paizo.com - Titanic Games / Messageboards / Paizo Community / Off-Topic Discussions / Zombies!

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 08:41 PM

Aaaah! There's zombies on my doorstep. What should I do?

David Wickham (Pathfinder Chronicles Superscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber), Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 08:44 PM

Throw something at them.

Peebo, Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 08:45 PM

run around in a zig zag pattern flailing your arms, zombies are slow and stupid!

Peebo :D

Heathansson, Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 08:48 PM

here you go.

the DZA (Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, GameMastery Cards Subscriber), Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 08:59 PM

Rule #4: Double-tap. You think it's dead? One more makes a 100% sure.

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 08:59 PM

Heathansson wrote:

here you go.

I don't have time to read all that! The house is surrounded.

Anyone else witnessing the dawn of the dead?

Heathansson, Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 09:00 PM

It's not my fault you don't know how to install and operate a claymore!
Learn how to speed read!

Ambrosia Slaad, Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 09:04 PM

Tarren Dei wrote:

Heathansson wrote:

here you go.

I don't have time to read all that! The house is surrounded.

Anyone else witnessing the dawn of the dead?

Tell them that you're a politician, so you've got no brains to give. Then point them to a house a block down. When they leave, run like hell.

- or -

Stare into the bathroom mirror and say "Chuck Norris" three times. After he kicks your ass into next week, he'll happily finish off the zombies.

Davi The Eccentric, Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 09:05 PM

Let's see, do you have an array of plants set up to fend off the oncoming hoard?

David Wickham (Pathfinder Chronicles Superscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber), Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 09:14 PM

Do the wolves owe you a favor? You did let them eat that pig you were watching...

Casper the Brain-Eating Ghost, Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 09:19 PM

Just take a nap. It will all be over quickly.

Can I Call My Guy Drizzt?, Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 09:49 PM

Peebo wrote:

run around in a zig zag pattern flailing your arms, zombies are slow and stupid!

Peebo :D

I think that only works for zombie crocodiles

Xuttah, Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 10:47 PM

Grab as much food as you can, run upstairs, fill the bathtub, and take an axe to your stairs. That'll buy you time to consult your Zombie Survival Guide.

Kobold Cleaver, Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 11:00 PM

Grab your best weapon and lock yourself in the bathroom with food. Pray for a tornado.
Or, best yet, simply call the police.

Sharoth (Pathfinder Chronicles Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Planet Stories Subscriber), Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 11:01 PM

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Grab your best weapon and lock yourself in the bathroom with food. Pray for a tornado.
Or, best yet, simply call the police.

Or you could send out the kobolds. After all, who cares if a few kobolds get eaten by zombies.

Kobold Cleaver, Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 11:05 PM

Sharoth wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Grab your best weapon and lock yourself in the bathroom with food. Pray for a tornado.
Or, best yet, simply call the police.

Or you could send out the kobolds. After all, who cares if a few kobolds get eaten by zombies.

Control Undead!
Now, kill the funny white dragon!

Sharoth (Pathfinder Chronicles Charter Superscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Planet Stories Subscriber), Sat, Oct 31, 2009, 11:15 PM

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Sharoth wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Grab your best weapon and lock yourself in the bathroom with food. Pray for a tornado.
Or, best yet, simply call the police.

Or you could send out the kobolds. After all, who cares if a few kobolds get eaten by zombies.

Control Undead!
Now, kill the funny white dragon!

~waves my hand dismisively~ Control Kobold. ~wicked, toothy smile~ Now tell the undead to turn on you.

P.S. - Will you be able to attend PaizoCon 2010? Just wondering.

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 04:56 AM

Not much sleep last night. Barricaded self in house. Zombies clawed at door like puppy. Zombie puppy clawed at door too. Will post more later.

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 05:13 AM

You know, it's only a matter of time before we get you. Our victory is inevitable. Just let us in. Join us. What have you got to lose?

One of us. One of us. One of us.

The zombie horde: winning with the crushing weight of numbers since 1968.

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 05:16 AM

Aberzombie wrote:

The zombie horde: winning with the crushing weight of numbers since 1968.

I've got pretty strong doors.

Humans: barely staying alive with Home Depot since 1978.

taig (Paizo Superscriber), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 06:02 AM

Tarren Dei, you're not a human. Everyone knows that zombies only go after humans. You're perfectly safe. Look, I'm completely surrounded by zombies, and they're not bothering me.

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 06:06 AM

taig wrote:

<Looks at avatar>

Tarren Dei, you're not a human. Everyone knows that zombies only go after humans. You're perfectly safe. Look, I'm completely surrounded by zombies, and they're not bothering me.

Pssst ... taig ... you aren't really a particularly ugly badger. That's just your avatar.

taig (Paizo Superscriber), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 06:19 AM

Tarren Dei wrote:

taig wrote:

<Looks at avatar>

Tarren Dei, you're not a human. Everyone knows that zombies only go after humans. You're perfectly safe. Look, I'm completely surrounded by zombies, and they're not bothering me.

Pssst ... taig ... you aren't really a particularly ugly badger. That's just your avatar.

Well, I guess that means I'm going to have a difficult time burrowing into the ground to escape. Yeep!

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 06:28 AM

taig wrote:

Tarren Dei wrote:

taig wrote:

<Looks at avatar>

Tarren Dei, you're not a human. Everyone knows that zombies only go after humans. You're perfectly safe. Look, I'm completely surrounded by zombies, and they're not bothering me.

Pssst ... taig ... you aren't really a particularly ugly badger. That's just your avatar.

Well, I guess that means I'm going to have a difficult time burrowing into the ground to escape. Yeep!

Man! Some people should really look away from the monitor more.

Kobold Cleaver, Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 09:07 AM

Aberzombie wrote:

You know, it's only a matter of time before we get you. Our victory is inevitable. Just let us in. Join us. What have you got to lose?

One of us. One of us. One of us.

The zombie horde: winning with the crushing weight of numbers since 1968.

The kobold horde: Winning with the crushing weight of our numbers (and collapsing wall traps)since 1970.
Anyways, kobold fortifications are easily match for mindless zombies.

Xuttah, Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 09:58 AM

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

You know, it's only a matter of time before we get you. Our victory is inevitable. Just let us in. Join us. What have you got to lose?

One of us. One of us. One of us.

The zombie horde: winning with the crushing weight of numbers since 1968.

The kobold horde: Winning with the crushing weight of our numbers (and collapsing wall traps)since 1970.
Anyways, kobold fortifications are easily match for mindless zombies.

As for creating undead, Kobolds prefer to animate skeletons. That way, you can still strip the meat off for food before creating your undead hordes. Sort of a two for one deal. :)

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 10:04 AM

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The kobold horde: Either fleeing in terror or accidently winning with a few collapsing wall traps and lots of luck since 1970. And we're still not as good at mining as dwarves.

Fixed that for you...

Ambrosia Slaad, Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 10:15 AM

Aberzombie wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The kobold horde: Either fleeing in terror or accidently winning with a few collapsing wall traps and lots of luck since 1970. And we're still not as good at mining as dwarves.

Fixed that for you...

This seems like fun:

The kobold horde: When you can't afford to hire kender or gully dwarves, there's always kobolds.

The kobold horde: Because there are some things even otyughs won't eat.

The kobold horde: No brains means they're immune to the zombie horde. :)

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 10:19 AM

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The kobold horde: Either fleeing in terror or accidently winning with a few collapsing wall traps and lots of luck since 1970. And we're still not as good at mining as dwarves.

Fixed that for you...

This seems like fun:

The kobold horde: When you can't afford to hire kender or gully dwarves, there's always kobolds.

The kobold horde: Because there are some things even otyughs won't eat.

The kobold horde: No brains means they're immune to the zombie horde. :)

I knew there was a reason I liked you....

Ambrosia Slaad, Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 10:22 AM

Aberzombie wrote:

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

This seems like fun:

The kobold horde: When you can't afford to hire kender or gully dwarves, there's always kobolds.

The kobold horde: Because there are some things even otyughs won't eat.

The kobold horde: No brains means they're immune to the zombie horde. :)

I knew there was a reason I liked you....

You're only interested in my brains, not my body. {pouts}

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 10:23 AM

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:

You're only interested in my brains, not my body. {pouts}

I could gnaw off a few fingers, if that would make you feel better.

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 10:27 AM

DO NOT FEED THE ZOMBIES!

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 10:30 AM

Mmmmmm........

andLich, Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 10:30 AM

......brainnnnssss.

Xuttah, Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 11:07 AM

From a recent Zombie Rights protest:
"What do we want?"
"Braaaaainsssss...."
"When do we want them?"
"Brainsssssnssss..."

Moorluck (Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 11:19 AM

Zombies showed up at my house last night, I shot them all while waiting for the TorTers..... why are the cops surrounding my house? ;)

Kobold Cleaver, Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 11:56 AM

Aberzombie wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

The kobold horde: Either fleeing in terror or accidently winning with a few collapsing wall traps and lots of luck since 1970. And we're still not as good at mining as dwarves.

Fixed that for you...

Kobolds: Having a +2 to mining since 3rd edition. Unlike a certain dwarf race which shall remain unnamed.

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 03:10 PM

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Kobolds: Having a +2 to mining since 3rd edition. Unlike a certain dwarf race which shall remain unnamed.

I guess that's why all those campaign worlds are always having legendary, lost kobold kingdoms instead of dwarven ones. Oh, wait....

Holy Warrior, Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 04:07 PM

Turn undead, obviously!

taig (Paizo Superscriber), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 05:53 PM

Tarren Dei wrote:

DO NOT FEED THE ZOMBIES!

Thanks for the advice. I didn't give them any of my Pecan Sandies.

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 06:16 PM

Almost 24 hours since the zombies came calling. None have gotten in yet; my Farley Windows Double Tilt Sliders are pretty strong. I don't dare to open them. I'm still praying they won't. Hopefully they'll die off before much longer.

Just in case, I've tied my Forschner Fibrox 10-in. Butcher Knife with a Granton Edge to the blade of my Sher-Wood Feather-Lite 5030 SC Goal Stick with my Calvin Klein Vintage Inspired Men's Fashion Belt. That should help.

Can't stay online. Have to go stare out the windows with a panicked look on my face.

taig (Paizo Superscriber), Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 06:19 PM

I've called in a nuclear strike where you are. That should get rid of the zombies.

You can thank me later.

Infernal Healer, Sun, Nov 1, 2009, 06:31 PM

Tarren Dei wrote:

Almost 24 hours since the zombies came calling. None have gotten in yet; my Farley Windows Double Tilt Sliders are pretty strong. I don't dare to open them. I'm still praying they won't. Hopefully they'll die off before much longer.

Just in case, I've tied my Forschner Fibrox 10-in. Butcher Knife with a Granton Edge to the blade of my Sher-Wood Feather-Lite 5030 SC Goal Stick with my Calvin Klein Vintage Inspired Men's Fashion Belt. That should help.

Can't stay online. Have to go stare out the windows with a panicked look on my face.

This whole thread was started so that you could sell ad space wasn't it?

Sell out.

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Mon, Nov 2, 2009, 03:19 AM

Tarren....! Let us in Tarren! Become one of us....

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Mon, Nov 2, 2009, 04:34 AM

Day 3 since the Zombies.

Aberzombie wrote:

Tarren....! Let us in Tarren! Become one of us....

1d20 - 1 ⇒ (6) - 1 = 5

Missed.

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Mon, Nov 2, 2009, 05:57 AM

Mmmmm......

andLich, Mon, Nov 2, 2009, 05:57 AM

.....brainnnsss.

Tarren Dei (RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8), Mon, Nov 2, 2009, 06:38 AM

andLich wrote:

.....brainnnsss.

1d20 - 1 ⇒ (14) - 1 = 13

Got one!

1d4 - 1 ⇒ (4) - 1 = 3

Day 3 -- Morning.

I got one with my hockey stick come slashing thing. It didn't seem to care but at least I know the knife is sharp enough. I'm going to go into the basement to lift some weights. I'll probably do better without the strength penalty.

Aberzombie (Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Companion Subscriber), Mon, Nov 2, 2009, 06:46 AM

knocks on door

Candygram for Mongo!

taig (Paizo Superscriber), Mon, Nov 2, 2009, 06:51 AM

Hmmm, I guess the nuclear strike didn't hit your area. I wonder where it went instead...