FRAKKIN Cats!!!!

I am SOOOO sick and tired of everyone's fascination with their wittle pussycat!!! If you fall into this category...

- your cat is not some master prowler/predator..it's a fat lazy critter who has figured out that you will feed it..

- your cat is not that funny

- you yourself are not somehow like your cat...

and my last piece of advice is to all the fellas out there...if you meet a gal, and she's awesome...fantastic..interesting...cool...but has MORE than ONE cat ?

I gotta agree...from experience.

I gotta agree...from experience.

Amen brother, Amen!!!

So . . . a cat beat you up?
Or was it half a dozen of them, tracking you down, and tearing off a leg?

I love my cats but I hold no illusions about them. They are best described as furry meatloaf, they don't do anything except sleep, eat, run under peopels feet and puke on the carpet. They do cuddle and purr some of the time they're are awake though. Cats are still better than most dogs.

So I can haz cheezburger is not your favorite web site? :P

I love my cats but I hold no illusions about them. They are best described as furry meatloaf, they don't do anything except sleep, eat, run under peopels feet and puke on the carpet. They do cuddle and purr some of the time they're are awake though.

Ok, some sense here...someone who is aware of their surroundings and reality in general...

Cats are still better than most dogs.

Yo..wha...huh?

Dude, come on...we have cats...one is a waste of beautiful white fur...the other, absolutely adorable...and I totally dig her (a runt himilyan missing one eye, weighs about five pounds total)...but it is quantifiably PROVABLE that the ONLY time she comes and gives me *any* attention at all is when her food dispenser is empty..

Now, on the OTHER hand...my english bully named Atlas is THE best dog/friend/companion you could EVER have....fun, funny looking, goofy, loyal...and downright cute...who could ask for more (unless you're looking for that warm female body to sleep with)....

Before you reply...THINK about what I just said :)

So I can haz cheezburger is not your favorite web site? :P

Oh, it's hillarious...as was Hitler's mustache !!! :)

I interpreted the real problem to be, "Woman who has multiple cats." In my experience, a one cat woman is fine. A woman with one cat and various and sundry other pets in addition is fine. But something magical and crazy either happens, or is indicated, once a woman steps over that one cat threshold and has multiple felines. And that something will be worse to a man, somewhere, somehow, sometime, than a thousand cats attacking him while being tied down. I have spoken.

My cats, lazy as they are, do catch mice (without claws even). Which makes me happy. And because we have the cats in the house, the sewer rats keep themselves to the front yard (which is more than my neighbor can say) (the dog kills any rats that venture into the backyard) which makes me even happier.

Still... I have been sorely tempted to buy the t-shirt I see advertised in KQ, "it's always darkest just before you step on the cat."

"it's always darkest just before you step on the cat."

Gotta tell this story...

Ex-wife and I are discussing finances in kitchen...I get up to answer phone...come back, cat is in my hard, wooden kitchen chair.

I shoosh it off.

I sit down.

I realize the chair is 100x more comfortable then it ever was before!!!

..

..
.
.....
..

*gurgle,garg..meo...gasp*

Yepp, the DAMNEDABLE thing jumped RIGHT back up betwixt being shooshed off and my rotund arse hitting the seat!!!

Atlas is ENTIRELY too gravity dependant to EVER try something like that...let alone the fact that HE knows where his place is, and where MY place is...

And to this day...the damned cat will STILL leap up to be sat on...even after my 350lb+ buttsteak had it's way with him...not a bright, scheming, prowler in my book...Nope...never will be, nor could I ever look at a cat with respect again :)

And one other simple, little thing...

Dogs are trainable to go outside...

Not fill a short plastic box full of fesces and urine with an ammonia content enough to make the entire choir from "We are the World" to die in one fell swoop...

Yeah, cats really kinda suck...unless they are content with being strapped to your feet and keepin yer tootsies warm on the way to the mailbox...

In a similar vein, many people need to be told, "Your lap dog is NOT adorable. It's a yappy, obnoxious little rodent, best off used as weasel food."

Also, when people's kids are shrieking, screaming, and otherwise wreaking havoc in an otherwise quiet restaurant, why do those people always smile at you as if to say, "isn't my child just so darling!"

In a similar vein, many people need to be told, "Your lap dog is NOT adorable. It's a yappy, obnoxious little rodent, best off used as weasel food."

Also, when people's kids are shrieking, screaming, and otherwise wreaking havoc in an otherwise quiet restaurant, why do those people always smile at you as if to say, "isn't my child just so darling!"

My 75 lb english bully counts himself as a lapdog...and i love it :)

And yes, people should learn to GET UP AND LEAVE if their yardapes are annoying other ADULTS...WHO PAID to be/eat/whatever there...

When my toddler acts up, we get up and leave, not to return until she is calm or it is decided to best go home.

My cats make excellent accordions. Seriously. Try it yourself. Just take your cat's front legs in one hand, rear legs in the other, and proceed to squeeze. It may take a few tries to get the pitch right, but you'll see...ten tons of awesome.

And one other simple, little thing...

Dogs are trainable to go outside...

Actually my cats are trained to go outside. They meow to go out and literally knock to come back in.

My cats make excellent accordions. Seriously. Try it yourself. Just take your cat's front legs in one hand, rear legs in the other, and proceed to squeeze. It may take a few tries to get the pitch right, but you'll see...ten tons of awesome.

The pitch to which you refer would be your own screaming as your cats' claws/teeth/pure vitriolic wrath go straight to your most delicate nerve endings, correct? Cause that's generally my experience.

But I do love my cat more than anything, so go figure.

God help us...we've got 6. Too many for our apartment but some are rescues.

I like dogs and cats both. Favorite dog: boxer. Favorite cat: the one that tries to crawl on to the keyboard as I try to type how much I like him. Damn cat.

if you meet a gal, and she's awesome... fantastic... interesting... cool... but has MORE than ONE cat ?

** spoiler omitted **

Two cats isn't an automatic sign of craziness in a girl. Fairly good indicator, but not an automatic sign.

Three or more, though...

I am SOOOO sick and tired of everyone's fascination with their wittle pussycat!!! If you fall into this category...

- your cat is not some master prowler/predator..it's a fat lazy critter who has figured out that you will feed it..

- your cat is not that funny

- you yourself are not somehow like your cat...

and my last piece of advice is to all the fellas out there...if you meet a gal, and she's awesome...fantastic..interesting...cool...but has MORE than ONE cat ?

** spoiler omitted **

*Whips Flynnster with cat toy*

flynnster wrote:

And one other simple, little thing...

Dogs are trainable to go outside...

Actually my cats are trained to go outside. They meow to go out and literally knock to come back in.

You, sir, have a rare and awesome group of cats.

flynnster wrote:

And one other simple, little thing...

Dogs are trainable to go outside...

Actually my cats are trained to go outside. They meow to go out and literally knock to come back in.

Mine will usually do that as well. Though they're not as fond of going out in the middle of winter and the litter box still sees plenty of use. I can't imagine trying to pen a cat constantly indoors and I wonder if that is not the source of a lot of 'cat problems.'

flynnster wrote:

I am SOOOO sick and tired of everyone's fascination with their wittle pussycat!!! If you fall into this category...

- your cat is not some master prowler/predator..it's a fat lazy critter who has figured out that you will feed it..

- your cat is not that funny

- you yourself are not somehow like your cat...

and my last piece of advice is to all the fellas out there...if you meet a gal, and she's awesome...fantastic..interesting...cool...but has MORE than ONE cat ?

** spoiler omitted **

*Whips Flynnster with cat toy*

I have a kitten, Named Atruma Fortis, a 'teenager' cat (very lazy)named Radagast, an old cat, named Alsea (that's where we found her), and four outdoor cats. Each one has their own distinct personality, and most of them are very friendly. One of them, a tortoiseshell named Squash, is vindictive and spiteful. She hates our dog.
** spoiler omitted **
Each of these cats is are 'master prowlers' (except Radagast and the...

Sorry...just vomitted all over your shoe....

CO2 semi-auto pellet gun with a laser scope. I love that one.

Whereas that sounds like a completely *delicious* alternative...I do prefer to leave the domesticated (and otherwise) animals alone and take

Wish my Basset Hound hadn't died 3 Christmases ago. She was a fine friend and an awesome pet.

I feel your pain. Atlas is a son to me.

Perhaps it's time for a pup?

You, dear poster...are the exact type of person I was posting about.

Get a dog.

My cats make excellent accordions. Seriously. Try it yourself. Just take your cat's front legs in one hand, rear legs in the other, and proceed to squeeze. It may take a few tries to get the pitch right, but you'll see...ten tons of awesome.

Whereas I do not condone violence upon animals...

BBWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!

ROTFL
LMAO
PIP

I love Cats.......!!!!

its this simple people.....cats are independant and dogs are loyal. i myself like them both but i gotta admit i luv my dogs a bit more lol

Dogs and cats are both OK... but are there any ferret people on the boards?

Dogs and cats are both OK... but are there any ferret people on the boards?

Ferretfolk are not OGC.

I have four cats...

... 2 Siamese, 1 Burmese and 1 Hymalaian. They all cuddle up to me when I get home and watch TV. Sometimes, they take turns; Sometimes they come all at once. They all come when called by name. They all purr alot. They don't go outside. And although the Hymalaian sheds off a hell of alot of hairs, taking care of them is not all that hard. The house would feel quite empty without'em. I like cats. I like to pet them. I enjoy having them around. But I don't consider myself a cat freak.

I take excellent care of them and they don't bother the neighbors in any way or form... And THAT's what I think is important when getting any kind of pets pets, be it cat, dog or Iguanas.

Ultradan

my cat is a cold blooded huntress even at 12...

few years ago, she eradicated a rat family in 5 day...4 rats on my doorstep in 5 days...

THAT is a cold-blooded huntress in my book...

now, the new cat my ex got for one of my kids...that cat is dumb...her name is Rita, it should be RitaRD, she's dumb as a box of Napalm sitting on the heater...It was funny watching her launch off the ex's head while she was in crazy mode tho.

My experience is that people tend to bring a cat home, toss it outside with a plate of food to draw it back to the house, and let it do whatever it would like to do for the day before bringing it back into their house. Usually the "whatever it would like to do" consists of s!*%ting in my flowerbeds, killing/maiming birds in my yard, and generally spreading a scent of ammonia around my yard that disgusts me.
I have figured out how to stop these problems.....
Raccoon trap baited with a can of tuna, followed by a trip to the animal shelter for untagged and uncollared cats (90% of them).
CO2 semi-auto pellet gun with a laser scope. I love that one.
I've dug my hand into cat-s!*% too many times in my flower gardens to have any compassion for the damn creatures. If they made glue traps big enough, I'd buy them. Damn cats.

QFT. We have one cat (100% indoor), but our neighbors had two or three that they "kept" and let roam all over the neighborhood. They continually used first my flowerbed, then my children's sandbox (if we forgot to cover it just one night, it was ruined), and finally my yard as a whole (yep, no attempt to bury it or anything) as their personal litterboxes. I was on the verge of taking matters into my own hands, when they ALL just disappeared, as did the outdoor cats of several other folks on the street. It was a mystery for a few weeks, until one day we noticed the very large falcon that has taken up living in our area fly by ... somehow, I just can't bring myself to feel sorry for my neighbors.

Wow...lot's of very vehement cat haters out there. Too bad.

I'm happy to say that our Australian Shepherd was successfully given away last year and we are now dog free and loving it.

To each their own, I say. My cat poops in your yard. Your dog digs a hole under my fence. Does that make us even?

I love both cats and dogs. Both of them have their ups and downs. Cats and their independent nature can get on your nerves, but dogs can be much more destructive. I hate it when a stray dog knocks over my garbage can or lays landmines all over my yard for me step in.

I really would like to get A cat. However, my property thrives with geckos, Texas spiny lizards, and Carolina anoles. And I know what would happen to my little friends if I got a cat.
@ Shadowcat - Wasn't that a line in "The Farmers and the Cowboys should be Friends"? (Or was it called "Territory Folk"?)

I really would like to get A cat. However, my property thrives with geckos, Texas spiny lizards, and Carolina anoles. And I know what would happen to my little friends if I got a cat.

Yep. It wouldn't be pretty. Cats love to torture and kill about anything they can find. I have about 10 outside cats and you would be amazed how many times I wake up in the morning to find feathers or half eaten squirrels on my back patio. Yuck!

I'm happy to say that our Australian Shepherd was successfully given away last year and we are now dog free and loving it.

Wow, you adopt a pet into your home, and after making a well informed and thought filled decision, decide to give the dog away ?

Sad.

- your cat is not some master prowler/predator..it's a fat lazy critter who has figured out that you will feed it..

One of my cats is a ruthless killer - a slayer of all small creatures: rats, gophers, birds, lizards, whatever he can catch.

I really would like to get A cat. However, my property thrives with geckos, Texas spiny lizards, and Carolina anoles. And I know what would happen to my little friends if I got a cat.

My backyard used to thrive with Western Fence Lizards...

my cat is a cold blooded huntress even at 12...

few years ago, she eradicated a rat family in 5 day...4 rats on my doorstep in 5 days...

THAT is a cold-blooded huntress in my book...

now, the new cat my ex got for one of my kids...that cat is dumb...her name is Rita, it should be RitaRD, she's dumb as a box of Napalm sitting on the heater...It was funny watching her launch off the ex's head while she was in crazy mode tho.

I just love all the flowery use of adjectives by catlovers...it's like they're projecting their fantasy inner selves onto the pathetic critters...

Also makes me wonder how many of the above are gals?

I just love all the flowery use of adjectives by catlovers...it's like they're projecting their fantasy inner selves onto the pathetic critters...

And dog owners don't do the same?

And dog owners don't do the same?

My original statement about my dog...

"my english bully named Atlas is THE best dog/friend/companion you could EVER have....fun, funny looking, goofy, loyal...and downright cute."

compared to...

"Bullwinkle, a female long-hair, is very nice although a bit strange. And if she goes on your lap she will dig in her claws when you eventually try to get her off. She, like most of the cats, tolerates the dog.
Another one, only known as Visitor Kitty. He is very friendly for an outdoor cat and gets along very well with all of the other cats (except Felix)and the dog, too!
Felix is pretty new, we found him abandoned/run away. Nobody claimed him, so he lives with us now. He is very affectionate to us, gets along with the dog, but obviously comes from a single-cat household. He picks on all the cats but Radagast and Atruma Fortis. He has a very unusual tail, like a squirrel's.
Radagast is very lazy but friendly, and he gets along well with the kitten. Nobody picks on him, because he's not a threat.
Atruma Fortis is my kitten, and she's very affectionate and idolizes Radagast.
Alsea is pretty old (not as old and Squash and Bullwinkle, though)and rather plump. She like her 'creature comforts'. She gets along well with Radagast.
Each of these cats is are 'master prowlers' (except Radagast and the kitten. And Alsea, she hasn't worked out how to kill them yet), and you obviously haven't had much experience with cats. Good day, sir! |:("

I believe 'master prowlers' pretty much sums up my point :)

And dog owners don't do the same?

Alright, I'll indulge...Atlas is a Master Farter....as well as a Master Snorer...and not to forget...Master "Dear Lord I didn't think that noise/bodily sound was possible in a realm of three dimensions!!!"...

Shadowcat7 wrote:

I'm happy to say that our Australian Shepherd was successfully given away last year and we are now dog free and loving it.

Wow, you adopt a pet into your home, and after making a well informed and thought filled decision, decide to give the dog away ?

Sad.

I'm not quite sure where you got the idea that we adopted the dog and then gave it away. Upon review of my post I fail to find where I spelled out our history with the animal.

In actuality it was my wife's parent's dog, and when they moved away they were unable to take it with them. The move was pretty sudden (new immediate job opening) and they didn't have the time to find a new, good home for him. Instead of the less-than-optimal choice of the humane society or a shelter (where he could very easily have been killed), we opted to take the dog into our home until a suitable family could be found for him.

So, I guess that yes, we made a well informed and thought filled decision to take the pet into our home...however the motives you ascribe to me and mine are quite inaccurate.

I really would like to get A cat. However, my property thrives with geckos, Texas spiny lizards, and Carolina anoles. And I know what would happen to my little friends if I got a cat.

@ Shadowcat - Wasn't that a line in "The Farmers and the Cowboys should be Friends"? (Or was it called "Territory Folk"?)

I'm not sure. It very well could be...there are so many little bits and pieces of things like that out there that I may have dredged it up and not known where it came from.

Ubermench wrote:

And dog owners don't do the same?

My original statement about my dog...

"my english bully named Atlas is THE best dog/friend/companion you could EVER have....fun, funny looking, goofy, loyal...and downright cute."

compared to...

"Bullwinkle, a female long-hair, is very nice although a bit strange. And if she goes on your lap she will dig in her claws when you eventually try to get her off. She, like most of the cats, tolerates the dog.
Another one, only known as Visitor Kitty. He is very friendly for an outdoor cat and gets along very well with all of the other cats (except Felix)and the dog, too!
Felix is pretty new, we found him abandoned/run away. Nobody claimed him, so he lives with us now. He is very affectionate to us, gets along with the dog, but obviously comes from a single-cat household. He picks on all the cats but Radagast and Atruma Fortis. He has a very unusual tail, like a squirrel's.
Radagast is very lazy but friendly, and he gets along well with the kitten. Nobody picks on him, because he's not a threat.
Atruma Fortis is my kitten, and she's very affectionate and idolizes Radagast.
Alsea is pretty old (not as old and Squash and Bullwinkle, though)and rather plump. She like her 'creature comforts'. She gets along well with Radagast.
Each of these cats is are 'master prowlers' (except Radagast and the kitten. And Alsea, she hasn't worked out how to kill them yet), and you obviously haven't had much experience with cats. Good day, sir! |:("

I believe 'master prowlers' pretty much sums up my point :)

All this proves is that cat owners, like cats, are smarter and have greater languages skills than dog owners.*

...however the motives you ascribe to me and mine are quite inaccurate.

No, not at all. It boils down to opinion and morals. I have mine, you have yours, and quite wonderfully we are all succintly correct in our own little worlds :)

All this proves is that cat owners, like cats, are smarter and have greater languages skills than dog owners.*

Perhaps you shouldn't be throwing stones in your beautifully stained glass home ? :)

Shadowcat7 wrote:

...however the motives you ascribe to me and mine are quite inaccurate.

No, not at all. It boils down to opinion and morals. I have mine, you have yours, and quite wonderfully we are all succintly correct in our own little worlds :)

I can accept that. :)

Paul Watson wrote:

All this proves is that cat owners, like cats, are smarter and have greater languages skills than dog owners.*

Perhaps you shouldn't be throwing stones in your beautifully stained glass home ? :)

I'm an ex-cat owner. Naturally, there has been some degradation in my language skills since then.

Besides, sir, I posit that you started to throw stones long before I engaged in my levity-based response. Or, to put it another way, you started it! ;-)