We be Goblins Forever, TPK ending (Inactive)

Game Master The Indescribable

Doza climbs back down and will bravely follow the rest of the goblin troupe from very far behind.

Climb: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (10) + 10 = 20

Was planning on moving in closer (link)....

Rhuun sneaks ahead of the party, leaving them behind as he draws closer.

Perception check: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 91d20 + 6 ⇒ (10) + 6 = 16 and nothing happens.

Zika follows just behind Rhuun, attempting to hide herself as well and looking and listening carefully as she goes.

Stealth: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (20) + 12 = 32
Perception: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (16) + 7 = 23

Zika beats their perception check and remains unseen, she can hear shuffling and a soft neigh around the side of the ship.

Zika taps Rhuun on the shoulder to get his attention. She points around the side of the ship, then pantomimes riding a horse, rather badly, to all her companions.

Sense Motive (decipher pantomime): 1d20 + 1 - 2 ⇒ (16) + 1 - 2 = 15

everybody roll sense motive, Rhuun, you got the gist.

Sense Motive: 1d20 ⇒ 19

Sense Motive: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8

"WHAT? THERE ARE GIANT ANTS OVER THERE?" Urk shouts.

Humans, and horse, stupid Urk! And now they hear us and come after us! Zika hisses from her hiding spot. Get ready; they coming soon!

A couple of crazed looking horses come galloping around the side, breathing heavily and giving off a terrifying whinny. Where did you get human? Init: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 2 = 21

Initiative (Ugh...): 1d20 + 3 - 2 ⇒ (12) + 3 - 2 = 13

Initiative: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23

A guess from the shuffling, which was apparently wrong. I didn't say she was the BEST scout...:)

Initiative: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (12) + 5 = 17

After Urk ruins everything once again(in Zashi's eyes, at least), Zashi hops off Chomper and prepares to fight.

Zashi and Chomper have the same Dex bonus, and you want them to go at the same time, so I'm just going to roll one Initiative and have it stand for them both.

1d20 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 2 = 19Initiative

Doza's Initiative: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12

Urk, Horses, Zashi, Zika, Rhuun, Doza

Urk cackles gleefully as his dogslicer burst into flame, then charges towards the closest horse.

assuming I can get there, swift to activate fire blessing, the charge and attack

attack: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 9
damage: 1d4 + 1d4 ⇒ (3) + (1) = 4

He proceeds to look embarrassed.

And has unfortunately placed himself directly in front of two pissed off horses. The first one rears up and kicks at you with his hooves, the second does so half a second after his friend does. attack 1: 1d20 - 4 ⇒ (19) - 4 = 15attack 2: 1d20 - 4 ⇒ (1) - 4 = -3 you're able to dodge and weave between their hooves taking a few glancing blows to your armor.

Chomper runs up and swings at a horse while Zashi bolts and casts Acid Splash at the same one, provided Chomper doesn't take it down somehow.

1d20 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (14) + 3 + 2 = 19Claw swing A
1d20 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 3 + 2 = 8Claw swing B
1d20 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 3 + 2 = 23Bite swing

1d6 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7Claw Damage A
1d6 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8Claw Damage B
1d6 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 = 3Bite Damage

Chomper Makes a charge+Pounce, and has -2 AC until his turn next round.

1d20 + 3 ⇒ (10) + 3 = 13Ranged Touch
1d3 ⇒ 3Acid

Zashi moves a ways away and casts Acid splash.

Horse 1 has taken 10 damage from Chomper while the second horse has been hit for three damage.

Seeing that Chomper and Zashi have managed to severely wound one of the horses, Zika jumps from her hiding place and ambushes the other, attempting to place it between Chomper's teeth and her own.

Move action to get in position to flank the less-injured horse, standard action to make bite attack.

Bite attack, damage, sneak attack+Dirty Fighter if I can get flanking: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (14) + 6 = 201d4 ⇒ 11d6 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4 = (20 to hit, 1 damage non-flanking non-Stealth) (22 to hit, 5 damage flanking) (20 to hit, 5 damage non-flanking with Stealth)

You don't flank but you do get into a good attack position, your stealth holds up and you're bite gets sneak attack damage. You take a large chunk of bloody meat out of his flank and he screams.

Rhuun launches from where ever it was he was hiding coughs once and flies in to a rage at being sick. He axes the first horse he comes to demonstrate his frustration.

Battleaxe: 1d20 + 6 - 2 ⇒ (19) + 6 - 2 = 23 Damage: 1d6 + 4 - 2 ⇒ (1) + 4 - 2 = 3

Your axe bites into it's side Rhuun and it whinnys in pain.

"Pain, heh. Ohhh, by head...."

Doza glares at the horse that Urk attacked and curses it's misaligned legs.

Standard Action: Evil Eye Curse (-2 to attack rolls) for 6 rounds;DC 14 Will reduces the duration to 1 round.
Move Action: move up 20 feet closer if necessary to get within 30 ft. hex range.

That depends, how far back fro the others were you staying? You said you were staying far behind them.

Doza climbs back down and will bravely follow the rest of the goblin troupe from very far behind.

[dice=Climb] 1d20+10

Good point. She'll double move (40 ft. total) to be within 30 feet of the horses so that she can try to lend aid to Urk next turn.

Back to Urk then.

Urk howls "Stinky horsies! You lunch!" and swings again.

Dogslicer: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9
Damage: 1d4 + 1d4 ⇒ (2) + (3) = 5

Urk misses and the horses in pain from your attacks make a withdraw action, you see them galloping away.

Zika lets out a loud, raucous cheer. We beats them! We can beats ALL of them! Let's go, let's go!

Now that you're no longer distracted by the horrible horses you notice the gangplank up to the deck is set at a very steep angle, it will take effort to climb, though the vines and mud that cover it will provide some bracing.

Zika rushes to the gangplank. I's fastest, I's best climber, let me go first!

Climb the gangplank: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4

*sad trombone noises*

She rushes for the gangplank, begins the climb - and falls hard on her rump as she loses her grip on the vines and slips in the mud.

Zika rushes to the gangplank. I's fastest, I's best climber, let me go first!

[dice=Climb the gangplank]1d20+3

*sad trombone noises*

She rushes for the gangplank, begins the climb - and falls hard on her rump as she loses her grip on the vines and slips in the mud.

You are very lucky I don't have critical fumble app, even if it's not meant for skills I WOULD find a way to shoehorn it in here.

"Careful, something is still at the tippy top top."

You are very lucky I don't have critical fumble app, even if it's not meant for skills I WOULD find a way to shoehorn it in here.

I'd let you, because it'd be hilarious.

"Hahahahaha-*blurp* Ughhhhhh, stomach.... Maybe food...." Rhuun pulls out poor Ungulp XIV stares the toad in the eyes for a while and then promptly hurls in the shrubbery.
He's not in anyway surprised to see a fulling grown, live herring exit his mouth.
Stowing his toad with the rest of rations, Rhuun returns to the party. "Ughhh."

Korak The Boisterous wrote:

You are very lucky I don't have critical fumble app, even if it's not meant for skills I WOULD find a way to shoehorn it in here.

I'd let you, because it'd be hilarious.

I do... Just saying...

Urk lifts up his kilt and does a jiggly little dance at the fleeing horses, knowing that the must be filled with dread of his battle prowess. He then laughs at Zika's poor luck climbing, and realizes "Hey, don't you have a ladder in that special prize you gotz?"

No... Zika glances over her shoulder at the patches on the robe. Ok, mebbe... She tries to reach for the patch, but can't quite get her hand on it. Uh...someone help reach it?

*grope.* "Is that ladder?"

And thus ended the short story of Rhuun-who-forgot-his-horse-bane-and-got-stabbed-in-the-ear

"Pfffft... nope."

"Dis why goblins so dumb. Goblins no understand when bad things around to come eat goblins until goblins get eaten by bad things coming to eat goblins. Bad things are going to come eat goblins, just you wait and see!" Doza stands back a few feet and starts looking for a good place to hide.

Urk looks at Doza questioningly, and sticks his hand into his armpit to make fart noises.

are you seriously going to take this long to pull a patch off the robe?