Headmaster Toff Ornels

Saruman the Wise's page

13 posts. Alias of Charles Evans 25.


Polite response to previous post recognising poster as long-lost brother, last seen falling into a vat of scrumpy thirty years earlier. Filial salutations and cheerful remarks congratulating said poster on the size of his bank-balance these days.

Thread-reviving post, wondering as to how a previous post on the thread got moved somehow from the top of one page to the bottom of the previous one?

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No. They haven't been brainwashed. However the European ones have been assimilated by the unstoppable power of the kazoo! That is the new menace rising to threaten this age of the world...

<Dusts off hands meaningfully>
<Claims top-of-page>
<Bows out with flourish>

Auziark the Mad wrote:
Saruman the Wise wrote:

Frying pan response.


Flame Troll of Doom wrote:
Saruman the Wise wrote:

Frying pan response.



Frying pan response.

To Lynora-Jill:
* Got to go, if you'll excuse me. There's a flying carpet salesman at the door. *
There is a whine, followed by a tinny clunk and contact is broken.

To Lynora-Jill:
* You mean you may need it alive for some reason? * (At present he's assuming that that would be the principle reason Lynora-Jill, with her allies, would not resort to arms.) * Well employing another dragon to find some draconic way to take it off them would be risky at best, since that dragon might then not want to give the item in question up, so the most obvious option is offer it something even more rare, unique, and valuable to it than the current item, and pile on copious quantities of flattery - the more the better. There are occasional wyrms which don't like compliments, and trying it on a paranoid dragon or one which thinks that you're secretly making fun of it is a BAD idea, but most dragons will sit there all day listening to someone telling them how great they are, so long as the speaker delivers the words in a reasonably convincing manner, and the dragon is sufficiently well fed. *
Don't know if that helps you.

To Lynora-Jill:
*Excellent, excellent. Well it is evidently not excellent that such things may exist, but it is useful to add one more correlation to the set of data which I am currently collecting. Thank you very much. You have been most helpful. *
He's a little bit in the position of Van Helsing in the original novel version of Dracula, collecting facts and data to assemble a verdict on what is going on.

To Lynora:
*Anyhow, my given name is Saruman, modestly also styled 'the Wise'. I had a colleague or four, a while back, but they proved alas to lack my foresight, and in one manner or another have all fallen by the wayside. But I have contacted you in the hope that if anything should go wrong that such is your state that it will not matter much in the way to the world. I do not want to know names. I repeat, I absolutely am NOT interested in names. Names are dangerous, as past experience has painfully demonstrated. However, I have contacted you to inquire if - whilst you were an active deity - there was ever a moment when you had a sense of anything outside. It may sound ridiculous I know, and it's rather difficult for me to explain exactly what I mean. But, nagging away at the edge of your divine consciousness, did you ever have a feeling of being watched by anything - from beyond the confines of the multiverse, I suppose, is the best way to define it. Or if not watched, then did you ever have a sense of anything simply there? I repeat, please no names for such things. *

To Lynora:
*Probably not milady. This is the first time I have so made contact with an even partially defunct deity in such a manner. This is a very exciting breathrough.*
There is a pause.
*You do not wish to hear of my advancements of the fields of arcane knowledge, however, I suspect. A couple of times I advised the Eighth Runelord, before he got all hoity-toity after some poor twits got his lady-love killed and he went off to the Realms of Dream to put himself out of the way of the temptation to do someone a mischief. I'm unclear if you were acquainted with him or not. *

To Lynora-Jill:
There is a clunking noise, and then a sound as of something being tapped, followed by:
*Greetings. Have I made contact? *
This is a sort of telepathic broadcast directed at her.

Keehaar. wrote:

Keehaar plays with his ball for a while, but soon falls into an exhaused sleep. He reains his young boy form and snuggles up to the other hatchlings. He twitches as he enters the Realms of Dream.

Elder Evil ... the signs ... Chaos' Herald ... Sky ... must keep the power ... Blodwen ... fight it ...

He twitches and moans, but eventually falls into deeper realms where the visions do not bother him.

The Wildwood and ND's palace at the heart of it are generally off limits to casual dreamers, except by invitation. This could be a random warning from me, an old friend of Brwaaaktor, by means of a dream spell or some such method. I have some peripheral knowledge and interest of EEE (careful to avoid name knowledge) and I am starting to get concerned by activity.