through the loot he lifted from the folks what looked at the first spoiler (and you know darned well who you are) :P

The Mouser, sensing that luck and numbers are not on his side, smiles and bows

Indeed I did not realize that this erudite amphibian had so many burly friends. Please, take him with my compliments. CJ, if you would?

Gestures to Crimson Jester.

No one read the spoiler below:

Anyone reading this has had their pockets picked and didn't notice until much later :P

What in the name of Mog's four divine limbs is this fracas?

Unsheathes Cats Claw and dives for a defensible spot

Enters the clubhouse carrying a box. Muffled sounds emerge from it

Greeting fellow rogues! I have returned after an extended tour of Hoborixen and Quarmaal! I hope you all have been well?

Places the box on a handy table and strips the cardboard away revealing a birdcage containing a coughing frog

I bring a wonder with me as a new mascot for our clubhouse! A talking frog!

The Grey Mouser swoops in, grabs the now-shut box and departs quickly in a swirl of obscuring ninja smoke

A shadowy figure steals into the frog pond. He stealthily places a large box on the ground. A sign reading: Dr. Rhadagast's Consumptive Curative! Free samples inside! is placed on the top op the box. A small frog-sized opening is angled in its front.

The Mouser brushes himself off as best as he can and drinks a bit of brandy fron the flask on the table before him.

"Well it has been entertaining friends, but I think I will try the fabled city of Horborixen next. The loot and entertainment here seems a bit dry."

The Grey mouser departs the Crimson Crime headquarters with a flourish of his ratskin cape.

The Grey Mouser wakes up to find his head stuck to the table by dried brandy.

"By Mog the many limbed! Who has bound me so cruelly?"

He managed to unseal his head from the table.

"Oh my aching head! I will never drink brandy again as long as I live!"

Looks aound

"Where did everyone go?"

Looks up from the puddle of fire brandy his head was lying in

Huhnh? Whazzat? More wine!

Passes back out

Tosses handfull of gold coins at the Masked Rogue

"Fetch us some dancing girls from the Entertainer's Guild masked one!"

Tosses a handfull of gold at Admiral Ackbar

"You there! Yes you with the wall eye! Be a sport and fetch a cask of fire brandy from the local public house!"

Flips a Rilk at the Thread Vampie

"You just find something useful to do."

The Grey Mouser returns with a large sack of golden coins.

"Behold my brothers! I just had to snatch the jewels away from that king on his thread, and he paid me off with a fat purse of golden Rilks!"

Sits down at the table and begins to sort the coinage.

"Drinks are on me!"

The hooded man replaces the jewels with a smile

"I am glad this little test of your security went well, Your Excellency. If you ever have need to test your guards' readiness again, please feel free to call upon the Crimson Guild."

Pockets the hefty pouch of gold offered as a bribe

A silent figure slinks along the far wall, his face hidden in shadow. Spying the royal Crown Jewels left carelessly at King David's throne, he snatches them and runs out the door.

Indeed. A robbery of titled fools is doubly sweet. I will go scout.

Exits ..stage left

Who let all these strange creatures into our Theives' Guild? We need to plan our next heist fellows! I have a bar tab to pay at the Sliver Eel!

Waves the blue smoke away, coughing

Drat. Ningauble has given me another useless spell. I'll tie his seven eye stalks in a bow the next time I see his corpulent frame.

Perhaps one of my wizardry scrolls will rid us of this pestiferous pontificating piston packer.

Searches through several crumbly parchment papers.


By rune of dread and sigil dire
By water wet and dragon's fire
By the seven signs of Ghosthel-Ro
I command thee now to turn and go!

A puff of blue smoke surrounds the Mouser. A faint coughing can be heard.

1 to 50 of 67 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | next > last >>