DM His Mighty Girthness's page

The tunnel itself was a twisting and turning affair. Every once in a while, a strange glyph was etched into the cave side, eerily illuminated by the glowing moss growing inside it, creating glowing pictures of marine animals and spiral shaped. It continued on for several hundred feet after opening to a wider passage, with a large hole spanning the cave’s width and stretching ten feet down the path.

1d6 ⇒ 2

The pit was flooded with water, with a small bundle of cloth floating in it.

Boon Rolls:

DMK: 1d20 ⇒ 12
Chuffyl: 1d20 ⇒ 10
Mog: 1d20 ⇒ 16
Poog: 1d20 ⇒ 12
Reta: 1d20 ⇒ 10

Boon of players choice on a natural roll of 1 or 20
**Re-Rolls not allowed on boons**

No boons, pity.

Mogmurch, can you tell me what pfs# you want to apply the chronicle to?

Headless goblin is indeed chief Gnawsparrow. He still wearing his armour! It very good, but it did not help him.

That all there is to find, and goblins leave making big bonfire of Pa Munchmeat hut. Goblins the best! Goblins victorious!

That's pretty much the end of it. I'll prepare the chronicles and report. Thanks for all the fun and zany antics!

Will: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

Reta big! Reta mad! Reta stab Guffy, and Guffy almost dead. Then Poog say nasty stuff about Guffy to Zarongel, and it does make Guffy dead.

Combat over

Next room is a big filthy kitchen. A huge, bloodstained table sits in the center of this filthy kitchen, and to the south lies a heap of furs arranged in the rough approximation of a mattress. The place reeks of rotten meat from numerous poorly executed taxidermy projects that lie scattered around the room, including partially stuffed pigs, birds, bobcats, and even a goblin body with a mass of bloody straw and sticks protruding from its neck instead of a head.

Don't need to roll an attack roll for the gourd, the ogre kin gets a reflex save

Will: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (14) + 1 = 15
RFX: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (9) + 1 = 10

Guffy moans in a slow, brain-damaged voice Kill goblins with biggest head first, and then proceeds to try and do exactly that.

Attack, Morningstar, Reta: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (13) + 8 = 211d8 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10

----
Reta
Chuffy
Poog
Mog
---
Ferret - Dead
Guffy (14)
---

Chuffy jump behind ferret, and slice creature in back. It bleed a lot, and stop moving. Reta shoots arrow into ugly ogre woman, and it hit it in the leg. And make fire!

----
Reta
Chuffy
Poog
Mog
---
Ferret - Dead
Guffy (8)
---

Will: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21

Mog make good boom against surprised ferret, and Poog bring bad vibes to room! Ferret angry, and bite at Poog. It rip at Poog with nasty pointy teeth

Attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 2 = 171d6 ⇒ 5 Plus bleed, 1d3 per round

Door open and ugly ogre kin woman step out. It pa daughter Guffy! It come to kill goblins!

----
Reta
Chuffy
Poog
Mog
---
Ferret (9)
Guffy
---

Poog manages to kick in door, and behind it is filthy chamber.

he floor of this filthy chamber is made of rough floorboards. Numerous gaps between them show a dark space below the building. A large pile of furs and straw is heaped to the south, and a huge trap door sits in the very center of the room. To the west, a single ill-fitting door hangs askew on a single hinge.

Inside is big ferret, nearly 7 feet long. It growls as goblins come into room!

----
Poog
Mog
---
Weasel
---
Reta
Chuffy
---

I'm sorry, I meant to say that it was jammed

-Posted with Wayfinder

Only way into last room is through door what is locked.

There more to explore, there is exit to room to roof.

Or you can just light up the place and call it a day, your call.

More blasts! More sound! More stabs!

Chuffy and Poog blast and stab, and make Pa bleed. Until he lies on the floor! Pa mincemeat is dead! You best goblins!

Combat over

There is six more potions of fire burping here. An a dead wolverine, what is wearing an amulet, a sack of straw and a large, badly made, taxidermic dire corby.

Pas completely stunned after sound blast of Poog. Chuffy try to make holes in Pa, but it not work.

--
Mog
Poog
Chuffy
---
Pa (35)
---
Reta
Mog
Poog
Chuffy
---
Pa (35)
---

Fort: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (2) + 10 = 12

It again loud, but Pa still not stopping...

--
Mog
Poog
Chuffy
---
Pa (35)
---
Reta
---

Mog tosses bomb at Pa, but only manages to land bomb near pa feet. It still blast him. Chuffy much better, he shoot bolt, he hit pa! It hurt very much!

Fort: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (15) + 10 = 25

--
Mog
Poog
Chuffy
---
Pa (32)
---
Reta
---

Fort: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (15) + 10 = 25

Reta light first fire on Pa, and Poog make deafening bang!

--- Surprise Round---
Chuffy
Reta
Mog
Poog
---
Mog
Poog
Chuffy
---
Pa (17)
---
Reta
---

Below trapdoor is large room.

The dominant feature of this room is a large bed—really nothing more than a nest made of old mattresses, loose straw, and mud. The fleas swarming on the “bed” are obvious from several feet away. A large hole in the western wall opens out onto the lower roof of the house, and a single trap door sits in the ceiling above.

Inside, it huge ogur! It Pa Munchmeat. Quick, throw fire!

--- Surprise Round---
Chuffy
Reta
Mog
Poog
---
Mog
Poog
Chuffy
---
Pa
---
Reta
---

Will: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 22
Will: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20

Vulture squals loudly as Reta shoot arrow in oversized turkey. Poog then make vultures all spooky, and withers feathers. Birds still ready to feast on goblins, but Mog much faster, and throw bomb at vultures. It like a pillow fight, but without pillows - feathers everywhere. And vultures dead!

Combat over

Reta climb up shack.

Shack not hard to climb up. DC 10 is enough

A flat, circular cupola with a sagging roof sits atop the house. Its floor is splattered with bird droppings.

There two turkey cultures here. They eat only dead goblins, so they try to make goblins dead.

---
Mog
Poog
Reta
Chuffy
--
Vulture
Vulture
---

Goblins try to push at door, but door push back. It not open.

Luckily, there other ways in. There small hut on roof...

Second floor of big, wooden house with straw roof and all wooden panelling what burn easily, can be reached by ramp. Door is stuck badly, and needs strength to open.

DC 16 Str to open

Goblins finally get act together, and slice and dice and ignite bear owl. Chuffy get free, only to turn back and see owlbear dead on the floor

Combat over!

Chuffy now want to be hugged, but bear to it all the same. It a bit painful. Chuffy head get quite red, ready to pop

Damage: 1d6 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6

Big bear try to bite chuffy as well, but that don't work

Bite, Chuffy: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (3) + 8 = 11

---
Mog
Poog
Chuffy
Reta
---
Owlbear (36)
---

Mog very careful evading everything owlbear does. Chuffy less careful, but nobody manages to hit owlbear.

Bite, Chuffy: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (13) + 8 = 211d6 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6
Claw, Chuffy : 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 271d6 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9
Claw, Chuffy : 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (9) + 8 = 17

Grab, Chuffy : 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (20) + 8 = 28

Owlbear attack chuffy. It bite, then make big attack with claw. Then it try to be friend! It grab chuffy in big hug!

Chuffy is grappled by the owlbear

---
Mog
Poog
Chuffy
Reta
---
Owlbear (32)
---

Fort: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (16) + 10 = 26

Mog still evading owlbear as Reta shoot normal - which is not as hurty as other arrows - and Poog make big, big sound of MNAaaaAAaaaAARHHH at owlbear. It hurt owlbear, but it not stop owlbear.

---
Mog
Poog
Chuffy
Reta
---
Owlbear (32)
---

Chuffy keeps trying to poison big bear owl

Fort: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (3) + 10 = 13

and Reta keeps firing arrow. It hit big bear between feathers, and much blood comes from wound!

Bear looks bit less strongnow. It still attack Mog with big MNAAAARHH!

Claw: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18
Bite: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (1) + 8 = 9
Bite: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (13) + 8 = 21

It bite and claw at Mog, but Mog just dance away each time!

---
Mog
Poog
Chuffy
Reta
---
Owlbear (24)
---

You can five ft step while on total defense, no problem

Poog scorch feather of owlbear with fire bolt. Owlbear just say MNAAARH. Mog just wait until danger is away.

---
Mog
Poog
Chuffy
Reta
---
Owlbear (14)
---

Your options are
- some kind of shed in the south (area 2)
- the lower entry to the hut in the middle (on the south side)
- a higher entry to the hut
- climbing on top of the hut
- setting the hut on fire.

Dog is hit, and blasted to pieces. It show once again: bomb better than dog.

Combat over

Chuffy jump over dog, then stab from behind. It look very classy.

---
Mog
Poog
Chufft
Reta
---
Rotty (10)
---

Reflex: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (16) + 4 = 20

Poog throw ball of fire, and make big flaming mess of henhouse! Much clucking can be heard! Big panic!

Dog get burnt too, but manages to hide behind henhouse to avoid most of blast. Reta slice dog with much hate, but too little aim.

---
Mog
Poog
Chufft
Reta
---
Rotty (6)
---

Reta hear clucking in hen house, but then also barking! It big dog come running out. Time to slice some dog!

It run at Reta, then bite!

Bite, reta: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 231d4 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

--
Mog
Poog
Chufft
Reta
---
Rotty
---

The gourd be gourds of fire burping. You swallow what's inside and you can burp fire, once (For 2d6 damage, Reflex 12 for half)

There be clucking from henhouse, and there's a big house in the middle. Made of wood.

With big pig dead, it much easier toppers. There is exit to boat on other side.

If goblins want eggs with bacon, there clucking coming from henhouse (Area 4)

Before pig can answer, it bacon.

Combat over

Big, dead, pig has two gourds around neck.

Reflex, Squealy: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (13) + 3 = 16
Reflex, Princess Crackling: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 22

Poog throw fire into pigsty before Reta can move in. It fry Squealy Nord. It now Squeaky Bacon. Other Pig pretty mad, though...

---
Mog
Poog
Reta
Chuffy
---
Princess Crackling
---

An upturned boat, an old river barge by the look of it, sits in the mud here. The boat’s stern has been built into the fence, and a large hole has been smashed in the southern side to provide entrance to the dark hollow created by the hull.

Inside are two pigs: a big lazy one, and a smaller one. Getting to other side means having to squeeze past big pig.

Big pig goes down in series of stabs and fire attack. It very dead, and smell of bacon. And pig poo.

Combat over

Goblins now near munchmeat farm:

Surrounded by a rickety wooden fence and thick mud, Munchmeat Farm slumps in a soggy valley between two low tors. A slimy-looking creek winds through the farm, which is barely anything to look at. A house in the center of the fenced-in area leans against two hefty buttresses holding up three large beams. It’s balanced on numerous thick log stilts that create a cage-like hollow in the mud below the building. North of the house are a few filthy chicken coops, and to the west an upturned boat, propped against the fence, has been built into an impromptu shelter. A shed sits to the south of the building, and south and east of this shed are a few tired stretches of garden that look like they’re best at growing mud and weeds.

Pig is very much breathing fire. And also very much armoured. Reta manages to cut biggie with dogslicer, but Poog have trouble hitting pig. And Chuffy have trouble too, no bacon for Chuffy.

---
Poog
Reta
Chuffy
Mogmurch
---
Big, big pig (21)
---

Chuffy come in for vile, merciless stab, but only vilely, mercilessly stabs the armour of the pig.

---
Poog
Reta
Chuffy
Mogmurch
---
Big, big pig (15)
---

Unfortunately, the pig is moving again. Chuffy, you'll have to hit it first (the flat-footed still allows sneak damage, but the thing has tons of armor

---
Poog
Reta
Chuffy <--Still needs attack roll
Mogmurch
---
Big, big pig (15)
---

Will: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 16

Big pig spends whole lot of time not moving, then manages to grunt and snort again! It look really mean!

Still flat-footed this round

---
Poog
Reta
Chuffy
Mogmurch
---
Big, big pig
---

You can still attack it, it's paralysed after all.

Reta's arrow plinks harmlessly of the big boar's armour.

Will: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9

It then completely freezes in place.

Those so inclined: Coup de Grace is a full-round action, so you'll have to move up there first.

---
Poog
Reta
Chuffy
Mogmurch
---
Big, big pig
---

Walk to mincemeat farm very long! It take more than hour!

And befor goblins even get there, there be something. It big pig. It almost as fearsome as squealy Nord! It armoured! It coming right for goblins!

---
Poog
Reta
Chuffy
Mogmurch
---
Big, big pig
---

Poog: if you accept the necklace of fireballs please be aware of the following:

You guys ready to go?

Mogmurchy slip out of bonds, and swim out of pie. Pie gross, even for goblin. Chuffy almost break free, but still stuck. Poog and Reta very much stuck.

Mogmurch throw bombs into pie! What mess! Pie splatter everywhere and eagles too! And are those tiny bits of goblin!

It makes escaping much easier...

Just roll a bunch of strength or escape artist checks. Unless Mog wants to help. But, helping other goblins..?

Poog fall into swamp immediately, and gets much laughter. Reta, Chuffy and Mog make many stomps at strikes. In the end, Reta kills three strikes before she fall off. CHuffy kill one more, but Mog best, killing five of them

Mog and Chuffy still standing at end of dare! They most winningest goblins!

---
Reta: 6 points
Chuffy: 16 points
Poog: 2 points
Mog: 20 points
---

Finally, for the last dare, Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh leads the chieftains-in-waiting back toward the Birdcruncher cave—as they approach, the stink of rotten meat and spoiled milk grows. The scent comes from a horrific “pie” that’s been created in a 10-foot-diameter bowl-shaped depression in the rock—the bowl is only 18 inches deep, but filled with a nasty, not-quite-boiling-hot slurry of spoiled milk, mud, swamp water, mashed-up grass, and dead birds. The top is covered over with an incongruously delicious- and flaky- looking pie crust. Several cauldrons of boiling pie filling sit nearby, along with a number of large, dented metal funnels.

Pie still baking mummy explains you will al be tied into pie, with al your stuffs. First goblin to escape is winningest goblin. Other goblins less winning, and even later ones least winning.

There also eagles in the pie. Killing an eagle gives more winningness!

With the rules explained, the contestants are lined up around the edge of the pie and have their wrists and ankles tied together. All goblins are pushed into pie!

Each round you can make a strength/escape artist check to escape, and attack the birds if you want

---
Reta
Poog
Mog
Chuffy
---
Bird
Bird
Bird
Bird
---

Reta hears the goblins cackle and laugh as arrow after arrow misses. Chuffy does a lot better. Twice, he nearly hits a bird, and hears the cawing of the birds are they scatter. The third time he even hits one, which causes the spectator goblins to let out a cheer.

Poog's fire already causes applause, and his instant hit on the first flock makes him a crowd favourite, until his second shot goes wide, and for his third shot doesn't even know where to aim.

Straight-out panic as Mogmurch starts throwing bombs. He manages to blow up the first flock, but his second bomb lands in the crowd and blows a few spectators to smithereens. Guess they won't be chief. The last bomb then neatly kills the third flock. Omg has best win of this game.

---
Reta: 0 Points
Chuffy: 8 Points
Poog: 2 Points
Mog: 10 Points
---

Second game is storage swamp stomp. Goblins must stomp of strikes ties to posts in swamp. Wearing human boots. No falling in the swamp. Who kills most strikes wins.

The boots give a -2 on acrobatics checks, and can be used to stomp. You can also attack with any other weapons. There is a maze of planks and posts that the goblins have to navigate. Each turn make an acrobatics check at -2 (because of the boots) against DC 7. Success means you can move, rolling 5 or less means you fall into swamp (and the dare is over). If you can move, you can attack a stirge. The game ends when all 12 stirges are dead, or only one goblin is left standing.

There be three dares! Mummy explains when Chieftain Moot starts. Goblin who wins best at three dares is new chief. It simple.

First dare is in valley south of Birdcruncher cave. It be shooting seagulls. Blindfolded. Mummy will release three flocks of birds, each more distant than next. You must shoot. Goblin who hits, gets points. Goblins who gets most points, wins good.

Each flock takes a perception check (DC 8, 11 and 14 respectively) to know the general direction. If the check succeeds, you can make an attack roll - with a 50% miss chance for being blindfolded.