Bojack Horsefly's page

{adds "Abdul Al'Paula" to list of imaginary band names}

It's amazing how much Spite and vim can keep one going.

Oooo, now I want a Spite & Vim(m's) cocktail.

Listen, just paint the interior of the bubble with weather-resistant paint and call it the outside. Thus, everything that was once outside is now technically inside, and safely contained. Sure, it might be a very large containment area - including, among other things, Disneyland, the Andromeda galaxy M31, and the bacon - but it is still by definition contained.

We can all be safe in here!

We could even call it... The Aristocrats! (no sorry, try again:) ...The Asylum!

Say, how much headroom does this thing have? I feel someone's elbow in my... wait, is that an elbow?

Yes, it is an elbow; it is in fact your own elbow from AnotherWhen and AnotherWhere. You've got no right to complain. If you're going to keep bending your elbows and knees into tempting angles, eventually a Puppy of Tindalos is going to show up expecting to play fetch with bits of other yous.

How do I read my water bill?

My latest statement has a billed usage of "84 UOM". I have no idea what that means, but it was $153. I think we still have a leak somewhere. But we do so much laundry.

[voice="Cliff Clavin"] 84UOM is a C-lister bounty hunter that didn't make Vader's final cut in Empire Strikes Back. Or possibly the title of a late 90s Van Hagar album. [/voice]

Or Monkeybone.

Edit: On the other hand, Rose McGowan as Miss Kitty.

Gary Teter wrote:

How do I do that a hundred billion times?

Write it on an arrow, take the Manyshot feat and buy a really, really big longbow.

Wedding planner [bard archetype] on Golarion sitcom: {lowering bow} "I just flew in from Egorian sent out invites for M'Lady's side of the wedding guests, and boy are my arms tired." {cue Tasha's hideous laughtrack}

Hello, everyone.

Hello, hello! (¡Hola!)

Beep beep, I'm a sheep, beep beep, I'm a sheep.

captain yesterday wrote:

Got two new pairs of shorts tonight.

How about a pair of longs?

Did I wander into a game of Strip Go Fish?

I'm just here for the well-tenderized dead horse.

I want to play an awakened horse monk with Profession(dentist). He could kick people in the mouth and charge them for services rendered.

♫♪ "Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood,

34) Is Norgorber actually three halflings that escaped Cheliax by hiding in a long coat and pretending to be a human?

"I went to First Vault today. I did a business."

Michael Shannon, actor, can stuff $2.10 in U.S. coins up his nose.

{bites Tiny Tim's delicious leg, licks salt, and pounds shot of more delicious tequila}

Duiker wrote:

Really off the wall idea: use the "worm that walks" template and refluff the "worms" as scores of tiny goblins.

He already has a single "character" made up of 3, now 2 Goblins stacked on top of each other in clothes. So this is another possibility.

His PC is Vincent Adultgob?

Cyrad wrote:

1. I wish it gave you an option choosing your bonus weapon proficiency instead of just giving you longarm proficiency. I play a melee mechanic. It would have been really nice to get advanced melee weapons instead.

If you play as a dwarf you get advanced melee proficiency, and specialization at 3rd level.

Dwarf mechanic wielding a two-handed pipewrench (use damage stats for a dwarven longhammer)

Or a sort-by-sobriety feature.