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ITT, I attempt to teach six of my students, possessed of no prior experience with any tabletop gaming, to play Pathfinder.
The rogue's gallery:
Olivie Cyrille, CN elf ranger
Corbin Cyrille, CG elf magus
Marilwen, CN human rogue
Tolo Bunce, N dwarf cleric of Sarenrae
Echo, NE half-elf alchemist
Anaurok, CN human summoner and his eidolon Toothless, currently a large dog
Some background. Last year, about two weeks before summer break, Olivie's player was talking to me about this coming year (she was not in my class at the time and was asking about the sort of things we were going to do), and over the course of the conversation, I'd offhandedly mentioned I played Pathfinder/D&D, and she begged me to teach her. So I said...y'know what, sure. Find a group, and we'll talk come August. Fast forward to August. Final bell rings the first day of school, and I exit the faculty lounge to find a semi-circle of smiling teenagers staring down at me.
...Guess we're doing this.
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Edge of Anarchy
Sessions 1-3
One fine day, each of the party was surprised to discover an unusual card somewhere upon their person (Maril - The Vision, Anaurok - The Unicorn, Echo - The Idiot, Olivie - The Rabbit Prince, Corbin - The Big Sky - The Owl), and the mere mention of the villainous Gaedren Lamm was enough to intrigue this ragtag band of adventurers to head to the source of this mysterious slip of paper. Anaurok is the first to arrive and takes immediate notice of the note on the table about the bread and wine their unknown host has left for them. As any upstanding citizen would, he promptly sets out the basket of bread and slips the wine and note inside his cloak. Maril arrives shortly after and is immediately suspicious of the strange bottle-shaped lump under the odd man's coat but seems to (reluctantly, after a discussion on metagaming bad) accept that it's fine. Before she can argue further, Tolo enters, followed very closely by siblings Corbin and Olivie. They have little time for more than confused introductions when the fortune teller Zellara quietly clears her throat to announce her presence. There is no need for introductions; she knows who they are.
Zellara explains to them her own ill fortune with Lamm, the theft of her harrow deck and the murder of her son, the inability of the guard to aid her, and tells them she knows where he hides if they are willing to seek their revenge. They readily agree, and she performs a harrowing, speaking of the threat of ill health to come. Armed with this knowledge, they set forth, following Zellar's directions to the fishery.
Along the way, they find a curious half-elf, bottles hanging quite conspicuously from his belts, who introduces himself as Echo. Echo, it seems, has also discovered one of these cards in his formulae book, though he had not yet managed to make it to the address. He, too, has a history with Lamm and agrees to help. With little ado, Maril picks the lock, and they storm in...
...startling the guard dog, which charges. Anaurok bids Toothless to attack and shortly knocks the dog unconscious. This disturbs Olivie and Tolo, who begin freaking out that they hurt the puppy. Tolo then casts cure light wounds to get the dog back on its feet. This, naturally, upsets Anaurok, and the two begin arguing quite loudly, prompting Yargin to emerge from the back office...and stare a moment before using a want to smack Anaurok with an acid splash. The dog retreats into the office, licking its wounds. Yargin, after Toothless and Maril lay into him, makes a run for it. Maril quickly searches the office before pursuing. Anaurok and Tolo enter the office to deal with the dog, Tolo eventually convinced that it's best to put the poor thing out of its misery (conveniently neglecting to acknowledge its misery was caused by them). About this point, Anaurok drops the bottle of wine, and Maril immediately scoops it up and spirits it away into her bag.
Scouting into the next room, they found a group of terrified children being ordered about by a large orc-blooded man called Giggles who immediately sends the children to attack; a diplomacy check from Anaurock managed to distract them long enough for Maril and Toothless to take down the orc, taking some minor damage themselves. They follow the trail of blood (Yargin was in quite bad shape when he fled) to a rickety boat, where they are promptly beset by spiders. Olivie immediately declares one to be her pet. Tolo shrieks and promptly slices it in twain with her axe. They eventually emerge onto a rickety dock, leading to a room open to the river below in its center; across the gap stood Yargin, still bleeding, with a frail, elderly man they all recognized: Gaedren Lamm. Seeing that his lieutenant had led trouble straight to him, he shoved the man into the water, where an immense crocodile charged up and devoured him. Olivie, Echo, and Anaurok harried man and beast from afar while Maril and Corbin charged into melee, Tolo remaining on standby to heal as needed. Ultimately, Gaedren fell, and the party unceremoniously dropped him in the river after retrieving his keys. Maril and Olivie eagerly set to searching his personal room, only for that joy to be diminished as Olivie's excitement at finding a hatbox and the potential flowery hat within turned to confused horror as she discovered Zellara's head and harrow deck within.
Notable quotes:
Tolo: "I let Olivie wipe the blood from the spider off my axe."
Olivie: "I'm gonna wipe the blood off my hands when I strangle you."
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dot
I intend to! There's just a lot to catch up on for writing it up.
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Sessions 4-5
After some extreme confusion at discovering the head and realizing that Zellara had been dead long before sending them on this errand (Tolo OOC stood up and walked out for a minute because MIND BLOWN), they collected what they could and decided to head back and see about properly burying Zellara near her house. As they left the fishery, the sounds of screaming and crackling flames met them.
It seems while they dealt with a would-be Fagin, fate had dealt with King Eodred, and Korvosa was not taking it well. They hurried through the riotous streets back to the seer's cottage and promptly barricaded the door. They did their best to rest and recover for the night before attempting to venture forth into the streets (and this only after discovering that the house of a dead woman didn't have food, and no, they did not actually need to resort to cannibalism on the second day of the campaign).
Walking to a nearby tavern for food, they soon noticed a man in a rather disheveled guard uniform, surrounded by a heavy haze of alcohol stink. Anaurok and Tolo approached him, hoping to get some information, and found him quite distraught about the situation. Maril thought for a moment and discerned that this man was one Grau Soldado, a fairly well-liked soldier of the guard. The party decided to get him some help and (after failing a Strength check to support him and nearly concussing Anaurok on a barstool) managed to steady the man enough to walk outside.
...where it took approximately two minutes before running into an angry mob preparing to lynch a young nobleman. They rushed to aid him (almost dropping Grau in the process), and some fast talking (aided in no small part by a convenient guard uniform upon their erstwhile inebriate) gave the young man a chance to flee to safety, but not before slipping a 50 gp thank you to the party. This sidetrack done, they safely escorted Grau to the Citadel, where he was taken to the barracks to sleep off his hangover.
Now no longer hungry, they decided to tend to a pending matter - Anaurok recognized one of the baubles within Gaedren's strongbox (as rather than loot it there, they just decided to take it with them) as a brooch of Queen Ileosa's and relayed to the party that they were likely to get a nice reward for returning it. The only problem with this was, of course, the fact that the city was currently mildly anarchic and partially on fire. Nevertheless, they set off toward the castle, only to be ambushed by a pair of imps recently escaped from the Acadamae. The first imp is quickly put down...but the dice quickly abandon everyone, remaining imp included, for a solid two rounds before Tolo rolls the first nat20 of the game, confirms the crit, and puts an end to the mess with her battleaxe.
Without further incident, the party finally arrives at the castle and, after some argument about leaving weapons behind (particularly Toothless. The guards were not swayed by literal puppy dog eyes), were escorted up for an audience with Ileosa. She thanked them for returning her brooch and bid Captain Merrin reward them, recommending them to Field Marshal Kroft before retiring to her personal chambers.
Notable quotes:
(repeatedly) Tolo: I roll to flirt.
Anaurok-OOC: Which color am I?
DM-OOC: Orange.
Maril-OOC: I'm the green marker. Echo's blue, Olivie's purple.
Tolo-OOC: Who's red again?
Anaurok-OOC: You. So...Corbin's yellow.
Maril-OOC: And none of us can hit anything,
DM-OOC: Kind of a little rainbow of failure.
Olivie-OOC: YES. THAT IS OUR NAME NOW.
Anaurok-OOC: Nooooo.
Tolo: I roll to flirt with the imp.
DM: ......Okay. Do you speak Infernal?
Tolo-OOC: Love is a universal language.
DM: You do not understand his response, but he sounds angry.
Tolo-OOC: NOBODY LOVES DWARVES. THIS IS WHY THEY DRINK.
Anaurok: Echo, do something!
Echo: I got bombs.
Anaurok: Echo, don't do something!
Sabina Merrin: How would you like to be introduced to the queen?
Tolo: YES.
Olivie: FLIRTATIOUSLY.
Sabina Merrin: ...what strange names you have.
Echo: I got bombs.
An elf after my own heart.
WOO HOO!
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You know, NH, I think that your Serpent Skull party has a strong contender... We'll see how the next few adventures go.
You might want to tell your boy to up the ante.
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You know, NH, I think that your Serpent Skull party has a strong contender... We'll see how the next few adventures go.
You might want to tell your boy to up the ante.
Malek's got this.
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Session 6-7
The group returned in rather short order to Citadel Volshyenek for their meeting with Kroft. She begged for their help dealing with a renegade guard called Verik Vancaskerkin, holed up in an old butcher shop across town. The party accepts her offer of a night in the barracks to rest up and sets off the next day, Anaurok taking a moment to resummon Toothless before they set out.
Arriving at All the World's Meat, Maril took the time to ask about for information and managed to learn that Vancaskerkin's fellow defectors would, if you gave them this code phrase, accept a job to..."take care of problems." Armed with this knowledge, they entered the building, suspicious of all this free food being given out by such criminals. As suspicion mounted against the party, Maril and Olivie notice that one of the guards had not raised one of his hands above the counter. Maril blurts the code phrase, and everything changed. The thugs usher out the regular customers and look to the party to talk business.
The adventurers just...stare at each other for several seconds, apparently not having expected this to actually work, before panicking and blurting out names, beginning with Ileosa and working their way through everyone they've met. During this, Olivie begins having a freakout and attempts to leave mid-negotiation (which, as this would risk Verik learning about their side business, will not do) with little success until she screams at the man leaning against the door that she has to pee, complete with agitated dance, at which point he moves to let her pass. Anaurok, meanwhile, finally settles on Gaedren Lamm as their target, hoping that word of his demise had not yet spread. (One lucky coinflip later,) The two thugs agreed, accepting payment from Anaurok and promising they'd move after sunset, and they'd never have to worry about him again. This decided, they decide to do some recon and return after their murderbros leave. To this end, they politely ask permission to borrow the living room of the house across the street to watch the shop. After some time of watching, Maril muses to the others that there was an awful lot of meat coming out for the number of animals they'd seen when they arrived. Tolo connects the dots with the thugs' promise and...immediately has a freakout.
Night falls, and the two thugs leave. Maril moves to pick the lock, while Anaurok, Toothless, and Echo move around to the other side of the building (), and Toothless just headbutts the door in by the stockyard. Maril slips inside the front, followed by Tolo, Corbin, and Olivie, and heads straight upstairs, where they find two more thugs sleeping. Joined by the rest, she and Corbin move to tie them up to prevent anything awkward before opening the door to the office. Verik is, understandably surprised at the intrusion, given that the group has been surprisingly stealthy in their approach. Combat ensues, and they roll quite well to nonlethally subdue him, taking pains to show him the meat cuts they discovered to shut up his protestations of ignorance...Maril making sure to dibs the shiny silver dagger. Without further ado, they march the traitor back to the Citadel for a jail-based time-out.
Notable Quotes
Anaurok: I duck into the bathroom to summon Toothless.
DM-OOC: Wait, everyone sees you enter the bathroom alone...and exit moments later with a mastiff?
Anaurok-OOC: ...yes?
Echo-OOC: That's the secret to eidolons!
Olivie-OOC: It came from the toilet!
Olivie: UM. Um, I...try to go outside.
DM: Malder is leaning against the door.
Olivie: UM. I ROLL TO FLIRT WITH THE FAT GUY.
DM: He winks at you but does not move.
Olivie: OH. Oh jeez. I...tell him I have to pee. HEY. I'M GONNA PEE ON YOU IF YOU DON'T LET ME OUT.
DM: ...his eyes widen, and he steps aside.
Tolo-OOC: So, I can't fit inside. Echo, do something!
Echo-OOC: Um...I got bombs?
Tolo-OOC: NEVERMIND.
Anaurok-OOC: Sorry, I can't remember his name.
DM-OOC: Verik Vancaskerkin.
Tolo-OOC: Vancaskin.
Maril-OOC: Verik Vander...Vankasker-
Anaurok-OOC:
Tolo-OOC: Vancaskerin.
Echo-OOC: How about "Hot Traitor"?
Tolo-OOC: YES
Anaurok-OOC: NO
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I hope that 'Echo, do something followed by "I got bombs" followed by some sort of dispirited answer from the rest of the party' will keep returning.
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It might not. Echo took Precise Bombs for his first discovery, so he might actually get to use said bombs more.
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I suppose now is as good a time as any to build a bit on the player dynamics.
Olivie, Echo, Corbin, and Tolo are mostly here to have a good time. They sure would like to be effective and ask me to double-check their builds, but they're as happy to just goof around as to actually Attack Weak Spots For Massive Damage.
Echo is quite enamored by the possibilities of alchemist, getting this...I'm not quite sure how to describe it. Wide-eyed malevolent glee?...look at things like Tumor Familiar, Vestigial Arm, etc.
Tolo has decided that her luck on diplomacy checks to flirt is influenced by everyone being racist against dwarves and is incorporating that into everything.
Olivie is also still planning some manner of revenge on Tolo for the death of her beloved pet spider that she had for all of 30 seconds. I have lost track of said plan, but last she mentioned, I think it involved some manner of tattoo.
...it's your GP, kids. I can't stop you.
And now we must speak on Maril and Anaurok. The co-captains. The co-captain part is primarily due to the unspoken agreement to disagree on which of them is actually in charge rather than a civil compromise to cooperate. Both of them are quite well-built for this, actually.
Marilwen, as her name might suggest, was originally going to be an elf before she heard Anaurok mention dat bonus feat and skill point, and suddenly her ears got a whole lot less pointy. She is a skill fiend and has already started filling a notebook with meticulous planning for her progression, a spreadsheet bearing the entire party's stat spread, and a wishlist of loot to save up for (they're now level 3, playing for less than a month. I'm mildly terrified and hoping to recruit her as a DM once she's gotten a bit more system confidence - anyone who can go that deep into planning will do juuuuust fine).
Anaurok, meanwhile, is going full "I charisma at u" social tank, rocking a +13 diplomacy. This would be amazing, but...well, he has about a 75% chance of undermining his 20+ checks because of a remarkable knack to say the most perfectly wrong thing to an NPC at the moment. I forgot to add this before the edit window had passed on part 2, but when Grau mistook him for an old friend, he tried to explain the girls' (and Corbin and Echo's) presence as "Oh...oh, right, I...run a service" and wondering why all of the girls were getting ready to kneecap him and run at the first sign of trouble. It's a work in-progress.
Korvosa is in good hands, my friends.
Session 8
The reward for a job well done is another job, as we all know, and it is no different for the Rainbow (Anaurok: Stop calling us that. Olivie: Never.). After Vancaskerkin had been escorted to a jail cell, Cressida greets the returning heroes looking a bit more upbeat than before but still quite tired (They have actually, unprompted, taken to asking if she's still looking tired every time they see her. I'm rather impressed). She introduces them to an old friend of hers, one Vencarlo Orisini.
The party instantly becomes enamored of Vencarlo, asking him all manner of questions (the first being "Are you single" because of course it is) before Cressida interrupts them with that pesky plot. Their latest assignment is a political one...of sorts. She wishes them to help her find some...leverage against the Chelish ambassador Amprei to dissuade him from placing crippling economic sanctions on Korvosa. There is hope - Vencarlo knows that the King of Spiders, Devargo Barsi, has some information, but this is obviously not a matter for the guards. However, the party...she looks around, seeing Olivie, Echo, and Tolo practically batting their eyelashes at Vencarlo and doing pretty much everything shy of yelling NOTICE ME, SENPAI...will not be mistaken for such. Cressida mentions the probability of needing a bribe and offers them 1000 gp. Anaurock, aided by Maril, combine their efforts to convince her to make it 1500, and off they go, led by their new best friend and dashing fencing teacher (Maril may be a bit smug about being the only rapier user in the party; Anaurok and Tolo are disappointed he doesn't teach morningstar/axe fighting). After pointing them in the right direction upon reaching the Narrows, Vencarlo departs with an elegant bow.
The party walks onto the docks of Eel's End and takes in the sight of the five ships moored in close proximity and decide to go into the Goldenhawk first. This ship, they discover, is a little inn run by a little gnome called Tuggins, whose obsession with keys quickly risks Vencarlo's status of New Favorite. Tolo tells him they'd like to speak to his boss, and Tuggins says that it won't be possible - he's been waiting a month for this. Clearly, the party decides, this requires a plan. Finesse. Subtlety.
Anaurok takes Toothless outside and tells the doglike eidolon to start doing tricks. This apparently not distracting anyone enough, Tolo and Echo start doing cartwheels, then enlisting Maril to do a running swan leap for the dwarf to catch ...and both end up flat on their backs on the dock.
...So only after Operation: Cirque du Soleil fails does it occur to them that they could just...lie to the guards that they have an appointment. No, I don't have an explanation. Anaurok, with ample aid-anothers, easily clears the bluff check, and the guards allow entry to Barsi's chamber.
Upon seeing the spiderwebs, Olivie immediately starts looking for a new pet before deciding that Barsi is "Hot Topic Cute." Maril, meanwhile spots the caged Majenko and whispers to it in Draconic. And thus begins the trend of Barsi apparently having the situational awareness of a can opener - he bombed the check to hear her, allowing the psuedo to open a telepathic link to beg for help.
Unaware of the shenanigans behind him, Anaurok introduces himself and mentions an interest in...information. Barsi looks up, interested. Maril moves to pick the lock on the cage.
...It's quite fitting that half the party picked Desna because they could not roll below a 17 for this. Anaurok 19s; aid anothers from everyone but Maril round out a flipping 40. Before Barsi can even mention Knivesies, out comes the offer of 500 gp to jog his memory. Maril has no trouble with the cage, and Barsi 1's his perception to notice this. Again. Majenko creeps down and hides in her backpack. Barsi steps out a few minutes and returns with a pair of letters; gold changes hands, and the party departs.
Tolo suggests they visit Tuggins. Maril hastily declines. Tolo asks why. Majenko pops his head out of the bag.
The party departs. Quickly.
Notable Quotes
Cressida Kroft: You see, Amprei's true goal is to destabilize the economy enough that he can buy land from the destitute-
Olivie-OOC: It's that darned Putnam again!
Anaurok-OOC: He's accusing people of witchcraft!
Echo-OOC: I saw Ileosa with the devil!
Maril-OOC: Witchery's a hangin' error!
DM-OOC:
Corbin, Tolo:
Maril-OOC: It'll make sense in a few years!
(For context: I make my juniors read The Crucible at the start of the year. Corbin and Tolo are the only non-juniors [8th and 9th]. Warms my heart to see them actually remembering the stuff we do in class.)
Vencarlo: A pleasure to meet you.
Echo-OOC: WHY DOESN'T HE KISS MY HAND
Anaurok-OOC: THANK GOD HE DOESN'T KISS MY HAND
Olivie-OOC: Is he hot, Ms. Scint?
Tolo-OOC: She said he's old.
DM-OOC: Well, 50s or so. Think...I dunno, Johnny Depp.
Echo and girls-OOC: YAAAAAAASS
Tolo-OOC: I ROLL TO FLIRT
All:
DM-OOC:
All:
DM-OOC: This is the talking stick. If you do not have the stick, you are not talking.
Anaurok-OOC: Ohhhhh.
DM-OOC: ...what did you think it was for?
Anaurok-OOC: Nooooooothing?
Maril-OOC: ...Roll bluff.
Anaurok-OOC:
Olivie: Echo, any ideas for a distraction?
Echo: I got bombs.
Olivie: Maybe later.
DM: The Spider King-
Olivie-OOC: SPIDER KING?
Tolo-OOC: YOU SAID YOU'D FORGIVE ME
Olivie-OOC: NEVER
Tolo: Oh, we should go see Tuggins!
Maril: We are running now.
Tolo: But I love him!
Anaurok: WE ARE RUNNING NOW.
Tolo-OOC: When do I get to break my arm and become a glowstick?
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...As any upstanding citizen would, [Anaurok] promptly sets out the basket of bread and slips the wine and note inside his cloak...
...This disturbs Olivie and Tolo, who begin freaking out that they hurt the puppy. Tolo then casts cure light wounds to get the dog back on its feet...
...Olivie immediately declares one [of the spiders] to be her pet...
Oh, Holy Carp! It *IS* my group!
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Session 9
The party has finally been able to enjoy some downtime, now that the riots had started to burn themselves out, and Korvosa returned to a relative peace. Maril took the time to forge a deed for Zellara's house (Desna likes Maril's dice), thus ensuring a place to stay. After a good stretch of this quiet, they were interrupted by a knock on the door - a guard has arrived to announce Field Marshal Kroft, who follows a moment later. After taking care that the house is, in fact, secure, Cressida informs them of her latest dilemma - they've all heard the rumors of regicide, but now the mob thinks they have the killer - a pretty young painter called Trinia Sabor. Cressida stressed the importance of bringing her - safely - in and not letting mob justice rule, promising 1000 gold if the mob did not kill her. To aid them, she showed them a sketch of the girl, and the party set off. Anaurok mentioned that this smelled fishy to him and murmured something about the queen.
Predictably, Trinia's neighbors were not so keen to let them inside with literal mobs roaming the streets (Toothless, now a clawed lizard the size of a small horse, did not help matters), so Maril, Olivie, and Echo climbed up the side of the building...and into the wrong room. Echo ran down to let the others in, and they immediately succeeded on knocking in the door, seeing through the illusion, and spotting Trinia halfway out the window. Trinia barely gets a head start enough to get to the first roof. Olivie fumbles her climb check to get onto the roof and lands on the ground, having to take a turn to catch back up, but Maril and Echo are immediately on the chase. The less-dextrous party members race downstairs and sprint alongside the buildings, hoping to catch anyone who falls.
Trinia takes an early lead of three rooftops. Echo decides to play it more cautious and moves one. Maril attempts two. Olivie catches up to the starting point.
Trinia moves another rooftop. Maril moves onto the same. Echo moves one. Olivie fails her acro and can't move.
Not comfortable with Maril right there, Trinia attempts (and fails) to daze her. One square. Echo manages to move two, one behind Trinia. Maril keeps pace and fails to grapple her. Olivie moves one.
Trinia fails her check to get as far as possible and cannot move. Echo barely misses her CMD. Maril nat 20s. The DM goes temporarily deaf from teenage girl screaming. The dice hated Trinia.
Understandably terrified, Trinia bursts into tears, begging the party to believe she was framed. After the entire party rolls sense motive, they decide to escort her to their hideout for safekeeping - using Echo's new cloak of debated practicality to disguise her, much to the alchemist's delight.
The framed assassin safely out of sight allows the city to calm itself for a time, but riots gonna riot, and Kroft again calls for their help after a recent spot of trouble. She introduces the party to an aged Shoanti man, the ambassador Thousand Bones, and allows him to explain his request: recover the stolen body of his son from the necromancer who purchased it so he can properly be sent to the afterlife. The party accepts the commission (after a short chat with Anaurok about how Diplomacy is not a substitute for accounting, she can't pay you more).
Notable Quotes
DM: So. Maril, you're...
Maril: Sprucing up the house. Some new curtains, just making it nice.
DM: Cool.
Olivie: Echo and I went to the club.
Tolo: And me!
Olivie: And Tolo! Did we find love?
DM: I don't care. Sure.
Olivie, Echo, Tolo: YES.
Echo: Also I buy a cloak.
Tolo: Isn't it, like, summer?
Echo: I BUY A CLOAK.
DM: I assume Corbin (not here) is practicing with his scythe. Anaurok?
Anaurok: I spend the time in my room with Toothless, meditating. You know, DBZ style.
DM: ....DBZ style.
Anaurok: Is that okay?
DM: ...Maril, while you clean, you hear just this long, drawn out AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH from Anaurok's room. For hours.
Anaurok:
Maril: I go to check on him, but then I figure this is just...normal for him and ignore it.
Thousand Bones: "His body was stolen-"
Anaurok: "Of course it was stolen..."
Thousand Bones: "-sold by a peddler to a necromancer-"
Anaurok: "Of course it's a necromancer...."
Thousand Bones: "I have spoken to the spirits, and they tell me his has been taken to a place called the Deep Warrens, which lies beneath your boneyard-"
Anaurok: "...of course it's a graveyard....."
Thousand Bones: You must bring me Gaekhen’s body, lest we be forced to recover him ourselves. And although it pains my heart to say it — we will not be gentle if it comes to this.”
Tolo:
Entire party-OOC: NO
Anaurok-OOC: Wait, time-out.
DM-OOC: What's up?
Anaurok-OOC: You're sending us to a graveyard. With ghosts and zombies. We have a big dog-
Echo-OOC: I thought he was a lizard now.
Anaurok-OOC: A doggish thing, the dog's best friend...
Maril-OOC: Oh no.
Tolo, Anaurok-OOC: ♪Scooby dooby doo, where are you-
DM-OOC: Oooookay, we're gonna call it here.
Maril-OOC: Stop touching the dice! You're gonna use up all the good rolls!
DM-OOC: ...I'm telling your stats teacher on you.
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Hoo boy. Today was a cramfest at the school of hard knocks.
- Echo and Tolo forgot to prepare their spell lists.
- Anaurok discovered that maybe a Large eidolon in an underground labyrinth is not tactically sound
- The entire party learned that preserving resources beyond the first two rooms might be helpful
Now, this is their first ever game, so I'm trying to throw them a bone here and there, and various shenanigans and sheer luck with the dice have meant that they really haven't spent an extended period of time in a dungeon before, so this one has a fairly sharp learning curve for them. But I digress.
Session 10
The group wasted little time in making their way to the Potter's Ward to begin the search for Thousand Bones' grandson. Tolo and Olivie easily spotted the wheelbarrow's trail, and Olivie identified the tiny footprints as belonging to derro, malevolent creatures with a penchant for kidnapping surface creatures to experiment on. Worried but determined, they proceeded on.
Olivie and Maril easily noticed the movement of the skeletons before they attacked, and between Echo's bombs, Tolo's channeling, and a lucky shot from Olivie, these were soon reduced to a pile of bones. Continuing inward, they quickly ran into problems as Toothless attempted to navigate the narrow corridors. Toothless and Anaurok squeezed into a more open area, where they discovered a derro busily at work over a corpse, attaching stirges to it.
Upon seeing the intruders, the derro squeaked in surprise and pulled open the stirge cage, allowing the remaining two free stirges to fly free, and fly they did right onto the side of the enormous lizard. A few arrows from Olivie, magic missiles from Anauroch, another bomb from Echo, and the creatures fell.
Backtracking, they discovered the refuse pit and part of a body with Shoanti tattoos...and the otyugh guarding it. It leaped at the chance for a warm meal and advanced. The party retreated back through the tunnel to bait it into a more open room. Anaurok (now a GMPC as the player had to leave early) dismissed Toothless, instead calling forth a small earth elemental that could maneuver more easily through the narrow tunnels, while Maril moved to flank. Between their attacks, Corbin's persistent rays of frost, and Olivie's arrows, this creature, too, fell.
Echo and Tolo were ordered to figure out their spells before we resumed play.
Notable Quotes
Anaurok: Oh, no. Maril and me...we're the only humans.
Olivie: All surface dwellers.
Anaurok: Oh thank God.
DM: ....oh thank God, you're ALL in danger?
DM: You also see a rather poorly hidden trapdoor leading into the darkness. What do you want to do?
Tolo: Cry.
Maril-OOC: Get off your high horse!
Anaurok-OOC: Lizard.
DM: Echo, you're up.
Echo: UM
Anaurok: ECHO, YOU GOT BOMBS.
Echo: I'M NERVOUS.
Tolo: I...channel!
Anaurok-OOC: Roll a 12!
Tolo-OOC: That won't happen.
Maril: Toothless, move your stupid doglizard butt!
DM: You see something shift beside the pile of body parts.
Echo: OH GOD
Anaurok: It's gonna be a psuedodragon...
DM: Oh, you wish.
Echo: OH GOD
Maril: WHAT IS THAT THING
Anaurok: NOOOOOO
Tolo: CAN I CRY NOW?
Anaurok-OOC: Are you trying to kill us now?
DM-OOC: Now?
Anaurok-OOC: Now?
DM-OOC: I've been trying since the Fishery, but the dice won't cooperate.
Remember that alchemist has an advantage in not preparing his extracts early - he can prepare a fresh extract in just 1 minute using an empty daily slot, allowing him a greater degree of flexibility than other prepared casters. Of course leaving too many empty extract slots for later means he has less to use early on, and needs time to fill them.
DM: Echo, you're up.
Echo: UM
Anaurok: ECHO, YOU GOT BOMBS.
Echo: I'M NERVOUS.
<3
As a former high school teacher, I can't help but imagine all the players as my own students (it's eerily easy to do), which makes this whole thing that much more enjoyable to me.
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Session 11
As a note, Toothless is back down to medium size after the DM looked over evolution requirements.
The group continued into the tunnels, Echo quickly identifying a number of ominous skulls rigged with some manner of trap. Anaurok, deciding it a brilliant and hilarious idea, promptly stuck his hand into the nearest one, immediately triggering its acid splash and awakening the necrophidius trio lurking there. Frustrated with his lack of ranged weapons and wanting to conserve his bombs, Echo pried a skull free from the wall and hurled it at one, killing it; the other two fell shortly after.
Proceeding forward, they encountered a derro at work repairing a table in an odd combination of kitchen and alchemy lab. Anaurok decided to try and sweet-talk it, claiming he could grant it the ability to walk in sunlight; this confused the creature enough that Maril was able to get into position for a sneak attack. Tolo and Olivie confused it further by proceeding to flirt with it rather than attack. When it finally fell, Echo, frustrated by having nothing other than bombs for combat, claimed its crossbow and dagger.
Tolo and Maril noticed the boarded up door to the south, and Tolo broke down the door. The carrion golem within immediately attacked. Anaurok and Echo explained what the creature was...and Anaurok, realizing it was immune to basically anything he could do to it, left his elemental to the task for a few rounds before hurling an acid splash at Tolo in frustration for opening the door in the first place. After feeling the spell whizz harmlessly by, Tolo angrily retaliated with her slingshot, also missing.
After a long and arduous combat, the creature finally fell. Anaurok saw and claimed the severed arm it held, and Tolo healed the party before moving on.
Notable Quotes
DM: When last we left you-
Maril: We were arguing.
DM: Echo, you notice that several of the skulls are rigged.
Olivie: CAN I ROLL TO PUT CORBIN'S HAND IN ONE OF THEM
DM: Echo, you're up.
Anaurok: Echo, you got bombs!
Echo: I ONLY GOT THREE BOMBS. NO.
DM: The derro throws a roll of tape at Anaurok...and misses.
Maril: I sneak attack.
Olivie: I FLIRT.
Anaurok, Maril:
Echo: ...Hm. I don't want to use a bomb...
Tolo: Crossbow?
Echo: I throw the crossbo-WAIT
Maril: I try to hit.
Echo: I use my crossbow.
Anaurok: Earthbro tries to bodyslam it.
Maril-OOC: Seriously?! Death to 2s!
DM: It tries to hit Maril. ...........
Tolo-OOC: Oh no she's dead...
DM: Aaaand that's a 2...
Maril: 2 has been redeemed!
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Proceeding forward, they encountered a derro at work repairing a table in an odd combination of kitchen and alchemy lab. Anaurok decided to try and sweet-talk it, claiming he could grant it the ability to walk in sunlight; this confused the creature enough that Maril was able to get into position for a sneak attack.
Clever...
Tolo and Olivie confused it further by proceeding to flirt with it rather than attack.
Not so clever...
AMaril: I try to hit. 2
Echo: I use my crossbow. 2
Anaurok: Earthbro tries to bodyslam it. 2
Maril-OOC: Seriously?! Death to 2s!
DM: It tries to hit Maril. ...........
Tolo-OOC: Oh no she's dead...
DM: Aaaand that's a 2...
Maril: 2 has been redeemed!
Hey, I know that group...
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Also, Tolo and Olivie need to learn how to flirt while attacking. It's difficult, but I've seen it done before.
And now I have an alternate interpretation for Wesley/Inigo Montpya duel scene in Princess Bride...
And now I am considering Barry White for a combat scene music...
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Session 12
With the carrion golem freshly defeated, Anaurok dismissed his badly-beaten earth elemental, instead calling forth an air elemental. The group set off through the narrow tunnels, deliberating briefly at a fork before heading south, finding a room ringed with pits for prisoners and guarded by a slow-witted ogrekin. Not wanting to fight the creature, Anaurok stepped forward for some fast-talking while Maril slipped quietly past him to get a lay of the room, spotting the prisoners within the pits. With a few well-chosen words and lucky rolls, the ogrekin was convinced that Rolth had a special task for his favorite guard - making sure the thing in the pantry didn't go anywhere - and he lumbered off to stand guard over the fallen construct. Immediately after the guard departed, Maril and the elemental set to freeing the prisoners, who hurriedly made their way out the warrens' back tunnel. One of them, a woman called Torin, vowed to repay the party's kindness; she would arrange for a wand of remove disease to be sent their way as soon as she could. The air elemental was dismissed, and Toothless (now back to medium size), rejoined them.
Turning to the other half of the unexplored tunnel, they soon came across what appeared to be a laboratory of some sort, complete with a monstrous flesh golem partially completed upon a worktable. After hesitating several moments until completely certain it was not, in fact, moving, they crept in to examine the room, discovering that the creature's head matched the description Thousand Bones had given them. Echo and Tolo were easily able to detatch the head, and they continued on, looting the library - and even the mirror in the bedroom - before finding the final chamber...and the missing torso and arm they sought, still twitching and grasping for the air.
Bent over this abomination was a final derro, who looked up at them with a twitching eye. Anaurok greeted him pleasantly; the derro immediately shielded himself. Maril slipped inside to flank as Corbin, Tolo, and Toothless closed in. Olivie harried him with arrows from afar; Echo unloaded the last of his remaining bombs, and Anaurok hurled acid splashes from safety. The derro lashed out with as many spells as he could to weaken his attackers, draining Toothless' strength with a ray of enfeeblement and managing to blind Maril, who still managed to score a few lucky hits through the darkness, as well as land a scorching ray on Corbin and Tolo before finally being subdued. Anaurok insisted they not kill him; Maril, quite miffed, insisted she be allowed to kill him (though it should be noted she was arguing more to the wall than the summoner at this point). Anaurok questioned the derro about Rolth, only learning "he not here, but I good student!" before offering his terms - sew the body back together, no creepy stuff, and live. The derro spent about five minutes making noncommittal promises that would not preclude animating flesh before Echo simply set to the stitchwork himself. Anaurok simply sat there a moment before whacking the derro with his morningstar, the deal now superfluous.
They departed the warrens to return to the Citadel. Field Marshal Kroft summoned called for a priest to heal Maril and asked another favor of the party. There was some grumbling, but they were all immediately interested as she gave details: Trinia Sabor had been found and was to be executed. This was quite curious, as they had all seen Trinia quite safe as of mere hours ago in the house they had "inherited" from Zellara. Anaurok quickly bit his lip mid-protestation of precisely how impossible this was, and Kroft requested that they attend the execution because something felt...off.
The group dispersed themselves through the crowd, Maril making her way to the very front for the best possible view. Upon seeing the queen, Tolo and Olivie began waving enthusiastically, only to be rewarded with a snub...and a sudden interest from the guards stationed about. Ileosa ordered the prisoner brought forward, denouncing her as a traitor and murderess, but as the hood was pulled off, Echo and Maril could note a few details wrong - the hair was a few shades too dark, the nose the wrong shape. This was not Trinia Sabor. Unsure what to do, they watched in rapt horror until the executioner stumbled, dropping his axe. Someone in the crowd exclaimed that it was Blackjack, and the masked hero immediately dashed in to rescue the maiden, taking the opportunity to denounce the queen. Anaurok took the opportunity to start making his way out of the courtyard. Ileosa ordered him captured and hurried off with a small contingent of guards. The crowd cheered the vigilante on, and as the executioner recovered to swing his axe at Blackjack, Anaurok turned, wand in hand, and knocked his hand away with a magic missile. Blackjack hurried off with the false Trinia, downed a potion of feather fall, and fell backward over the wall with his rescuee, arm lifted in salute. Under cover of pure chaos, the party retreated home.
End Chapter 1
Notable Quotes
Anaurok: So...Rolth's got a new job for you!
Cabbagehead: But...Cabbagehead guard hole people.
Anaurok: It's all right. I'll watch them for you.
Cabbagehead: YOU WANT REPLACE ROLTH FAVORITE
Anaurok: NONONONO YOU'RE THE FAVORITE. ROLTH SAYS YOU'RE THE BEST
Cabbagehead: Beeeest
Echo and Tolo-OOC: Awwwww!
DM: You figure a dagger could probably take care of the stitching.
Echo: I got a dagger.
DM: You are now...level 4.
Echo: Yaaaaaay I get a tumor!
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No, "I flirt with the vile ogrekin"?
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I know. I was shocked, too.
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guess who made on account
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Somewhat ironically, this chapter's start was delayed a few weeks because the GM had the flu.
Seven Days to the Grave
Intermission
Zellara's deck felt warm in Anaurok's pockets, and the moment he touched the cards, he felt certain that the time was ripe for a harrowing. Each drew their role card:
Corbin: The Waxworks
Olivie: The Sickness
Anaurok: The Teamster
Maril: The Desert
Tolo: The Brass Dwarf (Tolo insists random chance is racist)
Echo: The Tangled Briar
Their past yielded: The Forge, The Carnival, and The Twin
Their present yielded: The Beating, The Marriage (the giggles that ensued...), and The Fiend
Their future yielded: The Mute Hag, The Liar, and The Betrayal
Session 1
In the wake of the abortive execution of Trinia Sabor, Korvosa had been strangely quiet...at least by the standard of a city getting used to riots on the hour. However, about a week past Blackjack's scandalous rescue, the night was rent by the sound of shouts and trebuchet fire, and by morning, the rumor mill was in full force. The party heard everything from tales of piracy to a golden light aboard a silent ship...a rumor Tolo managed to identify as an indicator of quarantine. They immediately set out to investigate, stymied by the fact that none of them were capable of breathing underwater. This lead a wash, they turned to other methods of passing the time: Anaurok set to tailing rumors of Blackjack, complete with a bulletin board of papers and yarn (by the player's own description), Maril to whittling arrows, Echo to his alchemy, Corbin to his spells, and Tolo and Olivie bored enough to ask Kroft for work and accept when the field marshal offered stable work, at a loss for any interesting tasks for them. ...More accurately, Tolo set to mucking the stalls, and Olivie pet the horses.
After a few days of relative peace, a knock came at the door. After quickly hiding Trinia (they haven't yet figured out what to do with her), they answered the door to discover Grau Soldado. Grau begged them for their help - his niece had fallen ill. After waiting for Tolo to shower (another day at the stables), they set off to examine the girl.
Tolo and Olivie followed Grau upstairs, while Anaurok and Maril remained downstairs with the visiting priest of Abadar (Echo and Corbin, NPC'd for the day, were...doing NPC things). Questioning the man about his inability or unwillingness to heal the girl yielded some frustration about his faith...and some concerns about just what she had managed to contract as the priest did not recognize it. Tolo, meanwhile, fished out the scroll of remove disease she had found in the Deep Warrens and read it over Brienna, following it up with a couple of lesser restorations to bring her back to full health. Tolo was then immediately crushed in a bearhug of gratitude from Tayce Soldado, who immediately ordered the party to stay to dinner.
The conversation turned to what Brienna had been doing before falling ill, and she mentioned a box full of money. Anaurok immediately began asking if she could show them where she had found it, but Tayce put her foot down, refusing to let her girl go back to where she had possibly fallen ill. Anaurok protested that if the box, presumably from the ship, had been the source, the driftwood might risk it spreading. Grau pointed out that if it was the box, Brienna had already taken the coins out of it and spent them.
Anaurok hurried to get this information to Kroft, first securing a promise that Maril would save him some dinner. Kroft looked skeptical but promised to make a note and have someone look into it...assuming the Grey Maidens, the Queen's new bodyguards, didn't take on that duty.
Notable Quotes
Tolo: TRINIA I miss her
DM: ...she's still in your hideout.
Tolo: OH. I flirt.
Grau: You know how she got sick?
Anaurok: Necromancy.
Grau: .......what?
Anaurok: Undead magic.
Grau: Creepy skeleton stuff?
Anaurok: ...the magic that makes skeletons.
Grau: ...Brienna's gonna turn into a skeleton?
Maril: No...
DM: You detect faint necromancy on the remnants of the box.
Anaurok: ....we killed that guy, right?
Maril: One of 'em, anyway.
Tolo: OH OH Trinia can paint us!!!
Olivie: YESSSS
Kroft: I'll make a note of it and have someone look into it.
Anaurok: Whatever, it's gonna be us anyway...
Anaurok-OOC: Did we get a name for our group yet?
Olivie-OOC: The rainbow of failure!
Anaurok-OOC: A REAL name? That I can give to people who might hire us?
guess who made on account
sup
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guess who made on account
A troublemaker?
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Anaurok-OOC: Did we get a name for our group yet?
Olivie-OOC: The rainbow of failure!
Anaurok-OOC: A REAL name? That I can give to people who might hire us?
Look on the bright side. It's not, "The Parade of Stupidity".
Look on the bright side. It's not, "The Parade of Stupidity".Anaurok-OOC: Did we get a name for our group yet?
Olivie-OOC: The rainbow of failure!
Anaurok-OOC: A REAL name? That I can give to people who might hire us?
Colorfully bright...
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Session 2
The next day, Olivie woke with a headache and persistent cough. She insisted it was nothing, and the party walked off in response to Vencarlo's invitation to his school. Once they had all entered, Vencarlo closed the door and drew the shades, revealing the false Trinia, a rejected Grey Maiden called Angela Maxen, and asking them for their help with escorting her out. He promised them a horse at the city gates if they could get her there without being accosted by the guards. They agreed, and departed with the intent to return the next morning...with the real Trinia.
However, the next day, Olivie broke out in a rash identical to Brienna Soldado's. Nonetheless, they set off, Trinia in tow beneath Echo's cloak. Not far away from Vencarlo's school, they encountered a beggar covered in the same rash as Olivie who pleaded with them to spare some coins for medicine. Tolo took pity on him and cast remove disease, at which point Olivie had some rather strong words for her until her disease was removed as well. They asked the man to walk with them as they continued through the streets...and Maril decided to steal a flower vase off of someone's porch to give to him.
They managed to escort the women out with no trouble...somehow, though from the handful of people they saw with the tell-tale rash, perhaps the guard was simply busy with other matters...
Notable Quotes
Maril-OOC: Tolo's a guy, right?
Tolo-OOC:
Olivie-OOC: Can that please be in-character?
Corbin-OOC: Oh my god.
Olivie-OOC: Oh, Olivie's a dude, right? The queen's a dude, right? Actually, can we run this with her as a drag queen?
Maril-OOC: Remind me what the little psuedodragon looks like?
Olivie-OOC: He's basically Spike from My Little Pony! I'm calling him Spike.
Maril-OOC: NO. He's Majenko!
Tolo: It's pronounced Sarenrae.
DM: Also called the Dawnflower.
Olivie-OOC: I thought you said Don Flower, and I was like...okay.
Olivie: If I die because you didn't feel like using one of the 37 charges in your wand, I'm gonna haunt you for the rest of my life!
Maril: I don't want to share a room with someone who is threatening to take off people's shirts.
Olivie: IT IS FOR A REVENGE TATTOO. IT'S FINE.
Olivie: STEAL THE ORNAMENTAL WINDOW BOXES.
Maril: Hey! I agreed to the vases, not the windows!
DM: You have successfully escorted Trinia and Angela out of the city.
All: Yaaaay!
Maril: Tolo, you do realize this means you won't have anyone to flirt with?
Tolo: I GO WITH THEM INTO THE SUNSET.
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Session 3
The next day, Echo and Corbin began coughing uncontrollably, to which Maril immediately slammed their door shut in an impromptu quarantine. Shortly after this, they received an invitation from the Abadaran priest they had met before to please come to the Grand Vault. They set off at once, leaving the invalids behind...
...and quickly discovered exactly why Ishani had requested their aid. Tolo attempted to push through the crowd, only for them to notice her holy symbol and begin begging her for help. It took the combined efforts of Anaurok's pleading and Tolo's panicked forced coughing to convince them to let her pass. Once inside, Ishani explained the desperation of the situation, naming the strange disease blood veil. He requested that they escort him to the Citadel for a meeting with Field Marshal Kroft.
As they arrived, a woman in the same imposing armor they had seen on a few at Trinia's execution was finishing a statement to the Korvosan Guard to protect the Queen's Physicians and answer to the Gray Maidens in the interest of national security. Anaurok and Tolo were quick to catch Kroft before she left. Kroft, looking tired, introduced the party to the man with her, the newly appointed Queen's Physician Dr. Davaulus. Davaulus showed them an edict to be posted about town shortly, effectively stating that Korvosa was under martial law with particular emphasis on the crime of harboring the infected. Tolo, possessed of negative amounts of poker face, made a strange noise. Anaurok quickly blustered out some manner of excuse for her to leave before Davaulus could question her further. The dwarf raced home to quickly use her wand to cure the boys...and encountered difficulties with the door to the point of self-injury. The rest of the party waited to escort Ishani back to the Vault and collect their payment before returning home.
The next morning, Anaurok and Maril had both begun to manifest symptoms of blood veil, which Tolo again used her wand to cure, and a few uneventful days passed before a message arrived from Kroft. It seemed that a few lazy plague carriers were not following orders to deliver the diseased bodies to the specified drop point but instead merely tossing them into alleyways, so if the party wouldn't mind looking into this for her...
Notable Quotes
Olivie-OOC: There's a god of disease, right? Let's all change religions.
Tolo-OOC: AHEM
Tolo: Why can't you just be nice and take his money?
Olivie: Okay, so we have two options. One, we heal everyone until they finally stop getting sick. Two, we kill everyone and start a new town.
Echo: Before they left, I gave them my cloak. WAIT I'm sick.
DM: Did you get his cloak back from Trinia?
Echo: WHAT.
Olivie: IT'S BLACK FRIDAY, BUT WORSE
Anaurok: Black Plague Friday.
Tolo: Echo, bomb the crowd!
Echo: I'm in bed.
Anaurok: Your tumor might come in handy.
Echo: OH YEAH!
Echo: I cough flirtatiously.
Anaurok: He's from the church of commerce-
DM: Abadar
Olivie-OOC: Abadee, Abadar, that's ALL, folks!
Tolo: When I get home, I slam into the boys' door.
DM: It does not budge. You take...2 points of damage and break your nose.
Maril: Is the door even locked?
DM: No...
Tolo: I kick the door.
DM: The door doesn't budge.
Tolo: I punch it.
DM: Nope.
Tolo: ...can Echo open the door?
Echo: I'm standing on the other side of the door, just letting this happen.
Tolo: I slam into the door!
DM: The door flies off its hinges and right into Echo, who takes...5 points of nonlethal.
Olivie: You fought an unlocked door and lost. What is wrong with you?
Tolo: ...I wanted to be the Kool-Aid Man.
As a note, some of the party are asking about training Profession: Doctor to be able to legally wear a plague mask around Korvosa, Maril's player having found that little bit in the players' guide about it being illegal for non-doctors and healers to wear one. I am...not sure how to feel about this.
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Session 3
The next day, Echo and Corbin began coughing uncontrollably, to which Maril immediately slammed their door shut in an impromptu quarantine. Shortly after this, they received an invitation from the Abadaran priest they had met before to please come to the Grand Vault. They set off at once, leaving the invalids behind......and quickly discovered exactly why Ishani had requested their aid. Tolo attempted to push through the crowd, only for them to notice her holy symbol and begin begging her for help. It took the combined efforts of Anaurok's pleading and Tolo's panicked forced coughing to convince them to let her pass. Once inside...
Look on the bright side. Your LAWFUL GOOD paladin of Torag didn't Bull Rush the crowd, roll a natural 20, and send poor peasants and petitioners tumbling out of her way.