Welly, welly, welly, well. To what do I

owe this pleasure my bookie", boomed Jabba, as

Boba Fett went flying off to search for

Black Dragon Tea over in central China town.

Meanwhile, on Coruscant, that rat bastard Palpatine was

busy trying to hunt down some more Jedi.

He had developed a new plan that would

ensnare psychic energy in extra dimensional constructs so

as to lure the Jedi into the open

and to their doom. He tested the first

prototype on a Gungan who had been annoying

him with it's "Meesa do this" crap, but

being brain dead, Gungans have no psychic energy.

A simple wave of his hand was enough

to crush the annoying Gungan's skull. Unfortunately that

splashed Gungan juice all over his new robe

and the soybean-looking brain secretions of Gungans

are known to stain most terribly. This sent

him into a tizzy and he had to

order the execution of some rebel scum. Darth

Vader, one of his b~@#%es, carried out the

tray of Scoop Tostitos, along with a nice

guacamole, in a little sombrero bowl. Jalapenos topped

the spicy dish, but the Dark Side could

not properly digest spicy food without blowing holes

right through the fabric of time and space.

So Emperor Palpatine threw the spicy snack down

the reactor shaft, which produced a spicy blast

that blew out the airlock in Sector 7G.

Meanwhile in docking bay 327, the crew of

The Imperial Food Tranport ship, the Sysco Kid

felt the blast and began to dump their

flash frozen Halapeno Pepper pods from Nuevo Salmonillica

into the reactor core of the ship. Fumes

issued forth, stripping the hull plating off as

the lifters of the ship started juddering it

spread out into the decompressing cargo bay, gassing

a group of stormtroopers who failed blaster qualifications,

causing their shiny white armor to stain pink

and corrode. This displeased Lord Vader, who couldn't

stand poncey stormtroopers. "You are all assigned to

eternal kitchen police duty on the Cafeteria Planet

where you'll serve Gungan to Pizza the Hutt

three times a day, and clean up after

people half your age, because your scores ranked

below Greedo, and he had really bad shingles

all over his sneering visage. Solo decided he

didn't want to shoot first, so he let

Greedo pick up the check and he walked

over to a four breasted alien green alien