Bob Drouin's page

Do you want me writing more flavor text for it?

Looks like you'd have to be altering at least some of the base races.

I can see the 'falling down the rabbit hole/out of a tornado' to be breaching the cage surrounding the world, but that's more an outsider coming into the area scenario, rather then being a native.

But it would be a very effective intro. You could do it to a native as a stumbling into trap, sending them to part of the world never seen before.

Mmmm. Fairy carnivorous Munchkins halflings, and you just landed on their Wicked Oracle of the East. A Yellow Bone Road leading you through the lands of the Gillikin phlegm-bubble spewing Glenda the Damned Good Witc; the Winkie skulks and deryii fliers serving under the Wicked Witch of the West, the Tin Woodsman advanced construct warrior with his Adamantine Plant Bane axe hewing down the corrupted forests and snapdragon hordes of the Quadlings of the south; the undead Hungry Dire Tiger with barbarian levels the size of an elephant; the magical city of Oz caught up in warfare between the all-banshee army led by the General Jinjur the IceWight and the Queen of Spades; the vampires of the Queen of Hearts, the ghouls of the king of Clubs facing off against the skeletal legions of the Wight Lord King of Diamonds, while the Emerald City bleeds green from the radioactive balestone it is made of. The Cowardly Lion, a disgraced Leonal, wars with the fiendish blink tiger Chesire, as the King of Hearts leads his headless horsemen on undead unicorns on blood hunts and to recover his 'pet' lion...

hah! Sounds like fun. And they even have stats for the Jabberwock and Jub jub bird, and the fruminous bandersnatch...wonder how they'd fare against Ozma the succubus fairy queen?

==Bob Drouin

USA, Maryland.

==Bob D

Ordered basic vampire here, have not received it yet.

==Robert Drouin

The Pillars Dexter
Aura moderate universal; CL 8th
Slot hands; Price 10,000 gp (one glove); Weight -.
Description
A dark silvery right-handed elbow-length workman's glove, a dexter is designed to aid the 4 fundamental pillars that support universal arcane spellcasting: artifice, alchemy, arcane bonds, and universal school magical training.
Any dexter wearer may, when throwing alchemical weapons (such as alchemist fire vials or thunderstones, and surprisingly including (un)holy water, but not poisons), add his Intelligence bonus to his primary target's initial damage, or raise the save DC by 2. His right hand is considered to have hardness 10 against damage, allowing him to handle extremely hot, acidic or other dangerous objects with it safely.
Wearers with the arcane bond class feature may bond a dexter free of cost, replacing any previous arcane bond. A bonded dexter can change its appearance to resemble any type of handwear. A bonded dexter may be worn with a glove of storing, unlike other magical gloves.
A dexter wearer can use the hand of the apprentice class feature to throw alchemical weapons and vials, in addition to melee weapons.
A wearer with the hand of the apprentice or bomb class feature can store items within the dexter. He may store a number of thrown alchemical weapons or potential bombs up to his hand or bomb daily use limit. One use of his hand or bomb ability stores one item. Retrieving an item is a swift action of will.
A dexter wearer with the metamagic mastery class feature may spend a use to double the initial damage inflicted by an alchemical thrown weapon, or to double the radius affected by it.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, shrink item, creator must have the hand of the apprentice class feature; Cost 5,000 gp

::: My private thought is that it did slightly too much, and I should have left off the bomb storage feature (which basically did nothing more then store 1-9 vials of alchemical stuff, and you had to spend a bomb or hand use to do it!)

But, if there was something else wrong with it other then doing too much stuff, I'd like to hear it.

==Bob Drouin

The pillars is a single glove that had abilities that interacted with the four 'pillars' that support universal school spellcasting - artifice, alchemy, arcane bond, and universal school spell like abilities.

Had a longer post, but that should jog the memory, if you saw it.

==Bob D.

Soooo, Clark... can we ask if our item made the Top 89?

The Pillars Dexter, here. I never saw it after the cut, which was a serious bummer given how many times I saw some other items. just wondering.

==Bob D

I wasn't expecting to qualify last year, and I honestly think I have a better entry this year. We shall see. I saw it twice pre-cut, and none post-cut. But there were a lot of truly lousy items I saw multiple times post-cut (sometimes in successive pairings!), so that's no indicator.

Ah, well, can only wait! best of luck to everyone!

==Bob D.

Your phrasing is really bad and you need to break the effects up.

This finely carved gemstone skull has magical runes etched upon it.
Saying the command words carved upon it allows the user to summon 1d4 4HD skeletons to fight for him for 4 rounds.
If the wielder insteads focuses the power of the words upon themselves, they gain the Burning Skeleton template, although without the undead immunities, for one round per character level (max 10 rounds).
If the wielder focuses the power upon an enemy and succeeds at a touch attack, the foe is struck by a vampiric touch spell at the character's level, to a maximum of 10th level.
The words engraved on the skull can be used a total of 3 times per day. If the skull is not held in one hand, all spell effects and temporary hit points gained end instantly.

You need to reference character level, not caster level, unless you stipulate this can only be used by a caster.
As it reads, you can use the skeletons and burning template infinite times/day.
Noting an undead creature gets undead immunities is redundant.

Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Profession(jeweler) 10 ranks, Spellcraft 10 ranks, alter self, animate dead, vampiric touch, creator must be a necromancy specialist wizard

spells in requirements are in alphabetical order; there is no knowledge (gem-cutter) skill, phrasing for class requirements follows a standard pattern.

==Bob

==Aelryinth

I really think you should clarify "breaks the rules" better.

Breaking the format IS breaking the rules...but you're saying it's okay.

Then there is other stuff that breaks the rules.

A short list would be nice, or a guideline for the judges on the log in page.

Also, it seems there is a limit on how many items you can judge before you get kicked off. It would be nice to know the limit.

==

I think 90% of the submissions I dq'd right off for formatting errors. Wow. It was hard not to dq for spelling mistakes, and by and large the command of language was pretty bad, too.

:( I voted for two so far...

Hmm. I thought it was Craft Wondrous Item, not craft wondrous item?

==Bob

Sean K Reynolds wrote:

Wild Gazebo, you really need to tone it down. Attacking James is not appropriate.

I've PMed you out of politeness.

I agree with Mr. Gazebo.

No offense to JJ, but his judgement came down to "I recommend you not vote for this this designer because his submission conflicts with something we are producing next year that he knew nothing about."

This has been a problem in prior contests, where submissions unwittingly overlapped with products put out in the middle of the contest...including one memorable one where the product was announced between the submission and judging phases, and a submitter got slammed for it by the judges because of the overlap!

Tom had a great adventure on its own merits, while JJ seemed to be judging it on the merits of what it had to change to. This strikes me as particularly unfair. JJ should have left the entire 'leng is not appropriate for our schedule' spoiler until the END of his critique, judged the adventure on its own merits, and then revealed to us what would need to happen.

It's nice to see the judges are going to take some steps that this kind of inadvertent overlap is going to happen less in the future.
===

Agree with a couple of things.

1) the save or die has got to go. A save or confused at least allows the chance to nullify the condition.

2) fighting a single crazed bard is a one round roll the rocker.

3) a 13th level sorceress can summon up a lot of help given a few round to prepare, which completely takes care of action economy problems, so that analysis was off-base.

4) The frustrated cloud giant's first attack should be crashing his lute down on someone to convey his irritation. Playing the lute becomes a weapon!

5) the presence of Baku are easily explained as dream eaters, nightmare hags are nightmare makers, and Leng are of the dimension of dreams. I could see the parallels instantly. No need to justify them.

6) I know you lost, but the adventure was a great idea, so don't despair! you did great!

==Bob Drouin

Just saw the post.

Mr. Kuntz, is there any thought of pulling a Burlew and seeing if you could crowdsource funding for such an adventure via Kickstarter? I understand negotiating with WoTC to use World of Greyhawk material might be a stretch, but I'm sure there are a LOT of old grognards around here to make a third generation of the Fantastic Adventure viable!

If the word got out, I think you might be suprised at the level of support. Maure Castle was an awesome 3.5 adventure, after all.

==Bob Drouin

Interplanetary space?
Cthulthu stuff in between?

John Carter at the movies?

I'm already an AP subscriber, but HELLS YEAH I'd get something like this.

===Bob Drouin

Well, we can all hope. They'd probably change the damage mechanic to just multiple touch attacks for damage, take down the AC and SR 1 point each, ramp up the Int score to 8 and give it 10 ranks in Perception.

DR would get changed to 5/cold iron or simply done away with. If they change attacks to normal, then they'll have to move the flight speed up to 40' to compensate for lack of double moves.

i.e. I doubt any of the mechanics I introduced would make the cut! :P

I WOULD like to see if how they 'cut it to fit' deviates much from what I described above, and how they'd stat out the 'crowd of tentacles' effect. Maybe with a week off, the judges will comment more specifically now that I addressed so many of the points from their commentary above, but who knows?

===Bob Drouin

Negative energy subtype is...interesting. Certainly stronger then negative energy affinity.

Louis is taking a harder look at it and wondering if it's even possible to make them a PC race, or whether he should just make them monsters and encounters. What he wants to have happen, what's balanced, and what is cool and full of flavor are giving him headaches!

Thx for the feedback!

==Bob Drouin

First thoughts, only looking at crunch:

Immunity list a mile long is going to be difficult, but not impossible to balance.

Negative energy affinity is just negative energy affinity, might as well call it by name.

More immunities, but they must meditate. How long do they have to meditate? Also what does "reacts badly" mean, rules wise.

I like the idea of using summon planar ally, but what about all the other summon spells, like summon lesser planar ally or planar binding? Or Gate? And if they don't work, why not?

+2 to a Mental ability score: Non-standard but okay, kind of pushing into being casters.

Fixed Physical abilities: Now I have a problem. You're forcing all of them to be very similar, and ruining any potential they had as a non-caster. Also, how does this interact with point buy, do they have to buy those stats or are they automatic? (This alone ensures that I will never use this race in a game. I don't know if this is suppose to be a balancing mechanism but if so, find a different way to balance it.)

A bunch of stuff about their shell and being 'healed': Ok. I get most of this, though I'm not sure what having their shell breached does, nor do I know why healed has '' around it.

Unable to channel positive energy: I like the idea of this but I'm not sure that I'm thrilled with the execution. Also what does "add their primary mental attribute to the final total when channeling" mean? Does it add to the DC? Damage?

Phasing: They were significantly over powered before we got here. Now they're just cracking the game wide open.

Working from the original race:

Construct type gives a slew of immunities. Unless the type can be changed to a different subset.

Negative energy affinity is nice short hand, agreed.

Meditation is exactly similar to what elves and similar things do...assume it's just a 'restful period'. Now, if we're going to definite 'Meditation' relative to 'sleeping' for different game effects in surprise rounds and stuff, that's a bit different.

Summon Planar Ally works because of the True Name aspect of it, and because their souls are bound inside the Skein of the world...you're basically pulling them back into the world, just like a Raise Dead pulls their spirits back. Once here, they form up their shell, and they are good to go. Also, it's a level 6 spell...basically, for the Uzamati, it gives you an alternative method to bring them back. We could have used the lower level version, but felt that would impugn on Raise Dead's power.

+2 Mental also helps out as monks.

Because of the very long list of immunities and similar capabilities of their shells, we did indeed decide to limit raw physical power. Standardized ability scores seemed to be the best way to do that, with some further customization allowed via traits. Note that this is little different then using standard point buy...and there's a REASON they are all so similar, tied into how they were created. It's also slightly better then the standard point buy...so as a people, they are superior, but not nearly as exceptional. Which is a good thing for constructs, yes?

Whatever primary mental attribute you choose (likely the one that's highest) adds its bonus to the hit points done when channeling negative energy. Missed the 'hit points'.

Preliminary drafts are allowed to have editing errors! :) Thanks for the catch.

The 'phasing' abilities are both a holdover from the original draft of the race and built upon that foundation. Ideally, they'll be broken out as optional 'racial advancement' rules, to be matched up with other racial levels. The Obsidian setting is infused with negative energies and wild magic, and is fairly low magic. Magic is more a function of the character/race then items.

In that regard, are the phasing abilities too powerful by level? Are the costs in line with what they should be? I was attempting to balance utility with cost. At level 1 they'll have 4 phase rounds, at level 20 something like 30. Note that their ability to do extra damage with soulfire, and miss chance from phasing, mitigate some of their lack of exceptional physical power. Indeed, the phasing ability is much more a melee buff then a caster buff. Most of the advanced phasing ability cannot be done while casting.

==Bob Drouin

Heh!
:)
==Bob Drouin

To be honest, if I upped the Int to 8, Perception would have been the default skill. I kinda doubt the thing from outer space worries about a great sense of smell! Plus, the Deathwatch aspect of its ability lets it zero in on living things, detect magic lets it see the magical...the two key abilities it needs to 'eat'. It probably 'sees' by psychic radar or something...since Blindsight doesn't have to be defined, I didn't, and it let me get away with my stupid minion Herald concept.

With spellcraft +18! Heh.

I focused on the Perception comment because I DID look at the need for Perception...and the creature didn't need it, because of Blindsight. Just showing that I DID look at it, and didn't consider it a problem.

Well, my Q are up, my comments from going through the process of the contest. And yes, they are based on the judge's comments, so I DID look at the commentary! Since we can't do a formal Q&A session, I was hoping that a more detailed explanation of the creature might alleviate some of the concerns regarding its 'brutality'.

Clark gave me the okay to go ahead and start the discussion, so I did! :) Hope he reads it all, and then looks at my questions and gives me a few pointers. I thought I covered all the primary concerns of the judges and posters, but I could be wrong.

In other words, if the judges have specific questions about why I did what that I didn't cover, I'd be more then happy to address them!

I in no way think the Cancer is perfect, btw. I'm just showing that I did THINK of a lot of those problems ahead of time, and if I got the balance wrong, I'd like to know the way I'd have to change it to get it INTO balance.

==Bob Drouin

Questions on the Cancer for Clark and any other judges willing to comment:

1) Was the Cilia attack still too strong, given what I was comparing it to? (a 7-8 hd fireball), and the fact you can't get multiple hits, crit, or basically even be surprised by this thing?

2) Downtone the damage, or Con damage (maybe 1 pt of Con dmg instead of 2?)?

3) Still think it's too slow?

4)Is the SR and AC still a point high?

5) Does the cold iron allergy make more sense now, instead of DR/cold iron? Or is something you feel is just dead weight as a new mechanic?

6) Does the 'ooze vs magic' thing still break it? I see 'undead traits' in other places...or is it more that I invoked it while you trying to stay away from oozes completely?

7) Dodge bonus to Reflex saves. :) I liked throwing that one in. I was going to include Shield bonus instead...

8) Understand the high Flight score now? With no ground speed, it has to be able to hover, or its auto-prone when it hits the ground.

9) Does the vulnerability to Positive energy make sense, as a way to eat more party resources, yet a viable tactic? Keep in mind I'm not concerned with Positive energy attack spells...it's not undead, and those kind of spells are extremely specialized. If they can prepare that well for the creature, they deserve it! It'd be like poo-pooing the party for prepping fire spells against Frost Giants or something...

10) How's the fluff looking now? Can you see the allusions to it? Why didn't it grab you the first time?

11) Int 6, high Spellcraft! :)

12) Knowing the explanations for everything now and with more time to review and see how things interact, would you change your review?

:)

Good luck to those advancing to Round 4!

===Bob Drouin

Other little things on the Cancer:

Covered the slow movement: it always takes double moves or runs, so there IS no movement problem.

It's got a point higher SR to reflect the fact that it likes to eat magic. It's got a point higher AC then standard to reflect that it is a bit of a toughie to hack apart. Both were by design. Also, Spell Penetration is a good feat to have. SR's on CR 7's ranged from 16 to 21, so I didn't feel too off.

HP for CR 7's ranged from 75ish to 110. 95 makes it able to soak some punishment up.

Saves were LOW. Its tough, but stupid and slow. It won't make most saves, especially the Reflex saves most likely to hit it.

Ability scores, to put it bluntly, were quite low. Take away its size bonus, and its str 8. The only high stat was Con, because of the unnatural vitality of its cancerous body.

Fast healing was there to reflect the accelerated cell growth of cancer.

DR 5/- was there to reflect that you are hacking into a thing of mutated flesh without a real anatomy, and you have to do a fair amount of harm to actually hit anything vital. Between it and fast healing, its also some defense against missile fire...it can seek cover and recover some hit points, so you do have to go hunting it.

Fire and cold resistance was thematic to describe how it survives deep space and starfalling.

Spellcraft is there as a skill to reflect the fact that it, NOT knowledge (Arcane), is the skill of knowing magic! IF you want to reflect the fact some monsters knows a lot about magic, as opposed to magic-using people, history, and beasts, you use Spellcraft. Know (Arc) does not help you scribe spells or make magic items. I did NOT have it in there for identifying spells in combat...that's just a useful side effect.

I REALLY enjoyed giving it Spell focus (Spellcraft). At 10HD, the +6 bonus was like giving it an 18 Int as far as knowing about how magic goes! Otherwise, its got an Int of 6! :) Pure fluff!

The fact several of its abilities didn't work on aberrations was to contribute to its fluff of being vulnerable to other aberrations, and easily enslaved by them.

===============

Answers to some other things:

I didn't make a mistake on Unnatural Aura by not printing its range. Per contest rules, if an ability pre-exists and you aren't making any changes, just list the ability. The text for Unnatural Aura specified 60, so I left it off.

As a convenience, yes, nice to have it. But was I wrong?

I have no idea how I lost the 'ft' from the other aura ability. Or how I missed the typo on Aberrations.

=========================
I strongly advise future contestants to print out their submissions and compare it to a template where they can make alterations. I, no lie, updated my form 14 times once I copied it into the submission thing before I actually submitted it. Sean "Master of Technical Editing" K Reynolds still got to wield his red pen.

I also found it annoying the word count was 'up off' the submission screen after you clicked 'preview'. I had to go looking for it!
================================

The Five Feats 'miscount' wasn't, either. I had to ask if Following Step could be taken as a feat without pre-reqs. I still wanted it to count towards the feat total. I was told to just make it a bonus feat, so I did, completely ignoring the fact that if treated as 'extra' instead of 'no pre-reqs' it would muck up the feat count. Honestly, I only wanted, like, 3 feats for the thing.

That's why there's no 'step-up'. 1) No pre-reqs meaning it didn't need it and 2) I had five feats, and its all I wanted.

And that's why I mucked up on the initiative, too. I revised the Dex to make it qualify for Following Step, then made it a bonus feat, and forgot to adjust Initiative in the wake...arggggh.

Getting called out for no Perception skill was amusing, when something with blindsight doesn't need to make Perception checks. Unfortunately, having a judge make an error doesn't earn you bonus points, since you can't correct it! Heh.

=============
On Figurine of Familiar Power:

Ryan Dancey making the error of thinking a familiar was a 'long term choice' instead of something you can change with a simple ceremony or feat was a wincer. On the other hand, he had a lot of submissions to read!

I also still can't believe I mucked up on Summon Monster I. Aaargh. Showing me age, I guess. When I knew that, I knew SKR was going to be zinging me on every submission, because I don't have anyone available to proof for me.

==================
On Fear, Fist and Flame:

Neil had it exactly right as far as the Resources, where it tells you to add a Paragraph. To put it bluntly, the template instructions do NOT match the example. There is NO paragraph directly following the Resources opening sentence in the small box for ANY of the default five organizations...I looked at ALL of them.

In other words, the template didn't match the example given, so I went with the template. And so one sentence became a paragraph of explanation.

So, thanks, Neil!

as far as organizations and a 'safe choice', again, organizations are all tropes now, just like all monsters are.

Basically organizations are going to be:

1) Military Brotherhoods, usually knights. The Cause and history is the flavor. Enter the Hellknights.
2) Cults, be it divine or philosophic or racial. A unifying belief in something profound. The Cult of Aroden is this. Both organizations in Carrion Crown are this.
3) Treasure hunters, be it trophies, monster hunters, lore or gold. Pathfinders are treasure hunters, just about info and glory more then money.
4) Guilds, out to make money by selling services. Mercs, merchants, assassins, wizards/lorekeepers. The Red Mantis is a cult and Guild combo. The Aspis Consortium is a guild.
5) Thieves, be it raiders, bandits, pirates or burglars. Any bandit company combines this and mercs.
6) Arms of the government - legal or otherwise. Intelligence agencies are ripe in this area. The Eagle Knights are like this, differentiated from the Hellknights by being an arm of the government.

Pretty much EVERY submission is going to fall into one of these tropes. That's not a bug, it's a feature...tropes let people immediately identify with something. So, I firmly believe the judges should keep away from the stale/safe/seen it before language, because everyone has seen ALL the tropes before...it's what you do with the tropes.

Mine was a racial cult that hires out as a mercenary force to give it a center of interaction with PC's. The 'cult' aspect should have little effect on the campaign, but it provides a very strong unifying fluff element. The mercenary part of it is basically run as a resource for the clans. The two combined make the whole thing very flexible and easy to use and drop into any campaign, which was one of my goals. It's 'regional' if you're in the Hold, but FFF can be found just anywhere they're hired to go...broadly useful to a DM.

===Bob Drouin

Well, it's also a case of word restrictions and inability to answer questions! :)

Caineach, cold iron IS harder to enchant (+3k for that first enhancement). I'm reminded of Houses of the Moon, where they have an anti-magic metal that, if you put it in dust form and rub on your skin, actually becomes part of you...no spellcasting, but no spellcasting on you, see right through invisibility too...Metals that ignore magic are a staple of fiction, just like magic that can fry men is.

Of course, 'cold iron' historically just means steel, and 3E made it something unique...but steel has always historically been the rebuttal to magic, and the touch of iron is anathema to a lot of creatures, NOT just bypassing DR (fey, especially). I'm on solid ground historically, but 'unwanted mechanic' probably sums it up. IMO, silver and cold iron should be allergies, magic/adamant should be DR, and alignment should be allergy damage, too...

In all honesty, I'm not sure what else I could have named it. It's a thing so abhorrent it gets spit out of the sky, so the things in the void don't have to deal with it.

And I don't have the new solar system, but isn't there a living planet now? Wouldn't ejecting corruptions to its system just fit these things perfectly? :)

==Bob Drouin

I'd also like to note, I could have used 'undead traits' for the Cancer instead of ooze traits, and gotten roughly the same effect...except ooze fits the monster far more then undead does.

==Bob Drouin

3) Horror from the VOid fluff.

When I decided on using a space-born aberration, it was for several reasons.

1) It's a floating mass of cancer. Of COURSE it's an aberration.

2) Where's it from? You got ancient terror of the past (no), spawn of dead gods (nah), mutated thing from monstrous experiments (totally random and overdone, might as well call it a chimera), or something from outer space. If you try to make it a thing bubbled together from those who died of mass diseases, you've got undead, some form of ghoul, not an aberration.

o.0

3) Environment. Any but aquatic. It can't move in water because it's an unaerodynamic lump of flesh, and maybe it drowns as it babbles and whispers in Aklo. Whatever, no aquatic. Purple meteors hitting the ocean instead of the land saves flumphs a lot of effort. The cancers should aim better.

By making it come from space, you can justify it being ANYWHERE on the surface. So, that satisfies the random encounter for any DM needing it. Meteors coming down are cool.

Furthermore, the idea of 'meteor shower' bringing down a plague of tentacled, flesh-warping monsters that are ripping apart the landscape hunting the sweet flesh that is always running screaming from them was too much to resist. Grells got nothing on these guys.

And the 'purple trail' they leave is something the flumphs and druidic stargazers are always watching for, and when they see that particular shade they grab their masterwork cold iron and go swarming to the attack before the cancer decimates the environment. Major fluff tie-in with two possible links to power groups.

SUBTERRANEAN environment meant you had enslaved Cancers...there's another master Aberration around forcing them into service, listening the magical lore their high Spellcraft score is letting them blabber stupidly about, unable to help themselves or defy their new masters. What terrible secrets might a void-dweller know that they could bend to their own uses?

So, another fluff tie-in.

Space-born just worked too well from all angles.

I noted elsewhere that I pictured there were eight or nine Heralds from the Dark Tapestry, and those are the primary things the flumphs are watching for from the stars. The Second Darkness had the Green Heralds, coming out of their meteors and turning living things into zombies. here come the Purple Heralds, turning things into squirming warpflesh, and, if they fail to eat you, the pulsing remains of you mix together with your friends and family and form ever-hungry gibbering mouthers...

So, what would the other Heralds be? A DM could have all kinds of fun. Are the Mi-Go a Herald? The Grell?

Furthermore, is color related to power? If so, how dangerous are the Black Heralds? The White Heralds?

:)

===Bob Drouin

Ok, going back over my review of this guy, I realize I was a lot harsher than I should have been. I like the monster conceptually. I just think mechanically it needed work. It has a bunch of wierd exceptions and quirks that don't really add much and it could do without. It looks like you overthought it and it suffered for it. But overall, you got a monster with the visuals and theme you were going for. The image you linked to is exactly what I saw in my head from the description. With a revision, I would like this guy a lot.

EXACTLY.

I swung hard...intro'd new mechanics, new monster and lots of subtle interactions were involved in that.

BOOM. Nobody really had the time to think it all through, see what was actually going on. It crashed and burned, and my inability to explain it was too frustrating. Without an explanation, I was doomed, and with even a hint at one, to look a little deeper, I got DQ'd. The stress was too much. Meh.

==========================

The idea of a monster is to consume party resources, reward preparation, and still be something of a challenge and a danger.

This thing is going to do damage to you. It can fly, so it can reach you. SPellcasters always have to cast defensively around it. It doesn't need a Perception score...it has Blindsight. Blindsight means it sees things around it without needing a Perception check...I wondered how one of the JUDGES missed that. It has a high Fly skill because hovering is a DC 15 check you can't take 10 on in combat...and if it falls to the ground, it's prone, because it doesn't have a ground move. So it's a very steady, very precise flier.

You have to hack it apart. If you've got a positive energy channeller, the thing erupts in blossoms of mutating flesh as you 'heal' it and your friends, hoping they can do more damage to it then they are taking.

If you have non-magical cold iron weapons, you are rewarded by being able to do extra monstrous crits on it. If you don't, the DR isn't that substantial.

What it does not do is one or two round kills, unless you are VERY weak. If you are in the danger zone, you can run far and fast and it can't catch you.

==Bob Drouin

3) Why alien horror from the void was a big swing.

The Alien Horror wasn't a big swing at all. It was the mechanics that were the big swing.

Basically, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING monster-wise is tired hash by now. You got plant monster and wicked fey and undead killers and yawnyawnyawn. Everything is a trope by now.

It's how you flavor each trope.

4th mechanic: Allergic to non-magical cold iron.

Paizo, like 3.5 before it, has an aversion to the idea that being 'non-magical' is a strength, that, for instance, non-casters should be more resistant to magic then casters are.

This is very odd, especially when dealing with cold iron, the anti-magic special metal. Enchanting common steel gives it the anti-magic power of cold iron at +3. That just strikes me as slightly wrong.

So, I gave it DR 5/-, and taking additional damage from non-magical cold iron.

That means that a non-magical cold iron masterwork weapon is +1/+5 against this critter. Because this additional damage is multiplied on a crit, it is actually MORE potent then DR/COld iron, which can be bypassed by +3 OR Cold iron. By making it additional damage, I was giving PC's and NPC's the equivalent of a +2 weapon (using Power Attack, a two handed PA for -1/+3 is +1/+5) against these creatures...with a +5 kicker if they crit.

Mages are rewarded if they prepare for monsters and encounters. The preparation for this monster is masterwork cold iron weapons and not magic ones...which makes it easier to justify NPC's taking these things down.

DR 5/- is barely a bump for any power attacker at this level, it just slows down the attrition slightly...and particularly archery. THe Cancer always has the option of breaking combat with a double move, finding cover, and regaining hit points if harassed from all sides by cold iron that actually causes its flesh to blacken and burn it...doing extra damage, not just bypassing a defense.

Thematically, closer to what silver is described to do to lycanthropes, actually burning them, not just rendering them as vulnerable as normal things. The 'allergy' conveyed the flavor much better, with a higher payoff.

And (crash) (burn). Heh!

==Bob Drouin

2) This monster is considered an ooze for all magical effects that do not come from another Aberration.

Well, its a floating mass of cancerous tissue...a big floating thing of tentacles and corrupted meat. It's definitely ooze-like from that stand point.

I wanted a creature that could not be flesh-warped, and something with a cancerous brain hailing from the stars would have as warped a mindset as any undead thing.

Except, you know, to other Aberrations, which understand these things perfectly well, being every bit as unnatural as they are.

THe example someone used of a Scorching Ray not critting was a horrid example...Rays crit because they are attack rolls, not because they are spells. So, yes, you could still crit with a Scorching Ray. Couldn't reply to that, either.

Furthermore, it was only an ooze to magic, which I pictured as it 'eating' some of the magic that was supposed to effect it. A normal character had no problem critting it with a greatsword or rapier.

(As a side note, All-Around Vision means 'no flanking this thing', why would it be put under senses instead of special defenses?)

What this meant is a) controlling aberrations would have little problem taking control of the Purple Heralds and enslaving them to their will, torturing them if need be, and b) flumphs could rip on these bastards. The Cancers are basically frightened of most other aberrations.

Everybody else gets to hack and fry the things. It rewards a blaster build and direct damage, or supporting the rest of the party. Battlefield control, enslavement spells, and flesh to stoning, not so much.

What it was NOT was a pure ooze. Couldn't flow through places. No defense against weapon blows. You could actually INTIMIDATE it! The ooze-like traits meant you could not morph or charm it...you had to hack it apart. And it didn't divide in two and attack you with smaller peices.

And it went perfectly with the flavor.

=======
So that was swing for the fence #3. Major fluff tie-in. Was hoping people would see the fluff aspect of it. That didn't work, either! :P

==Bob Drouin

Sure, Clark! I was going to go into more detail, and I would love more feedback...and corrections, if my math is off.

1) Well, if you look, I completely removed the melee/attack line on the template, because the monster doesn't have one. It has what basically amounts to a 6d6, 15' radius AoE, save for no damage, with a potential kicker effect.

at 7th level, a level 8 wizard with a 1/day lesser Rod of Quicken can hit the party for 8d6 from 400' away, then, if they win initiative, drop 2 x 8d6 fireballs on them.

And you still take half damage if you save. Unless you have Evasion.

I wanted a monster who could do good, consistent damage, but could NOT one shot kill, on a crit or otherwise. Compare to a hill giant with a battleaxe...one Power Attack crit, and smush, dead level 7 character. Getting Surprise and then a first attack on a mage could also level a character.

The Cancer cannot do that.

Furthermore, the daze-lock means that a normal monster couldn't attack. Because this is an AoE effect, you still have to make that save for no damage, even if the monster couldn't move! You could daze-lock and try to range attack it down...but that's no different then Black Tentacling or Holding something and shooting it down. It still spends resources.

The average damage I originally put at 1/2 Hit Dice + Con modifier, so 5d6+5. That worked out exactly to the average damage of a monster of that level.

Like any AoE attack, you don't stay in the area of the AoE. You split up. The mage fireballing you from way over there isn't going to be allowed to hit all of you.

The average level 7 character with a poor Reflex save should have about a +6 to their save, so saving on a 13+...40%, for NO damage. A level 7 with a Good Reflex save is going to be at a +9. If they have a 20 Dex, +12 or better (rogues).

a level 7 wizard with a 14 Con and FC/hit points is going to have about 49 hit points. that means he could stand directly under the creature and it should take 4 rounds to kill him, since he's going to save for no effect for 2/5 rounds.

Likewise, he'll make the save against the fort damage 2/5 rounds, his fort save should be about +6 or higher.

Now a fighter-type should just go in there and two hand whack on it, since his shield does little good. He'll take the damage, but he's got probably 55% chance to make the fort save, higher if buffed, and should also last an average of 4 rounds.

Key here, the Cancer does NOT get Attacks of Opportunity. No defensive AoE's against grappling, spellcasters, anything. It has no ways of doing extra damage...it can't crit, can't AoO...it can move over on top of something and try to reduce to a stinking mass of squirming tumors and wriggling postules which it happily slurps up.

Reflex saves aren't penalized by being surprised...and this thing, with two auras screaming about how unnatural is, can't surprise anything.

I decided to use a Reflex save targeting mechanism instead of multiple touch attacks, because I didn't like the idea of runaway crits, and a +10 touch attack would like hit on a 4+ for most level 7 characters...meaning it was far more lethal if all directed at any one character, especially melee types. By moving the 'target number' to a reflex save, I effectively gave everyone about +4 AC, removed crit hits and one-round kills, and favored classes with high dex.

The idea that this could be used to 'smite' everyone posited by the judges boggled my mind. As soon as it became plain what was going on, the party would split up, and do a combination of ranged and melee attacks to take it down, with the tough and agile hacking it apart while the mage tried ranged attacks and the cleric blew his channelled healing in a race to keep the melee types up, and healing the aberration while freezing it in place at the same time!

Thus, using party resources!

I tacked the Dodge bonus as an add-on, since a Dodge bonus is nothing more then a Dex bonus in disguise. Furthermore, since it hit stuff 'entering its area of effect', that was basically a movement-based AoO, and MOBILITY would apply. A spring attacker would have an excellent chance of being completely immune to the thing during an attack...which is why following step is in there, to hit those who pause just outside its reach.

Furthermore, the 'each round remains' meant that if you entered the thing's area on your turn, you didn't take extra damage on ITS turn...you took it on the beginning of your turn, if you were still underneath it.

Thus, unless your DM did something really metagamey, like running over you, past, and turning around to do it again (Int 6, nah), you were absolutely limited to being faced with a fireball with a DC 19 save for no damage every round. And if your party stayed a decent distance apart, only one of them was in any danger...or anyone swarming it in melee.

===========
Tying into this was the movement rate of 20'. I was mind-boggled that people thought it was too slow. I honestly thought it might be too fast.

Why? Because this thing is a moving AoE. It doesn't take standard actions. It just double moves all the time, or Runs.

Thus, it moves 40' every round, or 80' if it's got a straight line to 'charge'. Slow? It's faster then most of the party! (at least, without Haste)

A normal character is not going to be able to 'kite' it without having a move higher then 40'. If it's in a straight line, they'll need a move of 80'+ to avoid it from round to round.

So this was my part 1 and 2 of Swing for the Fences. Reducing the melee attack to a controlled Area of Effect, making something slow still potent and dangerous.

==Bob Drouin

Thank you for the posting, Ian!

I will be going more into the detail of the process I went through. Needless to say, without having someone handy to vette submissions ahead of time, I'm flying by seat of the pants...I envy Neil with his support structure!

As for the name Cancer...very few people are aware of just how old the term is. The 'cancer' has long meant any form of mysterious death that people couldn't figure out the real cause of...it wasn't until the 1800's that they could actually diagnose its existence, if not its cause. And Cancer the Crab is one of the Zodiac!

I am also aware of what cancer can do to people. Even if the high profile media cases weren't enough, I had my neighbor three doors down growing up die from lung cancer; the father of my older sister's best friend was diagnosed and put in the ground a month later; my dad's brother got esophagal cancer and went from a 6'2 270 pound bull of a man to under 100 lbs by the time he died. A good, good man, a client of mine at the firm I work got diagnosed with stage 4 the day after Labor Day, and they buried him on Thanksgiving.

I'm very aware of what cancer is and can do, just as I've seen the ravaging effects of Alzheimer's first hand on friends and family. The word conjured up images of physical corruption that is almost impossible to fight.

And my inspiration was right here:

http://www.sciencemag.org/content/335/6068/528.full

that, my friends, is the picture of a death cell receptor in a cancer cell. Add more tentacles in all directions, and that is my monster.

What ELSE could I call it?

==Bob Drouin

Just waiting for results to be announced on Monday for some more posting!

Y'know, not having the stress of competition made this a much more relaxing weekend then last one!

Thanks for the kind comments! Now wish good luck to the survivors!

==Bob Drouin

Oh, I'm not detracting from mechanical problems with the monster, Clark.

As for 'stale and safe'...well, by now you've been in the business for twenty years. There really isn't anything fresh and new, it's all in taking old tropes and repackaging them to be palatable. You didn't find it palatable.

Horrors from space are usually evil masterminds. My Cancer is effectively an aberrant slave race sent ahead by greater masters to scourge the way for those behind, and possibly raise an army of random killers (gibbering mouthers) which it doesn't even control, and prefers to eat instead (so not a spawn maximizer). In between, it gets enslaved by terrestrial aberrations who bend its gifts and dark knowledge to their own purposes. All the fluff and several build aspects of the creature point to it, especially its Spellcraft and lack of resistance to the spells of other, more powerful and controlling aberrations...or attacking flumphs (who are aberrations), as the case might be. But nobody figured out why I would DO that. All fluff and deeper story set-up.

I set it up as the 'anti-flumph'...big, stupid, hungry, enslaved by greater members of its own kind easily, yet possessed of MANY dark secrets. Remember the creatures that fell on Golarion in the second book of the dark elf AP? I mentally characterized them as the "Green Heralds of the Tapestry", figuring the unique star metal would also burn a particular color that the flumphs and star-gazers are also looking for. There would be 8 'Herald' races based on the colors of their starfalls, and they are what the flumphs are always watching the stars for...

It's certainly not the feral monster from beyond, or the unthinkable mastermind...it's got an Int score of 6. It's stupid, hungry, easily enslaved and easily used. That whole comment of Neil Spicer and the improved Invisibility that you pounced on was really wounding...being invisible and attacking doesn't penalize a Reflex save at all (flat footed only applies to AC), and it didn't do any additional damage, nor get any extra attacks (compare to, say, Rogue/8). Plus, its natural Stealth modifier would be like -2, and it's got Unnatural Aura...you can feel it coming from 60' away, and the direction. It's almost impossible for it to surprise anyone or anything, invisible or not. And that's not even counting the aura that makes a spellcaster's brain start gyrating (gee, there might be something around which does that...time for a Knowledge check)! Being invisible basically gave it a miss chance if you swung at it, that was it...and fighting ANYTHING that is Improved Invisible does that. That mage would be much better casting Imp Invis on the hillgiant with the large falchion that can turn Power Attack into big hits/crits and one or two hit all the no-dex creatures he can smack with basically the same reach...and who the party will basically walk into, triggering AoO's, if he just stands in place.

But all that fluff aspect of it got missed. I put a lot of thought into that....I wasn't trying to be safe or stale or anything like that. I was going for the fences. Backstory, theme, filling a new niche, able to be expounded upon. Big picture stuff. Not stale, in my mind.

As for the mechanics of what I made, well, that's going to wait until tomorrow. I'm not in agreement on several points, but it was the judge's call. (tips hat) It was too complex, it got shot down.

I think I intro'd too much stuff...I was swinging. There wasn't anything out there quite like it, and it didn't take. (shrugs) Them's the breaks. I did the math, and hoped it would carry over.

Next year, I won't be so radical if I do it again. You considered it safe and stale, I most certainly didn't, but that's all a matter of viewpoints.

:) I have no hard feelings, I just learned what works and what doesn't! KISS, and I was the S.
========

BTW, I have the original Rappan Athuk modules and I am definitely an old schooler, so keep up the good work! I regret I had cash flow problems during your 3.5 heyday and couldn't support you more, but I'm building up to get your Tsar books when they are compiled into one...or are they already? I have limited space, so I don't want to buy multiple books if I can help it.

==Bob Drouin

Heh.

I put in the subtle, non-combat stuff, and got reamed for it.

#4 definitely didn't work for me, while CLark is focusing on #3 for big picture stuff.

I'll go into more detail tomorrow, when voting closes.

==BOb Drouin

Always a shame to see any part of a contest end in disqualification. :-(

I also hope you try again next year.

Oh, I've already got my item for next year!

==Bob Drouin

Meh, no apologies needed, Rep. The stress of negative comments overall was the turning point, not any one in particular. I knew I shouldn't have taken a hard swing like I did, but the comments on playing it safe got to me.

Another lesson learned for next year! KISS.

==Bob Drouin

Oh, I'm not mad. Thanks for the sympathy, all!

But they did completely remove my thread, hmm. Which is going to make it deuced hard to get comments on it once the voting is down, as I'd like to go through my thought processes when making my beast.

Am I going to be allowed to repost my submission and deconstruct it once voting is done?

Also, I'd like to post a link to the picture which inspired my creature, and now that I'm out of the competition, was wondering if that was okay...or to once again wait for the voting to end.

And yes, I did vote for some of you other people! ;) Good luck to you all, and hopefully you gnaw your shields longer then I did!

===Bob Drouin

Hokay dokay. I have no hard feelings...I was pleased to advance two rounds! Hopefully I can get some commentary/critiques from the judges when I lay out the full reasonings behind my build.

==Bob D.

ah, well, clammed up too late, and it's my own fault. Swinging for the fences is a nasty thing.

Everyone who voted for me, make sure you shift your votes, now that you've got a spare!

I assume this does mean I can comment on the build for real, or should I still wait until voting is done?

===Bob D.

So the lesson of Round 3 is:

1) Ability to exactly follow a template
2) Ability to adjust your rocking monster to a specific CR level, in essence showing you understand how to advance a monster up and down the CR scale for inclusion in any module.
3) Have a monster that is also cool to visualize and DM's would not mind running.
4) Possibly stretch the definitions of what are possible with monsters.
5) Not devolve to specific types of monsters, i.e. place restrictions on what you can and cannot design.

Hopefully I'll touch all five areas!

==Aelryinth

No, I put in a flurry of last minute changes. Raised the dex...and then the Int...and made it a bonus feat...and changed Flight to Fly...and added a semi-colon I'd missed...and changed modifiers...and altered some minor language so as not to repeat adjectives so much...chewed my nails down over word count...hoped the mechanic I used works...altered movement rate again...and nat armor...changed the skills...changed them again...

meh! So MUCH bloody fine-tuning.

I might have an extra space in my special attack. Heh.

oh, well, here's hoping! My Submission is IN.

==Bob Drouin

Meh. For word count, I'm better off just changing the stat. Bleh. Oh, well.

==BOb D.

As it is getting close to submission time and I've got one question here...

Do monsters worry about prereqs on feats?

My submission doesn't have the dex for a feat, and I'm totally unclear if that has to be supported in the text!

If I don't get an answer I'll have to submit as is, and cross my fingers that it won't be disqualified for inaccurate sourcing.

==Bob Drouin

Also keep in mind that the description of half-orcs does not match their racial stats. Half-orcs are described as bigger, tougher and stronger then humans, but actually have the exact same racial mods.

Making Half-orcs +2 Str, +2 Con, with -2 to a mental stat of their choice, would make a better match, and would also match the divisions among the clans, as the wise cover for the clever who cover for the passionate.

==Bob Drouin

Man, there's a lot of typos in that stuff up there. Bah.

Is what happens when you don't reread it three times to edit it. Apologies, all.

==Bob Drouin

If you want to introduce half-orc racial pride, the best way to do so is to rename the race.

I personally use 'urukhar', which translates from the Orcish as "Children of Battle", which distills the essence of the race.

A more arrogant name would be 'Gorumi', tying them deeper as the chosen of their god.

==Bob Drouin

Races with other races are fairly cool among the clans. The very fact they are a mercenary company insures this.

Orcs are seen as strong, brutal savages who cannot get their act together, infected by the worship of Rovagug and unable to make anything of significance. The clans slaughter orcs without the slightest compunction, because that is how orcs think life should be. This absolute willingness to slaughter orcs is one of the things that garners the most respect from orcs, as is their perfect willingness to serve against a former employer once a contract has ended. The fact they do not break contracts in mid-battle for coin is somewhat suprising to many orcish warlords, but again a strong point in negotiations, as the orcs know that the FFaF is actually reliable, and Hornshiver in particular can turn an unruly mob of warriors into a savage sword of destruction.

===============
Humans are seen as opportunistic, cunning, clever, and ultimately divided, unable to reliably unite, weak in their clinging to civilization...but are definitely resourceful and great examples of what might be possible, as well as overflowing with gold and knowledge the clan could use.

Original mercenary services of controlling monsters and leading orcs to die for the clan proved fruitful, and the clan has expanded their prescence in civilized realms. The lady bards of Hornshiver, who can often pass for human, are particularly useful in dealing with humans and garnering contacts among wealthy nobles who don't mind dealing with unconventional forces. Complete willingness to emply underhanded subtlety or brutal destruction has since proved quite successful in enhancing the coffers of the clan, which Hornshiver turns into wealth and magic for all. It is also quiet fact that human lords in Lastwall have managed to hire FFaF to deal with orcish threats, which the half-orcs have done with suprising subtlety (one incident involved getting an invading orcish warlord to insult his hired Hornshiver officers, and the Dreadhands went berserk and slaughtered the warlord and his entire staff), at the same time they are perfectly willing to assault Lastwall fortifications and defenses and keep the humans respectful of the strength of Belkzen. That orcs and humans die in such conflicts is generally not a concern of the clan at all.

================
Elves are, for the large part, considered cowardly interlopers and decadent weaklings. The clan has no particular hatred for them, unlike many orcs, and regards them as rather effete and a waste of breathing space. The manipulative, arrogant nature of elves often leads to the clans putting a sword into such...but the FFaF was also hired by a particularly desperate elven noble to deal with cultists of Treerazer infecting the borders of the elven realm. The Fists happily tore the demon-worshippers apart, and are now waiting for the elves to 'manipulate' them into more such activity...for a dear price.

================
The clans hold a paradoxical view of the Dwarves. The Dwarves are quietly acknowledged as the 'fathers' of the entire half-orc race, for it was the Quest for Sky that drove orcs into the overworld and into contact with humanity. Thus, the clans hold no hatred for Dwarves whatsoever...without them, half-orcs would not exist.
On the other hand, the divisiveness that split the Dwarven race and destroyed their power, and the hidebound traditions of the Dwarves, draws their contempt. They see the Dwarves as a fallen people of little influence.
On the other hand, the Quest for Sky has ardent admirers among the clans. The Quest for Land, a realm of their own, is based on this single-minded focus. In short, the clans find the tales of Dwarves both inspirational, and a warning not to fall into the same traps.

=============
Half-orcs understand halflings as those lorded over by stronger beings understand one another. Where the clans fight back, halflings must use stealth. The clans rarely keep slaves, simply because their orcish kin do, and any slaves can earn their freedom by proving useful. The FFaF will hire out to halflings as readily as anyone, and can respect the stealthy cunning of the small folk the same way they admire their own human-blooded. Outside of uses of that stealth, halflings receive little notice from the clans, probably to the approval of both races.

===========
The clans get along with gnomes almost startlingly well. In addition to finding their black humor and spontaneity highly amusing...and understanding what it is like to live under a curse of doom. The gnomish desire for new experience dovetails easily with the clans' desire for glory, much to the suprise of many gnomes, and gnomes are generally well-treated by the clans as a result.

==============
Half-elves are seen by the clan with a mixture of pity and understanding. To be saddled with weak elven blood is one thing, but then to be caught between your bloodlines, instead of reconciling them to become something greater? The clans tend to dismiss half-elves as a race, unable to find a greater collective destiny, and furthermore without a true Divine Patron to inspire them. Individual half-elves who have come to terms with what they are can earn respect, but the clans stereotype half-elves as weepy fools who have no kin or home or anything to believe in, and it colors all such interactions with them.

=====================
Other half-orcs are seen as recruits to the dream of racial unity, supremacy, and as the preferred children of Gorum. Although those outside the bloodlines are never given positions of leadership, they can easily be mates to leaders, and their children are considered full members of the clans. The clans prize large families, and treat females far better then their orcish kin, which unsuprisingly has led to a large number of orcish mates, if nothing else.
The clans are not at all unaware of the hard and bitter lives of other half-orcs, nor are they overly trusting of newcomers. Duplicity and self-interest runs hard in orcish blood, and newcomers are tested repeatedly to determine their motivations, faith, and trustworthiness. Those who wish can find the kind of family, understanding, and purpose in their lives that few imagined. Others, are used and disposed of if they are unable to exhibit loyalty to their own, much like orcs.

====================================
Relations with the Church of Gorum are energetic, to say the least. The ardor for battle of the clans is certainly not up for debate, but their interpretation of Gorum as having the soul of half-orc stirs up a lot of blood on both human and orc sides of the line. The clans consider this as just another challenge. There is no way to legitimize their belief except by brute force...exactly Gorum's way. When they can stand tall under Gorum's stare and human and orc rejection of their beliefs sounds like the foolishness it is, Gorum will doff his helm and the truth will be made apparant to all.

========
Relations with minions of Rovagug are also energetic, usually on the brutal slaughter and rampant destruction side. The clans pay back the corruption of their forebear with great energy, showing the mad fools what true destruction is, and they don't much care what manner of servants Rovagug has. A lot of orcs have been goaded into fights by the clans simply because of their faith, and more then a few tribes completely wiped out, or decimated by being drawn into fighting against other orcs. Fighting servants of Rovagug is a proud tradition in the families that bloods them for greater duties in the FFaF, and brings much glory to Gorum in the process.

==============
Conflict: The Fear, Fist and Flame can be encountered anywhere members of the clans can scry and be teleported to.

The Fear will be encountered in a leadership capacity. Sage sorcerors in the field will usually use charmed or summoned monsters to wreak damage, staying out of the fighting, and will vacate their kinfolk if the situation turns sour. Lady bards will buff other forces brought to the fight by their employers, be it savage humanoids or loyal house troops, or even rival adventurers. WHile opportunistic for ways to profit, they will hold to the spirit of their contracts...and turn on employers who betray them with all the fury of their kinfolk. The distinctive bone-chilling call of the Fear's warhorns has become very well-known in the Hold of Belkzen.

The Fist will be encountered in personal combat, often leading orcish warriors who hire on for the glory of battle. Unless a Hornshiver officer is present, the Fist tends to be uncoordinated and happy to simply engage in brutal melee combat. With Hornshivers directing them, ambushes, feints, strikes and raids are more commonplace, as their more intelligent kin strive to keep the Fist alive to fight another day.

The Flame is brought in to succor the clan, heal the warriors, and to watch their souls. In battle, they bring explosive combat magic, often directed against fortifications and dense formations to clear the way for other forces. Members of the Flame are guarded fanatically by the Fist, who see them as the shepherds of their souls, and the Flame is also the force used to strike against betraying employers with fire and vengeance.
=================
Due to the mountainous terrain of the Hold, the clan places little emphasis on cavalry, despite knowing and acknowledging the power demonstrated by the crusaders of Lastwall. Around Hornshiver, the ability to ride mounts is being expanded upon, sometimes to include monstrous creatures that the members of the Fist can empathize with. There is not a significant archery specialty among the clans...this practice is usually in the hands of mates or hirelings, although again the Hornshiver are well aware of its uses.

The capture, breaking and training of monstrous creatures is proving to be an interesting and profitable sideline, be it noble pegasi or hungry wyverns. When not engaged in conflict or training, many members of the Fist help in this task. The Fear spends its downtime making items of magic for the clan, finding new contacts and contracts, and looking (plotting) for opportunities. The Flame watches over them all, maintains the tower of Burning Dreams, and insures the soul of the clans stays pure.

The FFaF doesn't engage in much subtle planning, although they are often hired for it. Most of their self-directed activity is as public as such things can get, as you can boast and bring glory on yourself for deeds that are too secretive. This is not to say they aren't aware of, and can't appreciate subtlety...Hornshiver in particular is very good at seeing things and saying nothing, using that information to gain profitable employment. While aware of things like blackmail, treason, smuggling, extortion, and similar criminal things, the clans will only get paid to do such things, and don't seek to become a criminal force themselves, seeing it as a civilized weakness. Using such tactics against them tends to result in immediate violence, as the ritual that bound their blood to one another engenders great loyalty in the face of things that endanger the clan. While individual members of the clan pursue many small plans on their own, they take an affront to one of their own extremely poorly, and little things like civilized laws aren't even going to slow them down in exacting revenge.

====================
The clan as a whole is Chaotic Neutral. They place a strong reliance on individual strength, and the bonds of blood ties. They have little respect for laws and traditions not part of their clans, and do not follow leaders they do not respect personally. They are pragmatic survivalists, willing to do whatever it takes to advance their goals, but consider unneccessary cruelty a sign of the taint in their blood and avoid it when possible. At the same time, they count a strong streak of personal and clan honor to be one of their greatest defenses against their Demon Blood...although they don't much care for what outsider's definitions of 'honor' are. They seek gold, power, magic, glory, and deep faith in the way of Gorum, and are ready to take such things by force as readily as they are paid by others to do so. Their numbers are their biggest problem, living as they do in a land of full orcs, and growing their clans so they may accomplish their dreams to tear down all who stand in the way of their destiny is one of the most important duties of the clans.

FFaF exists as a force to centralize and make easily understood the duties of the clans. Dreadhand is the heart of the clan, the raw muscle and vitality that drives it forwards, eager to die for the glory of clan, race and god. Hornshiver supports and guides with cleverness and forward-thinking, employing the human versatility and flexibility of their bloodline. Burning Dreams guards and wards them all, fans the flames of their faith, and insures all are equal under Our Lord in Iron.

===Bob Drouin

Rokgos the Demonheart was the founder of the clans. A half-orc wild-blooded sorceror, he possessed both the sage bloodline and the orc bloodline, and used the understanding gained from such to build up a strong following among half-orcs. A great believer in the soul of Gorum being a half-orc, as well as the racial destiny and superiority of his kind, he had many children in a long and violent career of proving his power to his orcish kin without hesitation.

All that changed after a raid by wild demons out of the Worldwound, where he was captured and subjected to arcane tortures of horrific nature by demons looking to find new weapons to use against both humans and orcs. When he came back to his kin, his former bloodlines were gone, his hands were black demonic claws, his eyes glowed, and rage and madness were consuming his soul.

Before madness completely took him, he brought his children together with a vision, to join their strengths together, to never let the eternal feuding of the orcs, humans and other races divide and weaken them, and led them in a great ritual to bind their bloodlines and loyalty to one another, to trust and have faith in their kin above all else.

His reason rapidly starting to fail him, he put his destiny in the hand of his children, and they used his power to rage among the orc clans, demonstrating their power and name, drawing other half-orcs to them, until the name of Demonheart was whispered in fear amongst the orcs, and the future of the clan was secured. Then, they built the tower of Burning Dreams for him, and Rokgos the Demonheart raged against the forces that had doomed him, until he was heard from no more. Whether he lives on at the heart of the tower, consumed by madness, or disappeared into the lands of the Worldwound in killing frenzy, none but the Speaker of Burning Dreams can say.

The experiments that altered his bloodline infected all his progeny, an effect designed by the demons who inflicted it upon him. Warned of its coming, the clan has taken ruthless steps to control the infection to their soul, at the same time channelling the rage it invokes into a fiery drive to build their clan into a great power. The clans know that when their faith in Our Lord In Iron falters and their thoughts begin to burn, it is time to turn their power against those that inflicted the vileness upon them, and Burning Dreams tower calls to them as it has done for generations. Even then, they remain productive, capturing monsters from the Wounded lands for breaking, taming, and service to the clan, until the dreams of fire become too much, and end their lives in blazing, raging glory.

==Bob Drouin

I'll get a full write-up of this organization up as a service to those who liked it. Thanks for your support!

Oh, and some key things:

The organization is based on sorcerous BLOODLINES. The 'human' bloodline defaults to arcane...thus, the sage sorceror bloodline for 'human-blood'. Orc-blooded is just that for the lady sorcerors, and demon-blooded uses the Arcane Heritage rules for the berserkers, and affects both genders.

Basically, the clan is tied together by the bloodlines of their forebears. A half-orc of the clans who has children by a human gets 'human-blooded' potential. If an orc is the other half, they are orc-blooded. If they have children by another half-orc, demon-blooded is the result.

There are no full-blooded orcs OR humans in the organization, save possibly as mates. The berserkers leading orcs are basically leading outside mercenaries eager for battle and gold, in the same way the sages lead monsters they've tamed.

Clan Hornshiver is The Fear because of the prevelance of dirgesingers among the lady bards, and they are the cunning, tactical bastards of the clans, leading the others to victory, making the deadly tools that win the fights, pulling a gorgon into a fight to really turn things on its head, and so forth. The sound of the horns of the family on the other side of a fight cause chills, because whoever you are fighting just got a whole lot tougher. Like humans, they are adaptable, cunning and versatile, and the sage sorcerors have more spell selection then their fiery cousins. They are the generals, officers, and sages of the clan, providing spell support, intelligent guidance, and powerful social cunning to the mix. While derided among pure orcs, they are also feared and respected for their cunning, and are fully capable of exerting vicious control over those they lead.

Clan Dreadhand, the 'Fist', is the most numerous, and the most damned in its own way. Their demon bloodline gets stronger as they get more powerful, seeking to turn them against their kin, an anger that fuels their rage as their hands morph into killing claws. The Warlord of the clan is given absolute last say on any plans. Usually Hornshiver proposes, Burning Dreams approves, and Dreadhand says yes or no. Even the craziest orcs of Belkzen Hold have no real wish to stir up the frothing demon-bloods of Dreadhand, especially with Hornshiver's dirges welling up in support. Dreadhands may develop minor sorcerous ability, but after the fate of the progenitor of the clan, it is considered extremely dangerous to try and develop demon-blooded sorcery, and all such children are trained as berserkers.

Clan Burning Dreams, the 'Flame', watches over the soul of the clan, particularly against the influence of Rovagug, who damned their founder. The orc-blooded sorceresses are known for their fiery temper against orcs who put down their gender, making them both feared and highly desired. They specialize in straight battlefield killing magic, leaving most support spells to the Hornshiver. The men of the clan are trained as holy warriors of Gorum, usually clerics, sometimes Inquisitors, looking for sign of Rovagug's influence and corruption among their kin, and keeping the warrior spirit of the clan alive. "Burning Dreams" does not refer to their battle-magic...it refers to the dreams of fire, destruction and apocalypse that plague all members of the clans. When such dreams grow too strong, the afflicted are taken to the tower of the clan, to spend their lives wreaking vengeance against the abyssal powers of the Worldwound in a near-constrant frenzy of killing rage.
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Clan Hornshiver's use of a siege castle is quite simple...they are all over the place around Absalom. There's a level 1 dungeon set in one. The clan just set up shop in one and started expanding.

As the most human-looking of the clans, they have the easiest ability to interface with prospective employers. Yes, they use teleportation spells to move their kin around from place to place, possibly petrifying and shrinking large monsters to bring them from place to place. This practice has also resulted in some employment as monster hunsters for the wealthy who want a menagerie. Absalom was chosen as both a central location and a town with all the resources the clan could want, but living inside the city was considered a threat to the clan's purity of purpose. Taking over a siege castle and building it up into a decently sized settlement, while exerting control and safety over the surrounding area with no plans on trying to defy the entire might of the city, wasn't difficult. They aren't taxing traffic, and are generally using it simply as a base of operations and a place to recruit suitable expendables for mercenary duties.

Getting mercenaries to locations is done by the sage sorcs, using scrying with a prospective employer to set the location, and then shuttling over appropriate people, possibly shrunken or using a portable hole for larger numbers. Hornshiver prefers to command outsiders who do the dying, getting the most out of them as they do so, but are zealously protective of their kin.

Dreadhands interfaces most with orcs. Their demonic hands, strength and fury forces respect where little might be forthcoming. Dreadhand holds little respect for orcs who venerate the force that damned their founder, and gladly lead them into combat. They are perfectly happy to be employed by this or that orc cheif against other orcs. They understand the orc mindset of grab, destroy and enslave perfectly, but their almost unbreakable loyalty to their kin mitigates the effect of their bloodline. Senior berserkers who feel the call of their bloodline becoming too strong go to die in battle against the forces tainting their blood, and generally live their lives looking for glory defying the taint in their blood. It is the job of the Warlord of the clan to find that glory for his kin.

Burning Dreams interfaces with half-orcs at all levels. No less then three of the sorceresses of the clan 'feud' with one another over the Lord of Wyvernsting, which not incidentally chases away any other females and assures the clan's influence with the Lord. They recruit other half-orcs, speak of racial pride, power, and the strength of the Lord in Iron, and slowly convert the populace of Wyvernsting to the God of Strength. The Clans rely on the Brothers In Iron to keep them on the straight and true, and to insure that when the dreams become too much, they can at least die gloriously in Gorum's name. In battle, Burning Dreams specializes in fire magic and speedy destruction, although they can get a mite enthusiastic without Hornshiver around to direct them.

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Women who hold a clan bloodline always have fiery red hair. Males who hold a bloodline, and all the demon-blooded, have black fingertips that grow darker, larger and more claw-like as the influence of that bloodline grows. This is considered a sign of power among the orcs, but a sign of corruption among human races, and so Hornshiver males usually go gloved in human society.

==Bob Drouin

Let's cross the fingers and hope.

Got a killer idea for the next round based on a photo I saw online on Friday, too :0.

==Bob D.

No more comments and votes? I'm starting to get a bad feeling here. :P

==Bob Drouin