Bloody Evil Bastard
N Large animal
Init +3; Senses low-light vision, scent; Perception +5
AC 13, touch 12, flat-footed 10 (+3 Dex, +1 natural, –1 size)
hp 13 (2d8+4)
Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +0
Speed 50 ft.
Melee bite +4 (1d4+6)
Special Attack spit (+3 ranged touch)
Str 18, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 4
Base Atk +1; CMB +6; CMD 19 (23 vs. trip)
Skills Lore (mathmatics) +28, Perception +5
Spit (Ex) Once per hour, a camel can regurgitate the contents of its stomach, spitting the foul material at a single target within 10 feet. The target must make a DC 13 Fortitude save or be sickened for 1d4 rounds. The save DC is Constitution-based.
This somewhat irritated-looking, one-humped camel has been outfitted with a bridle and saddle.
Camels are large, desert-dwelling herd animals noted for their stamina and ill tempers. A typical camel stands about 6 feet at the shoulder and 7 feet at the hump. Most camels refuse to do anything useful (for humanoids at least) until you beat them with a stick and swear at them.
Camels are the greatest mathematicians on the disc and have a natural ability to perform quadratic equations. Indeed, the captive specimens in the Palace Menagerie in Ankh-Morpork are kept in a unique cage where the bars are horizontal rather than vertical, and large coloured beads are threaded on the bars for the camels to - apparently - randomly move along the bar as the fancy takes them. As - judging by the names given them by their handlers - the camels take very good care to disguise how intelligent they are, and nobody else appears to have noticed. Apart, perhaps, from Vetinari, who has apparently decreed that his camels should be imprisoned with access to cage bars that function like an abacus, or maybe a slide rule. This might be coincidence, but it would be simpler to assume they've been persuaded to do sums for the Patrician...
Common camel names include: Bloody Stupid, Evil Brother-in-law of a Jackal, Evil-Minded Son of a B*$*!, Evil-Smelling-Bugger, You Bastard, You Vicious Brute, and so on.