By pizza Lords command!
A separate table of just crate contents.
If a zero result happens it's an empty crate.
Negative results caused by cursed artifacts or rare defects means it contains 2D4 stasis boxes full of antimatter. These things always have warnings mirror written in common. "!yadsmood llit nepo ton oD" and "!regnaD"
Crate Table
1: 500 self sealing stem bolts.
2: Spool of power cable. Half a mile.
3: Roll for 1 random technological device, there are 3D6 of them in here.
4: 40 blank memory crystals, packed separately.
5: A tangle of wires and cables.
6: Full of spare robot parts.
7: Packs and packs of instant water.
8: Full of MREs. Meals ready to eat.
9: Was full of protean bars. Now it contains an angry rat swarm.
10: Full of emergency medical kits.
11: Full of D cell batteries, now with strange matter.
12: Lots of flashlights without the D cells to power them.
13: Big bags of charcoal and powdered lime to recharge the air purifiers.
14: Advanced glow sticks. They glow brighter and longer than normal, and every color possible. That includes puke green and blood red.
15: Pens, notebooks, ink erasers, normal erasers, rulers, plastic stencils, colored pencils, and several pencil sharpeners. Also one each hole puncher, stapler, box of staples, and a protractor.
16. Crate assembly and disassembly instructions.
17. Styrofoam peanuts protected by bubblewrap. 10% chance that someone (or something) has already popped all the bubblewrap, even if the crate was sealed...
18. A samophlange (3 1/4 inch).
19. Packs of disposable gloves (latex or non-latex).
20. Rolls of toilet paper (single ply).
21. Parts to build two mannequins, on male and one female form (race or species optional).
22. Dice, in all shapes, colors, and denominations (no d100s though). Standard sizes. Can function as marbles to discourage pursuit or as caltrops (non-lethal) if d4s are predominantly used.
23. Asbestos-based cannisters of spray foam insulation.
25. Spider webs with an old cocoon.
26. Personal datapads.
27. Hazmat suit with breathing apparatus.
28. Degreaser.
29. Packs of syringes, gauze, and alcohol swabs.
30. Handheld X-ray device.
31. Disassembled furniture & untranslatable (even with magic) assembly instructions.
32. Long-expired fireworks. 50% chance to do nothing when lit, 25% explode immediately, 25% work as they're supposed to. Craft (alchemy) can tell the difference in advance.
33. Cans of paint. 25% chance they have leaked and are now mostly solid.
34. Containers of solvents. The smell will be eye-watering at least and may be indescribable.
35. Fabric or plastic flowers.
36. Lawnmower blades.
37. Simple two-way communication headsets. Short range.
38. Stacks of styrofoam or plastic disposable cups.
39. Blast vests in bright, neon orange or yellow.
40. A beach-ball sized black sphere with an infinity symbol on one side (or an 8 if you look at it from a different angle). A viewing window reveals answers to yes or no questions if the ball is rolled or spun as they are asked. The interior contains a tasty, but toxic liquid which contains the blood of oracles. The device has a 40% of being right (just coincidentally), but 10% of the time the outlook is hazy, requiring you to ask again later.
41. The luggage that you lost on your last transport. It was shipped here somehow.
42. Packs of clean, serviceable underwear.
43. Welding torches.
44. Rolled up cot mattress.
45. A full drum set.
46. A disassembled crib for an infant.
47. Laser guns. No energy cells, but when powered they imprint and lock to the first user's palm and fingerprint ID, preventing others from using it without advanced reprogramming.
48. Lighting tubes (flourescent or not). Can double as fragile swords or, with imagination, as energy blades, but not really.
49. An advanced polymer riot shield.
50. Personal shaving kits, consisting of a small mirror and shaving foam with a medicinal, though brisk scent. A good-quality razor is included in each kit. (The kind with five separate blades. The first blade sings softly to the whisker, lulling it into a false sense of security. The second blade sneaks up from behind and holds the whisker in place. The third blade preps the whisker for surgery. The fourth blade cuts the whisker. The fifth blade counsels the whisker and gives it a hug.)
51:Emergency supplies. It's just generic paper towels and a rake.
52:A stack of junk mail addressed to occupant, an electronic hitch hiking thumb, 8 towels, and the electronic book/datapad The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
53: Schrodinger's Crate. When you open it, there is a 50%-50% chance of a live or dead cat inside. No matter what you take out or put in, if you close it and open it, there is a live or dead cat inside.
54: Inside the crate is a slightly smaller crate. This continues, till finally, there is a small block of wood inside of the middle, smallest, crate.
- scary thought. How would you make bars out of proteans? Why? And what effect would consuming chaotic outsiders have on rats?
Anyway,
55: Reams of blank paper.
56: Multiple layers of packaging surrounding a single electronic part the size of a finger.
57: Blankets.
58: Half of a coffee making machine.
59: Thin plastic or latex gloves.
60: Cleaning products.
53: Schrodinger's Crate. When you open it, there is a 50%-50% chance of a live or dead cat inside. No matter what you take out or put in, if you close it and open it, there is a live or dead cat inside.
10% chance there's a dead 1st-level commoner covered in tiny scratch marks as a warning.
61. An ivory-white wedding gown with flowing satin train and mother-of-pearl inlaid corset and veil. It's sealed in plastic, carefully wrapped, and obviously valuable
62. Two activated stainless steel cobras (treat as iron cobras but possibly mechanical rather than magically animated and immune to rust). The command word to activate and deactivate them, 'fragile', is written on the side of the crate for safety.
63. Four quality radial tires with sweet rims.
64. Duct tape. A whole crate of duct tape.
65. Stacks of sticky-backed placards that read 'Employees must wash hands before returning to work'.
66. An extremely well-made composite bow with ten high-quality arrows suitable for use in professional archery competition.
67. Janitor and custodial uniforms.
68. Cartons of smooth, natural-cut, unfiltered tobacco cigarettes ('Critical Strikes').
69. A collection of moths and butterflies, carefully labeled and displayed in glass cases. A journal and notebook belonging to a well-known lepidopterist details the specimens.
70. Crate of hit-or-miss novelty gag items; bullet hole and hairline fracture stickers for placing on windows or portholes, stickers resembling an air gauge with a needle pointing at 'full' for covering a real space suit or air tank gauge, antigravity fake vomit (when package is opened it generates lighter-than-air bubbles internally that makes it float as though in a weightless environment), replacement soles for magnetic boots that affect polarity when the wearer runs or charges, making them attracted to each other and tripping the wearer.
- scary thought. How would you make bars out of proteans? Why? And what effect would consuming chaotic outsiders have on rats?
Anyway,
I am a lousy speller and have to depend on spell check. Look at the context. If it was made out of chaotic outsider snakes it would make the eater insane.
71: Protean Bars. Made by harvesting meat from Cow Proteans(they regenerate, but they do feel pain), every bite carries a DC20 chance of causing temporary insanity. That's an hour of confusion.
72: Peanut Brittle and fun. 500 identical cans labeled peanut brittle.
1-Normal peanut brittle,2-Spring loaded "snakes in a can",3-Empty can, or 4-Real venomous green snake(DC 15, 1-4 con damage till you make the save)
73. Used, disposable syringes, needles, and medical waste with a biohazard warning. This crate was on its way to the incinerator or disposal site.
74. As 73 above, but only the top six inches is needles and sharps. The rest holds illicit narcotics or contraband being smuggled. An insider working at the incinerator or disposal site is meant to intercept and retrieve them prior to the crate's destruction.
75. A wet/dry vacuum, with wheels and various hose attachments. Has a 15 foot power cord.
76. Reenactment-quality swords of various types. Suitable for costuming and stage battles but in actual combat conditions will break or bend on a natural 1 to hit.
77. A sizable and valuable amount of gold and platinum wire on spools.
78. Ten pairs of athletic running shoes in five different sizes: two pairs of each size.
79. An instruction and guidebook for 'How to Host a Murder' party game. There are simple costumes, fake beards and mustaches, and wigs for various characters like the Doctor, Debutante, Professor, Explorer, Butler, etc. as well as a fake corpse.
10% there's a real murder victim's corpse instead, concealed in the crate by the killer.
80. Jars of bee honey (clover) with one jar of royal jelly.
83. Portable gravity generator. When bolted to a surface, creates a relative plane of gravity within a 10-foot radius with that surface as 'down'. (Requires helium; one balloon's worth per 10 minutes of use).
84. Ray-Ban® sunglasses, with autonomous targeting computer and mini-darts. Anyone other than the wearer aiming a ray weapon or casting a ray spell triggers an interrupting attack from the stylish shades, causing a distraction penalty to the attack or a concentration check if they hit. The targeting computer has a +10 to attack and doesn't provoke attacks of opportunity. The darts deal 1d4 damage and the sunglasses hold up to five mini-darts. The targeting computer is also programmed not to fire on other wearers of Ray-Ban® sunglasses.
85. A small, gray rubber alien with spindly limbs and a bulbous head. It appears to have been dissected, with oddly-shaped rubber 'innards' stuffed back into it. 'Property of Roswell' is written on a tag on the dummy's toe.
86. A cryogenically frozen head of an elderly human male wearing a black beanie resembling mouse ears. If somehow reanimated, he's xenophobic, but a really imaginative artist and cartoonist (if he somehow gets the ability to draw or sketch).
87. A small hydroponics set-up, suitable for a small garden.
88. Ammonia-based fertilizer, suitable for a small garden or home-made explosive.
89. A mini-fridge that works great when powered, but tends to cycle every 20 minutes or so, vibrating loudly.
90. Packages of still-viable yeast, suitable for baking or brewing beer.
93. Crate of ten experimental 'tanglefoot'-style grenades. One has detonated and filled the crate with a solid block of foam rubber-like material. The remaining grenades can be salvaged with patient digging and chipping to find them or an application of universal solvent
94. 2d4 vials of Ooze-a-matic Solvent. When poured onto an ooze, slime, or jelly of Small size or smaller it acts as a disruption effect (as the weapon property, DC 15). Against larger oozes, on a failed save they lose one size category permanently (or until they grow normally), including all ability changes for changing size. Against normal mold it acts as a fungicide in a 5 x 5 foot area.
17. Styrofoam peanuts protected by bubblewrap. 10% chance that someone (or something) has already popped all the bubblewrap, even if the crate was sealed...
18. A samophlange (3 1/4 inch).
19. Packs of disposable gloves (latex or non-latex).
20. Rolls of toilet paper (single ply).
21. Parts to build two mannequins, on male and one female form (race or species optional).
22. Dice, in all shapes, colors, and denominations (no d100s though). Standard sizes. Can function as marbles to discourage pursuit or as caltrops (non-lethal) if d4s are predominantly used.
23. Asbestos-based canisters of spray foam insulation.
25. Spider webs with an old cocoon.
26. Personal datapads.
27. Hazmat suit with breathing apparatus.
28. Degreaser.
29. Packs of syringes, gauze, and alcohol swabs.
30. Handheld X-ray device.
98. In the bottom of the crate is an attached Well of Many Worlds. The monsters have been dumping garbage in here for years, so the consequences of opening this vary with the plane it currently opens to. I'm starting a random plane topic so look for it.
99. Disassembled leather-padded pilot/captain's chair with surround sound speakers and cup holder.
100. Experimental rocket fuel cannisters. Effectively burns 5 times as long and does 3 times the damage of equivalent alchemist's fire if burned. Improves speed and thrust when burned by an appropriately fast-burning engine (other engines or devices tend to explode).
101.A big gun that shoots dice of any size. It energises the dice with symbolic resonance so the dice does the damage equal to an amount rolled on identical dice. If the maximum is rolled, the dice explodes doing another die of damage. If another max is rolled it does another of those dice damage, and so on. It can be mounted to the included tripod or a ships gun mount. Big, metal dice do structural damage. Note that it's powered by a power cable that attaches to a power supply, generator, or a spaceships power system.
102.A set of big, metal, dice. A D4, D6, D8, D10, D12, D20, and a D100.
Choking Hazard.
103.Books.300 books tightly packed. From here. The target thread contains 626 items and counting, so use D100, adding 100 the next few times, till you exceed the list and start over. Some books are unique and must be rerolled if they reoccur.
104. Pennants, flags, or banners from a family, house, government, or kingdom that no longer exists or is no longer in power.
105. Cases of locally-brewed beer. Depending on the beer's bottling, the crate, and its storage location, the beer may be good, warm, flat, or skunked and ruined.
106. The outfit of a little-known (but well-liked) vigilante, hero, or crimefighter who vanished long ago. Some tools of the trade are included as well as an experimental new gadget, device, or fighting move/maneuver with incomplete set of notes on its use.
107. The crate is packed tightly with what at first appear to be imprinted copper ingots but are, in fact, incredibly dense food rations, one of which could feed an entire family for a month. (Longer, if they don’t like their kids too well.)
109. One fully-assembled ark of the covenant, presumably an old 2D entertainment film prop. (Prop contains several gallons of sand; Hebrew instructions not included.)
110. Old sweaters. (Roll a d20 a dozen times to see how many if any fit you.)
111. Fifty cases of diet pills (one package opened with one bottle missing).
113. Returned 'recyclable' material. Not even goblins will touch it.
114. Sets of tools (screwdrivers, wrenches etc.) which fit no sizes/shapes of screws, nuts etc. known in your universe. Acceptable improvised weapons though.
115. Lighting fixtures.
116. Bags of powder labelled 'Dehydrated Troll'. Most have no use other than garden fertiliser, but one will turn into a troll given sufficient water and time.
While most crates are just 4 foot wide wooden cubes, they can be enlarged to fit odd contents. A Bobcat might require a 5 by 5 by 5 crate.
117.Full of jars of artisanal dill pickles, with rags as packing materials.
118.A short robot with tank treads, 2 robot arms, a head with a full sensory array, and some storage space in it's chest cavity. In it's head are 6 chip slots with one occupied by "Standard Assistance" which allows it to obey instructions given in common. It has 5 in one skill at a time, unless more specific chips are added.
119: Crate of crates. When this crate is opened there is a small crate inside. The inner crate cannot be opened until it is taken out. When it is taken out, it grows to full size and a new, small, random crate appears within.
120. Truly empty.
121: Full of coal.
122: ordinary rocks.
123: Cute, grey, ET figurines in cardboard boxes laced with heroine.
124: Dragon fossils individually wrapped in plaster.
125: Crate full of Twinkies. Peanut butter and pickle flavored. Goblins love them.
126. Ordinary rocks which someone has taken the time to paint an action comic strip upon. There are over 500 individual rocks, each with a panel of the story, akin to about a 100 page comic. There is no speech or dialogue, though each rock is incredibly expressive and, thankfully, numbered on one side.
If the entire collection is laid out visually and perused, it depicts the story of a gender-neutral space explorer piloting a ship to a planet and encountering environmental hazards, lost caverns and ruins, fighting off strange creatures and rescuing or romancing alien beauties of indeterminate species and gender, all while passing out toothpaste, toothbrushes, floss, and other dental hygienic products (the brand name, 'Sparkly Smile' is the only word ever visible in the entire story, probably a sponsor). Typically, the hero's success hinges on their use of the product or their perfect teeth, such as jamming a toothbrush into a gear to stop an ancient trap at a crucial moment, chewing through their bonds, or dazzling an alien princess with a smile.
If the entire collection is read (with no more than 4 stones missing or out of place), the reader is filled with a strong sense of courage at the incredible storytelling depicted and gains a +2 bonus to their next check to resist fear. A creature only benefits from this bonus once, unless they somehow lose all memory or recollection of having read the story and re-read it again later.
127. A case of 'Sparkly Smile' brand toothpaste, toothbrushes, dental floss and other oral care products. Suitable for dental hygiene and care.
Anyone having read the comic/advertisement from crate 126 above knows the proper use and application of the product for maximum effect. They receive a +1 equipment bonus to Bluff, Diplomacy, or Intimidate checks for 1 hour, as long as their clean teeth can be seen or are clearly displayed or visible.
128. A dozen 'Weenie Babies' toys (with tag). This was a failed line of collectible, plush toys that were stuffed with tiny, cocktail hotdogs instead of tiny plastic beans. Surprisingly, the doll keeps the hotdogs contents fresh and preserved, even after all this time. The line was rejected after testing revealed that children weren't always keen on 'gutting' or cutting open the dolls to get at the delicious contents and that accidental puncturing could spoil the contents. The outer casing of the toys rapidly deteriorates once pierced or opened.
Notable rare Weenie Babies found inside include Vienna the Pig, Brat the Dachshund (pronounced 'Brah't'), and Nathan the Wallaby, alongside the more common ones.
24:The printed out list of lists. Each item is itself a numbered list. There are even some lists, inside of lists, inside of a list, in the big list. You can see why pizza lord tried to skip over this crate.
129:Simple machines. A lever, fulcrum, 2 axles, 4 wheels, a wedge, and 2 pulleys. They are all in a mammoth fur bag of holding.
130:Contains one coffin. In the coffin is a skeleton with a wooden stake stuck through it's ribcage.
GM Notes: This is Dracula! If someone is stupid enough to remove the stake he will immediately reform, as thirsty and powerful as ever.
131. A coffin filled with earth. Inside, laying atop the gravedirt, is a manuscript titled 'Goth Guru's Lists'. It has a stake stuck through it... but to no avail. Roll again to determine what lies beneath the dirt.
132. Ceramic garden gnomes; smiley and cheerful... except for one... no one likes that one, but he always shows up.
133. A dead gnome... dressed up like a garden gnome. If raised he conjures a random magic item of equivalent value to the material component expended to raise him (cure light wounds potion if no appreciable component was used).
134. A list of bounty targets, four weapons, and four suits of armor. The tech level of the crate determines the list format (parchment, paper, datapad, etc.) and the tech level of the weapons and armor.
135. All those new checks you keep ordering from your bank that never showed up.
136.An odd flesh golem. The top of it's head is flat. It has a bolt sticking out of either side of it's neck. Stuffed in next to it among the wood shavings are notebooks describing surgical methods, devices for converting lightning into lifeforce, the spells repair and make whole, and everything else you need to know to bring life to dead flesh. While this is an advanced flesh golem, as soon as it's at full hits it becomes possessed by the scraps of spirits clinging to it's parts and only wants to kill and destroy.
Update: crate 129 I borrowed one (1) pulley until further notice.
137. Gyroscopic compass locator array. A fist-size gyroscope that links to the first creature that presses the red button on the side of it. Thereafter, it spins about but a marker arrow always points towards that person's direction regardless of their location on the planet, space, or plane. It spins aimlessly if they are protected from divination or such tracking or if they are on a different plane (though it will resume if carried onto the right plane or if the protections cease). It may be magical or technological, but either way it only functions for one month after being activated the first time, becoming a simple curio or trinket unless some method is devised to repower the magic or energy it uses.
138. A pair of tuxedos with tails, including top hats, canes, and tap shoes. One set is sized for a suitably large figure, possibly an odd flesh golem. The lyrics and sheet music to a song called 'Puttin' on the Ritz' by someone called Taco are tucked into the breast pocket of the smaller tuxedo jacket.
The GM can remove, add, or alter the contents as they see fit. I only added the pan balance because Odd Squad, in flashbacks, showed that there was originally one, before a villian destroyed it. You could even include a broken to pieces one if you like.
139. Piles of used, high-quality cloth napkins of fine silk and royal make (though any royal emblem and stitching identifying the family has been carefully removed. On extremely close examination, each napkin is missing approximately 5 threads from one edge, possibly from a prisoner slowly, over the years, harvesting tiny threads to weave a silken escape rope.
140. 2 claw hammers, 3 wooden mallets, 5 iron spikes, 47 nails, one 50-foot piece of rope with one foot demarcations along its length, and a pair of ankle spikes for climbing trees or poles.
*Note: GMs may not add, remove, or alter the contents of this crate until it has been opened in play in the presence of at least one PC.
143. A book whose jacket purports to sarcastically explain what 'irony' is, but then... it... does... not.
Or... does it?
144. A shipping manifest labeling the contents of this crate and their supposed powers: A cloak of Ælvenkind and a +1 ork bane longsword.
Their unfortunate spelling and botched creation means they are utterly useless unless you happen to be in a specific dimension or world.
145. A programmed illusion triggers when the crate is opened. The bottom of the crate appears to be a viewing port or window, looking down from a short height above a steamy shower where a classically beautiful elven man or woman is showering. Soap bubbles and the angle prevents any compromising views, but they wash and hum a faintly melodic tune as they clean. A short time later, as the elf leans back into the spray to rinse their hair, they glance upward and let out a very lady-like shriek (for both male or female). The bottom of the crate then goes black and within 1 round fades away revealing the normal bottom of the crate thereafter.
146. A magical (strong transmutation) 20,000+ piece 3D puzzle with no directions. When the correct pieces are put together, they magically bond, letting the user know they are correct.
Users must spend 1 hour and make a DC 11 Intelligence check to make any progress on the puzzle. It requires 100 successful hours to complete. One additional hour is completed for every 5 points by which the user beats the DC. Up to four people may work together on the puzzle at a time. More than that just get in each others' way and prevent any progress.
The puzzle is a 3D model of a crate. When completed, it magically bonds fully into a closed crate which, when opened, allows the user to roll on Goth Guru's Infinite Crates chart.
147.Dentures of Vecna
Whether packed into this crate and lost in storage centuries ago, or possibly, just inexplicably finding its way into this crate when lost or thought destroyed by another in time for its new owner to uncover it...
Dentures of Vecna:
----------------------------------------
This set of false teeth was created by none other than the god Vecna during his days of lichdom. Before his scheme and plan to become a demigod came to fruition, Vecna had entertained thoughts of becoming a demilich and seeking power in other realms and reality. Not quite ready to make the transformation, he diverted himself with the creation of this lesser artifact.
Thankfully, this evil artifact was not on Vecna's person when he was ultimately betrayed and destroyed by his lieutenant Kas. His spirit isn't linked to it as strongly as his Hand or Eye. Once bonded with a creature, that creature will feel compelled towards Neutral Evil with time and continued use of the dentures (which they can't remove normally).
The dentures are a set of yellowed, slightly-crooked, old and blunt-looking teeth; five of which have been imbedded with gemstones. If a Small, Medium, or Large Humanoid, Monstrous Humanoid, or Undead (of humanoid stock) creature removes their own teeth and places the dentures into their mouth, it fuses permanently to their jaw.
Powers—
The wearer gains a Bite attack as a secondary attack (Medium: 1d4 bludgeoning (only); crit x3). This damage counts as magic and ignores the first 10 points of Damage Reduction other than DR/mythic. This replaces any other bite attack of the creature (unless it's from a different mouth).
As a standard action, the wearer may make a Devour Soul attack, as the demilich power, by making a bite attack against a target. If the attack deals damage, they may attempt to trap their target's soul in one of the five gems. The save DC equals 10 + 1/2 HD + Cha mod. It is said Vecna could do this at range like a demilich, but other users must physically bite their targets.
The wearer also gains a +4 profane bonus to Intimidate, Bluff, and Diplomacy checks as long as they show their teeth.
The wearer gains immunity to ingested poisons and diseases as well as poisons and diseases that would arise from biting poisonous or diseased substances or creatures.
The wearer gains the following Spell-like abilities (CL 20th):
Constant—status (all targets damaged by the bite attack in the past 20 hours. Will negates.)
3/day— 3rd— vampiric bite (as vampiric touch, requiring a successful bite attack. This spell's damage replaces the normal bite damage.)
2nd— ghoul bite (as ghoul touch, requires a successful bite attack that deals damage to the target), steal breath.
1st— adhesive spittle.
The Hand and Eye of Vecna—
If fused to a creature that also bears the Hand or Eye of Vecna, the wearer gains the use of Deflect Arrows, but only during any round in which they don't use the denture's bite attack or other abilities or powers. This may be done a number of times per round equal to the wearer's Dex bonus (min 1) and doesn't require a free hand, but otherwise follows the rules for Deflect Arrows.
If both the Hand and Eye are worn by the denture's user, the wearer's bite attack also inflict one negative level on targets as an energy drain (tripled on a critical hit). Additionally, the wearer may Devour Souls at range, as a demilich and they gain Ability Focus (Devour Souls) as a bonus feat.
Drawbacks—
The wearer takes damage from holy water as an undead. If already susceptible to holy water, they take double damage.
The wearer must rinse their mouth and the dentures out with unholy water once per week. Failure to do so causes the wearer's jaw and tongue to rot slowly, causing 1 point Con drain each week they fail to do so and a –2 penalty to Charisma and Charisma-based checks. These penalties stack and one week of penalties are removed each week of rinsing. For example, after 3 weeks of failing to rinse, the wearer would have 3 Con drain and a –6 to Charisma checks. If they do rinse, then it drops to 2 Con drain and –4 to Charisma checks. The penalty will drop again if they rinse during the next week. There is no method to cure or remove these penalties or drain other than rinsing the dentures in unholy water. Note that this does not confer any protection against wearers who are damaged by unholy water.
Additionally, if the wearer ever dies or is destroyed, they must make a Fortitude save or have their soul imprisoned in one of the five gem teeth (if one is empty). When first found, some or all of the teeth may already contain a soul, likely the previous user's. Roll randomly on Goth Guru's Unfortunate Victims table (or your preferred random NPC chart) to determine any unknown victims.
Removal—
While normally impossible while the wearer is alive, it is possible to research a procedure to be performed by a Paladin, over the course of an hour and involving holy water while the dentures are pried from the jaw which can free a creature, though it leaves them without teeth (and incredibly sore).
The orthodontist must have at least one Paladin level, be Lawful Good, and must succeed at two Heal checks during the course of the procedure (One assistant max, who need not be a Paladin or Lawful Good). Both Heal checks are DC 20 and occur at the halfway point (30 minutes) and the end (1 hr). The procedure also requires holy water to be used to constantly soak the dentures during this time. Each minute requires one vial of holy water to be used (60 in total). Since the wearer is damaged by holy water, it's recommended that the surgeon use their Lay on Hands abilities (which they can do simultaneously with this procedure) or find other methods of healing (otherwise removing them from a corpse is far easier, barring the user's soul being trapped in a gem caveat).
Destruction–
The dentures of Vecna are impervious to almost all attacks and spells. Vorpal weapons can damage them and a shatter spell directly targeted at them can destroy them instantly, despite being a magical artifact. The caster must succeed against a Spell Resistance 30 and the dentures receive a Fortitude saving throw using their wearer's save or their own (+12) to avoid destruction. If destroyed while worn, the wearer must succeed at a Fortitude save against their own Devour Souls ability or be instantly slain and destroyed, though their soul isn't trapped, since the gemstones are technically destroyed and their soul goes to its final destination.
Even if destroyed, this evil artifact merely vanishes, reforming and reappearing again in a different location at a later time. It is believed that final destruction can only occur if brought together on a creature bearing the Hand and Eye of Vecna who is then destroyed by the Sword of Kas the Betrayer.
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148:Contains a small stasis box that contains a tiny stasis box containing 2 focus locusts in mid conversation. A focus box is a magical metal box that when closed freezes time within. Locks are DC16.
