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You are the heroes of the Licktoad Tribe, living legends after you triumphed against the terrible goblin cannibal Vorka and recovered many fireworks from her lair. Your tribe used the fireworks to great effect, but one day while you were out scrounging for more fireworks, adventurers came into the swamp and wiped out your tribe. You returned to your home to find it in ruins.
Now homeless, you have decided to travel to the closest tribe of goblins you know about—the Birdcrunchers. Maybe they’ll have room for you to join! Only, now that you’ve arrived in Birdcruncher territory, something seems wrong.
The Birdcrunchers appear unusually nervous and frightened,cowering around the entrance to their cave. They aren’t even trying to defend their territory. And now, a wrinkled old goblin with bulging eyes is waddling out of the crowd, approaching you. She’s obviously some sort of shaman—maybe even the chieftain. If anyone here knows whether or not you can join the tribe, it’d likely be her!
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The wrinkled old goblin woman who approaches has eyes bulging from her wrinkled face, and she walks hunched over, leaning on a gnarled wooden staff decorated with puppy tails and horse ears. She wears a ratty doghide gown cinched with a rope belt from which hang dog’s paws, a pair of horseshoes, a fearsomely large dead stirge, and the pickled and shrunken head of a bright blue mite.
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Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh says:
“Well, well! What have we here? Licktoads, by the look of you, and from what I hear, orphans as well, hmm? Looking for a new place to live, I suspect? Well, you might be in luck, because we need new blood. Our own chieftains have been... lacking... in chieftainish ways. We’ve been having problems lately with an ogre and his fire-breathing boars, you see, and any goblins capable of killing the boars and driving off the ogre... or driving off the boars and killing the ogre... or... or whatever—well, they’ll not only be welcomed into Birdcruncher territory with open arms. They’ll be made chieftains, one and all!”
With that, the gathered birdcruncher goblins suddenly animate into cheers and song. Eager and excited, they surge out of the cave to welcome their saviors, but suddenly freeze as the old woman shrieks out a command for silence. The goblins freeze in place, and she continues in a softer voice. “But we can’t just assume you’re the stuff chieftains are made of. You might just be lucky. No, no... before we accept you as our saviors and before you’ll even have a chance to face off against Pa Munchmeat and his pig... I declare we have a Chieftain Moot!”
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The gathered goblins erupt into cheers again, and you all know why—a Chieftain Moot is a day-long festival of games and dares, a tradition among the local tribes when the need to select a new chief arises. Those
goblins who want to be considered for the role must endure a number of trials during the moot, and if they survive and win, they earn the respect and support of the rest of the tribe.
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh barks a few orders, and the Birdcrunchers scurry off to start organizing the moot.
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh says:"Follow me you, haves a seat inside cave and warm feet at fire there whiles we waits for Chieftan Moot to start"
She then shuffles off inside the cave to wait for the preperations to finish.
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You get to spend a day and a night resting and preparing for the next day’s moot. Most of the Birdcrunchers spend the day preparing for the moot itself (and they’re unusually secretive, for goblins, about what types of dares and trials they’re readying).
That evening, a huge feast is held around the cave’s central bonfire. The feast consists almost entirely of various bird dishes—seagull soup, charred grackle, raven’s-eye pudding, vulture-ups, spicy sparrow poppers, and squeaky beakies are just a portion of the often-challenging dishes presented during the night.
The feast also gives you a chance to talk to the Birdcrunchers and learn a bit more about what’s going on in the region.
As darkness falls, Wise Mummy brings out the fabled Crunchy Crown of the Birdcruncher Tribe—a crown made out of bird skulls and bones and wings and twigs. She places the Crunchy Crown near the bonfire, then proclaims;
"Tomorrow, we Birdcrunchers will have a new chief!, and this one will be able to kick that ugly Munchmeat ogre out of Ravenroost!"
She then says:" Whomever off youz can prove his or her worth tomorrow at the moot will be granted the right not only to wear the Crunchy Crown, but also the right to loot the Chieftain’s treasure chest!".
At this, the Birdcrunchers oooh and ahhh appropriately.
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The next day after your arrival at the Birdcruncher tribe, the goblins are ready and eager to begin the moot. The chieftains-in-waiting (as the contestants are known) must endure three dares—the winner is the goblin who earns the most points across these three dares.
"You readies to show us who'd be new Chieftan?"
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The first dare takes place in a valley to the south of the birdcrunchers’ cave. The chieftains-in-waiting are led to the center of the valley, blindfolded, and given a short bow and three arrows each (each contestant’s arrows have fletching of a different color from those of the other contestants so the arrows can be identified after they’re shot).
The Birdcrunchers clamber into trees or sit on rocks that ring the valley while Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh explains the rules to the blindfolded contestants: She will release three cages of seagulls over the course of a minute, and the blindfolded goblins must shoot down as many of them as possible. The gulls in the first flock are worth 2 points, those in the second 4 points, and those in the third 6 points, but each consecutive flock is a bit farther away than the previous one, making it more difficult to notice.
This dare is more about luck than accuracy. As the dare begins, a few rounds of relative silence (punctuated now and then by goblin sounds) pass before the first cage is released. Wise Mummy swiftly dives to the ground, and each contestant must attempt a Perception check to determine by sound where the flock of panicked birds is flying, then attempt an attack roll to hit a seagull. Targeting the first flock with an arrow while blind requires a successful Perception check (DC 8)(this is not an opposed Perception check, and thus being blind does not modify the check), but distance is increasingly a factor with the following two flocks—a higher (DC 11)Perception check is needed to target the second flock, and an even higher (DC 14)successful check to target the third. A goblin who successfully targets a flock can attempt a normal attack roll to hit a seagull (AC 14, with a 50% miss chance) and score the appropriate number of points.
Reta chuckles as she hears the instructions. Reta like shooting bow. Reta like shooting birds. Reta like this challenge.
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Mogmurch grumbles about having to be blindfolded. "How this supposed to be true test of chief material?" he thinks to himself. But he really wants to be chief so he goes along with it.
After a minute or so, Mogmurch peaks out from under the blindfold and screams "Hey! You saids you'd send three sets of birdses! I only heards one! You lying to Mogmurch!?"
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On Reta's first attempt she shoots in the general direction of a seagull but the shots goes wild!. The shot is miraculous. It hits three seagulls at once.
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh is so delighted that she awards Reta 10 points!
Reta's second attempt also goes in the general direction of a bird but the shot comes dangerously close to hitting a goblin in
the crowd, resulting in shrieks.
Reta's last attempt also almost hits one of the goblins in the crowd.
Mogmurch's first attempt hits one of the closest seagulls and it goes down. After that he's so distracted by the shrieking goblins that he can't seem to find out where the seagulls went.
points:
Mogmurch: 2
Reta: 10
Poog:
Chuffy:
Poog eagerly joins in the fun, Poog wants to be Big Chief! Big chief for Zarongel!!
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Poog takes careful aim as soon as he hears a seagull and hit it's right in the wing..dropping it (2 points). But then the cheering from the other goblins distract him too much to pay attention of the sounds of flapping birds
Chuffy hit's his first bird (2 points)
Chuffy aims at the second bird but in a amazing turn of events has it bounces of the bird's skull (dropping it) hits another bird (dropping it as well) before it lands on the ground ..in a big snake. Dinner and a Show!. Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh is so delighted that she awards 10 points!
Chuffy aims correctly for his third shot..but being blindfolded makes it difficult to hit what he's aiming for getting him nothing for his troubles but insults.
points:
Mogmurch: 2
Reta: 10
Poog: 2
Chuffy: 10
Poog hits Mog over head with stick over head
No! Poog winz next!
He jumps up and down laughing at Mog
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Poog hits Mog over head with stick over head
No! Poog winz next!
He jumps up and down laughing at Mog
The weight of the blow knocks Mogmurch forward and sends his skull hat flying off his head. When he stands back up and retrieves it, a look of horror washes over his face. Slowly turning to Poog with a look of murder in his eyes, his says "You cracked Mogmurch's skull hat...YOU CRACKED MOGMURCH'S SKULL HAT!!! I KILLZ YOU! I KILLZ YOU! I KILLZ YOU 'TIL YOUZ DEADS!" And with that, he lunges at Poog and tackles him to the ground, screaming every curse he can muster at the cleric.
Poog wrestles back
Stupid hat anyway! Poog has better ones, Mogmurch hat stupid!
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The second dare takes the contestants and the crowd to the west, where a particularly low valley has subsided into a permanent swamp of nasty standing water. A failed attempt by the Birdcrunchers to build a bunch of huts on stilts left behind a haphazard arrangement of wobbly posts protruding from the boggy ground. The goblins have laid wooden planks across several of these posts, creating narrow bridges that stand 10 feet off the ground.
In this dare, the contestants all begin on the southern shore of the bog and are fitted with wide, clumsy, human boots. A single stirge on a 5-foot-long tether is tied to each of the red posts. The goal of this game is to kill as many stirges as possible (preferably by stomping, which qualifies as an unarmed strike, but any method of stirge killing is
allowed) without falling into the swamp below.
"Wise Mummy says:"You kill stirges now. Each stirge worth 2 points. Once all 12 stirges are dead,dare ends. Once you fall in mud, you not allowed to join in dare anymore. Dare ends when only one goblin left. Last goblin wins 5 points.
She then points at some human sized boots
Also you wear these now."
As soon as you all have put on your boots she pulls out a small stone out of a pocket and throws it on the ground. There is a loud noise and the race is on!
init
Chuffy
Poog
Reta
Mogmurch
Chuffy pulls out his hand crossbow, loads it and shoots at one of the stirges but he just barely misses the small flying creature tied to the post
Poog screams and yells in glee as he moves forward, he points to the air and does a little spin. For Zarongel!!!! he channels
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Reta hesitates for a bit and Mogmurch rushes in throwing a bomb
The stirge dies in the explosion when Mogmurch hits it (2 points)
Chuffy then tries to shoot his crossbow at another stirge (going for number 1) bringing it down
Reta draws her short bow and tries to shoot one of the striges (5) as well also shooting it down
7,8: 3 damage
3, 4 ,12: 0 damage
points:
Mogmurch: 4(2+2)
Reta: 12 (10+2)
Poog: 10
Chuffy: 12 (10+2)
init
Poog
Reta
Mogmurch
Chuffy
Poog takes a careful step forward, smirking and yelling as he channels again
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Picture of what the challenge looks like at some point
Finally, for the last dare, Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh leads the chieftains-in-waiting back toward the Birdcruncher cave—as they approach, the stink of rotten meat and spoiled milk grows. The scent comes from a horrific "pie” that’s been created in a 10-foot-diameter bowl-shaped depression in the rock—the bowl is only 18 inches deep, but filled with a nasty, not-quite-boiling-hot slurry of spoiled milk, mud, swamp water, mashed-up grass, and dead birds. The top is covered over with an incongruously delicious- and flakylooking pie crust. Several cauldrons of boiling pie filling sit nearby, along with a number of large, dented metal funnels.
Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh says "Giant birdmeat pie is still baking, and chieftains-in-waiting will all be tied up and placed in the pie to cook. You all is allowed to carry and wear all of your gear and equipment in this dare. First goblin to make it out of the pie earns 10 points. The second goblin earns 5 points. The third earns 3 points. Any contestants after the third earn no points at all. It not be easy to get out though, we throw in some birds in there as well. They will bite at you! They are not nice birds. They are worth 5 points each if you manage to kill one."
The four golden eagles that are going to join the goblins in the pie—these eagles have had their wings clipped so they can’t fly, but they’re very much alive and very angry at their predicament. Killing an eagle earns that goblin a bonus of 5 points, so a goblin who stays in the pie and comes out last can still come out ahead in points if he kills enough eagles.
With the rules explained, the contestants are lined up around the edge of the pie and have their wrists and ankles tied together. As Wise Mummy uses her last thunderstone, all contestants are pushed into the pie and must roll Initiative to determine their order in the dare.
For the purposes of this “combat,” you can assume that no real movement is going on—the pie is only 10 feet across, so no matter where the PCs are in the pie, they’re adjacent to any foes they might wish to attack. All of the contestants and all four eagles are treated as if they’re squeezing (–4 penalty on attack rolls, –4 penalty to AC) due to the cramped quarters. The eagles themselves flap and flop about and are tremendously agitated.
Escaping Bonds: A goblin has the grappled condition as long as her hands and feet are tied. A successful DC 18 Strength check or DC 22 Escape Artist check is needed to break free of the bonds—both are standard actions to attempt. A free goblin can untie another goblin’s bonds automatically as a standard action.
The Pie: The pie filling is quite hot, and as the contents slosh out, the goblins add fresh boiling foulness to the pie via the dented funnels. Each round a creature remains in the pie, it must succeed at a DC 10 Fortitude save or take 1 point of fire damage. An eagle that dies of pie burns earns no one points.
init
Chuffy
Poog
Mogmurch
Reta
Reta struggles ineffectively against her bonds, which angers her. She doesn't mind the warm sludge; though. It's like a goblin spa!
Reta continues to struggle with the bonds, beginning to employe her teeth in the fashion of her comrades.
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2 of them get burned a bit by the pie
Due to the burning pie they are in the eagles go wild, screeching and clawing everywhere one of them even almost manages to take out one of Reta's eyes.
Poog get's hit once
Chuffy get's missed
Mogmurch get's hit once as well
Reta get's a really nasty bite
init:
You guys
Eagles again
Still he struggles in vein to get loose
I must admit, this is a little tedious. If one person could actually escape, that would probably be different.