Promotion!


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This is based off of the banned thread, you have to give a statement on why the poster above you was promoted.

Why was I promoted?


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GoblinBane was promoted just to get him out of our office. You should have seen the state he left the bathroom in every day. The custodian didn't used to drink as much. Or cry all the time.


As it turns out, the boss is a big fan of GoatToucher's "massages." Little wonder he was promoted.


Ventnor was promoted to "head" incinerator. Came with a big raise in the form of a chest full of gold.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Goblinbane wasn't all that threatening to goblins, thus his promotion.

Scarab Sages

Sliska Zafir has earned a promotion now that it's collected and integrated no fewer than 10,000 strands of foreign DNA.


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I'm Hiding In Your Closet's new closet-based marketing strategy wowed the board of investors, and so on up he went.

Dark Archive

Glorbax, Space Entrepreneur got himself promoted through exploitative use of his mesmerizing forehead tattoo.


Lucija slept her way to a promotion in the field of dream modification a' la Inception.


GoatToacher saved money by scrimping on toupees, which let him buy the company.


MageHunter was promoted to Mage Locator, too many "incidents" while in the field...

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Goblinbane was at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong tongue-attachment on. When asked who would be Successor, everyone noticed him, and took a step back.


Silska Zafir was the scariest monster at Monsters Inc. They are now a corporate trainer.

Scarab Sages

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MageHunter was promoted for his ability to make monosyllabic sentences sound authoritative.


IHIYC was promoted because his new and assertive closet living forms a new template for urban life in the future.

Scarab Sages

Sissyl was promoted because the little barcode tattoo encircling her host's forehead is actually encrypted data carrying key secrets to a world-shattering conspiracy.


IHIYC was promoted out of customer service, people are just getting too freaked out by anything resembling a clown lately.

Dark Archive

J4RH34D was promoted because her golden face is thought to herald good luck.


Lydia was promoted to head of the haunted house because her pale visage was deemed one of the more frightening things the higher ups had ever seen down a dark alley

Dark Archive

J4RH34D was promoted because, as one can plainly see, she is quite well-practiced in looking down on others.


Fomalhaut was promoted to head marshmellow roaster, those spikes are good for far more than just appearing intimidating


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J4RH34D was promoted to manage the new “Using Numbers instead of Letters” department of the company.


Ventnor was promoted because the competition ran out of flame retardant...

Scarab Sages

MageHunter was promoted because of systemic green privilege.


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I'm Hiding In Your Closet was promoted because he knows what the CEO was hiding in his closet.


Freedom Bird was promoted because he was on the up and up

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Goblinbane was demoted for laughing at the boss, but so was everyone else, and they laughed harder. You can't fire everyone, so up he goes.

Liberty's Edge

Sliska Zafir was promoted because it's good at keeping an eye on things.


Xavante was promoted because they have been high more than anyone else in the office.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Goblinbane was promoted to Head Dentist, as he knows a few things about teeth.


Sliska Zafir was promoted from camera "thing" to star in some amateur films...the tentacle kind.


Goblinbane was promoted from a +1 Goblin when he displayed the intensity of his hate for... whatever it is that he hates. Now he has an additional +2 enchantment and does 2d6 extra damage vs... whatever.

(I mean, is he a Bane to Goblins? Is he a Baneful Goblin, and, if so, to what? It's all a bit vague. He should put out a pamphlet or something...)

Scarab Sages

GoatToucher was promoted for being by far the snazziest dresser at his company.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

I'm Hiding In Your Closet got promoted for coming out of the closet, with the best "jazz hands!"


Sliska Zafir was promoted from corporate trainer at Monsters INC to CEO due to his dedication to scare.


Goblinbane devoured the company charter, and thus gained supreme power over the corporation.


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Ventnor was promoted for his great insight in the corporate take over of the lonely mountain. He now oversees all the assets with the utmost care.


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Goblinbane was promoted to chairman of the board at the greater corperation because nobody dares investigate him. All previous investigators are locked up in rubber rooms.


Goth Guru was promoted after he successfully managed to lock Goblinbane in a rubber room. What else could the board do after seeing a feat like that?


Ventnor was promoted to the owner of TWO lemonade stalls.


Sissyl was promoted to CEO of the lemonade business and overseeing its growth due to her insight in recent promotions.


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Goblinbane killed his enemy and ate his heart, gaining his power.

This is a surprising policy for a company like Best Buy, but it is all laid out in black and white in their employee policy handbook. Now, the Shaumburg, IL store has a new overnight stocking manager.


GoatToucher was promoted from the local zoo to move to Yellowstone and watch over their mountain goat herd personally. Everyone give him a hand...

Liberty's Edge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Goblinbane hacked this thread and promoted himself to most prolific poster.


Sliska Zafir also hacked this thread. With a machete.

His promotion was swift and inevitable.

Liberty's Edge

Ventnor got himself promoted by incinerating everyone above him. That's red dragons for you.

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Zeno was promoted, the blind leading the blind.


Sliska Zafir was promoted so that he wasn't dealing with the general public...mostly scaring them...

Grand Lodge

Thanks to what my kicking him in the face did for Goblinbane's looks, he's since been promoted all the way to Earl of LemonGrab!


Kali Altzairu has been promoted for taking her personal problems out on the less fortunate. She is now a head consultant for the merc firm that employs her.

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