Kobold

Kobold Cleaver's page

RPG Superstar 9 Season Marathon Voter. Organized Play Member. 22,901 posts (37,712 including aliases). 7 reviews. 2 lists. 1 wishlist. 3 Organized Play characters. 104 aliases.


Full Name

Kobold "Leave it to" Cleaver

Race

Smurfold

Classes/Levels

Twitterer 7

Gender

F

Size

Itsy

Age

Born back when people thought we might survive capitalism.

Alignment

Neutral Evil

Deity

Kurtulmak's exiled brother, Kropotnak

Location

Rural Oregon

About Kobold Cleaver

This insufferably smug rat of a kobold serves as Head Witch of a large, highly hostile kobold tribe that may or may not just be three kobolds hiding behind a curtain and doing a bunch of silly voices. She is often found menacing the Boards, however, picking fights with her many, many enemies. She counts Favorites like you would count gold. They're all hers, and hers alone! Give them to her! Buy her favor with + signs!

Kobold Cleaver comes from a long line of Cleavers, but she alone wields the actual Cleaver that holds her considerable martial might. Her favorite haunts include the political forums, the rules discussion forums, and her own countless terrible threads, all festering bogs of idiocy and timewasting to the last. Stop by some time!

She claims credit for single-handedly shaming the plague Caster/Martial Disparity argument threads into the void with her Index. You are welcome.

KC's also running the longest-running Age of Worms PbP on the forums (and possibly ever?), and the second-longest true Pathfinder PbP that's still active. She made Dragotha and Tiamat lesbians and nobody knew to stop her until it was too late.

Enemies List:
Gargamel and his damn cat — Smurfold Cleaver was created by Gargamel Teter to infiltrate the smurfs. Or to annoy her. Either way, Kobold Cleaver caught on to the scheme and turned against her creator.

Adventurers — Kobold Cleaver quite likes adventurers, actually. They're crunchy.

Clanmates — Look, Trapper Ted, it was either hack up your brother or lose the cleave. I don't waste my namesake feat!

Tea — And its supporters.

captain yesterday — And his millions of aliases.

Anzyr — Don't you even think about it boy.


Respected and Admired List:
Sebastian. Yeah, that's right, YOU'RE NUMBER ONE HERE! AAHAHAHAAHA! VICTORY!

Sebastian wrote:
You are wrong Sebastian. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Writing Credits:

Wayfinder 14
Monstrous Masterpieces
Wayfinder 15
"A Walk Through Heibarr" Side Trek Seed

Villain Codex I
Wolton “Wolly” Venuti, gnome sorcerer
Villain Codex IV
Radnii, aranea rogue

101 Spells for the Common Man
The spells extract pigment, awaken instruments, warp glass, greater warp glass, pleasing facade

Seven Bizarre Races
Writer

Note to self: Two irons in the fire; add them when/if they actually get published. (cursed)