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Nickolas Russell wrote:
Heaven's TetherAura moderate transmutation; CL 13th
Slot none; Price 71,500 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
The reflection of this silvery staff shows only clouds moving rapidly against gravity. These clouds occasionally escape Heaven's Tether and quickly dissipate. Once per day the wielder can still the reflection, calming the clouds and becoming bound to the sky for 1 min./level. For the duration, stabilizing against the effects of a Levitate spell is automatic and does not require a full round, and spells can be cast while falling. Casting a spell during a skybound fall does not require a concentration check. The staff allows the use of the following spells:
Feather fall (1 charge)
Levitate (1 charge)
Glide (Advanced Player's Guide) (1 charge)
Hostile levitation (Ultimate Combat) (2 charges)
Reverse gravity (4 charges)
Requirements Craft Staff, Feather Fall, Levitate, Glide, Hostile Levitation, Reverse Gravity; Cost 35,750 gp
Heaven's Tether (Phloid Edit)Heavens Tether
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 13th
Slot none; Price 61,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
The reflection in this mirror-like staff is not of the surrounding environment, but of fast moving clouds pierced by rays of the sun.
The staff allows the use of the following spells:
• Levitate (1 charge)
• Fly (2 charges)
• Overland flight (3 charges)
While under the effects of a levitate spell the wielder can make attacks and stabilize himself automatically as a free action. He can raise and lower himself at twice the normal rate.
Once per day the wielder can cast a spell from the staff as an immediate action, but only while free falling more than 20 feet. Once per day the wielder can also cast two spells from the staff as a single...
First of all, great name. And I don't just mean the item. I've met a bunch of Nicholas's, but I think you are the first I've seen with the same spelling as me. I'm sure there are many, but you know as well as I do that everyone assumes the traditional spelling and has to be corrected. And, we both have two first names. You can't trust a man with two first names. At least that's what I've been told. My maternal grandfather's first name was Russell and my paternal step-grandfather's first name was Floyd (he raised my dad). Funny.
Anyway, the item name. I was dubious at first, but after reading the item, it fits and I like it. This is a pretty straight forward staff with a good but not great theme. The additional abilities are kind of meh and some of the spells are kind of redundant. What I have been doing with items that lack mojo is I take the thing about the item that has the most mojo and expand on that. In this case I think that thing is either the name or the idea of begin tethered to something fairly intangible.
In editing this item I want to expand on the name and relate abilities and spells to the name even more than the original did. I don't know that Hostile Levitation and Reverse Gravity really fit the name. Heaven's Tether makes me think that it helps bind the wielder to the sky and not mess with others. This is somewhat subjective, but because it is Heaven's Tether and not Tether of the Heavens it doesn't seem to fit to be hostile (one a place where souls are saved after death, and the other just the sky or space). I hope that makes sense. My first idea was to make it a staff that could save the wielder or another attuned character from a deadly situation (like falling and casting Feather Fall for instance). The idea was that it tethered the person to their mortal life. I built it and it was kind of cool, but it required four different magic schools and was a little over word count. I decided to scrap it and start over keeping closer to the original theme. I settled on more of a super flying staff and augmented the spells by combining them once per day. The Fly/Overland Flight fly speed seems like a huge boost, but just lowering it by 10 feet makes it only 10 feet faster than combining Fly and Levitate (for a light load character) and I wanted it to be worth it. Perfect maneuverability didn't seem to be enough for combining with Levitate, so it got what it got. Though this makes some awesome flying, it has no real offensive abilities so I decreased the price by 10,000 gp.
This is ok. I'm not crazy about it and I don't really think it is superstar, but the theme was not super exciting. Your original item had a good name and some interesting visuals. The writing was a little confusing in places. Next year let others read your submission and let you know where it gets confusing so you can edit before submitting. There is a spark in this item and I would not be surprised to see your next idea in the top 32. Good luck with RPGSS 2016.
Thanks Nick! A life of misspelling my name haha. Yep. It naturally shortens to Nick, where Nicholas shortens to Nick too, so we win lol.
I was debating putting the offensive spells in for the same reason. Mine was too boring without them though, but it was the wrong solution. I have a lot to learn just about writing too, catching little things like 'The reflection in' vs. 'reflection of'. Great edit altogether, it's very helpful so thank you.