paizo.com Favorited Posts by J.S.paizo.com Favorited Posts by J.S.2022-05-26T20:21:58Z2022-05-26T20:21:58ZRe: Forums/Lost Omens Campaign Setting: General Discussion: Hitting on monstrous womenJ.S.https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2n3s4?Hitting-on-monstrous-women#202011-11-11T11:44:07Z2011-11-09T17:41:06Z<p>It's much easier if your CHA is at least 14 and you can take the Harkness feat.</p>It's much easier if your CHA is at least 14 and you can take the Harkness feat.J.S.2011-11-09T17:41:06ZRe: Forums/Gamer Life: General Discussion: Best one-liner that made the whole table laugh?J.S.https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2mahp&page=3?Best-oneliner-that-made-the-whole-table-laugh#1072016-04-22T00:47:22Z2011-11-05T06:33:09Z<p>#1 - Traveller: The New Era</p>
<p>The party has landed on a planet in the hopes of a cold recovery mission, winding up in collusion with not only one, but two enemy groups (both Virus and the Guild) and would up misstarting a fusion reactor that lead to the planet, otherwise a treasure trove of lost technology, being turned into a burnt out cinder.</p>
<p>After a narrow escape, there is a long pause, as the party contemplates everything that went wrong. Finally, the self-appointed captain speaks up:</p>
<p>Captain: <b>Erase the logs. We were never here.</b></p>
<p>This being Traveller, it became something of a refrain whenever the party would end up in a potentially morally compromising situation.</p>
<p>#2 - Changeling</p>
<p>Character A and Character B have an on-again, off-again romance. Character B, in order to get 'vital information,' seduces an NPC.</p>
<p>B [beginning to seethe]: Can I cast {curse} on {the NPC}? </p>
<p>ST: Sure. </p>
<p>Character B crits. ST says nothing. Character A returns, smiling, with the information. About ten minutes pass.</p>
<p>B: Uh, what about my curse? Did nothing happen? I got a critical success?</p>
<p>ST: Oh, you'll find out...in about 9 months.</p>#1 - Traveller: The New Era
The party has landed on a planet in the hopes of a cold recovery mission, winding up in collusion with not only one, but two enemy groups (both Virus and the Guild) and would up misstarting a fusion reactor that lead to the planet, otherwise a treasure trove of lost technology, being turned into a burnt out cinder.
After a narrow escape, there is a long pause, as the party contemplates everything that went wrong. Finally, the self-appointed captain speaks up:
...J.S.2011-11-05T06:33:09ZRe: Forums: Advice: Clever ways to deal with accidental TPK'sJ.S.https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2n1pi?Clever-ways-to-deal-with-accidental-TPKs#232011-10-27T20:54:45Z2011-10-27T19:47:22Z<p>Accidental TPKs are the reason why prison adventures were created.</p>Accidental TPKs are the reason why prison adventures were created.J.S.2011-10-27T19:47:22ZRe: Forums: Advice: Dealing with PregnancyJ.S.https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2luug&page=2?Dealing-with-Pregnancy#762016-12-16T07:27:51Z2011-03-10T21:52:40Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Abraham spalding wrote:</div><blockquote> His reply, "You don't need fingers and toes to have a baby — and its a good thing because if you keep treating me like this you won't have any."</blockquote><p>I think the follow up to that is her to look at the hammer, look at his crotch, and say "and if you try, since I'm already pregnant, I can think of what part of yours is unnecessary."
<p>And I'd hope she would have followed through. Even if she needed to shut up, your friend's a creep.</p>Abraham spalding wrote:His reply, "You don't need fingers and toes to have a baby -- and its a good thing because if you keep treating me like this you won't have any."
I think the follow up to that is her to look at the hammer, look at his crotch, and say "and if you try, since I'm already pregnant, I can think of what part of yours is unnecessary." And I'd hope she would have followed through. Even if she needed to shut up, your friend's a creep.J.S.2011-03-10T21:52:40ZRe: Forums: Advice: What goes well with medusae?J.S.https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2lvb6?What-goes-well-with-medusae#262019-01-05T17:39:52Z2011-02-14T01:26:13Z<div class="messageboard-quotee">Zmar wrote:</div><blockquote> ... but perhaps give the medusa a disturbing habit of painting statues with vivid colours and adding nonpetrified accessories to it's dolls.... </blockquote><p>This requires them to be <i>magic mouth</i>'ed with "are you my mommy?" and "I don't wanna play anymore. I wanna go home."Zmar wrote:... but perhaps give the medusa a disturbing habit of painting statues with vivid colours and adding nonpetrified accessories to it's dolls....
This requires them to be magic mouth'ed with "are you my mommy?" and "I don't wanna play anymore. I wanna go home."J.S.2011-02-14T01:26:13ZRe: Forums: Kingmaker: My Changes to RRR - Hargulka's Monster KingdomJ.S.https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2ljy6?My-Changes-to-RRR-Hargulkas-Monster-Kingdom#72020-03-01T06:40:19Z2010-12-03T07:30:52Z<p>First thought: No, Mister Bond, I want you to dine.</p>
<p>At some point, an invitation or other friendly overture will come from Mr. H., looking to meet the party. It's not a trap...not an obvious one at any rate. He comes to the table looking to talk reasonable divisions of the Greenbelt and peaceable live-and-let-live, expecting either one of two things A) that the PCs will refuse or generally be anti-Kingdom Of Monsters, so Lord H. can paint them as the unreasonable and violent ones, or B) that they'll agree to something that can't sustain itself, and either will break down into war where, again, H. can be the good guy, (even if it takes some behind the scenes prodding).</p>
<p>In the meeting, he can really drill the PCs on their motives and intents ("why are you here? You have no moral or legal claim to this land.") as well as goad them on the politics ("You do realize that you're just the lapdogs of the Dragonscale throne, right? They're just using you to conquer by stealthy degrees a land they're too weak to conquer outright. All you are is a throwaway buffer state that they intend to conquer once you've done the work.") Hell, he can give 'em the Empire speech ("Join with my band, and together we can take the Stolen Lands for ourselves!")</p>First thought: No, Mister Bond, I want you to dine.
At some point, an invitation or other friendly overture will come from Mr. H., looking to meet the party. It's not a trap...not an obvious one at any rate. He comes to the table looking to talk reasonable divisions of the Greenbelt and peaceable live-and-let-live, expecting either one of two things A) that the PCs will refuse or generally be anti-Kingdom Of Monsters, so Lord H. can paint them as the unreasonable and violent ones, or B) that...J.S.2010-12-03T07:30:52ZRe: Forums/Gamer Life: General Discussion: What Was Your Last Straw?J.S.https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2lehu&page=6?What-Was-Your-Last-Straw#2712012-06-08T16:46:12Z2010-11-06T21:28:22Z<p>[In Mechwarrior, of all things]</p>
<p>DM: Okay, so you head off to the bar.</p>
<p>PLAYER 4: Are there any hot girls there? I want to #$•& them!</p>
<p>ME: [Laughs at Dead Alewives reference.]</p>
<p>PLAYER 4: ...</p>
<p>DM: ...</p>
<p>ME: Oh, wait, you were - that was totally serious, wasn't it?</p>[In Mechwarrior, of all things]
DM: Okay, so you head off to the bar.
PLAYER 4: Are there any hot girls there? I want to #$*& them!
ME: [Laughs at Dead Alewives reference.]
PLAYER 4: ...
DM: ...
ME: Oh, wait, you were - that was totally serious, wasn't it?J.S.2010-11-06T21:28:22ZRe: Forums: Kingmaker: Venture Capital - aka A Deal with the DevilJ.S.https://paizo.com/threads/rzs2l9a9?Venture-Capital-aka-A-Deal-with-the-Devil#202015-03-09T20:40:09Z2010-09-23T20:29:50Z<p>Don't forget to have a coalition of merchants show up at the last minute, offering great bank at the risk of basically offending absolutely everyone else.</p>Don't forget to have a coalition of merchants show up at the last minute, offering great bank at the risk of basically offending absolutely everyone else.J.S.2010-09-23T20:29:50Z