Illustrations by Andrew Hou, Michael Saas, and Florian Stitz. Wallpaper design by Crystal Frasier. Widescreen version here.


Goblins for All!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Because you asked for it, the following changes are coming to Pathfinder:

  1. Introducing the next in our popular Players Companion line of products: Goblins of Purity!

    Goblins are popular. But they're not popular enough! With "Goblins of Purity," we're giving you what you've been asking for—the chance to fully embrace all of the madness and mayhem that is being a goblin—but in a way that allows you to still be a hero. This book is jam-packed with all manner of fun and exciting options for goblins dedicated to fighting against the rise of evil (as most often personified by greedy adventurers, slavering dogs, and those hateful horses with their sharp, sharp hooves and soulless eyes), all while maintaining the rip-roaring fun that being an arsonist or a baby-eater brings.

    Goblins of Purity includes:

    • Two dozen goblin archetypes, including the Dog Hunter ranger, the Friendly Picklechucker rogue, and the Peaceful Beachcomber paladin

    • An extensive discussion of brand-new goblin versions of your favorite deities

    • An exciting reworking of the alignment system that allows you to play arsonists and baby-eaters while still being good-aligned

    • A brand-new 20-level base class built especially for would-be goblin heroes—the Goblin Babysitter, a class that gets extensive use out of this book's new "innocent accident charts"

  2. We're not there yet, but when we send the Pathfinder RPG Core Rulebook back for another reprint, we'll be adding goblins to the list of core player races. Now everyone can be a goblin!

  3. Starting today, goblins are now mandatory for play in the Pathfinder Society. Every group must have at least one goblin in the party. I expect some awesome stories from your games this weekend!

  4. Later this year, we'll release the Goblinomicon, a 64-page book that outlines the foes goblins confront in daily life—including true and accurate stat blocks for dogs and horses!

  5. Spoiler:

    And... if you haven't figured out already, Happy April Fools Day!

Hyrum Savage
Marketing and Organized Play Manager

More Paizo Blog.
Tags: Andrew Hou Crystal Frasier Florian Stitz Goblins Wallpapers
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Scarab Sages

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I'm sure Mikaze will be very pleased.


~laughter~ How much will this cost? I may just have to pick it up.


Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

I would actually buy this.

Shadow Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

I would actually buy this as well and goblin the hell out of my DM to let me use it ;-)

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

I've been waiting for the right time to join PFS; looks like that time... is now.

Scarab Sages

1 person marked this as a favorite.

The Goblinomicon would be freaking awesome!


Jam412 wrote:
I would actually buy this.

ME TOO! It'd be a laugh.


If you would believe it, I have had goblins as a PC race (my own recipe, of course) for years... :)

I'd love to see this officially, though!

Dark Archive

I'm confused. Is this blog PFS compatible or not? Because I'll complain either way and threaten to quit altogether.


Truthfully, I find myself drawn to the Goblinomicon.

It would be a ton of work, but absolutely hilarious to read a copy of the Core Rulebook completely rewritten from a Pro-Goblin point of view. With Dwarf, Elf, Half-Elf, Half-Orc and Human replaced by Goblin, Goblin, Goblin, Relly Big Rat, and Goblin. The gear section would be short, though.

Trade Guds: Pickles, Shiny Things, Sharp Things
Weapons: Pickles, Shiny Things, Sharp Things, Heavy Things, Burny Things.
Miscellaneous Gear: Stuff to put Shiny Things, Sharp Things, Heavy Things and Burny Things In.

Followed by a section: How to put Burny Things out before putting them in something you want to keep. Which trails off into an incoherent howling noise.

But perhaps I digress too far.


NO! Gobbinz not good...sezz right in book...

Spoiler:
Happy April Fooz!!

RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32, 2011 Top 4

Hey, look at that. New desktop wallpaper. Thanks!

Grand Lodge Contributor

Todd Morgan wrote:
I'm confused. Is this blog PFS compatible or not? Because I'll complain either way and threaten to quit altogether.

Always read the post before threatening to quit... and check the date, too.

Sovereign Court

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Having a goblin at the table is an unsaid rule in home campaigns where I'm at, and I always wondered why Pathfinder Society din't join in the goblin fun. This alone makes up for any perceived slights on PFS from controversial rules changes!

Dark Archive

Scott Young wrote:
Todd Morgan wrote:
I'm confused. Is this blog PFS compatible or not? Because I'll complain either way and threaten to quit altogether.
Always read the post before threatening to quit... and check the date, too.

Sorry, I should have added a [/snark] tag to my post...

The Exchange

Todd Morgan wrote:
I'm confused. Is this blog PFS compatible or not? Because I'll complain either way and threaten to quit altogether.

I LOL'd.

I'm excited for the new alignment system. Balanced, the way good should have always been.


:-D great work guys!!

and I want my Goblinomicon!! Maybe we should start a campaign for it - it has worked for the flumph after all


Hyrum wrote:


An exciting reworking of the alignment system that allows you to play arsonists and baby-eaters while still being good-aligned

Wait. Hold the phone.

Arson and baby-eating aren't inherently good acts? Now I don't know what to do with Flames McBabycruncher, my dwarven paladin.

Well shoot. Oh! Maybe the book will also contain guidelines for converting existing characters into their goblin counterparts? That'd be sweet!


I truly hope that this faux-blog post spawns the next "Misfit Monsters Redeemed" -

=something that started as a gag, but went on to become a real life smorgasbord of awesome

Grand Lodge

I would SO have bought that!


I thought the fake pony bestiary entries were funnier.

Dark Archive

Blog: Cute! Thanks Hyrum.

Blog at 10 AM PST: Not so much :(

Liberty's Edge

At least I got a cool wallpaper out of this!

Dark Archive

Fantastic!


I would like to preorder this now, as a player banned from playing goblins (because i did infact set fires, eat babies, kill dogs, steal things of great sentimental importance to other players and turn them into crude killing implements among other wonderful exploits) i would take no greater joy than seeing the "innocent accident charts." Also, goblin babysitter may well be the greatest class ever. I implore Paizo to actually make these hollow promises come true, and expedite them. Samurai and Ninjas are neat, but goblins are GOBLINS, and should be moved to the front of the list. Would absolutely LOVE to read the "meet the iconics" for the goblin babysitter.

The Exchange

Do you think if enough of us ask for this they will actually make it?

Dark Archive

FINALLY! I've been waiting for this book ever since I got wind of the "innocent accidents chart". I'm REALLY looking forward to the Bard archetype, the Underarm Trumpeteer.


BWAHAHAHA!

Of course, the cultural practice you are engaging in ends at noon in most English speaking countries, the US being the exception and not the rule, so...boo-hoo for blog time.


I actually want this. I knew what it was when I saw it, but I was still thinking "Damn, that would be fun!" - A perfect companion for the "We be goblins!" FRPGDay book~

Dark Archive

Jam412 wrote:
I would actually buy this.

Ditto.

Dark Archive

I'm quite fond of the string of drool in the mouth of the goblin 'midwife.' Yeah, she's just salivating at the 'miracle of birth.'

The half-orc in the back looks concerned. In my head, he's thinking, 'Hey, save some of that for me!'

Paizo Employee Creative Director

R. Doyle wrote:
Do you think if enough of us ask for this they will actually make it?

No.

At least, I HOPE "no."

:-P

Dark Archive

James Jacobs wrote:
R. Doyle wrote:
Do you think if enough of us ask for this they will actually make it?

No.

At least, I HOPE "no."

:-P

I just played MAID and Paranoia. "Goblins of Purity" would be a fresh breath of seriousness....

Dark Archive

My thoughts on the Blog time and why I am leaving Paizo.


James Jacobs wrote:
R. Doyle wrote:
Do you think if enough of us ask for this they will actually make it?

No.

At least, I HOPE "no."

:-P

But rename it, "Goblins of Glory!" Alliteration always makes everything awesomer.

Dark Archive

It's a shame this is just an April Fools joke...I'd actually buy the item as my players are bugging me to run a Goblin centered campaign. Also a shame that they're not a "core race"...

Dark Archive

2 people marked this as a favorite.

'Goblin versions of your favorite dieties' sounds neat.

I could totally see Goblin versions of Asmodeus (setting himself on fire) and Calistria (swearing vengeance on everyone laughing as she runs into the distance, being stung by her 'holy wasps') and Iomedae (riding her war-pig at the nearest windmill with a righteous cry) and Zon-Kuthon (helplessly entangled in his own chains).

Dark Archive

Set wrote:

'Goblin versions of your favorite dieties' sounds neat.

I could totally see Goblin versions of Asmodeus (setting himself on fire) and Calistria (swearing vengeance on everyone laughing as she runs into the distance, being stung by her 'holy wasps') and Iomedae (riding her war-pig at the nearest windmill with a righteous cry) and Zon-Kuthon (helplessly entangled in his own chains).

That.Would.Be.Awesome (especially if Wayne Reynalds actually drew them!)


In all seriousness, I would love to see a Goblinomicon book, or something like that. I love goblins.

Dark Archive

joela wrote:
That.Would.Be.Awesome (especially if Wayne Reynalds actually drew them!)

While I'm a huge Wayne Reynolds fan, for Goblins, I prefer not-so-serious art, like that of Hugo with his 'the Good, the Bad and the Ugly,' or N'Wah with his awesome little cardboard guys.

Not that Crystal and Andrew don't rock... :)

Goblified Iconics would rock, rock, RAWK. Cocky Goblin Valeros? Grumpy Goblin Ezren with his Big Little Picture Book of Spells? Goblin Damiel, visible only as a hand gripping a flask, buried under a pile of other alchemical gear? The eye-searing horror that would be Goblin Seoni?


Eric The Pipe wrote:
Jam412 wrote:
I would actually buy this.
ME TOO! It'd be a laugh.

besides it would confuse the heck out of the members of the group who don't visit these boards.

the perfect new monster.


How about a goblin ninja. Because what could be cooler than a ninja that stealthy murders the family dog and then sets the house on fire.


I can't believe someone's NOT making something like this. Seriously, enough people would buy it that it would be totally worth it. I mean, they obviously know enough people love goblins that this would get a rise out of people... why not take it that next step?

Also, just in general, rules for baby-eating are useful for any kind of game, goblin-centric or not.


Nope sorry Paizo folks we internet people are a whiny lot so yep someone will have to make this... I even toss in a please to the mix.

The Exchange

James Jacobs wrote:
R. Doyle wrote:
Do you think if enough of us ask for this they will actually make it?

No.

At least, I HOPE "no."

:-P

Think Geek have had to put into production stuff that they dreamt up as April Fool gags before now...


James Jacobs wrote:
R. Doyle wrote:
Do you think if enough of us ask for this they will actually make it?

No.

At least, I HOPE "no."

:-P

NO?!?!? HOW DARE YOU!!! ~snarls~ Change that to a YES or ELSE!!! ~goes off in a huff, snarling and growling as I leave~

~grins~

Dark Archive

what white wolf did a couple of times was to make a joke pdf that people could buy (that's right, buy) with joke roles or a twist to the setting, and so forth, the same should be done here


Actually, it sounded pretty interesting. I knew it was a joke, but I think Paizo has fallen victim to their own success. They made a joke product sound good enough to actually make people want it.

Sczarni

Goblins....

what's not to want?

wicked funny post, AWESOME art (especially when my players run into high level PC-classed goblins), and a great concept for a book, even if it is a joke.

Paizo Employee Creative Director

xorial wrote:
Actually, it sounded pretty interesting. I knew it was a joke, but I think Paizo has fallen victim to their own success. They made a joke product sound good enough to actually make people want it.

I actually think that's a good problem to have.

In any case... we DO have a goblin book coming at Gen Con. And I suspect it'll scratch the itch folks have to see more goblin craziness in play.

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