101 Ways To Make Your Players Say "Oh F-"


Pathfinder First Edition General Discussion

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Darksol the Painbringer wrote:

The sprites aren't very helpful due to their blockiness and inaccurate coloring compared to actual artwork (his standard "red" looks almost pink to me).

Official art shows Zero from the Zero series having a green gem, whereas, Zero from the X series has a blue gem. Omega having a blue gem and Zero having a green gem really only differentiates between them being different bodies, since Omega is considered to be in the X series body going by canon, which is what has the blue gem.

Either way, a hostile Zero with the Z-Saber rather upset my players more than a few times.


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102. "The massive, pulsing sac splits open, spilling a wave of scrabbling, shrieking death upon you."

Take this and add this.


Shadowborn wrote:

102. "The massive, pulsing sac splits open, spilling a wave of scrabbling, shrieking death upon you."

Take this and add this.

GAAAH!! Run away, RUN! AWAY!!


Long John wrote:
Darksol the Painbringer wrote:

The sprites aren't very helpful due to their blockiness and inaccurate coloring compared to actual artwork (his standard "red" looks almost pink to me).

Official art shows Zero from the Zero series having a green gem, whereas, Zero from the X series has a blue gem. Omega having a blue gem and Zero having a green gem really only differentiates between them being different bodies, since Omega is considered to be in the X series body going by canon, which is what has the blue gem.

Either way, a hostile Zero with the Z-Saber rather upset my players more than a few times.

Sure, but having a +X Brilliant Energy Longsword for loot ought to be worth it...


Darksol the Painbringer wrote:
Long John wrote:
Darksol the Painbringer wrote:

The sprites aren't very helpful due to their blockiness and inaccurate coloring compared to actual artwork (his standard "red" looks almost pink to me).

Official art shows Zero from the Zero series having a green gem, whereas, Zero from the X series has a blue gem. Omega having a blue gem and Zero having a green gem really only differentiates between them being different bodies, since Omega is considered to be in the X series body going by canon, which is what has the blue gem.

Either way, a hostile Zero with the Z-Saber rather upset my players more than a few times.
Sure, but having a +X Brilliant Energy Longsword for loot ought to be worth it...

I suppose, until you realize:

102. Every single enemy you face is a mechanical construct and unaffected by brilliant energy weapons.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

roguerouge wrote:
SmiloDan wrote:
roguerouge wrote:


At my particular tables, that's sort of an occupational hazard for being the healer. Good tactics for the monsters is knocking the cleric out of the combat first. It sows panic in the other side, prevents buffs, and makes sure that the next person down stays down. It might not be personal, is what I'm saying, but then, I'm not at YOUR table, so I can't really tell.

One time I died, we were about to do a long rest, and then a wizard showed up out of nowhere and hit me with a disintegrate that EXACTLY my current hit point total, which dusted me. We didn't heal up because we were doing a long rest, which traditionally at the table meant we were safe.

Yep. That's crap, vengeful DMing.

I'm getting over it.


The mounted stuffed heads of animals and other beasts begin acting as if they were alive. Pleasant Dreams, yinz B**ches.


Dragoncat wrote:
james014Aura wrote:
re 51: so, is she a Vampire, a Succubus, or a Calistrian? (And do any of those answers affect how doomed you are?)

That'd be left up to the DM's discretion. :)

She could be any one of those.

She could be all of those.


Angry Wizard wrote:
Dragoncat wrote:
james014Aura wrote:
re 51: so, is she a Vampire, a Succubus, or a Calistrian? (And do any of those answers affect how doomed you are?)

That'd be left up to the DM's discretion. :)

She could be any one of those.

She could be all of those.

Talk about the embodiment of a proverb.


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102: "Hey guys, so I recently read an FAQ about multiplying the cost of special materials..."


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102. "So I've decided to go with some monsters and rules from a couple of 4th-party publishers..."


JDLPF wrote:
102: "Hey guys, so I recently read an FAQ about multiplying the cost of special materials..."

LOL!


102: "it's funny that adding the young and advanced templates did not change the CR of these tiny creatures..."


102. "Are there any rules for, like, 'internal' touch AC?"


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I kind of love screwing with old-timer's assumptions.

"One kobold? Feh, I won't even break a sweat."
... one 12th level kobold sorcerer, that is ...


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102) The Human leading the gang of Goblins challenges you to a one-on-one duel. As you strike a mighty blow with your greataxe, confirming a critical that surely should cut him in half... he Rolls with It and is unharmed."

Human + Racial Heritage(Goblin) + Roll With It. This setup can be a little brutal.


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Zhayne wrote:

I kind of love screwing with old-timer's assumptions.

"One kobold? Feh, I won't even break a sweat."
... one 12th level kobold sorcerer, that is ...

Mayhaps one with precognitive powers...? XD

Dark Archive

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Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Zhayne wrote:

I kind of love screwing with old-timer's assumptions.

"One kobold? Feh, I won't even break a sweat."
... one 12th level kobold sorcerer, that is ...

Yeah, its fun to screw with assumptions :D

Like, currently everyone in my home campaign game seems to assume the BBEG lich is a necromancer. It will be fun in the distant future when they reach BBEG and the lich whips out the greatsword.

(I have to say though, I find players assuming wrong cliches funniest thing since I don't even try to screw with conventions :D)


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a lich whipping out a greatsword? should that not be a grave knight? how do you build a lich (11 caster levels to start with) so a greatsword is a worthwhile tactic for it?


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One wonders if said lich casts sword for dealing with minor interruptions. ;)


Klorox wrote:
a lich whipping out a greatsword? should that not be a grave knight? how do you build a lich (11 caster levels to start with) so a greatsword is a worthwhile tactic for it?

An elf lich with one level in [insert class granting proficiency with all martial weapons here] could use an elven curve blade with ease.

Alternatively, a half-elf lich that took Ancestral Arms instead of Adaptability could pick up MWP (greatsword).

Any race lich with one level in [insert class granting proficiency with all martial weapons here] could do it. Perhaps this lich is an eldritch knight... or an antipaladin ('though the latter generally become grave knights).


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A lich who's a cleric of Gorum might even prefer the greatsword to other methods of dealing with adversaries.

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Klorox wrote:
a lich whipping out a greatsword? should that not be a grave knight? how do you build a lich (11 caster levels to start with) so a greatsword is a worthwhile tactic for it?

Hes actually psychic lich mindblade magus :D

In general, I love how my players seem to assume that presence of undead beings = necromancer close by. I'm almost wondering if I should avoid having any necromancers in campaign just because of that, but then again, none of npc baddies I had planned are necromancers <_< So it would be more of case me adding one because players keep expecting one.


tonyz wrote:
A lich who's a cleric of Gorum might even prefer the greatsword to other methods of dealing with adversaries.

Perhaps a channeling greatsword of some stripe to let it zap the first target/round with its lich touch.

*chop*, paralysis ensues "I need to talk to you later. Your friends now ..."


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The Mad Comrade wrote:
Klorox wrote:
a lich whipping out a greatsword? should that not be a grave knight? how do you build a lich (11 caster levels to start with) so a greatsword is a worthwhile tactic for it?

An elf lich with one level in [insert class granting proficiency with all martial weapons here] could use an elven curve blade with ease.

Alternatively, a half-elf lich that took Ancestral Arms instead of Adaptability could pick up MWP (greatsword).

Any race lich with one level in [insert class granting proficiency with all martial weapons here] could do it. Perhaps this lich is an eldritch knight... or an antipaladin ('though the latter generally become grave knights).

Unless it's a cleric, or better a full bab class to start with, a dip in fighter won't make the greatsword/curveblade a worthwhile option, liches are not natively built for melee, and if it mainly rose in half bab classes like wizard or soercerer, its attack bonus won't be that great, so might be insufficient against well armored melee fighters...


It does for an eldritch knight (full BAB, near-full casting progression). A 5th level Wizard/Ftr 1st enters EK at 7th. At 16th level (10th EK) it has BAB +13 and casts spells/day at Wizard 14th. It became a Lich at EK 7th. From what I hear there are a few feats that pumps its Wizard casting up a full level or two, permitting earlier entry to lich. Plenty deadly enough for CR 17. ;)

As an end-boss it will do the trick against an APL 13-14 party.


Klorox wrote:
The Mad Comrade wrote:
Klorox wrote:
a lich whipping out a greatsword? should that not be a grave knight? how do you build a lich (11 caster levels to start with) so a greatsword is a worthwhile tactic for it?

An elf lich with one level in [insert class granting proficiency with all martial weapons here] could use an elven curve blade with ease.

Alternatively, a half-elf lich that took Ancestral Arms instead of Adaptability could pick up MWP (greatsword).

Any race lich with one level in [insert class granting proficiency with all martial weapons here] could do it. Perhaps this lich is an eldritch knight... or an antipaladin ('though the latter generally become grave knights).

Unless it's a cleric, or better a full bab class to start with, a dip in fighter won't make the greatsword/curveblade a worthwhile option, liches are not natively built for melee, and if it mainly rose in half bab classes like wizard or soercerer, its attack bonus won't be that great, so might be insufficient against well armored melee fighters...

Well, a lich would probably have better options, but a Quickened True Strike would make up for a lot of full-BAB levels....


Quickened true strike, Improved Vital Strike and hand of the apprentice with a damage-enhanced greatsword (3d6+ base weapon damage triples to 9d6+ weapon damage) is going to ruin someone's day. Make the weapon life stealing or something similarly nasty ...

Dark Archive

Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Debnor wrote:
Klorox wrote:
The Mad Comrade wrote:
Klorox wrote:
a lich whipping out a greatsword? should that not be a grave knight? how do you build a lich (11 caster levels to start with) so a greatsword is a worthwhile tactic for it?

An elf lich with one level in [insert class granting proficiency with all martial weapons here] could use an elven curve blade with ease.

Alternatively, a half-elf lich that took Ancestral Arms instead of Adaptability could pick up MWP (greatsword).

Any race lich with one level in [insert class granting proficiency with all martial weapons here] could do it. Perhaps this lich is an eldritch knight... or an antipaladin ('though the latter generally become grave knights).

Unless it's a cleric, or better a full bab class to start with, a dip in fighter won't make the greatsword/curveblade a worthwhile option, liches are not natively built for melee, and if it mainly rose in half bab classes like wizard or soercerer, its attack bonus won't be that great, so might be insufficient against well armored melee fighters...
Well, a lich would probably have better options, but a Quickened True Strike would make up for a lot of full-BAB levels....

For Magus Dimensional Blade would probably be better than quickened true strike since both take same slot, but dimensional blade is for one round instead of one attack? :D


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102. This guy.
Any projectiles are auto-deflected, and magic immunity, as they discover.


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The way they used Maul was so disappointing. They really built him up in the ad campaign and merchandising as so bad a$$ and menacing. His appearances in the Clone Wars and Star Wars Rebels series helped redeem that somewhat.


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AGreed, he'd deserve some more screentime in the movie(s).

Still, if a lone guy like him appears as the opponent....bring it on, adventurers.

102. An albino rabbit, sitting at the entrance of a cave, a boneyard of skeletons in front of the cave.
...and the PCs have to enter said cave.


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102. The players find a crypt filled with sarcophagi. When they open them they see their own mummified bodies. (Actually happened in a game many years ago).

Liberty's Edge

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102.

Cleric: "I cast Daylight."

GM: "You could have sworn you completed the spell correctly, but you still don't see anything." <turns to the dwarf> "You are no longer blind, as the cleric's focus begins flickering like a dim torch. Barely. ... Roll for initiative."


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Zhayne wrote:

I kind of love screwing with old-timer's assumptions.

"One kobold? Feh, I won't even break a sweat."
... one 12th level kobold sorcerer, that is ...

When I used to play old d&d (the one with the colored boxes) with my brother, I often put a dagger-armed, lone kobold in the middle of otherwise difficult dungeons. I found it funny.

If I had the option to slap a ton of caster levels on one of them, it would have been even more funny!


Mike Schneider wrote:

102.

Cleric: "I cast Daylight."

GM: "You could have sworn you completed the spell correctly, but you still don't see anything." <turns to the dwarf> "You are no longer blind, as the cleric's focus begins flickering like a dim torch. Barely. ... Roll for initiative."

Actually,

Daylight wrote:
Daylight brought into an area of magical darkness (or vice versa) is temporarily negated, so that the otherwise prevailing light conditions exist in the overlapping areas of effect.


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"Oh yeah? Well as of this moment, they're in... Double Secret Darkness."

-Dean Vermin Wyrmer


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DM Cal wrote:
102. The players find a crypt filled with sarcophagi. When they open them they see their own mummified bodies. (Actually happened in a game many years ago).

Seeing name tags included, mentioning their date of death.

102. Finding out the boss/semi boss they just slew, was a mook in disguise. The actual boss then appears, and he/she is still minty fresh, and ready to take down the weakened PCs.

102. DM: After you activate the magic rune, five figures appear.
They are you, but with bloody murder in their eyes.
Ever had a mirror match before?

102. They enter a pocket dimension, the only way to get out is defeating the guardian.
A sign says: [Magic Dead zone]

<Huge sized uber golem>
Imprint on its chest.
[Magic immune, High physical resist]
[FINAL DESTINATION.]

(Ok, i read about that somewhere on the boards, but it still falls into the 'Oh F#' category.)


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Oh, it looks like the number counter has stuck in 102.

*Hits the counter repeatedly, and random numbers start falling on her*

Waaaaargh!

2947364) You have been stuck by a curse that forces you all to speak in verse!


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Party time for the bard, who now has to prove to be the best in verses.

102. The party face is struck by a curse, forcing them to fail at every social roll.
Lying? Incapable of doing so.
Diplomacy? Everything is said so blunt, words could hammer apart a skeleton.

102. Pizza deliverer's gotten a flat tire while coming to your house.

102. One's little brother enters the room, won't take 'no' for an answer when wanting to play, and all round pesters you.

102. Gaspipe is hit, the ground rumbles, and your natural 20 turns into a natural 1 at the last second.


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It seems I still didn't fix the counter... nevermind.

102) (real GM that I had) I have lost all your character sheets so I will be GMing this session with no sheets (for at least 5 consecutive sessions, he never found the sheets, and never wanted us to do new sheets as he was sure they "where somewhere in his house")

For the ones who might ask, the sessions didn't play well without sheets.


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102. "I prefer to run without a map. Don't worry. I have excellent spatial imagination. Now, the guy with the shotgun shoots you in the chest--what? You thought he was behind a wall? I never said there was a wall. I just said there was a room and you were talking to him and I leaned around miming that there was a wall there. But you both had clear line of sight to each other. I visualized it perfectly with my excellent spatial imagination. No, I prefer to run without a map. And since you're walking across that room, you fall into the pit that was directly in your path. You didn't say you were avoiding the pit. I'm sure I mentioned it. It's right there, if you can just visualize correctly like me. I have excellent spatial imagination, I know where the pit is. I prefer to run without a map."


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The GM who GMed without sheets of course would rather GM without a map too. I have to say that he both GMed some of the best and the worst games I have been to.

102) I don't have a map but don't worry! I have a degree on arts and I'll sketch a map in a couple of seconds!

(10 minutes later)

No, no, that's not a door, it is a ladder. Did I mention my degree was on abstract arts?


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Kileanna wrote:
No, no, that's not a door, it is a ladder. Did I mention my degree was on abstract arts?

Better than that Escher guy. We spent six years on the same damn staircase...


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quibblemuch wrote:
Kileanna wrote:
No, no, that's not a door, it is a ladder. Did I mention my degree was on abstract arts?
Better than that Escher guy. We spent six years on the same damn staircase...

*Goes to get a drink so she can deveberage and use the cool sounding verb*

102. GM is drinking cola and deveberages on your character sheet

<----Guess who was that GM


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I'm dying laughing over here. My personal favorite I'm afraid dates me, all the way back to 2e

102) "Save vs. death/disintegration."


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I got this from a nice PDF called Secrets of Divine Channeling and was reminded by the undead = Necromancer discussion up thread.

102) A hoard of skeletons approach you in the darkened alley from both sides. As you raise your holy symbol and channel energy to harm them... they continue to advance, unaffected by your attempt.

They are actually skeletons either effected by Animate Object.

Liberty's Edge

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102. The gate back doesn't go as planned, and instead dumps the PCs off right where they started, and everything seems strangely deja vu....

<from the bedroom, Sonny & Cher's "I Got You Babe" begins playing on the GM's alarm-clock-radio>


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102. Current PFS special.
Tier 3-4, undead priest gets to do a death knell, as a free action, even at 0 hp.

Save or die...yup, sucks.


CorvusMask wrote:
Klorox wrote:
a lich whipping out a greatsword? should that not be a grave knight? how do you build a lich (11 caster levels to start with) so a greatsword is a worthwhile tactic for it?

Hes actually psychic lich mindblade magus :D

In general, I love how my players seem to assume that presence of undead beings = necromancer close by. I'm almost wondering if I should avoid having any necromancers in campaign just because of that, but then again, none of npc baddies I had planned are necromancers <_< So it would be more of case me adding one because players keep expecting one.

Make a necromancer your BBEG's valet, or personal bodyguard. Party rolls in, finally dusts their 'final adversary', then meets the real one.

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