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101 Ways To Make Your Players Say "Oh F-"


Pathfinder RPG General Discussion

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Shadow Lodge

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102. GM: "Your latest batch of CLW potions from Cupid's Alchemical Concoctions were made with loving care. ...lotsa love, actually. I'm gonna need will saves from everyone, and fort saves from all the guys. And it's a weird save, too: take your bonus and make it a negative, because the healthier you are, the worse you fail this one."


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Pathfinder Tales Subscriber

102 GM- Okay you drank the potion? Good, now let me see your character sheet...

Cursed items you gotta love them.


102. Entering a large town, it becomes clear there is a lack of male residents. Also, all the men in the party lose half their current HP every minute.

102. The party faces a fight with some very alluring women. All male party members can't take any actions that would affect them.
They just fawn over them.

102. The party faces a group of very handsome Knights in shining armor. All female partymembers can't take any actions that would affect them.
They just swoon over them.


102. Someone has a deep grudge, and keeps sending ever increasingly difficult assassins after them at the worst times possible.

They complete a bossfight by the skin of their teeth, only to have a new group of tip-top shape assassins enter the room. (Or pop from invisibility)


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Chyrone wrote:

102. Someone has a deep grudge, and keeps sending ever increasingly difficult assassins after them at the worst times possible.

They complete a bossfight by the skin of their teeth, only to have a new group of tip-top shape assassins enter the room. (Or pop from invisibility)

As it turns out these assassins are Care Bear Ninjas, determined to kill them with kindness. Seriously, grapple checks and inhaled aphrodisiac poison bombs, all to badly choreographed musical numbers.

The horror ... the horror ...


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That would be more of a "GROAN" moment, at which the baseball bats come out again.


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The Oh F- moment is when someone tells a groaner and the watch come running with baseball bats.

RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

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The Mad Comrade wrote:
Chyrone wrote:

102. Someone has a deep grudge, and keeps sending ever increasingly difficult assassins after them at the worst times possible.

They complete a bossfight by the skin of their teeth, only to have a new group of tip-top shape assassins enter the room. (Or pop from invisibility)

As it turns out these assassins are Care Bear Ninjas, determined to kill them with kindness. Seriously, grapple checks and inhaled aphrodisiac poison bombs, all to badly choreographed musical numbers.

The horror ... the horror ...

Drop Bear Ninjas would be horrifying.


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Goth Guru wrote:


The Oh F- moment is when someone tells a groaner and the watch come running with baseball bats.

Very true.

Also..
102. Killer bunnies, able to slaughter Knights wearing full plate.


I made an encounter at some small oasis in a desert and encounter some Lizardmen. The level 3 or so party also had hired a guard to help them sleep/guard their mule.

They go to sleep nearby but have the guard trying to watch and they wake up to find all the lizard bodies missing with clear drag marks into the pond, which I think I had given a hint already had something in it.

They (evil) convince their guard to check it out and a Chuul promptly grabs him with each pincer and rips him in half in grisly fashion in front of the party, and sinks below the surface again. (Note: that's a lot of damage for a lvl 2 guard to eat.)

The party did think it wise to leave.


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That's prime eatin' there. Lobster and calamari in one critter? C'mon, cook it up with a steamball and break out the melted butter. Noms.


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:
In my opinion what the GM did was totally unfair to the players. Anyone could see the difference between a great big boulder and a bloody huge bird. I'm all about tricking the players when it MAKES SENSE to do so, but it has to be fair to the them and to enhance the story. But not describing the creature and just saying the word "roc" was pretty underhanded, IMHO.

We force the Gm to explain specifically because if she doesn't we hear dirty implications, and then start laughing immaturely.


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102. The party faces a team of other (non evil) adventurers atop a large mountain's peak.

The other party's leader is said to be a famous warrior, and just so happens to be 1st in init.

"FUS-ROH-DAH"

(+ the nat 20 on cone shaped bullrush)


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Oh fus...


102:NOT Sure death, no save, anything in a list. This is why nobody wants to use potion miscibility tables. A lot of the lists in homebrew run over 100 so you can toss the sure death stuff and still be able to roll D100.


The party reaches 17th to 19th level and you tell them that you're going to introduce 3 pages of house rules.


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Huh... 12 bodaks seem to be cr appeopriate. Saves please?


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PC's daughter has a new pet. The Tarrasque. "It followed me home. Can I keep it?"

Shadow Lodge

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102. GM informs group of the Sphere of Annihilation Latrine after the TPK.

Grand Lodge

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Pathfinder Tales Subscriber

102. Now, once you hit level 10- we're going to convert your characters to StarFinder!

102. You walk into the inky darkness of the room... Oh, wait. That's a Black Pudding covering the door way. Roll Initiative! Black Pudding has surprise round, and engulfs everyone!

102. I've decided to run Giant Slayer! And you are all playing Tiny player races! It's going to be awesome!

102. That Bag of Holding you've had since Day 1, has absorbed so much Negative Energy- it's become a Bag of Devouring.

102. You know that group of thugs you beat up? Yea, they had a hunting party out, and one of them was a cleric. To escape- you have to fight 15 of them, and they're all prepared this time.

102. Guess what? New house rule! Leprosy! Whenever you take enough damage to hit 10 hp or less of your total HP, you lose a body part! Good news! Grafting! You want a dragon claw to replace your malformed hand? Go convince a dragon to give you his claw.


102. The PCs fight enemies who wield keen bane weapons.

GM: Btw, we're playing with the critical hits injuries chart for this session.


I'm going to let the party Paladin kill everything that registers as evil, whether it's committing an evil act or not. Also, he can kill the children of "evil races" because they are irredeemable and must therefore be wiped from the world.


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:
I'm going to let the party Paladin kill everything that registers as evil, whether it's committing an evil act or not. Also, he can kill the children of "evil races" because they are irredeemable and must therefore be wiped from the world.

So it's this guy.


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DungeonmasterCal wrote:
I'm going to let the party Paladin kill everything that registers as evil, whether it's committing an evil act or not. Also, he can kill the children of "evil races" because they are irredeemable and must therefore be wiped from the world.

SOUNDS LIKE A REASONABLE AND RIGHTEOUS GM TO ME, BATTLE-BROTHER!

ON A RELATED NOTE...

102)"FOR THIS CAMPAIGN I THINK I WILL SHAKE THINGS UP A BIT! YOU WILL HAVE TO PROTECT THE POOR, INNOCENT, MISUNDERSTOOD UNDEAD WHO WERE MINDING THEIR OWN BUSINESS BEFORE THE MEAN OPPRESSIVE CRUSADE SHOWED UP TO TRY AND ANNIHILATE THEM!"


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Dramatically rip up 8 sheets of paper while glaring at them after they just killed a random NPC.


you play with murderhobos?


Klorox wrote:
you play with murderhobos?

Not really, but nothing makes a player go "oh f-" quite like the insinuation that they just pissed off the DM by killing a NPC that was supposed to be very plot relevant.


102) Gibbering Mouthers.

102a) A Huge Adavanced Gibbering Mouther.

Module Spoilers:
]My Saturday group hates these things with a passion and they've shown up in Emerald Spire. I'm thinking of running Dragon's Demand next just to mess with them, since it has one too XD


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102) "You know, I think Pathfinder nerfed vorpal weapons a bit too much, don't you? Anyway I have decided to bring back the rules for them from 3.5. so they are more like they used to be. Well enough out of game talk, you walk into the next room and see a 20th level slayer dual-wielding two +4 agile vorpal adamantine kuriki. Oh, did I mention that he specializes in crits?"


Malefactor wrote:
102) "You know, I think Pathfinder nerfed vorpal weapons a bit too much, don't you? Anyway I have decided to bring back the rules for them from 3.5. so they are more like they used to be. Well enough out of game talk, you walk into the next room and see a 20th level slayer dual-wielding two +4 agile vorpal adamantine kuriki. Oh, did I mention that he specializes in crits?"

What does an agile weapon do already, and what book is it from? Isn't a set of keen kukri bad enough in the hands of a slayer? ok, Adamantine, vorpal keen kukris, which won't leave much room for actual pluses).


The agile weapon property allows you to use your dexterity modifier for damage rolls instead of your strength modifier. It's from, I think, the Pathfinder Field Guide.


I'm disappointed that so many of these are just variations of "let the PCs know that the enemy in front of them is way too powerful".


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Pathfinder Adventure Path, Companion, Modules, Roleplaying Game Subscriber

This takes some time to setup and may depend on players paying attention but over time introduce a few little details - but don’t dwell on them - a cat scampering among the tables in the player’s favorite tavern, some birds flying around their campsite etc. weave the little details into your descriptions but don’t linger on them or call them out too much (and don’t just start doing this you have to have been descriptive all the time). But then sessions and levels later reintroduce some familiar elements - in a way that will have your players questioning everyone and everything. Is that tavern cat just a cat or a familiar? Is that bird that seems the same as one you saw weeks ago just following you for the scraps and kills you leave in your wake or is it a Druid?

(For that matter an evil or just neutral but not happy with the party) high level Druid should make the players really twitchy - with the ability to become anyone (via thousand faces) and nearly anything (via wild shape) they have to assume that the Druid could be anyone they meet or anything.

In general I think also giving the PCs a non-evil adversary can for many players be very challenging. Their rivals actions may be justifiable and not evil (but also not good) and being murderhobos is unlikely to actually resolve the conflict (and mechanically while I don’t suggest this all the time but a party with paladins etc will find a neutral and non-evil adversary harder than similar CR but evil or even evil undead, dragons, outsiders of a higher CR would be.

Combine with illusions or transformation abilities and the PCs (and players) will curse you as they avoid being evil (assuming a herotic/good focused campaign) while also resolving the conflicts. If nothing else mechanically it likely buys your NPCs some time to setup their abilities and buff/prepare once conflict is inevitable.


Selvaxri wrote:

{. . .}

102. I've decided to run Giant Slayer! And you are all playing Tiny player races! It's going to be awesome!
{. . .}

Depending upon what is available for Tiny player races, this could actually be pretty good. I had this idea for a Giantslayer party of all Small + Dwarf characters -- mainly scale down to match the Tiny specification, although you won't have access to some of the Halfling-specific stuff linked above.


Azten wrote:
The agile weapon property allows you to use your dexterity modifier for damage rolls instead of your strength modifier. It's from, I think, the Pathfinder Field Guide.

thank you Azten.. I thought it a 3.xx property... and it seems to come from an adventure.


Klorox wrote:
Azten wrote:
The agile weapon property allows you to use your dexterity modifier for damage rolls instead of your strength modifier. It's from, I think, the Pathfinder Field Guide.
thank you Azten.. I thought it a 3.xx property... and it seems to come from an adventure.

Yes, from Pathfinder Adventure Path #100: A Song of Silver. Archive of Nethys has got you covered if you want the specifics.


I see it for printed and not Nerfed to the point few people want it.. Nice! Now if only we could get guided back.


A lifedrinker great ax wielded by a high level undead. Even worse, a juju zombie tri keen warrior wielding 2 life drinkers(requires 4 or more arms).


No.: Tell them this
"You see a long hallway lined with ornate mirrors"


ShadeKyubi wrote:

No.: Tell them this

"You see a long hallway lined with ornate mirrors"

Oh, F*ck, indeed. :)


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In this new campaign we will be strictly tracking encumberance, ammunition expendatures and rations. Spell casters will be required to inventory specific material components as well.


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Java Man wrote:
In this new campaign we will be strictly tracking encumberance, ammunition expendatures and rations. Spell casters will be required to inventory specific material components as well.

DING!DING!DING!

We have a winner!


Well played, Java Man, well played.


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doc roc wrote:
Java Man wrote:
In this new campaign we will be strictly tracking encumberance, ammunition expendatures and rations. Spell casters will be required to inventory specific material components as well.

DING!DING!DING!

We have a winner!

Joke's on you, I do all that stuff anyway!


That's way too much bookkeeping for my group. They keep track of wand charges and how many arrows or bolts they've shot in a game session, but we handwave the keeping track of material components because getting my group to do something like replenishing stuff during downtime is like pulling teeth. I sometimes keep track of what spells they cast and then have them subtract it from their wealth, but I'm too lazy to do it very much. And the next campaign already has 3 spellcasters planned for it. I'm going to try and get them to write down what spells they cast and let me know so I can figure the crap out for them (granted they all have busy lives and jobs. I'm disabled and can't work any longer so I do have the time).


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John Napier 698 wrote:

102. So, you drank the Vampire's healing potion?

** spoiler omitted **

I have those in my campaign. Party picked them up from the remains of a dread ghoul rogue. Potions of inflict critical wounds.

102!) Openly rolled random encounter... Party rolls a 100 on the new custom random encounter table I just introduced for the campaign. "Oh. I didn't expect you to hit 100 right away. You hear the roar of the umbral dragon on the wind." The party is level 8. The umbral dragon is huge. That means he's at least CR 14 by standard umbral dragon age categories (actually CR 15 in the campaign, mature adult umbral dragon).

They survived that only because I gave him some alternative prey more enticing than them. (It entered combat just behind a group of wandering wights it was already pursuing--umbral dragons prefer their meals undead.)

102!!) ROT GRUBS

My party has encountered these a couple times now.


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Rot grubs and greenslime are underevalued Oh Frag factors.


Brown Mold growing on Flaming Skeletons. Flaming, Bloody Skeletons.


But wouldn't the flaming on the bloody skeletons kill the brown mold?


DungeonmasterCal wrote:
But wouldn't the flaming on the bloody skeletons kill the brown mold?

Nope! Fire doubles the area of brown mold each round. Cold damage kills brown mold. SInce the cold damage the brown mold gives off is non-lethal damage it doesn't even hurt the skeleton.

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