|Jail House Rock|
1. Napoleon Invades Russia 1812
Napoleon was a great general, but even a great general has an off day. The little Frenchman must have been really off his nut when he decided to invade Russia in the dead of winter. Although Napoleon took Moscow with many losses, he lost more men on the frozen march back to France. In total, half a million soldiers were killed during the entire debacle and many were forced to eat substandard cheese and wine. Napoleon regretted this and his appearance in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Fortunately, no one would be stupid enough to ever repeat this mistake.
2. Hitler Invades Russia 1941
Adolf Hitler, never a good student of history, decided to exactly what Napoleon did, only more evil. In a plan called Operation Barbarossa, Hitler betrayed his former ally, Stalin, and invaded with 4.5 million troops. Things actually went worse for Hitler, as he attempted to occupy Russia. That was kind of like sending four cops to occupy all of South Central L.A. Overstretched and pounded by winter, the Nazis were killed, captured or routed by the Commies. Hitler and Stalin never spoke again.
1. The Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan 1979
Also known as the “Soviet's Vietnam" or the “Big Russian Suck", Leonid Brezhnev got the bright idea to invade Afghanistan one day. After ten years of letting Osama Bin Laden kill their troops, the Russians wised up and left just in time for their entire country to collapse. America won the Cold War shortly thereafter and no one would be stupid enough to ever repeat this mistake again!
2. The US Invasion of Afghanistan 2001
Called by retired Lt. General [REDACTED] as the “greatest strategic disaster in United States history", the invasion of Afghanistan continues to be a long, drawn out occupation that has expanded into Pakistan. Started by George W. Bush and continued by President Barack Obama, occupation continues to be about as much fun as paying a guy to kick you in the nads every five minutes.
(HOWEVER, atleast we got dibs on the Lithium mines. Ha ha Russia.)