It's Alive! And It's in My Head!!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Words aren't supposed to float like this, bobbing in this slow, mildly nauseating way before my watering eyes. This sucks. And if you were at Norwescon this past weekend, I blame you. Con crud: it happens every time we go to a convention—and this time I didn't even go!

My office quarantine makes me but one gross cog in a large, messily predictable, sick-machine. Every 3 minutes Jason, through the wall to my left, coughs twice. Every 1 minute and 20 seconds, to my right, James "Harumpghs"—as Jacobses do. Every 25 seconds I sniff, punctuated by nose blowings after every 15, and with cycle-marking sneezes after every 30 blows. It's not pretty. I especially don't envy Chris, Judy, Rob, and Sutter outside our doors listening to this sickly symphony. Although, if anyone forgot their watches today, they can measure the time by the rising tissue tide.

Now that I've set the gross factor for your week, how does this pity party tie into Pathfinder and RPGs and everything you've come to expect from Paizo? Well, we're foolishly here at work aren't we? And never ones to let little things like our collectively decomposing bodies stop us from bringing new elements to your campaigns, please accept the following gaming grossness, along with an appropriately awesomely awful illustration from Jeff Carlisle (that unfortunately we didn't have room for in the GameMastery Guide, but I'm sure will find a home down the line). Now, back to trying to build a Skinsaw mask out of tissues and mucus...

Creeping Contamination (aka Creeping Crud or Con Crud)
Type disease, contact or inhaled; Save Fortitude DC 14
Onset 1d3 days; Frequency 1/day
Effect 1d2 Wis damage and target is fatigued. Any creature that comes within 5 feet of one infected with con crud must save or also become infected (whether or not this save is successful, the target is immune to the infected creature's con crud for 24 hours); Cure 2 consecutive saves

Illustration by Jeff Carlisle

Wes Schneider
Managing Editor

More Paizo Blog.
Tags: Animals Conventions Game Mastering Jeff Carlisle Monsters Norwescon Paizo Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Vermin

Oh no! Feel better, boys!

Dark Archive

Sorry to hear you folks got the goop up there. Hope you kick it soon!


Wes wrote:
Now, back to trying to build a Skinsaw mask out of tissues and mucus...

Mmmmmmmm ... yummy.


Wes to the rescue!


I'm having a serious feeling of deja vu. Can anyone tell me why? If it had two heads....

Silver Crusade

Wes wrote:
And if you were at Norwescon this past weekend, I blame you

now now now.... the paizo fan crowd was all very healthy and without symptoms in our PFS room. We were all very nice and we didn't even corner Josh and tell him about our characters. ;)

On a serious note, sorry you dudes got sick. We really do appreciate Paizo coming out to the con. the panels were a hit and Josh gaming at the PFS room was too.

Silver Crusade

So I guess coming up to your Gencon booth in a hazmat suit would be in pretty poor taste then.... :(


I was bringing a fogger and a can of Raid, myself.

Scarab Sages

Huh, I was at the PFS 'QA table' all day Saturday and Sunday, and I didn't catch anything! I think the Paizo staff has weaker immune systems from all their associations with devils (it makes PERFECT sense). How else can they produce such awesome without the help of Hell?

Contributor

Patient 0 wrote:
So I guess coming up to your Gencon booth in a hazmat suit would be in pretty poor taste then.... :(

I would totally appreciate that, actually. I don't even like quoting posts out of fear of the technogerms and flaking web worms it exposes me to. Bleck! :P

Silver Crusade

maybe you can make a "crimson throne" plague doctor bird mask and come as a plague doctor. Thus rocking a Pathfinder costume and protecting the delicate immune system of Wes. Be wary though, that part of CoCT was from the Wes himself. He might hold it to some pretty high standards. :)

While your at it, you can even put something scented in the mask to totally authenticate your mask to crimson throne standards, all the while sparing yourself the malodorous assault Gencon can be. ;)

Contributor

samerandomhero wrote:
Be wary though, that part of CoCT was from the Wes himself. He might hold it to some pretty high standards. :)

Yeah, and research for that volume totally didn't have anything to do with touching off my ever deepening spiral of hypochondria. :P


Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
F. Wesley Schneider wrote:
samerandomhero wrote:
Be wary though, that part of CoCT was from the Wes himself. He might hold it to some pretty high standards. :)
Yeah, and research for that volume totally didn't have anything to do with touching off my ever deepening spiral of hypochondria. :P

<nods>

I don't get too nervous about it, being blessed with a very resilient immune system* and thoroughly immunized (being in the military; yes, even against anthrax and smallpox), but reading about historical plagues (or modern outbreaks/epidemics/pandemics, the number of people who are against and refuse mandatory vaccinations, drug-resistant strains, etc.) is pretty scary. Even with the all of the planning and protections in place, it really wouldn't take a whole lot for an event on the order of the Black Plague of 1348-1350 (or the Flu Pandemics of 1918, 1957, and 1968 for that matter; let's not even get into the recent mumps outbreaks).

*- I've been sick only twice over the past four years, but only to the extent of 2-3 days of runny nose/congestion and some mild/occasional sneezing/coughing (as in once or twice an hour, if that), with another 1-2 days for my lungs to finish clearing out. Used to piss off my sister growing up how I'd get over being sick in a few days when she'd take a week or more. There was one other instance of food poisoning from underdone chicken, but that only lasted about a day before I "got it out of my system." ;-/

Silver Crusade

It's been four days since I got back from my first con and I'm still coughing up new and exciting things.

Should have worn that hazmat suit after all...

Contributor, RPG Superstar 2009, RPG Superstar Judgernaut

I'm still wrestling with the same ConCrud...all while valiantly slogging my way through the last remaining bits of my Serpent's Skull turnover. At least last night was moderately productive, though. I'm nearly finished labeling all the maps and should complete that tonight. Then, I'm a word-duel to the finish this weekend. And I promise I shall slay this beast (both the writing assignment and the GenCon disease ravaging my body).

--Neil

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