What is your Best Character Backstory in 15 words or less?

[Bill Nye 924]

Sometimes things can be more entertaining with fewer words. As the title says, What is your favorite backstory for a character you've had, whether for humorous reasons or just because it was a good backstory. Feel free to explain it afterwords if you want, but try to condense it at first just for fun :D

[LittleMissNaga]

Former high priestess of Norgorber reincarnated as innocent cutesy gnome.

No reason to be alarmed.

[Laird IceCubez]

Got bit by 6 different types of vampires.

GM allowed this character. He regrets it.

[Moonheart]

Psychic faking to be a wizard to avoid people to become scared of her abilities.

Aka miss "I assure you that this headache and nosebleed you have is nothing related to me! Excuse me, I need to go study my spellbook for a moment..."

[Volkard Abendroth]

Wrath of the Righteous: Son of Aroden and Iomedae

[Pomeroy Toussaint]

I try to channel The Brightness, but mostly get dead people.

[Klorox]

a mighty wizard with psionics preparing for kingship.

[BENSLAYER]

"Crotchety, wannabe deity killer that might actually have a chance through sheer stubbornness and ire."
"Born a pawn, desires the mundane, defies the divine as a calling."
"The anti-murder hobo - unless they are celestials."
"Calm and collected - until the rampage. Cold fury is more terrifying than fiery fury."

They are all for the same character, I could not decide which was most fitting. xD

[Isaac Zephyr]

"Terrible Drow Spider-Man escapes Darklands. Is excellent assassin but refuses to kill anyone."

"Kobold assassin sent to kill Drow Spider-Man. Becomes best friend."

"Gambler gets eyes stolen to pay debts. Becomes divination wizard. Always sees it coming."

Edit: Had another one for the wizard!

"Divination wizard gives up Transmutation and Conjuration. Still somehow a buffs mage."

[O. N.]

"Local magus searches for lost arcanist mother, smashes runelords with Carlos the morningstar on the way."

"Country bumpkin wizard loses both a millenia of history and own body, runs away, accidentaly joins the Rebellion."

I've had other characters, but they've died too soon to do this.

[roguerouge]

"I got kicked out of wizard academy, embarrassing my paladin step-father. I swear it was just anti-goblin racism."

[Serisan]

For my Starfinder character: "Convinced his being kidnapped was just the beginning of a new season of Planetary Survivor."

For my proposed Preservationist Alchemist: "He wants to be the very best, like no one ever was."

[blahpers]

For sale: baby shoes. Never worn.

---

"And here you see the tomb of Vizier Tushratta--um, has anyone seen Vizier Tushratta?"

[The Sideromancer]

At one point, there was a challenge to make an extremely weird party.
"Left for undeath by a vampire. Spent the last 200 years beekeeping"
"Raised in a formal church, discovered Cayden was more exciting"

[Boxarox]

People called me dumb but now they are nice. I save them from bad monsters.

[Nonnie Kaneis]

I killed my friend when we were drunk. Now he's with me all the time.

[Quentin Coldwater]

Barbarian wants to become more civilised, ironically grows more monstrous instead.

This was my PFS experiment that went remarkably well. I started with a level of Barbarian, then went into Alchemist. I originally only wanted to dip, but Alchemist became sweeter and sweeter. Eventually it became an Alchemist with a Barbarian dip, rather than the other way around. Anyway, the backstory I made was that she wants to join civilisation and distances herself from her Barbarian roots by picking up levels of Alchemist. Then I gave her extra arms and a second head, and started using Monstrous Physique. I like the irony at work.

[Bruno Breakbone]

Bruno grapple.

[VoodistMonk]

This isn't where I parked my car!

[Darigaaz the Igniter]

First thing I remember is waking up next to a coconut. An UGLY coconut.

[Lem Wayluck]

I was found unworthy by Druids, so I became Golarion's greatest Naturalist to prove them wrong.

[Tim Emrick]

"Ever since I was apprenticed to a dwarf brewer, I prefer Cayden's temples to Sarenrae's." (My Qadiran rogue who started with Fortified Drinker, and later dipped cleric.)

"I am the living rock who guards the tombs of my ancestors." (Scarab Sage oread brawler/living monolith.)

"How will they know I study the stars if I don't wear as many as I can?" (Heavens shaman in home game, who advertises his profession as a fortune teller by covering his skin and robes with stars and astrological signs.)

[MuddyVolcano]

1. I was sculpted from mud, left half-finished in a pie pan. The gods' children forgot to apologize.

2. This axe is my father.

Don't you mean, your father's?

I smiled.

3. I came from dragons.

No, the other end. I come to fertilize the faith of disciples.

4. I was birthed from a volcano. After that, life cooled a bit.

5. Love never dies. My parents, my children, are still with me.

Aren't you a necromancer?

...yes.

[Dajur]

Paladin rides into town. Shoots all who need to be shot. Rides outta town.

[UnArcaneElection]

Laird IceCubez wrote:

Got bit by 6 different types of vampires.

GM allowed this character. He regrets it.

Sounds like this really came back to bite the GM in the rear . . . .

[Laird IceCubez]

UnArcaneElection wrote:

Laird IceCubez wrote:

Got bit by 6 different types of vampires.

GM allowed this character. He regrets it.

Sounds like this really came back to bite the GM in the rear . . . .

It was for a joke campaign to kill time since one of our usual players couldn't make it for our usual campaign, so we ran a monster campaign.

Enter Venn Pyre: a dhampir with 6 different vampire templates.

[ohako]

spurned tielfing wreaks havoc with hair shaped like sewing instruments

[Cole Deschain]

My "young mothers two-pack":

Single mom works as magic cop, teaches child magic on the side. This is from that Riddleport Watch campaign thread

Woman only remembers she had a child after finding the altar she sacrificed her on. This would be part of my Strange Aeons Occultist's "gap year. FUN!

Other AP PCs:

George Smiley called, he wants his schtick back. War for the Crown

Man sets out to make sure no one has the same awful childhood he did. Curse of the Crimson Throne

Monsters attack man for no reason, so he gives them a reason. Rise of the Runelords

[Andostre]

Redneck dwarf berserker decides maybe druids have the right of it. Also: befriends a coonhound.

Emus Graymullet: multi-class barbarian/druid and Skeeter, his animal commpanion

[JoCa]

Former "black-ops" soldier "reincarnated" as a somewhat blind reluctant healer.

[Dieben]

He murdered my wife. Resurrection failed. She loved this city. Vigilantism- this tailor's new calling.

[Dastis]

That 70's show Leo but with spells and a pet owlbear

[DeviantDesign]

Fake it 'till you make it con artist street magician actually learns how to spellcast.

[45ur4]

Wood oracle lame-cursed, captain of SteamQest vessel, navigating the cursed sands of demon-gated deserts

[MageHunter]

The voice in my head drove me crazy and paranoid. Then I learned they're real.

Rage Prophet with Bones Mystery and Spirit Guide Archetype

[ParcelRod]

Aasimar Oracle leaves mother because perceived burden on her. Mother dies showing unconditional love.

[Rednal]

Tiefling Warlock Noble dislikes unkind family, worships goddess of paradoxes, crosses ocean to new continent.

[Magus Black]

"The greatness story begins with a bottle of Jack and a pair of loaded dice."

[UnArcaneElection]

Sylph Oracle, exiled from Rahadoum -- not for casting divine spells, but for his unbearable flatulence.

[RedHydra]

Mythic Lawful Good Antipaladin

[keerawa]

By day she's a minor Taldan noble and barrister of, *coughs* Abadar. By night ...

[Marco Polaris]

Giant enraged Amish man murders a%+&#&%s, heads west to do their labor as penance.

It was a Deadlands game.

[GodsBlister]

Accidental holy gun aasimar gets reincarnated into a halfling.

[maouse]

Melf the Elf, was himself, an Elf.

(this was in 1983. Silly old elf with a golden toothpick that changed into a magic sword, started his own tree community and retired rich)

[Paradozen]

I am become parade, walker of worlds.

The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker, all of us fighting crime.

[thaX]

Venture Captain Lemtwist Bratham Mallentwine Flannelfoot Smyth Olgen Jeebs Nathers Bingham the Third... I'ma Sparker. (that's fifteen words, right?)

I am Grog. This is my Scyth. This lifemate, Oomph. Son, Oops. Daughter, Uh Oh.

Halfling deposited on table. "He's your problem now!" Has green grease paint on hands and face. "I'm a Goblin!!"

"Aye Oh... It's Me, Evelyn." Nice grrl with Pink hair. "I have my Wayfinder, Seeeeeeeeeeee." (Beginning spoofing Baulder's Gate character Imowen)

Bird person monk that denotes "Ka" behind every sentence. Ka.

"Hello. I'm Randoff Scott." Smile.

You see a robed person with a journal and readied pen. "Charles Hesterfield Ravenfjorde. And you are...?"

[Eternal Havok]

"Woman with Sociopathic tendencies has lover's soul bonded to her fractured soul after failed ritual."

Turns out watching your lover die in your arms while in the presence of a powerful Outsider does a number on your mental state....

[Adjoint]

"I was a hobo, but a stray cat made me a wizard." (Spirit Whisperer of Slums)

"I inspire people by shouting at them. Got a problem with that?" (Bard/Drill Sergeant)

[Serisan]

thaX wrote:

"Hello. I'm Randoff Scott." Smile.

Mandatory Blazing Saddles clip.