Ok this one is easy. I've been a gamer for Ohh 25 years or so and have been ridiculously happy in my only marriage of 14 years. I think the first time my wife found out I had 'geekish' tendencies is when I left her apartment (meet because I lived above her) and she asked me what I was going to go do. I said I was going to go paint. She said "you paint pictures" No I don't "paint pictures" She says I said it with distain. I meant miniatures. She to this day, does not play but does not think me a geek or weird or anything else wrong with my hobby. I don¡¦t hold her not playing against her nor does she hold the time I spend at my hobbies against me.
I have done some fantasy things with her (not gonna tell you about those ļ) but in bed sometimes I used to read to her before she went to sleep. Fantasy books live Salvator, Hickman and Wise, and some others. I sometimes make up a story with her as the main character. Asking her what she wanted to look like and explain it in detail. Sometimes it was romantic and other times she was the hero.
If she¡¦s not interested then it¡¦s ok. To keep her after you have her, make sure you¡¦re a part of her life not that she¡¦s only in yours. Keep constant contact. Show her she¡¦s the most special thing in your life. Make time for her and your hobbies. Don¡¦t be a butthead and force her into playing. Make sure that all the time you have with her is special for both of you. Let her know you lover her with words and deeds. So she¡¦ll never even mind if you play because she knows you¡¦re not only in love with her but your there for her. If you love each other it won¡¦t matter. Leaving books, magazines, and DVDs around is a good segue into it but be up front. Women hate liars the most. Tell her. I liked one forums suggestions the most, board game and acting. An escape from work and harder realities. It¡¦s a great release.
John Governale
Co-Owner of LovingReconnections.com
Gamer for 25+ years
Hi, I¡¦m the wife. I really don¡¦t see why it¡¦s such a problem or such a hard thing to share. For me its one of the things John does it does not define who he is. As long as we can share time together and he not a selfish a@+$#!$ about it, (and he never has been) I¡¦m thankful he has an outlet for his creativity, imagination. It also helps him to distress. (a distressed husband is a wonderful thing to have). It allows him time with our son while them both enjoying the play. I feel blessed that this is one of hobbies there are a lot worse ways he could be spending his time and enjoying himself. You have to learn how to share that includes your time. Good luck.
Joann Governale
Co-Owner of LovingReconnections.com
Wife of gamer for almost 17 years