The Gods

Game Master ThePuppyTurtle


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This is the discussion space for The Gods game.

Check in if you will and we can begin to discuss any preexisting relationships we want between player Gods before the game's current time and who created what.

In addition I will be selecting Forgotten Realms Gods to make up the NPC slots, somewhat based on what roles the players occupy.


Male (Usually) Deity of Change and Chance, Transformation and Chaos

The Prince of Chaos, Harbinger of Change, The Mad Shaper, The Lucky Arrow; Scrapeknee reporting for non-duty


God of Wrath, Madness, and Fear

The Laughing Man, Lord of Teeth, and all-around swell guy Babaki is ready to start the show!


God of the Depraved

God of the Depraved, The first Boss, Shadow Keeper, Lord of the Meek, Empowerer, God of the People, Chain Breaker.


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Male (Usually) Deity of Change and Chance, Transformation and Chaos

Okay, first let me say its entirely possible I'm getting how characters want to present their characters wrong, and IC opinions are subject to change (Particularly for Scrapeknee) so let me know what you think of these opinions from Scrapeknee's perspective about your characters.

On Adriel- "My eyes! Too much shine on the armor! Seriously though, he seems more open minded than many champions of law and good, but that's kind of like saying a Willow is more flexible than an oak. It's true, but its still pretty rooted. On one level, he's rather adorable, like a young lad with a stick wanting to beat up the evil bush or whatever else he can imagine as a villain. On the other hand, his stick hurts so don't ruffle his hair too often."

On Atheos- "This fellow is the very definition of self defeating. 'There are no gods, ignore the fact I am one...pay no attention to the rather powerful deity behind the curtain'. It's hilarious, really. How can one who knows so damn much be so utterly lacking in self awareness? I admit, I do enjoy changing 'facts' from time to time, just to watch his 'worshipers' try to make sense of it all. Facts are silly things, and have a notable Lawful bias!"

On Babaki- "He's always got a smile on his face, then again, so does a shark. He and I share some worshipers, down on their luck types. But trust me, their odds are far better with me than him. He has his favorites, I hear, but you don't show your toys you love them by breaking them, my friend."

On Cil'Dar- "Life is more than mere survival, dear god of desperation. Grasp grasp grasp, Us vs them, plot plot plot, wash rinse repeat; Doesn't it ever get dull? I'm all for self improvement, but this is just a vicious tribal cycle and I enjoy when I get the chance to shove a stick in the spokes of its wheel. Of course, I usually have to leave quickly after that.... fellow has no sense of humor"

On Ishalla- "I admit, I enjoy her for the contradictions she provides. Such a young goddess claiming the title 'first', and portraying herself as a survivor when she's actually quite the sentimentalist. We have some differences, she and I. She prefers nature over civilization and cities, I see a city as natural as an ant colony and even more fun to shake up. There's a passion in this fellow goddess of chaos, and I admit, I'd really like to see if I can get her to laugh a bit more."

On Michazra- "She's really really good at playing people, even other gods. If it was all in fun, we'd hang out, but she's like a glutton with a hole in her belly. She'll never have enough. Maybe if she'd stop the all bone diet, she'd actually have fewer hunger pains. She wants it all, but even if she gets it, she's going to be miserable I suspect."

On Osoro- "What's that? How many women? I find your faith interesting and would like to subscribe to your pamphlets! What's this in the fine print? Family, responsibilities? Ugh. And we were doing so well. Still, he might be fun to drink with as long as we can keep the subject off the kids."

Tharros- "Please, never mention him when I'm eating. He's the god of killjoys, the smotherer of a good party, the drowner of delights, and I find him offensive. I mean, I change things, he causes decay... it's the difference between the one who prepares a fun meal, and the one who turns into into stool right in front of you. There's nothing creative about anything he does. I am a god of luck and chance, he tries to arrange it so no one has a chance. He's just... argh!"

Vortae- "Who? Kidding. Poor Vortae is a nostalgic old soul with a melancholy air that certainly shows that chaos isn't always upbeat and energetic. I much prefer my brand of it, but I'd be a hypocrite if I tried to insist there's only one kind. I do like his curiousity, and he can find things I've walked by a thousand times and discover whole treasures! Amazing really, and possibly one of the only times he seems to get excited and even happy. I play with 'what is' to make it what it could be, he lives for 'what almost was' to bring it back into being. Despite our common alignment, I don't think I'll ever quite understand him. Still, if he needs help, I'm always happy to help open a gate no one should ever of touched. We'll call it a bonding experience. heh."

Zodaxus- "I love this guy! Oh sure, he's a soft touch, but with so many of us taking ourselves oh so seriously, Zodaxus reminds folks of the fun there is in being a god. I think his motto is 'Freedom is the right of all sentient bei... ooo an open keg and a winsome lass, be right back', and while I'm not as hung up on the whole idea of individual liberties trumping all, I can at least consider the perks. He's never really still as befits a dancing god and while he's got causes and crusades of his own, he accepts that you don't have to be oh so serious while pursuing them."

Again, all the above is what I imagine a CN god of change, luck and chaos would think of them not what they are.


Male God of Lions, Families, Protection and Polyamory

Osoro, Master of Prides, He of a Hundred Wives, Mothers' Hope

(It should have been plural Mothers when I typed it in the application. Shaaaaame!)


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Tharros, god of killjoys, the smotherer of good parties, and drowner of delights checking in. =P


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Male God of Lions, Families, Protection and Polyamory

On the First Mother Ishalla, "The difference between the tiger and the lion is that the tiger hunts alone. We share a concern over beasts... I wonder if she's a long forgotten daughter of mine?" (Or not so forgotten, maybe? I don't know if that interests you at all)

On Babaki, Lord of Teeth, "I have coveted his following of Orcs, who I still see the spark of familial love in. Their polygamous clans would be close to perfect for me, if only they could rein in their destructive tendencies. Many of my followers have lost a child due to the mad wrath of his followers. And so many of his followers, the dissatisfied and bored could improve their lot by dedicating their life to family. I am unpleased with his actions."

On Zodaxus, the Dark Liberator, "He is like a child. Which can be enjoyable as children are one of the greatest gifts, and the source of many happy times. But he is too often naive about the dangers that surround our followers. And he has a tendency to to condescend to me about being staid, as if he knows better. Perhaps he's more like a teenager than a child. Still, its not bad to have a cleric of Zodaxus at a wedding, or at the very least, the reception."

On Adriel, the Guide of Heroes, "I have been trying to fix him up with a daughter of mine for at least a few centuries. Heroics are great... if they protect one's loved ones. A hero with a family with fight that much harder. I feel like too often his followers abandon their families at home to pursue their great quests. Still, I have more than a few Lion Knights in my service who have told me that his Paladins are spotless, and I have celebrated more than a few marriages between his followers and mine. Still, he works so hard."

On Atheos, the Voice of Reason, "More bewildering than even Scrapeknee, sometimes. Though most once-mortal gods are a little bewildering. He is exhausting. A little too eager to debate, which is so much work."

On Scrapeknee, the Prince of Chaos, "His tampering has had ruin several happy marriages, which still angers me. But on the other hand, I have also seen his hand change things that have caused love and new families to spring up. I would like him so much more if he could focus more on helping, but I suppose he would prefer that I were to 'loosen up'. "

On Tharros, the Hollow, "I have seen too many families be torn apart by death to be entirely comfortable with the man, and we have had disputes in the past. Still, he is not a malicious god and I cannot blame him for his lot." (I was thinking like a dispute between Osoro and Tharros over a mortal wife of Osoro's?)

On Michazra, Dead Creed, "Greed and ambition tear men away from tending to their families, and they often cloak themselves in that they are only trying to provide for their families. I would prefer that they spend more time with their family than toil away for a few more gold coins. No man has laid upon his death bed and wished he spent more time at the office."

On Vortae, the Traveler at Twilight, "Solitude is too harsh a burden for anyone to bear. I have made overtures of a marriage between him and one of my children to ease his sorrow, and maybe create something new. Look at his portfolio, he shouldn't work so hard. Still, my people know well enough to give his clerics safe travel through their lands. He claims that he created cats, which I reject."

On Cil'dr, Empowerer, "His societies have fought my peoples many times. I would wager he thinks I am soft. I know the strength of my roar. I also know that even in his most tyrannical of hoards, mothers will offer me secret prayers to protect their children. We are too much alike, I think." (Oh, they both have tribal followers... Maybe we're brothers or brothers-in-law or something?)

And obviously, that's based on first impressions from your write-ups. If you feel like I'm way off the mark, say so.


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Michazra, God Thief, Lying Mistress and Dead Creed, blesses this pantheon with Her unholy presence. Ambition undying!

I think Scrapeknee had a brilliant idea, and wish to do the same. With 11 players, it can be hard to get to know everyone, and this is a good exercise to do that.

IC flood of text ahoy!:

On Adriel: "I have this strange feeling he and I are going to be disagreeing on many issues. Still, I admire his passion and as long as he does not disable those who follow a darker road we can get along. And if not, well, I have experience in handling naive knights..."

On Atheos: "Fools like him are irritating. Divinity is unneeded? I'd rather his wish be granted and see him removed from the pantheon completely. Science in general is boring: they just study in hopes they find something. Mortals should seek something concrete, not simply dabble blindly."

On Babaki: "Does he really have no dreams or aspirations at all...? Stay away from me you creepy lunatic!"

On Cil'dr: "I'm glad there is someone I can agree with this much. Everyone should do what they must to survive, yes! And not just survive, but also thrive! And follow their ambitions! ...What's wrong with decadency, though?"

On Ishalla: "Life is nice and all, but if this... b**@$ thinks undeath is abhorrent... Girl, we have a fight coming."

On Osoro: "I don't disagree with him and he probably does not hate me. I better stay on good terms with this God: he has this aura of wisdom and other Gods might listen to him."

On Scrapeknee: "On surface he's just a clown to me. But I hear he supports mortals who work hard in their hopes to bring change. In any case, he's likely a simpleton: easy to manipulate!"

On Tharros: "YOU. Do you have any idea what I had to go through just to fulfill my greatest ambition? I nearly died! Of everything in the existence ever, I hate you the most. At my earliest opportunity I will remove you."

On Vortae: "Please don't try to destroy the world. I can't say I've had fond memories there, but my favorite followers live (or unlive) there."

On Zodaxus: "Please take this seriously. And will you ever shut up?"


Showing the various Gods different views of each other is a really good idea you guys, bravo. If you like we can work out more specific friends and rivals among them before we begin or just start with a mostly blank slate.

On the issue of who created what in the past we can detail it a bit or if it's not too important Gods can just have made whatever, whenever. i.e. two or more Gods could have created the Elven species on different worlds, etc.


I'll be out of town tomorrow so I'll try and pop the gameplay thread today, even if we aren't necessarily completely ready yet, just to introduce things a bit and start the ball rolling.

Also once I know how many players selected are indeed playing for sure I'll know how many NPC slots there are and finish my selection of NPC Gods and post them.


Male God of Lions, Families, Protection and Polyamory

I'd vote for having more specific friendships and rivalries and relationships over a blank slate before we start.


Male (Usually) Deity of Change and Chance, Transformation and Chaos

Thanks, glad you guys like :)

I think once we find out which FR gods are going to be in use, I may give Scrapeknee's opinions on them as well just for the bonus points (What? No points? I'll likely do it anyway)

I don't want to assume a friendship or force a rivalry on anyone without their go ahead. Sometimes that can be a pain when someone finds themselves cast in this or that role that they didn't ask for. But if someone wants to bounce ideas on how their god relates or doesn't to Scrapeknee in more detail, let me know. :)

As for race creations and the like, I can see Scrapeknee altering existing life to something new more than necessarily creating it whole cloth. For example, in his write up I mention he might have rewarded some fleeing humans who begged for help by merging them with horses to turn them into centaurs. So it is possible he made the first centaurs and they now roam certain areas of the world, unless someone else wanted to make them?

He might put his own tweak on 'core' races to create sub races, and this could cause some friction with other gods I imagine. But I'm not sold on anything particular (31 flavors of elves! etc)


Agreed with Osoro.

Mica hates Tharros from the bottom of her heart, the question is how much Tharros hates her back.

Cil'dr, wanna be fwends with me?


God of the Depraved

will comment more after work, just watching for now, can't read up on each other's gods. don't expect my god to follow who his "friends" are very strictly along alignment lines.

@michaxra, based on your title, no, I find undeath to be a breach of contract with the universe.


Does every player God loathe undeath? Guess I'll be making friends among the NPC Gods then.

Skrapeknee and Zodaxus, help me out here. Friends?


Male God of Lions, Families, Protection and Polyamory

Osoro's problem is the greed and ambition not the undead. Don't work so hard. ;)


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Male (Usually) Deity of Change and Chance, Transformation and Chaos
OSoro wrote:
On Scrapeknee, the Prince of Chaos, "His tampering has had ruin several happy marriages, which still angers me. But on the other hand, I have also seen his hand change things that have caused love and new families to spring up. I would like him so much more if he could focus more on helping, but I suppose he would prefer that I were to 'loosen up'. "
Michazra wrote:
On Scrapeknee: "On surface he's just a clown to me. But I hear he supports mortals who work hard in their hopes to bring change. In any case, he's likely a simpleton: easy to manipulate!"

Nice! I don't know your characters well yet but looking at how they see Scrapeknee helps me get insights into them and at the same time lets me know how Scrapeknee comes across. I find it amusing that Scrapeknee misses the entire point of Osoro's 'many wives' set up and the Master of Prides comes across (If I'm reading that quote in the right tone) is slightly exasperated by that. And yes, Michazra's begrudging acknowledgement that Scrapeknee has one good quality is a nice touch.

If I am reading things right, Michazra is a true trickster compared to Scrapeknee's playing at it, and that's how it should be. He's not a fool per se, so hopefully she'll be disappointed that she'll actually have to work to trick him, but boy, if she tricks him he'll probably end up doing a lot of the work as he tends to get enthused! I think he'd find the status quo of undead a bit dull, but he doesn't bear them any special hostility and could see their presence in certain areas as a laugh riot. He probably wouldn't see her as a rival or an enemy, but would know better than to try to make a friend of her. He might cheer her on against some of the lawfuls now and then ;)

As to what relation Osoro and Scrapeknee might have, I can see Osoro having to put his foot down regarding his territory once or twice, and Scrapeknee clueless at what he did to upset one "But the guy had like, ten wives? Why would one matter??" etc. On the other hand, both prefer not to work too hard, so I can see them hanging out at the local tavern watering hole and getting along well enough. I do picture Scrapeknee as having an almost Zeus like attitude, loving his offspring even if he barely remembers which mother had them. The fact Scrapeknee would actually look in and out for his bastards now and then might help raise him in Osoro's view... but just a little?


Gameplay thread's popped, feel free to narrate a day in the amazing life of your God as his/her introduction and to give the rest of us a more vivid look at their personality. I'll be adding more narration bits about mortals and Gods doing stuff and start having them interact with PC Gods as well once the PCs are established.


Male God of Lions, Families, Protection and Polyamory

Yeah, I might have missed that part of Scrapeknee, but part of my first ideas of Osoro was being the God of Husbands and Fathers but I didn't want him to be the god of Patriarchy, but anyone who is good to their children is going to be better liked by Osoro, and yeah, Osoro likes to sun himself out in the savannah and can appreciate anyone who also doesn't like to work too hard.

Liberty's Edge

The Dark Liberator, The Last of the Nightbirds, Lord of Epic Awesomeness, Greatest Dancer in the Universe and That's Just a Fact

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I got picked. This calls for an ATOMIC VICTORY DANCE.

As Zodaxus begins his dance, all around look on in awe. The god summons the second greatest victory song (he is saving the greatest one, but the second greatest one is still mindblowingly epic) to accompany his dance.

Alrighty then, this is Zodaxus, the dark Liberator, last of the night birds, Lord of epic awesomeness, the greatest dancer in the universe and that's just a fact, signing in.


God of the Depraved
Michazra wrote:

Does every player God loathe undeath? Guess I'll be making friends among the NPC Gods then.

Skrapeknee and Zodaxus, help me out here. Friends?

I've thought more of it, he probably doesn't have a problem with ghosts and unintelligent undead, but anyone keeping their soul from being judged(except possibly your followers i guess) is breaking their contract with their god or the universe in general.

for instance my dead followers have a specific task in the afterlife, anyone using necromancy to keep living isn't keeping to me.

also, i had decadence or indulgence, so i think I don't like much of the rest of your doctrine either. I specifically take it as wasting resources and indirectly hurting your friends, teh resoruces should be used to help your chances.

edit: read up on tharros, if he's really the reason that people die, Then I no longer have a problem with undead.

Liberty's Edge

The Dark Liberator, The Last of the Nightbirds, Lord of Epic Awesomeness, Greatest Dancer in the Universe and That's Just a Fact
Michazra wrote:

Does every player God loathe undeath? Guess I'll be making friends among the NPC Gods then.

Skrapeknee and Zodaxus, help me out here. Friends?

I have absolutely no problem wth undeath. So long as no one is harmed, every person has any right to become whatever kind of undead thing they wish to become, and it is certainly wrong to judge people who has been made undead against their will.

However, you happen to be evil. The downside of being good is that you have to restrict your behavior. The downside of being evil is that no one likes you. You are evil. No one likes you because you hurt people, and everyone is people, so you could potentially hurt to them. Even over evil dudes are going to trust you because you are totally liable to hurt them. Having no friends is simply the cost of antisocial behavior.

That said, if you're willing to embrace a good or neutral alignment, I would be totally willing to chill with you regardless of your being the mistress of undeath.


Michazra wrote:

Does every player God loathe undeath? Guess I'll be making friends among the NPC Gods then.

Skrapeknee and Zodaxus, help me out here. Friends?

They'll be NPC God friends indeed for if you don't make friends among the PCs=)


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These are the Gods from Forgotten Realms I've selected:

Lathander
Helm
Mystra
Shar
Cyric
Lolth
Asmodeus
Bane
Loviatar


Male (Usually) Deity of Change and Chance, Transformation and Chaos

Is this version of Mystra the original LN goddess of magic, or the NG former mortal ascended version? I figure with Cyric around it might be the latter but figured I'd ask

Dark Archive

deity God of the Unknown

I am the Unknown.


Scrapeknee wrote:
Is this version of Mystra the original LN goddess of magic, or the NG former mortal ascended version? I figure with Cyric around it might be the latter but figured I'd ask

Ascended mortal NG version, though how it came about for those two is different then in FR.


Male (Usually) Deity of Change and Chance, Transformation and Chaos

Okay, post for Scrapeknee and how he might spend half a day or so is up. I hope it's the sort of thing you're looking for.


Scrapeknee wrote:
Okay, post for Scrapeknee and how he might spend half a day or so is up. I hope it's the sort of thing you're looking for.

Yep, that's really good, it does a good job of showcasing his personality.


Male Human Fighter 20/Paladin 14/Books-A-Million Salebook Specialist 10/Aspiring Writer 13

Checking in for Adriel! Love how y'all came up with your deities' opinions of each other! I'll have a proper alias for Adriel after work around 7:30ish pm est.


Also everyone feel free to interact with your fellow Gods in game once an introduction is up for them. If things don't take off naturally I'll start the story up and give you guys reasons to interact.


God of the Depraved

scrapeknee, why didn't you like rotate everything on that old wizards home planet by 36 deg about the core of the world?

Dark Archive

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deity God of the Unknown

Adriel - He is what he is, and most of what He is, is boring. He stands for stasis in the physical, sociohistorical, *and* mental senses, and of purpose without vision. Sad. That said, He teaches open-mindedness and aspiration, which is an excellent start.

Atheos - An interesting puzzle. His nurturance of knowledge, discovery, and mortal intellect is a fine thing, but His affiliation with "Order" and the common fallacy that logic is an artifact of Law suggests a lingering mortal simplicity that may well undo Him in the long run, especially given His decidedly non-linear aims and tactics. I do not fear His somewhat wayward agenda; He might make a fine ally, and hopefully I can teach Him to outgrow some of those crutches He's unwittingly built into himself.

Babaki - Evil, certainly, but at least in an entertaining way. You have to respect an artist, and I suspect there is in fact a great deal more intelligence there than many would assume (and somewhere in there, even a sliver of kindness and mercy - fascinating!). He will be my enemy as often as not, such is His proclivity, but no hard feelings. He has my respect whether He wants it or not.

Cil'Dar - He is everything I most loathe in mortal behavior. "Loathe" is not even a satisfactory word. I will make this clear right now: We are the worst of enemies, and I dream of the day that You and everything You embody cease to exist.

Ishalla - Disappointingly narrow-minded; I can always respect a cat-lover, but otherwise She doesn't strike me as a Chaos goddess at all, really - I remember a time when this whole system She embodies was just one silly little idea of countless! Fortunately, She does believe in exploration and the pushing of boundaries; hopefully she will learn much from that.

Michazra - I have Mixed feelings about her; she has some good ideas (unbridled ambition is alright in My book, and undeath is an ingenious alternative state of being to life and death - I wish I'd thought of it!), but then she RUINS them, embodying practically all the things that can go wrong with them and just playing right into the hands of people like Adriel, Ishalla, and Tharros. I hate all her lies too - the worst lie of all is the notion that lies expand the realm of the possible, when it's the OPPOSITE that's true! Frustrating, to say the least.

Osoro - I may have created cats, but it is He who led some of them to become lions; I feel that making cats into something that organized and highly social is kind of a betrayal of their original spirit, but that's His creative vision, not mine. Other than that, I usually find Him downright uncomfortable to be around. I'm rather bothered by this family and community fixation of his; He overemphasizes it, to say the least. I couldn't bear to live like that, and it's not clear that He respects those who walk alone. He's absolutely right about one thing, though: Existence ought to be about doing what you enjoy.

Scrapeknee - An admirable individual who complements Me well - He seems to content to tweak his enemies' noses and run away when sometimes it's worth making a stand, but otherwise, We mostly just think on different timescales. I think this might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Tharros - I have but one question for It: WHY??? What a perversity. Destruction of some things to make room for other things is forgivable, but this thing is determined to achieve absolute oblivion...just because! I stand for the realization of infinite possibilities, It just wants to snuff possibility itself, all justified by endless rhetoric of "order" and "balance," as if those mortal-minded doctrines held any meaning in the grand scheme of things. The biggest idiot in the cosmos.

Zaphod Beeblebrox Zodaxus - Too loud, too sociable, and frankly not discriminating enough - the greatest rewards of existence can only be savored individually. He respects such differences, however, and unlike some is smart enough to know the limits of His knowledge, and that's good enough. The story of His genesis hits a personal note with Me - a choice made. A difference made. A dream realized. There's more than meets the careless eye here. I shall be watching this one with great interest (at least as long as I can tolerate it).


Male God of Lions, Families, Protection and Polyamory

ooh, I like that idea of lions v cats. I'm sure that's what the mortals believe when trying to reconcile our faiths.

Liberty's Edge

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The Dark Liberator, The Last of the Nightbirds, Lord of Epic Awesomeness, Greatest Dancer in the Universe and That's Just a Fact

(This isn't finished, but I decided not to make you wait for the ones I do have while I fill in the rest.)

Zodaxus’ Opinions on and Nicknames For the Other Gods

Adriel: "The Square Knight," "Captain Shiny," "Buzzkill." Yeesh, lighten up guy. And also stop supporting feudalism. People do not have liberty if they are ruled over by a king they had no hand in selecting who can do just whatever he wants to them on a whim. You're a total buzzkill sometimes too. Unless it's totally redundant and has no effect on anything, honor only makes things worse and restricts totally justified efforts to help innocent people.

I like your racial egalitatianism. I like your benevolence. I dislike everything about how you are benevolence. It's as if we represent polar opposite impulses of good or something.

Also, what do you have against darkness? Did darkness kill your sister? Well it didn't, because technically it doesn't exist! It's just the absence of light, which can give you cancer by the way. How do you feel about that? *jazzhands*

Asmodeus: “The S$&@stain,” “A%~+*@&,” “F@!%wad,” “Goat-boy.” Screw. This. Guy. He is the biggest effing a*#%@++ in the entire multiverse, bar none. He’s a god, an effing god, who can do whatever he wants, and yet here he is prancing around oppressing everyone for an effing giggle. He’s the epitome of a self-centered jerkwad and a total square. “Read the fine print” he says. How about I shove the fine print up your furry ass? Total edgelord too. He dresses like he’s trying to camouflage himself in a giant vat of ass-blood and cherry twizzlers. Only good thing he ever did was lead to my existence, and it’s not like he had that in mind.

Atheos: "Socrates," "Bookworm," "Flat Earth Atheist." Some people might think I wouldn't like this guy. I will admit there are things about him I don't care for, but I really like his thoughtfulne-- HEY, STOP LAUGHING! I AM TOO THOUGHTFUL IF I WANNA BE! Anyways, I appreciate his belief in the potential of intelligent life, and I don't judge people for liking books for the same reason I don't judge people for liking parties like I do. Though that does give me an idea: the book party. Two completely incompatible impulses. Can they be brought together? I wonder...

Bakaki: “Assclown,” “Pennywise,” “Honk-Nose.” Of course there’s an effing evil clown. It’s just a fact of the universe. I hope he knows no one is fooled by the red nose and balloons. Maybe his disguise would work better if not for his GIANT EFFING TEETH? And of course he’s all about embracing your “inner predator.” Don’t get me wrong, I respect his virtues. The problem is that he thinks everyone should pursue their liberty, not liberty as a concept. That’s like choosing just you having cake over everyone having cake. If everyone has cake, that’s an awesome party. If just you have cake, you’re just some shmuck sitting at home eating cake. Sure, it tastes good, but it would be a much better experience if you didn’t take all the cake at the expense of other people’s cake.

Bane: “Mister-So-Effing-Special,” “The Slaving F@~!,” “HHHHAAAATTTEEE.” See the Asmodeus entry above. Replace the ass-blood and cherry twizzlers with tar and black-licorice.

On top of that, add how PRETENTIOUS this guy is. Like, seriously, you think you’re going to take over the effing world? Asshol-- oops, sorry, that’s someone else’s name. F%*%wa-- nope, did it again. Let’s see… f%~~hole. Look, f+#*hole, there are twenty of us. You are not going to be the one to take over the world. If one of us does that, it will be one of the ones who doesn’t make himself hated by everyone else.

Cil’dr: While I find myself siding with him on occasion, he has a bigger pole up his ass than any other god, no exceptions. More than Adriel, More than Bane, More than Asmodeus, More than Tharros, and that last one is saying something. He needs to take a one billion miligram chill pill and relax.

He also needs to stop hurting innocent people. That too.

Cyric: “Uggghhhhhhh.” Instead of writing an entry about him, I’m going to repeatedly bang my skull against the wall. I believe this will communicate the same basic concept my entry would. *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG*

Seriously though, strife ruins parties.

First Mother Ishalla: “My Waifu,” “Rawr,” “Jungle Fury.” Holy crap she is the awesomest awesome who ever awesomed. We’re so totally in sync. She just *gets* the world in the same way I do. She’s all about freedom, love, awesomeness, life, pleasure and possibilities just like me, and all without being an edgelord. I’d party with her any time.

(Just a teensy bit of a racist though.)

Helm: “Captain Helmet,” “Captain America (‘cuz he has a shield),” “Bouncer.” I don’t have too strong of an opinion on this guy to be honest. Bit of a square, but not so much so. Not really helpful, but doesn’t hurt much either. There’s really not much to say ‘bout him.

Lathander: “Sunbeam,” “Shinypants,” “Brightdude.” This guy is really cool; too mellow to party with, but not so much of a square that he’ll whine about your parties, and I’ve had plenty of rockin’ times with his worshipers. The whole “day-night” thing doesn’t really bother me unless it bothers him. I’m chill with him doing him if he lets me do me.

Lolth: “Spider-b$$**.” Spider-b%~##, Spider-b$$$#, does whatever a Spider-b#&*~ does. Commits a sin, any size. Kills the innocent just like flies. Look-out! Here comes the Spider-b@**%. Is she dumb? Listen hun. She won’t let victims have any fun. Should I be calling her a b~++!? Take a look in the abyss. Hey there! There is the Spider-b~~+*. Always doing evil s~%$, and she’ll never sto-op it. Like a pain in the butt, she acts like a total ****. Spider-b!#!!. Spider-b&%&&. Annoying effing Spider-b&~#&. If only she, could be ignored. Spiting her is its own reward. Her whole, life is a great big f#~!-up. If anyone needs to shut-up, it is the Spider-b##~~.

Okay, so it’s not my best work. If I’m going to parody the song, I have to stick to its meter, and sometimes that comes at the cost of my wording being a little awkward or vulgar. I would have rather rhymed any other word with “butt,” but that was the best I could come up with.

Loviatar: "The Dominatrix," "Ms. Leather," "Mrs. Leather," "Mizz Leather." I don't like any evil god, and I don't like many lawful gods, but of all the lawful evil gods, I hate her the least. I like that she's mostly about torturing people who are into it... but only mostly, and only to not arouse suspicion. I like that she's nice every now and then... but only because it makes pain worse. At the end of the day, she has too many vices for me to get behind her virtues, and that's a shame, because there's a back room in my palace, and I know plenty of people who would very much enjoy a visit from her.

Michazra: “Brain-dead,” “Maggotface,” “Romero.” A lot of people don’t like her because she’s the mistress of undeath and all that. I think they’re missing the forest for the trees. The problem with her is that she’s a self-centered jerk. I hope she realizes people only hate undead cuz she made them in such a way as to make it so that like 90 % of them are evil. I’ve seen her lament her lack of friends, and yeah there are some invalid complaints made against her, but it’s not like she’s some poor misunderstood puppy.

Mystra:

Osoro:

Scrapeknee: "Bro," "The Drinking King," "The second greatest dancer in the world even though his one leg is bad and that's just a fact." If you can only party with one person in your entire life, and if that person cannot be me for some reason, party with Scrapeknee. I don't approve of everything he does. He acts like a straight-up jerk sometimes, but at least when he does violate other's freedoms, it's usually not to their real detriment.

Shar:

Tharros: “Edgelord,” “Rot-Breath,” “Captain Ebola.” Jesus Christ this effing guy. I’ve called a few gods edgelords, but this guy is more than just an edgelord, he is the mother effing edgelord. Asshat makes up death and disease and then decides they all have to be inevitable because he wants ‘em to be. “YEA, THOU SHALT BOW BEFORE THE INEVITABILE END OF ALL THINGS, FOR I AM A WISE AND INFALLIBLE EDGELORD. YE SHALL BLINDLY EMBRACE WHATEVER B#$!%$@% I INVENT AS A FUNDAMENTAL PROPERTY OF THE UNIVERSE, FOR I AM THE LORD OF ALL THE EDGE. SERIOUSLY, LOOK HOW EDGY I AM. IF I WAS ANY EDGIER I WOULD CUT MYSELF ON ALL THE EDGE. EVEN AS IT IS NOW I HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL SO I DO NOT CUT MYSELF ON ALL THE EDGE.”

Votrae: "La Artiste," "Captain Hood," "The Ghost of Christmas Future." Totally cool guy. I read his backstory and kinda cried a bit. Those creator gods f%~@ed him over for no reason. His worshipers are often fun to party with, and kittens are adorable. If he ever needs anything to help him rebuild his universe, all he needs to do is ask me. Unless I have some more pressing matter to attend to, I'll totally help.

Also that hood is totally swag you should come to my house some time it would look amazing on the dance floor.


"Lord of Atheism" | Not-a-Lesser-God | Attack 3d6, Defense 5d6, HP 40

Scrapeknee: You misunderstand.

I don't exist.

You just don't exist either.

@Vortae: Atheos appreciates outsiders from lawful planes as more helpful servants, but other than that, he cares nothing at all about the alignments of his worshippers or other gods, since he believes actions are far more important than morality.

I'll come up with opinions on y'all later.


God of the Depraved
Vortae wrote:


Cil'Dar - He is everything I most loathe in mortal behavior. "Loathe" is not even a satisfactory word. I will make this clear right now: We are the worst of enemies, and I dream of the day that You and everything You embody cease to exist.

after i post my daily routine or whatever this may change... tharros for instance is my antithesis.


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"Lord of Atheism" | Not-a-Lesser-God | Attack 3d6, Defense 5d6, HP 40
Yuugasa wrote:

"If there is one thing you need to know about Gods..." Said the old Wizard, as he tapped the ashes out of his pipe then refilled it with fresh pipe weed.

"...it's that they are all, without exception, and that includes the good ones..." The Wizard continued as he knocked the ash from his long white beard and relit his pipe.

"...A bunch of f~$+ing dicks."

...

"Each other." The Wizard replies with a thoughtful look. "If this multiverse had one God instead of twenty perhaps there would be peace, but the Great Game continues on between them and we are the pawns on the board, if we find ourselves one of the individuals unfortunate enough to be caught up in it, any conceit we may hold that we are masters of our own...

Now THIS GUY sounds like a follower of Atheos!

(by which I mean: Atheos protects all atheists, regardless of whether or not they worship him)


I'll also point out that your introduction doesn't have to be a routine daily incident for your God, it can and should be something epic if you want, the important part is that it is an encounter that shows off your Gods personality and tastes.

Dark Archive

deity God of the Unknown
Scrapeknee wrote:

Facts are silly things, and have a notable Lawful bias!"

Haha, no they don't. I get the reference, but seriously; they don't.

Dark Archive

deity God of the Unknown

From what I can tell, I'm the only one with more than 4 or 5 Domains - does anyone have any input on which I should prune (unless we all want to make it an excuse for everyone else to have more Domains or something)?


Male (Usually) Deity of Change and Chance, Transformation and Chaos
Vortae wrote:
Scrapeknee wrote:

Facts are silly things, and have a notable Lawful bias!"

Haha, no they don't. I get the reference, but seriously; they don't.

Hey, if Scrapeknee didn't pretend to believe that, folks might expect him to study harder ;)


"Lord of Atheism" | Not-a-Lesser-God | Attack 3d6, Defense 5d6, HP 40

@Vortae—I believe the recruitment called for four domains each.

Chaos, Void, and Knowledge seem like the most thematic, with maybe Luck or Repose as the fourth.


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Male (Usually) Deity of Change and Chance, Transformation and Chaos

Scrapeknee's initial views on the NPCs... who I've discovered he didn't like as much as most of the PCs

Asmodeus - "Man of wealth and taste, plays a mean fiddle. He's also so proud that I'm almost obligated to tweak his nose every chance I get. He keeps wanting folks to sign things and expects it to stick."

Bane- "Behold, Bane is not as other gods. Bane is a sppoooooky black hand who needs to start in a position of power in all things else he gets scared and ends up sucking his thumb. Bane also speaks of Bane in the Bane Person. Oh, he's got power, but despite what he seems to think, he's in rather large company in that."

Cyric-"As mad as Babaki, but without the accompanying sense of humor. The fellow should be granted the 'God of sudden but inevitable betrayal' title. He's never seen a back he didn't want to knife. If I could, I would warp him so he could reach his own."

Helm- "The universe's most powerful slave, with chains that seem to be of his own making. Blah, the vigilant one is hard to slip by or fool, but it must truly suck to have five senses increased only to lose the one of humor to pay for it. Taunts aside, beware this one. He'd mangle your body and kill you if he thought his duty required it cold as a cut throat, and then have the nerve to say it was 'nothing personal.'"

Lathander- "Quite the youthful optimist, isn't he? Hard not to like him, and he's another one of us who is into self improvement and the like. Give Lathander his due, he almost always walks the talk he talks, even if he has some rather classic misteps."

Lolth- "Somehow mixing spiders and sex appeal works for her. who knew? Oh, she's cruel, powerful cruel, but at least she's inventive in her cruelty. She's rarely boring, but I worry she too is one of those goddess' who will just never have enough. Luckily for her foes, she's so mercurial that she often forgets one one of her many hands is doing while the others are it work. Yes, I realize the hypocrisy in me calling someone else mercurial"

Loviatar- "For all her pretense of seductivenss, she's ultimately a bore in the sack, a one trick trick who confuses breaking people for artistry. She's clever, but throw an act of random geniune kindess out there, and watch the light in her eyes dim as she just can't understand. I'm not a kind god by nature, but hey, if it can cause her confusion, I don't mind dabbling."

Mystra- "On one hand, she's a lovely lady who is rather modest for one so powerful. But so into using magic responsibly that it is as if she forgets to have fun with it. At least she hasn't lost her sense of wonder along with the fun though. I tend to claim transmutation magic as mine by default, where as she claims all magic period. I guess we'll sort it out."

Shar- "One should not look at a beautiful woman and feel less. Think less, yes, feel less? No. She's a living drug, but not the fun kind that lets you see multichromatic pachyderms, but the sort that makes you numb, and then you start relying on that numbness because you forget how to cope with any passion vaguely resembling a thrill. Just say no, kids."


Male (Usually) Deity of Change and Chance, Transformation and Chaos
Vortae wrote:
Scrapeknee - "An admirable individual who complements Me well - He seems to content to tweak his enemies' noses and run away when sometimes it's worth making a stand, but otherwise, We mostly just think on different timescales. I think this might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

Actually, that's pretty dead on target as I see it two on both counts. Scrapeknee isn't looking for a fight, and often avoids them, but one day he may have to roll his sleeves up and hope for the best. Mostly though he just sees too many candies in this world to scquabble over this or that one lightly.

And yep, if I'm reading you right about the time scales, Scrapeknee is very much in the here and now. That doesn't mean he has no thoughts at all on yesterday or plans for tomorrow at all, but his passions lead him everywhere rather than everywhen. Vortae opens his eyes to possiblities he doesn't normally consider and i imagine Scrapeknee likes that from time to time.

Zodaxus wrote:
Scrapeknee: "Bro," "The Drinking King," "The second greatest dancer in the world even though his one leg is bad and that's just a fact." If you can only party with one person in your entire life, and if that person cannot be me for some reason, party with Scrapeknee. I don't approve of everything he does. He acts like a straight-up jerk sometimes, but at least when he does violate other's freedoms, it's usually not to their real detriment.

Ah shucks. Zodaxus may end up being a good influence on Scrapeknee in the long rung with an attitude like that, and if Shar hates the Z-meister as much as she hated Selune, then I know which side Scrapeknee will pick. Chaotic bros before evil hos!

So, if I'm not presuming, both these gods may fall into the 'buddies' category for Scrapeknee.


Male (Usually) Deity of Change and Chance, Transformation and Chaos

Reads Michazra's first post

Wow. When they terminate your job at Michazra inc they really terminate your job


At your job interview you might want to mention your career goals upfront and not try to out-greed the CEO.

I'm not familiar with Forgotten Realms, so I may have to read some wikis before I can react to NPC Gods.


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"Lord of Atheism" | Not-a-Lesser-God | Attack 3d6, Defense 5d6, HP 40

I’ll look up those NPC gods later. Right now, Atheos’s favorite gods (and the ones he considers “friends”) are Vortae and Zodaxus, while his least favorite (and possibly “enemies”) are Scrapeknee and Michazra.

As for Atheos’s thought process, as a “god of atheism"—roughly, he categorizes the other gods in two categories: powerful and inevitable forces of nature that do not exist as “real” entities, whom he often has no interest in treating with; and powerful extraplanar entities who he does not regard as “gods” but still interacts with more frequently, hoping to learn from them or teach them the error of their ways.

Adriel is not a god. He’s a big guy, with wings, who likes hitting monsters with swords, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Atheos appreciates Adriel’s beliefs in equality and the blank slate he grants to his worshippers, judging them on their actions just as the god of skepticism does; but he regards Adriel as somewhat naive and dense, who would be better served rewarding all good in the world than tying it to his own worship. As a result, while Atheos has no quarrels with the followers of Adriel, he has little interaction with the great angel either, and his followers likewise take little interest in debating members of Adriel’s clergy.

Babaki does not exist. Somewhere, in the darkness of the outer planes, there is a primal force that drives men to madness and despair. But it is older than any name, more omnipresent than any mere personification. Perhaps the carnival is a manifestation of this itself, or perhaps the thing called “Babaki” is a parasite of immense power living off this force. Atheos recognizes Babaki’s church and practices as a dark force of destruction and pain on the universe, but is as yet unsure of whether this is a necessary and unavoidable evil or a blight to be removed.

Cil’dr is not a god. He is a child, striving blindly out of need and fear, stuck in the instincts of a primitive society because that is all he knows. If he grows up and learns to do something with his vast extraplanar power, perhaps he will be worth speaking to, but Atheos regards him as an entity not worthy of worship or note, and his followers are encouraged to undermine or aggressively convert worshippers of Cil’dr by showing them a better, more interesting world.

Ishalla does not exist. “If she loves animals so much, let them worship her, while she leaves humanity in peace” (See: Tharros for further opinions)

Michazra should not exist. Hers is a dark presence in a world laden with too much divinity, and the universe would be better off without her scheming. Michazra’s human flaws—her greed, deception, and “petty” ambition—represent everything Atheos dislikes about organized religion and the concept of “gods” as a whole. (While Atheos has no special hatred for the undead, he regards them as badly-built constructs, dangerously prone to malfunction and rage)

Osoro is not a god. He may be a force for good, a benevolent entity whose protection was far more valuable when mankind still lived in hunter-gatherer societies, but his providence is narrow, guarding and guiding only a narrow spectrum of humanity. If he finds something more useful or widespread to apply his efforts to, Atheos may have more to talk to him about, but currently simply tries to taunt Osoro and his followers into thinking outside the box.

Scrapeknee does not exist. Atheos acknowledges a troubling force for chaos that sometimes personifies itself. But Scrapeknee cares only for chaos, not change for the better, and Atheos regards him as a general spell of bad weather that the universe mysteriously suffers from. Scrapeknee is, a way, universe's “ultimate griefer,” and Atheos generally refuses to acknowledge his words, presence, or existence in any way.

Tharros does not exist. Atheos regards Ishalla and Tharros (or “Life" and “Death" as he considers their names unnecessary) as two sides of the same coin, both important natural forces that keep each other in check, but not ones that benefit from personification, worship or prayer. Atheos understands that both decay and life are important, in the cycle of natural life, with entropy as a driving force for change and movement. (Atheos encourages those of his followers who fear death to instead seek out reincarnation, with both forces of life and death being necessary for this). Atheos is, however, wary of Tharros’ drive to ultimate destruction, as he fears the effect that too much decay might have on the universe. As the shepherd and preserver of destroyed knowledge, he also worries that decay might wreak havoc on his library, while he finds Ishalla’s antipathy to civilization just as troubling.

Vortae is not a god. But he is something else, strange and ancient and powerful, and the God of Skepticism acknowledges this. As a sustainer of forgotten knowledge, Atheos is extremely interested in the sustainer of forgotten worlds, and seeks new ways to bring what Vortae preserves—or at least an archived list of what he contains—into existence (though he has so far had a bit of trouble figuring out how to ask for permission first).

Zodaxus is not a god. But he is a great, immortal magical creature of extraordinary power and skill, someone who may one day be able to help Atheos understand his own past. Atheos holds Freedom Zappers in higher regard than any other living creatures, often granting them more direct protection than he gives to evangelists of his own church. While Atheos acknowledges the positive influence of Zodaxus and his followers, he and the Church of Atheism treat the God of Freedom with incredulity, wondering how much of his work could really be accomplished by a “drunk magic owl” versus simple fortunate chance.


Male (Usually) Deity of Change and Chance, Transformation and Chaos
Atheos, God of Skepticism wrote:

I’ll look up those NPC gods later. Right now, Atheos’s favorite gods (and the ones he considers “friends”) are Vortae and Zodaxus, while his least favorite (and possibly “enemies”) are Scrapeknee and Michazra.

Yay, he made an impression...

err.. wait ;)

Quote:
Scrapeknee does not exist. Atheos acknowledges a troubling force for chaos that sometimes personifies itself. But Scrapeknee cares only for chaos, not change for the better, and Atheos regards him as a general spell of bad weather that the universe mysteriously suffers from. Scrapeknee is, a way, universe's “ultimate griefer,” and Atheos generally refuses to acknowledge his words, presence, or existence in any way.

I laughed at the "Ultimate Griefer" comparison. I hope he doesn't come across that way OOCly, or I may need to tone him down rather than ruin the actual play for anyone. That aside, I can see why Scrapeknee would annoy Atheos terribly. When ones subjective the other is objective, one is whimsy, the other logic. At least that's what I'm getting on their relationship (such as it is) let me know if you think that's about right.

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