101 Ways To Make Your Players Say "Oh F-"


Pathfinder RPG General Discussion

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can a skeleton be both burning and bloody at the same time?
a thing that explodes into a fireball, AND comes back an hour later don't seem too compatible

but yeah, brown mold on a burning skel, that's ugly.


Azten wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
But wouldn't the flaming on the bloody skeletons kill the brown mold?
Nope! Fire doubles the area of brown mold each round. Cold damage kills brown mold. SInce the cold damage the brown mold gives off is non-lethal damage it doesn't even hurt the skeleton.

D'oh! I'd totally forgotten that. We haven't played a dungeon crawl or anything similar but three or four times in the three years this campaign has been running, so I've not had a reason to use brown mold. I may have one now.. lol

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Azten wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
But wouldn't the flaming on the bloody skeletons kill the brown mold?
Nope! Fire doubles the area of brown mold each round. Cold damage kills brown mold. SInce the cold damage the brown mold gives off is non-lethal damage it doesn't even hurt the skeleton.

Aren't skeletons immune to regular cold damage too?

**checks dead tree Bestiary**

Yup!

:-D

Diabolical!!!!

Liberty's Edge

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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Players see my shelf with Horror Adventures with all my Ravenloft 2nd/3.5 books and hear me say I have a few ideas for a Horror Campaign :-3 Generally get's me several "oh F-'s"


Interesting, I'd have expected 'no thanks, call me when you're past that phase' instead.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Klorox wrote:

can a skeleton be both burning and bloody at the same time?

a thing that explodes into a fireball, AND comes back an hour later don't seem too compatible

but yeah, brown mold on a burning skel, that's ugly.

During one of the Superstar competitions, someone made a brown mold-covered buffalo monster. I think a skeletal bison covered in brown mold would be pretty scary! And possibly look like a living bison--until it was too late!

Liberty's Edge

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
Klorox wrote:
Interesting, I'd have expected 'no thanks, call me when you're past that phase' instead.

me too. Although I do have two that get overly excited by it as well....so guess it's not 100%


SmiloDan wrote:
Aren't skeletons immune to regular cold damage too?

Normal skeletons are immune to cold, burning skeletons get fire immunity and gain vulnerability to cold instead. The brown mold thing is a really good idea, the fact that the mold's damage is non-lethal probably won't effect them.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

Pizza Lord wrote:
SmiloDan wrote:
Aren't skeletons immune to regular cold damage too?
Normal skeletons are immune to cold, burning skeletons get fire immunity and gain vulnerability to cold instead. The brown mold thing is a really good idea, the fact that the mold's damage is non-lethal probably won't effect them.

Great point! It's still a neat idea. :-)


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GM's jump spider. If the GM thinks you are somehow cheating, they have a humongous spider jump on the suspect from the ceiling. They are also attracted by someone saying "This adventure was too easy."


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I've seen that function accomplished by rains of anvils, or by the Flying Pig (just what it sounds like, a Colossal+ sized winged porcine that eats Wyrm dragons for breakfast and that kills character by main force of DM fiat, often by a breath weapon that targets any weakness of theirs, or by drowning them in a colossal wad of dung)


The giant pig is accompanied/ridden in my games by Athetos: the god of forbidden knowledge. Any character engaged in excessive meta gaming or that is constantly leaving Character is subsequently struck down. Typical not through violent means, just by NPCs refusing to interact with a crazy person.


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I have had an "Omniscient" player in one of my games. The gods decided that the character was wasted on the mortal world, and they commited apotheosis on him on the spot. I took the character sheet away from him, and gave the character a minor position in the celestial order. Of course, the character was now beyond play, and the player no longer had any influence on it. But, really, it is an HONOR.
^-^


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And then there's me. In my headcanon, Nethys is an authority on metagame information. Everybody calls him insane when he says that a fighter is clearly defined and distinct from a warrior, but at least he has an answer for iomedae when she can't figure out why that holy warrior can smite and this holy warrior can cast spells faster.


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I had to share this because not only did everyone go "oh f-", this thing gave me nightmares.

GM: You enter the cavern, and are greeted by the reek of embalming fluid, and what sounds like the crying, giggling, and screaming of dozens, if not hundreds of people.

Players: *exchange glances and shove the tank in first*

Tank: Um, hello?

GM: You really call out 'hello'?

Tank: Uh, well yeah. We have to rescue the village kids right? What if they're trapped in here?

GM: The sound of many people increases to cacophonous levels, and is then accompanied by the sound of something vast slithering. From a chasm in the floor squelches a monstrosity in the shape of a dragon, but composed entirely of human bodies. Many of whom appear to be still alive.

Players: Oh f-


That is AWESOME!

If you could hold of that creature's stats from your GM it would be an incredible creature to run on my Halloween game!


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:

That is AWESOME!

If you could hold of that creature's stats from your GM it would be an incredible creature to run on my Halloween game!

That thing is definitely a great fit for a Halloween game. Still 'living' cadavers screaming for help, wailing piteously, and laughing insanely, the constant threat of being grabbed, dragged inside, and incorporated into its body by dozens of clutching arms, and everyone sickened by the smell of it. It was one of the nastiest fights my group has ever been in.

I talked to our GM, and while he doesn't have the stats for that specific monster anymore, he said it was basically a reskinned ravener with the mind feed ability from the charnel colossus in place of spells. That and I remember having to avoid a ton of grapples from all those waving arms. Hopefully that's enough to work with.

Also, did I mention that the village didn't get their kids back?


I kinda doubted they would... LOL

Thanks for the information!


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That reminds me of Drakengard 3 and the monster from Lady 2's DLC.

Hell, if you need ANYTHING Halloween related just go find some material from Drakengard or Nier. Dear god those games are amazing trainwrecks.


I was reminded of

Spoiler:
Envy
from FMA Brotherhood.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

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We're running the 5th Edition version of the Sunless Citadel, and our party of six 1st level PCs is cutting through the encounters like warm butter with an eldritch blast, so the DM decides

spoiler:
to convert the CR 2 wyrmling white dragon to a CR 6 young white dragon!!!!

And it has a totally unanticipated burrow speed!

From beneath you, it devours!

My drow bard sage is dragon-chow! And so is Meepo!!!!! :-O


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102. Just smile right after rolling damage dice, or a secret Perception check, or pretty much any roll.
102. Get a dice tower, and one of those mixed bag of 100 dice (or other large bag of dice). When the players walk in, make sure they see the dice tower with a funnel taped to the top, and the large bag of dice hung above it. If they ask, it's your BBEG's damage dice.


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I just came here after more than a hundred posts to check if we were still stuck at 102.
I am relieved to see we are.
I am proud of you.


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102. Explaining what a slugspawn does to a PC who passed his knowledge (dungeoneering) check but failed his reflex save.


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102 NOT! When the guide the party really needs goes through the Slug spawn evolution.


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102.
GM: “Before you can attack the shadow demon again, the room goes dark.”
PC 1: “I cast light!”
GM: “As you look around, the demon is nowhere to be seen.”
*Rolls a die, then counts around table silently, ending on PC 2.*
*Rolls a d20, then winces.*
PC 3: “Let’s search the room. It’s possible there’s some sort of secret door, so…”
GM: “As all of you investigate the walls and floor for secret switches, PC 2 begins to feel strange. PC 3, what’s your flat-footed armour class?”


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102. As the players enter: "Hey! It's the guys who put the 'T' in TPK!"


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quibblemuch wrote:
102. As the players enter: "Hey! It's the guys who put the 'T' in TPK!"

That's the funniest thing I've seen all morning!


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:
quibblemuch wrote:
102. As the players enter: "Hey! It's the guys who put the 'T' in TPK!"
That's the funniest thing I've seen all morning!

Thanks! I sometimes feel like maybe I put in more GM time prepping my smack talk than prepping the actual adventure... but then a line like that comes along and it's all worth it, y'know?

:)


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Oddman80 wrote:

61) GM: "Hey guys. Sorry I had to miss the last couple sessions. Speaking of which, I want you to meet my girlfriend - she's going to be joining us from now on. Nown she's never played before, so be patient, but I've helped her make a character that I think she will enjoy playing. Its an awakened pony packlord druid... what did you say her nane was, sweetie? that's right, Fluttershy"

they might not say it out loud. but i guarantee they will be thinking it.

My daughter wants to know why it had to be a girlfriend?


103. Telling the paladin with the holy sword that he recognizes the sword and full plate armor that the vampire is wearing is adamantine, then roll the dice and mumble "sundering attack against holy sword".


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So this happened yesterday . . .

GM: There is a single gnoll with an ax over his shoulder approaching the house. He does not appear to have noticed you.

Gunslinger: I shoot him in the back before he reaches the door! I crit!

GM: The gnoll goes down, and the shot rings out across the village. Several villagers come outside and stare at us, shocked. A woman opens the door to the house, sees the party approaching, then looks down at the dead gnoll and screams.

Vigilante: Ma'am, there is no need to be alarmed, it's dead. You're safe now.

GM: The woman drops to her knees, beginning to cry over the dead gnoll and screams "you just killed my husband! Guards! Murder!"

Players: Oh f-


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102. "You enter the evil wizard's sanctum and see six individuals in the room. All of them are the wizard. Additionally, they all have mirror image up."

Simulacrum is a fun spell.


MidsouthGuy wrote:

So this happened yesterday . . .

GM: There is a single gnoll with an ax over his shoulder approaching the house. He does not appear to have noticed you.

Gunslinger: I shoot him in the back before he reaches the door! I crit!

GM: The gnoll goes down, and the shot rings out across the village. Several villagers come outside and stare at us, shocked. A woman opens the door to the house, sees the party approaching, then looks down at the dead gnoll and screams.

Vigilante: Ma'am, there is no need to be alarmed, it's dead. You're safe now.

GM: The woman drops to her knees, beginning to cry over the dead gnoll and screams "you just killed my husband! Guards! Murder!"

Players: Oh f-

Hee hee; I just restarted a RotRl game and my daughter is playing a female gnoll - who has the Merchant Family trait...she and her parents were killed when she was a child and she was the only one saved...by reincarnation.


If you happen to know your players come to these boards, start a topic where you ask how to get past the player's optimization.

For bonus points, describe a sunder build that looks like one of the bad guys.


103 Green Slime.


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Once you go gnoll, you never go back.


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Slim Jim wrote:
Once you go gnoll, you never go back.

Dungeon Magazine issue #48 had an adventure called To Bite the Moon, involving a ring of wishes, a carelessly-worded phrase, and the gnoll goddess responsible for biting away the moon every month to bring back darkness.

Dungeon Magazine #48
It's 2nd edition, but a fun read.


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For over a year now, I've been playing a character who, in his backstory, got reincarnated as a gnoll.

And how about the 2nd edition module The Silver Key?

The Silver Key:
In a human city called Honshar, a mage named Otasura recruits the PCs, polymorphs them into orcs, and has them infiltrate an orcish fortress. Once the PCs accomplish their goals in the fortress, they have to flee and return to Otasura.

I quote the module: "Once the PCs get to Otasura's manor, they will wait in vain. Otasura cannot teleport the PCs out (as she said she would do in Chapter 1), because she was killed in the fighting near Honshar on Day 10. Oops."

Yes, the module says "Oops."

Now the PCs have to continue the adventure while trying to convince the humans, elves, etc that they encounter not to kill them! We're not orcs - honest!

Silver Crusade

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102

GM: You find a cloaked figure on the side of the road with a horse next to him and a scroll case.

Cloaked figure: "Greetings! what if I told you I have a pouch of gold if you do this little thing for me."

Player: "Sure. Is it a bad ass quest?"

Cloaked figure: "Just get on this horse and take this case."

Player: I do what he says for the gold!

GM: After getting on the horse you open the case and you find things like "COLLECT 10 BOAR RIBS" and "KILL 6 GOBLINS & WARCHEIF SNICHELS".

Player: What? These are just lame quest. I get off the horse and go.

GM: Who said those quest are for you? Oh and you find your stuck on the horse and you also notice there's a Yellow exclamation mark above your head. The cloaked figures leans into your ear and says "Welcome to the machine" with a wide grin.

Player: "OH F-"


For about 10 years, I wondered if Chadranther's Bane (from Dungeon magazine, issue 18) would make my players say "Oh f-". This week, I finally found out the answer: quite the contrary, when - after a long time of weird things going on - one of the players, my 12-year-old son, figured out what had happened, he exclaimed "That's neat!" and threw himself into the challenges of the adventure with gusto and ingenuity. But maybe some your players might say "Oh f-" if you ran Chadranther's Bane for them.

If you want to hear the many clues and hints I gave my players before I reveal the punchline, read this post. For the "too long; didn't read" version, click on the Spoiler button below.

Chadranther's Bane:
I made it sound like the PCs had been transported to another world or something, and the players examined the huge room in which they found themselves. An entire play session went by in this strange new world. At the beginning of the next play session, I dropped the clue that made my son burst out "WE SHRUNK!!!"

They had indeed. The strange new world was the same wayhouse they had been in before; it was simply tremendously big.


ConanTheGrammarian wrote:
O.J. Pinckert wrote:
The best way to make players say "Oh F-"... As they are looking around, calmly say "You hear an audible click..."

My players would point out that you can't, by definition, hear an inaudible click. They would then ask if they saw any invisible people or smelled any non-olfactory odors.

At this point, someone would break into "To Dream the Impossible Dream," substituting "To Hear the Inaudible Click!"

And then I would probably be the one saying "oh f---".

Because that. Is how. We roll.

Synesthesia. I've known someone who could smell certain musical tones


Daw wrote:

Piranha Demons were bad. Dave was a very, very intense GM.

Silver Slythe were worse, they were rather slow, nearly unkillable slug creatures that would follow you forever.
Worst, of course was a spider, the Spiga. Dave loved his spiders.
"From out of the forest, brushing the smaller trees aside, you see a spider, it's head and body are nearly 50 feet long. Its metallic chitin isn't even scuffed by the trees. It is casting ...."

Any of my characters: NOPE!


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The floor of this room is a checkerboard grid; half the tiles are gratings, and the other half are pools of murky water, the depth impossible to make out. There are tiny holes in all the walls. Painted on the wall in what might be dried blood is a riddle: "Ever present, never seen. I come for peasant, king or queen." Scattered about the floor are statues of various beings, their faces frozen in expressions of horror. There are many bones scattered around, some of them blackened with soot, some too large to be human. In the corners of the ceiling, ten feet up, there are dragon heads painted in different colours, their mouths open as though breathing fire. In each of their mouths is a silver key. The rest of the ceiling is covered in small spikes, pointing down. There is a lever in the middle of the floor; it looks badly rusted. You detect a faint smell of rotting meat, and hear a trickle of running water.

At the far end of the room is an open treasure chest, full of gold coins. Above it hangs a sword, dangling from a single thread.

What do you do?


wow, that room looks awesome... is there somewhere an actual description for it in full, or should I make stuff up for it? (well, I might do so anyway, but I'd like to see how somebody else did such a setup)


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Matthew Downie wrote:

The floor of this room is a checkerboard grid; half the tiles are gratings, and the other half are pools of murky water, the depth impossible to make out. There are tiny holes in all the walls. Painted on the wall in what might be dried blood is a riddle: "Ever present, never seen. I come for peasant, king or queen." Scattered about the floor are statues of various beings, their faces frozen in expressions of horror. There are many bones scattered around, some of them blackened with soot, some too large to be human. In the corners of the ceiling, ten feet up, there are dragon heads painted in different colours, their mouths open as though breathing fire. In each of their mouths is a silver key. The rest of the ceiling is covered in small spikes, pointing down. There is a lever in the middle of the floor; it looks badly rusted. You detect a faint smell of rotting meat, and hear a trickle of running water.

At the far end of the room is an open treasure chest, full of gold coins. Above it hangs a sword, dangling from a single thread.

What do you do?

What do I do? Retire. Just... retire. Rooms like that are the gods' way of saying "You've adventured long enough. Find a hamlet with a favorable exchange rate and low property values and enjoy your twilight years."


The Checkerboard Room:
It's just a collection of suspicious trap trigger tropes, designed to overwhelm the PCs with possible threats. One possibility is that there are no actual dangers in there; it's just a way to scare people away from your gold.

Scarab Sages

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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Maps, Modules, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps Subscriber
Pizza Lord wrote:
SmiloDan wrote:
Aren't skeletons immune to regular cold damage too?
Normal skeletons are immune to cold, burning skeletons get fire immunity and gain vulnerability to cold instead. The brown mold thing is a really good idea, the fact that the mold's damage is non-lethal probably won't effect them.

I remember a level of a certain dungeon has mummies infected by brown mold.

Mummies are vulnerable to fire. So players naturally target them with a fire spell.
Then Mold goes *poef*


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*stealing the heck out of that*

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