Bowser, King of the Koopas's page

I just want a castle where I can run up a white flag with a red star in the center and set off fireworks whenever I want.

Stop invading my castles dammit!

NobodysHome wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

Poor Skinny Jeans, he never returned for his second day.

Come to think of it, I haven't seen Rocko for a couple of days.

Er... you *ARE* sure you're not accidentally burying them within the walls you're building, aren't you?

Correct. Not accidentally.

Take it from a guy who knows, turning your enemies and your prisoners into building material is both efficient and hilarious. Just wait until those plumbers find out what's been in those bricks this whole time!

Look, it's a constant pain in my shell that those guys keep smashing up perfectly good masonry. Let me have this bit of emotional karma.

Marie Conan wrote:

DungeonmasterCal wrote:

So what have you guys done today?

I continued to work on my Tidying Up method, ConanMari. Of every object in your house, ask: "Will it enable me to crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentation of their women?"

If the answer is no, thank it for its service and hack it to bits.

If-a it doesn't a-spark-a the joy, punch-a it till it gives you a shower of a-gold a-coins!

Stop breaking all my @#*&%!@$^% bricks!

Tacticslion wrote:

Coo. What du?

EDIT:

>Get Arms

Literally the only joke I know about MSPaint Adventures.

You already have arms, genius!

Alternative response:

BOWSER'S ARMS!!!

Burn! Maim! Pillage! Steal the princess! BWAHAHAHA!

I like the cut of this guy's jib.

Playing Mario Make Believe with my two boys in the back yard is super precious. We just beat Bowser and got a Power Star!

Curse you, you wretched plumbers!

I like the cut of this lady's jib.

Okay, I'm writing down the name of a supplier I know. In the meantime, I recommend not putting your magic items inside easily-accessible blocks located exactly where they'll be most useful. Also, you really should do something about all those open pipes in your facilities. Call a plumber before somebody uses them to break in.

Alright, good, thanks. And yeah I'll get right on th-.... hey....

Bowser, King of the Koopas wrote:

Tried that, doesn't seem to be working. They just stop and wait for them to fall, then either jump over or wait for them to start rising back up then run under. Any other recommendations?

Um

S~#&
Okay, have you tried rolling things at them yet?

Yep, everything I can get my hands on. Giant swinging maces, bus-sized bowling balls, hells I've even trained some of my Troopas to kick their own shells at the bastards. Nothing seems to work! They just jump over everything!

They have this bizarre trick they do where they jump and spin. What the hell? I can do that, see? *jumps, does a half-turn in the air, lands with a thud, cracking the floor* Err, sorry 'bout that. Anyway. Except when they do it, they just... bounce! Off things that should be doing some serious harm! Spiked balls, spiked shells, high-velocity projectiles... even lava creatures! How the !#(^!??

I hate to put it this way but these guys ain't human. I'm gonna need some bigger guns here. Hence coming to kobolds. You guys have traps down. I need a better supplier! Buying from Magikoopas is just not cuttin' the mustard anymore!

Random idea: Maybe hide all your dangerous superpower-granting magic items inside blocks so they can't get them.

Yeah, I actually tried this one already. They just punch them! These guys must be made of iron! They punch the blocks so hard their contents explode out of the top!

I've lost so many good investments and well-hidden coin stashes this way....

Bowser, King of the Koopas wrote:

I need better-quality traps to catch me a couple of short, pudgy intruders. Got any suggestions?

Try spiked blocks that fall repeatedly at regularly-timed intervals.

Tried that, doesn't seem to be working. They just stop and wait for them to fall, then either jump over or wait for them to start rising back up then run under. Any other recommendations?

I need better-quality traps to catch me a couple of short, pudgy intruders. Got any suggestions?

[Shatner] Cruise ship? What does Bowser need with a cruise ship?! [/Shatner]

I paid good coins for that ship! And even put in cannons and made it fly! Do you realize how much that costs?!

Knew I never shoulda let the kids take it for a joyride...

Kidnaps IHIYC and makes him a castle boss

Kidnaps someone randomly and stashes them in one of the many castles scattered in Advice

I blame Cosmo for the state of politics these days.

Back in the day, politics were simple. It was a few easy questions. "Which princess do I kidnap this week?" "Which plumber am I torching this afternoon?" "Why DO I keep leaving that damn axe out where anybody can get to it?" Go get 'em, leave out a few traps, get the troopas marching, stock up the fortresses, check on the kids, burn bang boom, problem solved.

Now there's all these extra things you have to do! All these various groups you have to placate! And the PAPERWORK! RAAAAAAAUGH!! Dammit Cosmo! I have a kingdom to run!

Macaroni Slaad wrote:

I'll save you Amby! *sees peppermint on the ground* Ooh, a piece of candy! *ends up in box trap* Dang it.

I blame Cosmo for falling for this trap.

I blame Cosmo that Princess Boushh hasn't showed up yet to rescue me from carbonmint freezing.

Yeah, about that....