Kobold Cleaver's page

RPG Superstar 9 Season Marathon Voter. Organized Play Member. 22,852 posts (37,559 including aliases). 7 reviews. 2 lists. 1 wishlist. 3 Organized Play characters. 104 aliases.

Full Name

Kobold "Leave it to" Cleaver




Twitterer 7






Toy Story was released before I was born. I don't remember a time before the Bush presidency.


Lawful Evil


Papa Smurf/Kurtulmak/Queen Chrysalis


Rural Oregon

Strength 18
Dexterity 10
Constitution 14
Intelligence 20
Wisdom 7
Charisma 7

About Kobold Cleaver

This insufferably smug rat of a kobold serves as Head Witch of a large, highly hostile kobold clan called the Polikobaldly Kobrrect Tribe. She is often found menacing the Boards, however, picking fights with her many, many enemies. She counts Favorites like you would count gold. They're all hers, and hersalone! Give them to her! Buy her favor with + signs.

Kobold Cleaver comes from a long line of Cleavers, but she alone wields the actual Cleaver that holds her considerable martial might. Unfortunately, she has a tendency to cleave fellow kobolds, but that's all accident. All accident. You can't prove anything.

Kobold Cleaver used to be a lich, but she got over it. She used to be a member of the sinister cult known as the Misty Realms Agents, who sought to spread their nebulous, poorly-thought-out plans across the world. She got over that, too. She used to be a brony, but then she got kind of bored and realized she was surrounded by jackasses. She now quests alone to master the fabled Paints of Animation, though it is clear to all she is in way over her head.

Kobold Cleaver's favorite haunts include the political forums, the rules discussion forums, and her own countless terrible threads, all festering bogs of idiocy and timewasting to the last. Stop by some time!

Enemies List:
Gargamel and his damn cat — Smurfold Cleaver was created by Gargamel Teter to infiltrate the smurfs. Or to annoy her. Either way, Kobold Cleaver caught on to the scheme and turned against her creator.

Adventurers — Kobold Cleaver quite likes adventurers, actually. They're crunchy.

Clanmates — Look, Trapper Ted, it was either hack up your brother or lose the cleave. I don't waste my namesake feat!

Tea — And its supporters.

captain yesterday — And his millions of aliases.

Anzyr — Don't you even think about it boy.

Respected and Admired List:
Sebastian. Yeah, that's right, YOU'RE NUMBER ONE HERE! AAHAHAHAAHA! VICTORY!

Sebastian wrote:
You are wrong Sebastian. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Writing Credits:

Wayfinder 14
Monstrous Masterpieces
Wayfinder 15
"A Walk Through Heibarr" Side Trek Seed

Villain Codex I
Wolton “Wolly” Venuti, gnome sorcerer
Villain Codex IV
Radnii, aranea rogue

101 Spells for the Common Man
The spells extract pigment, awaken instruments, warp glass, greater warp glass, pleasing facade

Seven Bizarre Races

Note to self: Two irons in the fire; add them when/if they actually get published. (cursed)