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1001 Side Effects of Potions


Gamer Talk

51 to 83 of 83 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | next > last >>
Scarab Sages

94. Literal word salad - every word you say comes out of your mouth stamped on a piece of lettuce. Swear words, insults, slurs, and similar 'harsh' words pop out as croutons.


My swears are hot peppers!

95. Your 4 wisdom teeth grow back made of diamond. This is permanent till someone pulls them out. It's gonna hurt!

Scarab Sages

96. Who knew that cure disease potions caused autism???

You roll two dice and always take the lower result whenever making a Bluff, Diplomacy, Intimidate, or Sense Motive check, suffer a -2 penalty to Climb, Swim, and Acrobatics, a -4 penalty to saving throws versus effects that assault (but not deprive you of) your sensory faculties, gain a +4 bonus to Handle Animal, gain Focused Study exactly as the alternate Human racial feature, lose 2 points of Strength and Wisdom, gain 2 points of Intelligence, gain the ability to add your Intelligence modifier to Perform checks in addition to Charisma, become immune to all effects of any sort that depend on or create some sort of collective group mind, and your alignment shifts one step toward Chaotic (unless you already are Chaotic, in which case you gain an additional permanent +2 to Will saves). These effects are all permanent, and cannot be removed short of a wish or miracle.

If your character is already autistic, you instead gain 1 additional permanent point of Intelligence, and Skill Focus and Iron Will as bonus feats.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:

96. Who knew that cure disease potions caused autism???

You roll two dice and always take the lower result whenever making a Bluff, Diplomacy, Intimidate, or Sense Motive check, suffer a -2 penalty to Climb, Swim, and Acrobatics, a -4 penalty to saving throws versus effects that assault (but not deprive you of) your sensory faculties, gain a +4 bonus to Handle Animal, gain Focused Study exactly as the alternate Human racial feature, lose 2 points of Strength and Wisdom, gain 2 points of Intelligence, gain the ability to add your Intelligence modifier to Perform checks in addition to Charisma, become immune to all effects of any sort that depend on or create some sort of collective group mind, and your alignment shifts one step toward Chaotic (unless you already are Chaotic, in which case you gain an additional permanent +2 to Will saves). These effects are all permanent, and cannot be removed short of a wish or miracle.

If your character is already autistic, you instead gain 1 additional permanent point of Intelligence, and Skill Focus and Iron Will as bonus feats.

As somebody who is currently autistic, I am confused as to the strength reduction and move towards Chaotic (I'm a fan of clear instructions and routine). Rest of it seems fine.

Scarab Sages

The Sideromancer wrote:
As somebody who is currently autistic, I am confused as to the strength reduction and move towards Chaotic (I'm a fan of clear instructions and routine). Rest of it seems fine.

"Currently" autistic???

Anyways, my understanding is that inferior strength is part of the package (certainly is for me), and as for the alignment shift, the Law/Chaos axis of alignment is chiefly about one's place in/attitudes toward society - even though some may try, it's awfully hard to be Lawful if you lack a USB port for the hivemind, and certainly in this semi-joking scenario of somebody suddenly getting cut off from it, you can be sure it would be very disorienting.


Well, I used to be considered under Asperger's, but the definitions changed.

Scarab Sages

The Sideromancer wrote:
Well, I used to be considered under Asperger's, but the definitions changed.

Doesn't mean YOU did. It sounds to me, from what I've heard, like the Asperger's retcon turned out to be a big mistake.


97: Murphy's syndrome. Anybody near you searches for traps, they go off. An unstable cave caves in around you. All wandering monsters rolls are positive. Don't roll. Monsters in cages are released. Golems go berserk.

Scarab Sages

98. You belch up a small, harmless fireball.

Scarab Sages

99. vertigo

100. Your cup size (male or female) permanently increases by 1 full grade.

101. Your hat size permanently decreases by 5 full grades.

Dark Archive

102. The hag who made this batch of potions used them to spy on / communicate with her minions, and they cause a third eye to open up on the exposed skin (not necessarily forehead!) of the drinker for the spells duration. In the case of a spell with an instantaneous duration, such as cure light wounds, the third eye remains until you next receive healing, next take damage, or sleep overnight. The hag can see out of this third eye as she pleases.

103. The meat-shunning druid who made this potion made it look and taste like a kale/wheatgrass smoothie, but if you are a vegetarian or an herbivore, it acts as a full day's nourishment, in addition to it's normal effects. If you are an omnivore, it works normally, but tastes nasty. If you are an obligate carnivore, it has half normal effect or duration.

Scarab Sages

104. Your nose permanently grows 25% longer.

Dark Archive

105. This black and orange potion was handed out on a festive evening and when you drink the sickly-sweet concoction, it has the standard effects plus gives you and your equipment a Halloween makeover, making you appear like a pale vampire, rotting zombie, green skinned hag in overblown witch ensemble, stitched-together flesh golem, or similar beastie. This lasts as long as the potion does, or, for an instantaneous potion, until you are affected by any other spell or magical effect of more than cantrip level.


106. The next 10 times you enter a room or area, you are announced by a chorus of trumpets.

Scarab Sages

107. As #106, but the 'trumpets' sound like puerile fart noises (mercifully, they don't actually sound like they're coming directly from you).


108. Fort save DC20 or do the hokey pokey for 4 rounds because that's what it's all about.

Dark Archive

109. This potion was bottled while still hot and not given adequate time to cool. It then sat on a shelf for 65 years, give or take, having been knocked behind something else and then forgotten. The flask appears empty now, the potion having soaked into the glass, but the glass still radiates as magical, and if broken, the 'potion' is consumed by the holder/breaker normally. (If the breaker is holding it in their hand when it is broken, they may suffer 1 hit point of magic slashing damage, if they don't succeed at a DC 15 Reflex save.)


110. The potion is dried up in the bottom of the bottle. By pouring in clear or holy water and shaking it up, you can use the potion. The first time is full strength, the second it's 1 minute shorter duration, or -1 hit point healed, ect. When it hits 0 or less it's all used up.

Scarab Sages

111. You speak in a funny squeaky voice! for the duration of the potion's effect.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
107. As #106, but the 'trumpets' sound like puerile fart noises (mercifully, they don't actually sound like they're coming directly from you).

That's silly. Stop that.


Goth Guru wrote:
108. Fort save DC20 or do the hokey pokey for 4 rounds because that's what it's all about.

I said stop.


I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:
111. You speak in a funny squeaky voice! for the duration of the potion's effect.

Really, now.


112. You start to question everything, loudly. Aside from being annoying, it grants everyone within earshot a +4 to disbelieve illusions. This continues till they make the will save(based on the apparent spell level of the potion).

Scarab Sages

113. Popcorn sporadically shoots out your ears and nostrils for the duration of the potion's effect, or 1d10 minutes, whichever is longer.

Dark Archive

114. The hair on your head grows six inches per round, for a number of rounds equal to the level of the spell in the potion. There is a 50% chance that the effect is permanent (although the hair can be cut normally) and a 50% chance that *all* of the affected hair falls out when the potion expires (or immediately at the end of it's growth, for an instantaneous potion). If you are bald, your beard, if you have one, grows instead...

115. As above, but affecting your fingernails instead (one inch / round, for the same number of rounds as above), and including a 50% chance of being permanent (until trimmed) and a 50% chance of them popping off like pogs when the potion expires or the effect ends. Thankfully your toenails are not affected.

Scarab Sages

116. Your eyes pop out of their sockets and begin orbiting, equidistant from one another, around your head, imbuing you with All-Around Vision for the duration of the potion's effect or 10d6 minutes (whichever is longer). There is a 2% chance it becomes permanent.

Dark Archive

Ooh, neat.

117. This ancient potion was made by an Azlanti who had a fascination with ioun stones. After drinking it, all of your personal possessions that weigh less than 1 lb. drift off of you and begin orbiting your person like ioun stones, for the duration of the potion (or a number of rounds equal to the spell level of the potion, for those with an instantaneous duration). While this is happening, the items still count as equipped (and, in the case of items that occupy slots, such as rings, still count as occupying those slots), and are as hard to target as actual ioun stones (but not any tougher than they already were). At the end of the effect, they all drop to the ground, which could prove inconvenient...

118. This potion has sat in it's container so long that properties of the container have seeped into the potion. After drinking it, you gain the hardness of glass for the duration of the potion (1), but also assume a glassy texture, accompanied by the sound of breaking glass whenever you take damage, and shards of glass spraying out (instead of blood). During this time, you can be affected by shatter, mending and make whole as an inorganic item, but are unaffected by positive or negative energy. If only the bottler had sprung for a metal container, all those decade ago!

119. You are dazed for 1 round after drinking the potion, as your head explodes. This is accompanied by an illusion (glamer) effect of your head actually exploding, which fades when daze effect ends.

120. The alchemist who created this potion advertises by having an image of himself outside of his shop appear over the drinker for a moment, sing a little jingle in a dead language, dance a little dance, and then vanish in a puff of blue smoke (that smells strongly of musty incense). If the effect is longer than Instantaneous, the drinker also has a bright blue arcane mark with the name of his business appear in a visible location on their skin, armor or garments for the duration. (He's dead, his language is dead, the nation in which his home city and alchemy shop resided is a historical footnote.)

Scarab Sages

121. brain-teeth

122. teeth-brains

123. craving for spicy food


124. You're race changes to Galze magnorph. While this makes knowledge checks impossible, other game effects are up to the GM. At the end of the day you can make a fort save to return to normal.

Scarab Sages

125. Any water you bathe in becomes a bubble bath for as long as you are in it. This effect lasts 1d% years.


126. Those bubbles float away and everyone hears Lawrence Welk reruns.

Scarab Sages

127. Your entire skeleton, with the odd exception of your teeth, permanently changes color.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

128. All your organs start to talk to each other. Only you can hear them. The next anti-magic effect neutralizes this. Till this, your GM is passing you lots of notes. "Your liver says Don't Drink That!"

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