[PFS] Fallen Fortress of Harsk! (Inactive)

Game Master Andrew Harasty

Heavy crossbow: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 231d10 ⇒ 6

Crit confirm???: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (9) + 4 = 131d10 ⇒ 7

As the bolt buries itself into the oversized arachnid, Snooty Harsk picks up the song.

"I'm laughing at the spider, so creepy above,
"There's tea in my belly and I'm ready to hunt!"

Oblivious to the songs of his allies, Harsk continues his lullaby.

♫I know the Harskies cause you trouble
They cause trouble everywhere
But when you die and go to Heaven
You'll find no Harskies there♫

With the final word, he fires his crossbow, his aim thrown off by enthusiasm of his song.

Heavy crossbow: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 4 = 10
Damage: 1d10 ⇒ 6

He mutters to himself as he struggles to reload the filthy machine.

Now that his crossbow is ready Harsk fires.
to hit: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (11) + 3 = 14 to hurt: 1d10 ⇒ 6

"Ewwww!" says Li'l Harsk as he struggles to free himself from the website. "This is icky!"
Strength: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8

vonHarsk misses, reloads and misses again. Good for consistency.

Snooty Harsk hits though looking good, not exceptional

Vagrant Harsk misses, making sure vonHarsk does not feel left out.

DR Harsk hits, but the spider is still up.

Lil' Harsk struggles with out any use

Seeing the entangled dwarf still there, the spider climbs down to bite Lil Harsk

Atk, Spider Bite: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6
The spider also wants make sure vonHarsk is not left out.

Everyone is back up.

Fortress Level 1 (0:00)

Group conditions:
Round 1

Snooty Harsk - dmg;
Lil’ Hasrk - dmg; entangled in web
Harsk McHarsk von Harskenshtein - dmg; ;
Sexy Harsk - dmg; ;
Vagrant Harsk - dmg
Texas Ranger Harsk - dmg

Spider --- 12 dmg

Sexy Harsk fires!

Spider bolt!: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (4) + 4 = 8 for 1d10 ⇒ 3 damage!

♫So go to sleep you weary spider
Let the Harskies drift slowly by
Listen to the crossbows hummin'
That's a Harsky's lullaby♫

"Haw haw!" *hack* *cough* Harsk moves over to get a better shot, then fires again as he finishes his lullaby, confident his crossbow will put the spider to sleep, even if the song doesn't.

Crossbow, into melee: 1d20 + 4 - 4 ⇒ (18) + 4 - 4 = 18
Damage: 1d10 ⇒ 7

"By the Forgefather's utilikilt, lad! What manner of Harsk would let himself be eaten by a spider?"

Snooty Harsk drops his crossbow and crosses the room, drawing his battleaxe as he stomps across the floor. Scratcher hides under his beard.

Snooty brings the battleaxe down onto the spider, singing,

"I'm swinging for its brain,
"Just swinging for its brain,
"Although with such vermin,
"That's a small place to aim..."

Battleaxe: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 221d8 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8

Seeing Harsk running towards him with the axe, Li'l Harsk closes his big eyes and attempts to break free from the spider's webbing so to be elsewhere when the axe falls.
Strength: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (11) + 2 = 13

If its still alive, Harsk takes another shot at it.

To hit: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12 To Hurt: 1d10 ⇒ 3

Sexy's Bolt goes wide, but Vagrant Harsk hits, the spider falls from the wall and Snooty Harsk chops the spider in well preformed interpretative dance.

After a few more seconds Lil Harsk breaks free.

Looking around, A small cocoon hangs in the webs, holding the remains of an unfortunate dog that fell into the spider’s clutches. The desiccated carcass is still wearing its leather collar, which is studded with lapis lazuli stones and has a silver tag reading “Kita.”

Venturing into the tower’s west wing, you find it mostly choked with rubble, but a door in the eastern wall is still accessible. The door leads to a stone spiral staircase that runs through the center of the tower. Unfortunately, the stairway is also blocked with fallen rubble. To explore the tower’s upper levels, you will have to go back outside and attempt to climb the tower’s exterior walls at least to the next floor.

The collapsed part of the tower require a base DC 15 to climb

The staircase used to lead down to underground tunnels, but this exit collapsed from the aftershocks, sealing the tunnels.

"Hee hee hee, itsy-bitsy spider goes splat!" Vagrant Harsk cackles a bit as he reloads his crossbow.

Li'l Harsk points out the collar, "Seems that this poor creature done belong to summon."

With the stairway blocked, the little dwarf attempts to climb.
Climb: 1d20 + 2 - 1 ⇒ (11) + 2 - 1 = 12

But, the little guy just can't seem to get his footing.
"Knew I shoulda brot rope." he mutters.

Li'l Harsk clambers a bit but does not seem to get any significant distance up.

Sexy Harsk tries to climb up sexily. Climb with Style: 1d20 + 2 - 1 ⇒ (17) + 2 - 1 = 18

"Hmph! ♫The itsy-bitsy Harsky, climbs up the tower stout...♫"

Vagrant Harsk also attempts the ascent.
Climb without style: 1d20 + 2 - 1 ⇒ (20) + 2 - 1 = 21

With the first two Harsks making it up, it is just a matter of time with their aid to get the rest up

Welcome to the Second Floor:

The Chorus of Goblins, Kobolds, and assorted fey comes dancing out!

♫ One Door makes you wetter
And one door makes you fall
And one door you don't see
dosen't go anywhere at all"

You make your up to the second floor from the outside end up in the crumbling remains of a room that now serves as an open landing for doors in the northwest and southwest

3 or 5

Harks picks the closest door and goes into it.
Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (8) + 6 = 14 +2 for stonework.

Li'l Harsk follows the ranger, keeping his wide eyes widely peeled.
Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (6) + 6 = 12

"Willickers! What do ya think we'll find 'n here, Mistah Harsk?"

Entering the room.

Judging from the shelves lining the walls, this darkened room might once have been a storeroom, though its contents have long since succumbed to the passage of time. A crack in the northern wall has apparently let in some rainwater, which has collected in a large puddle on the floor.

From the pool near the crack you hear the crackle of sparks and a small lizard, with a top hat and cane singing near the pool.

♫ Give them the old spark and shocking
Spark and shocking them
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give 'em the old skitter scatter
nip and bite at them
How can they see with sparkles in their eyes?

All but Snooty and Vagrant Harsk are razzle dazzled.

Fortress Level 1 (0:00)

Group conditions:
Round 1

Snooty Harsk - dmg;
Vagrant Harsk - dmg

Shocker Lizard -- dmg

Lil’ Hasrk - dmg;
Harsk McHarsk von Harskenshtein - dmg; ;
Sexy Harsk - dmg; ;
Texas Ranger Harsk - dmg

"Ach, blast and nonsense! We ain't need no high-falutin' lizard and no fancy-pants dancin'!" Harsk walks up into the doorway, raising his crossbow and firing as he begins to sing.

♫Come all you old time lizards
And listen to my song
Please do not grow weary
I'll not detain you long

Concerning some wild Harskies
Who their skills to hone
Spent the summer pleasant
On the trail of the Harsk stone♫

Thwap!: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (8) + 4 = 12
Ow!: 1d10 ⇒ 2

(GM, your post seemed to assume that everyone had already moved in, so I moved my token into the room - if that's incorrect, then Snooty Harsk will just double-move into the room and sing, and he'll fire next round.)

Snooty Harsk sniffs at Vagrant Harsk's rough tune. "My dear fellow, you'll never make a name for yourself with such a cacophony. You would do better to rebut the sparkling, dancing lizard's braggadocio with something more genteel, such as the following melody."

Snooty sings softly and off-key as he loads his crossbow, aims, and fires at the lizard.

"The name on everybody's lips
Is gonna be ... Harskie
The laddie hangin' up the pelts
Is gonna be ... Harskie

I'm gonna be a Pathfinder
Somebody everybody wants to kill
They're gonna watch out for my eyes
My hair, my teeth, my beard, my teakettle..."

Heavy crossbow: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 91d10 ⇒ 1

Scratcher sticks his tail out from under Snooty Harsk's beard and up his nose in annoyance at the dwarf's inability to carry a tune. As a result, Snooty's shot goes wild, hitting the wall about eight feet over the shocker lizard's head before falling to the ground.

The razzle dazzle deflects the bolts as the bounce of the walls (in rhythm ) and plop in the pools

The shocker lizard skitters forth and dazzles Li' Harsk with shocking burst

Shocking Damage - Non-Lethal: 1d8 ⇒ 3 Reflex DC 12 for half

Time for the All Harsk Chorus

Fortress Level 1 (0:00)

Group conditions:
Round 1

Snooty Harsk - dmg;
Vagrant Harsk - dmg
Lil’ Hasrk - 3(1) NL dmg;
Harsk McHarsk von Harskenshtein - dmg; ;
Sexy Harsk - dmg; ;
Texas Ranger Harsk - dmg

Shocker Lizard -- dmg

"Genteel? Haw! That and five copper'll getcha a cup o' tea!"

Harsk continues his song as he drops his crossbow, steps up drawing his axe, and swings.

♫Found myself in Absalom
In spring 4719
When a well known famous Harsky
Come walking up to me

Said, "How do you do, young fellow
Well, how would you like to go
And spend the summer pleasant
On the trail of the Harsk stone?♫

Whack!: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 3 = 6
Slash!: 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4

Reflex: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23

"Ouchees!" Li'l Harsk cries out. A tear drips down from his wide-eyes as his body absorbs the electrical charge. He drops his crossbow from his still stingy hand. He then reaches for his axe and brings it down towards the lizard's head!

Did the axe make it?: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (16) + 3 = 19
Did the lizard take it?: 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

Drat! Harsk.. is 5' shy of being able to move into a flank without drawing an attack of opportunity.

Snooty Harsk sighs in exasperation. "I should load you in my crossbow and shoot you at this 'lectrical lizard, you unfortunate feline!"

Snooty Harsk drops his crossbow as well, moving up to join Li'l Harsk and Vagrant Harsk in their attempts to chop the lizard into bite-sized pieces. Snooty loops around to come at the shocker lizard from the west with his battleaxe, leaving room for other Harsks to attack more directly.

"Come on lads,
D'you want to be here all night?
You have my axe!
I'm going to slash this beast
We can have a lizard feast
You have my axe!
Get it done
I know a comfy spot
Where the stone is cold
But the tea is hot
It's just an empty hall
In the Fortress Fall(en)
You have my axe!"

The Ol' Battleaxe: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 151d8 + 2 ⇒ (8) + 2 = 10

Sexy Harsk reloads and fires his crossbow at the irksome unsexy beast.
Crossbow, melee: 1d20 + 4 - 4 ⇒ (18) + 4 - 4 = 18 for 1d10 ⇒ 7 damage!

Vargrant Harsk misses, but Li'l and Snooty hack at sucessfully, and Sexy turns the sparkle lizard in to a sishkabob . Tasty and spicy!

With a brief multi-colored flash the combat ends.

All that is left is the quiet drip of the leaking wall.

Harsk keeps singing as he collects his crossbow from where he dropped it.

♫Well, our exploration took us there
But the lizard would not play
‘You all danced and sang too much
You are all in debt to me’

But the Harskies never had heard
Such a thing as a shocking law
So we left that lizards’s bones to bleach
On the trail of the Harsk stone♫

"Hah, that were a shock ta him, and no mistake, eh Harsk? Har har *hack* *cough*"

Harsk moves position and fires at the creature.

Hvy Crossbow
to hit: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20 to hurt: 1d10 ⇒ 7

"I gotsta shoot it! I gotsta shoot it!" cries Li'l Harsk jumping up and down. "This might be an occasion for tea!"

Some shrouded figure sings

♫ Once there was a Shaman
Was the Shaman, you?
And she fell in love
Was it hard to do?
Well, it was very easy
Anyone could see that the Harsks were charming

Someday my Harsks will come
Someday we'll meet again
And away to his Fortress we'll go
To be fighting forever I know
Someday when fortune is here
We'll find our love anew
And the crocs will chomp and the axes will swinging
Someday when my dreams come true

Sneaky roll: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (3) + 0 = 3

There is a door what do you do?

"Pardon me, old thing, but I believe that contraption is mine. No? Oh, but of course, you are correct, that one over there is my own, you are entirely correct. Terribly sorry for any bother."

Snooty Harsk slings his axe over his shoulder and (after a bit of a mix-up, easily sorted) picks up his dropped crossbow and loads it. Pointing at the door, he suggests the group move on.

"Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Through the door we should go
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho

We hunt hunt hunt hunt hunt hunt hunt
In a keep the whole day through
To hunt hunt hunt hunt hunt hunt hunt
Is what we like to do..."

Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (2) + 6 = 8
(+8 to notice unusual stonework)

Snooty Harsk examines the door for traps, then (assuming he sees none) steps forward and opens the door, waving his comrades forward. "After you, my fine fellows."

Opening the door reveals an armory of sorts. Racks for weapons line the walls of this chamber; above the racks hang various shields, pieces of armor, weapons, and standards on display. Most of the racks are empty, but a few weapons remain in place. A horrible stench fills the room as well, akin to the smell of rotten eggs mixed with the reek of an open sewer.

The chorus of goblins, koblods, and assorted fey come out in junggle attire.

"Stop Harksies!
What's that smell?
Everyone knows what stink trogs make!"

First time you step next to a Trog, you need to make a DC 11 Fort Save or be sickened for 1 minute

While Li'l Harsk joins the chorus in the jazz hands dancing, everyone else may act before the Troglodytes.

Fortress Level 1 (0:00)

Group conditions:
Round 1

Snooty Harsk - dmg;
Harsk McHarsk von Harskenshtein - dmg; ;
Sexy Harsk - dmg; ;
Vagrant Harsk - dmg
Texas Ranger Harsk - dmg

Troglodyte Guard, Red --
Troglodyte Guard, Blue --

Lil’ Hasrk - dmg;

Sexy Harsk saunters up and nods. "Aye, those aren't Harsks. Kill everything that's not a Harsk, boys!" He reloads his crossbow.

Snooty Harsk wrinkles his nose. "Great ghosts of our noble ancestors! What is that vomitous stench?"

Snooty Harsk fires his crossbow through the doorway, aiming (loosely) at the blue troglodyte.

Heavy Crossbow: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (9) + 4 = 131d10 ⇒ 4

Having picked up his crossbow while Harsk searched the door, Li'l Harsk continues his celebratory outlook, until the smell strikes his nose.

He loads his crossbow and shoots in the direction of the stink.
Ranged (Heavy Crossbow): 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 4 = 7
Damage (P): 1d10 ⇒ 9

"Oof, that's a right stench and no mistake, eh? Like a Harsk what's been down on his luck in the midden pit! Haw Haw!"

Harsk begins to sing as he moves to the front, leveling his crossbow and firing at the reddish creature.

♫Come all of you Harskies all over this land,
I'll teach you the law of the Ranger's Command:
To hold a crossbow, and never to run
As long as there's bolts in your heavy guns.

I met a foul trog whose name I don't know;
I asked her to the fresh air outside would she go;
She said she'd not go, to the sunny outside,
And drink that sweet fresh air for it was too bright.♫

Thwang!: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9
Ouch!: 1d10 ⇒ 7

Harskenschtein chuckles. "Looks like I go'a go up close."

He then runs forward, drawing his axe on the way.

Harsk runs into the room, crossbow at the ready. He is brought up short by the smell. "Whatever you do, do not light a torch. It would be explosive."

Double move

The dazzling jazz hands distract the bolt shooting Harks and they miss the small smelly dragon lizard things.

They then throw their javelins at vonHarsk

Atk, Troglodyte Javelin: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (12) + 2 = 14
Dmg, Troglodyte Javelin: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0

Atk, Troglodyte Javelin: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22
Dmg, Troglodyte Javelin: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2

With one hitting the Harsk. They draw their clubs and wait for you you come closer. Feeling safe from your ranged barrage.

Everyone is back up

First time you step next to a Trog, you need to make a DC 11 Fort Save or be sickened for 1 minute

Fortress Level 1 (0:00)

Group conditions:
Round 1

Snooty Harsk - dmg;
Harsk McHarsk von Harskenshtein - 2 dmg; ;
Sexy Harsk - dmg; ;
Vagrant Harsk - dmg
Texas Ranger Harsk - dmg
Lil’ Hasrk - dmg;

Troglodyte Guard, Red --
Troglodyte Guard, Blue --

Sexy Harsk trundles closer, looking attractive and deadly. He fires at the blue trog! Cross Bow!: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (13) + 4 = 17 for 1d10 ⇒ 7 damage!

"A torch? That would be redundant, my good fellow! We all have HARSKVISIONTM!"

Not eager for his clothes, beard, and cat to be further befouled by the miasma emanating from the troglodytes, Snooty loads his crossbow and fires again at the blue trog.

Heavy Crossbow: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 231d10 ⇒ 9

Crit confirm?: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 111d10 ⇒ 9

Sorry for the lack of singing - busy couple of days at work.

"Gosh! What for me!" cries Li'l Harsk as he sees his fellow Harsk head for the door. The smaller dwarf rushes by them, squeezing through the door and then bringing his crossbow to bear.

Double move into the room

♫We started for the while the sun was in the sky
And the defenses of the other room seemed to just fall by;
When the shocker danced for us it was very little fight;
He should have stuck to dancing, or given thought to flight.

The stinkers rose up ahead, their stench near had us floored,
Said: Come all of you Harskies and fight for this here hoard,
Come all of you Harskies, and don't you ever run
As long as there's bolts in your heavy guns♫

Harsk continues his song as he moves in and reloads his grimy crossbow with an equally dirty bolt.

With good shooting, Snooty and Sexy Harks tag the blue trog and it falls over bleeding.

Li'l and Vargant move in.

Bold can still act

First time you step next to a Trog, you need to make a DC 11 Fort Save or be sickened for 1 minute

Fortress Level 1 (0:00)

Group conditions:
Round 1

Snooty Harsk - dmg;
Harsk McHarsk von Harskenshtein - 2 dmg; ;
Sexy Harsk - dmg; ;
Vagrant Harsk - dmg
Texas Ranger Harsk - dmg
Lil’ Hasrk - dmg;

Troglodyte Guard, Red --
Troglodyte Guard, Blue -- DEAD

Harskenschtein steps closer to the Troglodyte, swinging his axe.
Fortitude: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6
Do I still get an attack if I'm sickened?
I have a question to axe: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21, 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4

Sickened is just -2 on d20 rolls

Even with the uneasy feeling, McHarsk hits the troglodyte, but does not take it down.

Fire at red again.

Hvy Crossbow
to hit: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (13) + 3 = 16 to hurt: 1d10 ⇒ 10

Dwarven Ranger lets loose the bolt and it impales the last Trgolodyte. It falls in a stinky thud

Most of the few remaining arms in the room have rusted away, making them useless in combat. However, the following valuable items can still be found: a masterwork silver dagger, a masterwork light steel shield emblazoned with a leaping dolphin, and a banner depicting a bird made of living flame.

The door in the eastern wall leads to the tower’s central staircase. Although the lower portion of the staircase has collapsed, cutting off access to the ground floor, the staircase is whole on this floor and above and can be used to access the rest of the tower’s upper levels.