Chuck Norris Prophet of Doom's page

Tsogtsos was promoted because her promotion is a key component to causing the complete dissolution of international peace an a descent into a grim darkness where there is only war.

So my mom is having surgery to remove cancer on her face in a few weeks and is freaking out.

To the point that she dug her old photo album out of the cupboard last night and went through it with my sister (she's usually "Why on earth would you want to look back?") and actually asked for help getting the house, yard, etc. ready for her to be out of commission until the end of June.
She didn't even ask me to come help when her husband died.
And she's asking to see her grandchildren.
Gee, wonder if she's suddenly worried about her mortality?
So I got a couple of days off at the end of the month and am taking the kids up.

I will roundhouse kick Death and force her to live forever!

Well, the period from the death of Earth to its reterraforming by humanity's space-born, genetically-engineered descendants is approximately one thousand years.

So far, we're perfectly on track for that. The spread of antibiotic resistance, the early vaccine resistance, the growing environmental disaster, and the growing instability of nations in areas we can't talk about here is all perfectly on track.

All we need now is the widespread adoption of alternative energy, but with shortcuts taken to get the costs down and production up, and a city-wide experiment with hydrogen fuel cells to cement the growing disaster.

I hope you enjoyed the Golden Age of human civilization. It's all downhill from here.