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Ambrosia Slaad, Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 11:50 AM

Xuttah wrote:

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Xuttah wrote:

Anti-Zombie safety message from the Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen

Yet another public safety announcement from McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario...

Six monthes after the attack on FGCU, University of Florida is now ready too.

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 11:54 AM

zombie post

Thread Zombie, Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 11:58 AM

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Six monthes after the attack on FGCU, University of Florida is now ready too.

*chews on slaad brains*

*slurgle!*

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 11:59 AM

Thread Zombie wrote:

*chews on slaad brains*

*slurgle!*

Naah, you're saying it wrong. Like this....brainnnnnnsssss

Ambrosia Slaad, Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 12:00 PM

Thread Zombie wrote:

*chews on slaad brains*

*slurgle!*

Ha HA! Mine had already been secretly replaced with circus peanuts and Folger's Crystals.

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 12:01 PM

Mmmmmm.......Folgers. I hear it's the best part of waking up.

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 12:05 PM

Day 4 -- Mid-day

Zombies still out there. Trying to think about how to drive them off. I tried blaring the new TV sitcom Boring at them at full volume. In case you haven't seen it, it's about a bunch of office workers doing what office workers do all day.

Oddly, the zombies seemed to identify with several of the characters. Most of them sat down and started typing on imaginary computers. One was looking at imaginary porn.

I saw one of them trying to photocopy the neighbours cat using the car trunk as a copier. That was almost funny until the 'paper' jammed. Poor cat.

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 12:07 PM

Day 4 -- Mid-day

Just ran out of milk. Not an emergency because I still have some Fat Free Cinnamon Vanilla Crème Liquid
Coffee Mate.

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 12:26 PM

puts on a policeman's uniform and knocks on the door

Excuse me, sir. We've had complaints from your neighbors.....

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 04:02 PM

Aberzombie wrote:

puts on a policeman's uniform and knocks on the door

Excuse me, sir. We've had complaints from your neighbors.....

Day 4 -- Evening

Man, there's a zombie at the door in a policeman's uniform. It looks like he's trying to say something but all I hear is "arrggh ... arr ... augggh ... arrraugghgggrrrr"

It's like there's some kind of primitive intelligence left in there.

Xuttah, Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 04:14 PM

Tarren Dei wrote:

It's like there's some kind of primitive intelligence left in there.

You're assuming there was any to start. ;)

Bran McChomperface, Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 05:34 PM

This works every time!

Oh, damn! I'm on fire now!

<Stops, drops, and rolls>

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 05:50 PM

Day 4 -- Nightfall

Primitive intelligence, indeed. I just saw a zombie stop-drop-and-roll. Fortunately, he rolled into a patch of other zombies.

Casper the Brain-Eating Ghost, Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 05:56 PM

*leaves Tarren's refrigerator open*

Xuttah, Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 06:12 PM

Casper the Brain-Eating Ghost wrote:

*leaves Tarren's refrigerator open*

Thankfully, this is Canada and it's warmer in the fridge.

Casper the Brain-Eating Ghost, Tue, Nov 3, 2009, 06:17 PM

*starts pouring Tarren's food onto the floor*

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 04:08 AM

Xuttah wrote:

Tarren Dei wrote:

It's like there's some kind of primitive intelligence left in there.

You're assuming there was any to start. ;)

Now now, don't start confusing zombies with kobolds. Unless, of course, you're talking about zombie kobolds, then it makes sense.

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 05:46 AM

Day 5 -- Morning

I must be losing my mind. Food poured all over the floor. Doors and windows unlocked. I must have done it while I was asleep. Maybe a subconscious death wish, my Thanatos. I thought I had a strong instinct for survival but perhaps at some level ...

Casper the Brain-Eating Ghost, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 05:48 AM

*turns off Tarren's circuit breaker*

William Shakespear, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 05:48 AM

Zombie cow!

Zombie

Cow!

Where are you goin'?

Tarren the Dungeon Master, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 05:50 AM

taig wrote:

<Looks at avatar>

Tarren Dei, you're not a human. Everyone knows that zombies only go after humans. You're perfectly safe. Look, I'm completely surrounded by zombies, and they're not bothering me.

Then, taig, how do you explain this ...

Spoiler:

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 05:51 AM

William Shakespear wrote:

Zombie cow!

Zombie

Cow!

Where are you goin'?

Was I just ninja'd by the bard by 2 minutes? ... Nah, I produced stats.

William Shakespear, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 06:02 AM

Tarren Dei wrote:

Was I just ninja'd by the bard by 2 minutes? ... Nah, I produced stats.

Nah...more like 400 years.

andLich, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 07:46 AM

Attempts one more shot with the Zombiepult™. Pulls lever. Zombiepult™ flips over and crushes andlich.

Thread Zombie, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 07:53 AM

*Uses William Shakespear as a battering ram against the front door*

*Gurgle*

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 07:56 AM

Maybe we should start playing the same song over and over. Something really depressing....

starts going through a collection of Alanis Morissette albums

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 08:09 AM

Aberzombie wrote:

Maybe we should start playing the same song over and over. Something really depressing....

starts going through a collection of Alanis Morissette albums

Day 5 -- Almost noon

Saw a zombie spinning an Alanis Morissette "Jagged Little Pill" around on its finger and trying to use its nail as a stylus. ... Where the hell did they find a vinyl record? Ah well, ...

I will prepare Xuttah's gift for retaliation should the creature ever find a record player.

Thread Zombie, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 08:12 AM

Aberzombie wrote:

Maybe we should start playing the same song over and over. Something really depressing....
starts going through a collection of Alanis Morissette albums

*Takes out boombox and blares Kenny G, Yanni and John Tesh music*

*Yurgle!*

andLich, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 08:12 AM

Pours some birdseed over a large "X" painted on the ground. Steps out of sight and waits.

taig (Paizo Superscriber), Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 08:14 AM

Tarren the Dungeon Master wrote:

taig wrote:

<Looks at avatar>

Tarren Dei, you're not a human. Everyone knows that zombies only go after humans. You're perfectly safe. Look, I'm completely surrounded by zombies, and they're not bothering me.

Then, taig, how do you explain this ...
** spoiler omitted **...

I explain that as...pretty damn awesome!

Government conspiracy! It's all stuff and nonsense.

Bran McChomperface, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 08:15 AM

I saw this on a movie once...

Callous Jack (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 08:19 AM

Bran McChomperface wrote:

<Holds boombox over head, playing "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel>

I saw this on a movie once...

lol

Xuttah, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 09:59 AM

Aberzombie wrote:

starts going through a collection of Alanis Morissette albums

So, you want to play the psychomologicamal warfare card, eh? Well, I'll see your Alanis Morisette: Naked and Crying collection and raise you either one of the two disks from Leonard Cohen: Live in London. BAM!

Crimson Jester, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 10:04 AM

andLich wrote:

Pours some birdseed over a large "X" painted on the ground. Steps out of sight and waits.

Oh yummy Bird seed.

Beep Beep

andLich, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 10:11 AM

Crimson Jester wrote:

andLich wrote:

Pours some birdseed over a large "X" painted on the ground. Steps out of sight and waits.

Oh yummy Bird seed.

Beep Beep

Tries to drop piano on unsuspecting Crimson Jester. Instead, a boulder crushes andLich

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 12:09 PM

Day 5 -- Mid-afternoon.

I'm out of coffee. Time to get out of the house.

Casper the Brain-Eating Ghost, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 12:15 PM

*breaks coffee maker*

This ought to make sure he has to go out for it. Heh heh heh.

Dread Lord Zombie, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 12:16 PM

Tarren Dei wrote:

Day 5 -- Mid-afternoon.

I'm out of coffee. Time to get out of the house.

*hides in bushes ready to jump an unexpecting Tarren*

Xuttah, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 12:25 PM

Tarren Dei wrote:

Day 5 -- Mid-afternoon.

I'm out of coffee. Time to get out of the house.

Nooooo! Call the Timmies armoured car service!

BTW Tim Horton's is so badass that it has a location in Afganistan on the Canadian military base. Their coffee also doubles as holy water.

Callous Jack (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 01:14 PM

Xuttah wrote:

BTW Tim Horton's is so badass that it has a location in Afganistan on the Canadian military base. Their coffee also doubles as holy water.

Bah, Dunkin' Donuts is way better than TH!

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 01:20 PM

Day 5 -- Late Afternoon

Been to the garage. No zombies there.

I've looked the 2010 Chevrolet Cobalt Sedan over. She's got gas and ready to go. Not the best vehicle for plowing through zombies with. I only bought it because of the kobold/Cobalt etymological connection. Dumb. I should have bought a Nissan Rogue.

Must be something in this garage I could use to make my ride more zombie-proof ...

Casper the Brain-Eating Ghost, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 01:29 PM

*siphons all the gas out of Tarren's car*

Xuttah, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 01:47 PM

Callous Jack wrote:

Bah, Dunkin' Donuts is way better than TH!

And exactly how many Dunkin' Donuts are there assigned to combat zones in the Middle East? Wuzzat? None? Thought so! :P

Callous Jack (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 01:54 PM

Xuttah wrote:

Callous Jack wrote:

Bah, Dunkin' Donuts is way better than TH!

And exactly how many Dunkin' Donuts are there assigned to combat zones in the Middle East? Wuzzat? None? Thought so! :P

That's because Tim Hortons is viewed as expendable!

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 02:28 PM

sits back and waits for the foolish living things to finish with their fight over who makes better coffee

Xuttah, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 02:54 PM

Callous Jack wrote:

That's because Tim Hortons is viewed as expendable!

No, it's because we Canucks are fearless in the face of mortal foes. When you've face the limitless hordes of the living dead with nothing but a hockey stick and Hudson's Bay blanket, there's nothing in the Middle East that holds any terror for you.

Aren't you going to promote Callous Jack Brand coffee and donuts? What are the zombie slaying potentials for that brand? :)

Bran McChomperface, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 03:29 PM

Um, hey guys, he just drove away.

You've all got the reaction times of, well, zombies.

Kobold Cleaver, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 04:06 PM

Bran McChomperface wrote:

Um, hey guys, he just drove away.

You've all got the reaction times of, well, zombies.

And to think I wasted all that time putting huge flashing red lights on the car, too...

Holy Warrior, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 04:14 PM

Huzzah! He escaped! My efforts were not entirely in vain! Praise be to Pelor!

Kobie, KC's #1 Buddy, Wed, Nov 4, 2009, 04:16 PM

Thanks to me and KC's cleaver!

Yippee!

*slash*slash*